Wax on, wax off.
Nothing prepared me for what I was getting myself into my first time getting my vagina waxed. A million thoughts raced through my head as the lady attempted to engage in conversation in attempt to take my mind off of the wrath I was about to feel from the wax. As I laid on the table and felt the hot wax on my pubic area, I had to ask myself, "E, why are we doing this again?"
Waxing was never something I wanted to do. I heard of people doing it, but didn't believe it was really for me. That was until I started having not-so-pretty results from shaving. I started experiencing irritation, bumps, darkening, and not to mention, when the hair grew back, I found myself sneaking a scratch whenever I had the chance. I'd scratch and pray I wouldn't get caught and become the next viral meme. There had to be a better way. I soon learned that I wasn't alone when it came to problematic shaving experiences. Women all over have been suffering for years; however, many seem to be more afraid of the pain associated with waxing than being stuck with bumps and irritation that came with shaving.
I was one of them until I wasn't.
So, waxing it was.
I tried to get a Brazilian a month prior, but nobody told me my hair had to be a certain length. Oh, the horror. I was forced to rock the the wolf look for an entire month. On the big day. I wore loose pants, ditched the panties, and showered for so long that my skin squeaked at the touch. I told the lady that it was my first time and to be gentle. She chuckled and said, "Don't worry, I'll take my time and I'll be gentle." (This convo definitely sounds like it was going in a different direction, doesn't it?) She started applying the wax.
At that point, there was no turning back. I was in it to win it.
She asked me about my life and what brought me in. I was sure it was obvious. My private area looked as if I could play connect the dots from the ingrown hairs and irritation. I got in one sentence, and when she pulled the first strip of cooled wax, I felt an indescribable feeling. I immediately closed my eyes and clinched my toes. The sound of the wax being pulled off didn't help. I was certain some of my skin ripped with it. I decided to sneak a peek and was blown away with the initial result.
Sure, it was painful, but it was a quick pain that seemed to subside almost instantly. The rest of the experience was much easier, as I talked my way through it all. She said, "All done with that side! Now turn around, lay on your stomach, and lift up your butt."
Yep, I decided to go all the way my first time, and to my surprise, the backdoor was a lot easier to clean than the front.
Now that I'm hairless and smooth as ever down there, I have to say, I love the look.
The results left me feeling clean and made for a much more aesthetically pleasing look and feel than at home shaving attempts. With all that being said, I definitely should've left a little something - just to attain a bit of my womanness. No offense to anyone who prefers a truly naked vagina, but I felt it looked very juvenile.
Either way, in that experience, I learned that a wax works best for me. Good thing, too. I was getting tired of having to sneak-n-scratch.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- What You Need To Know Before Your First Brazilian Wax-SELF | SELF ›
- 10 Things You Need To Know Before Your First Brazilian or Bikini Wax ›
- The Horror Of My First (And Worst) Brazilian Wax | HuffPost ›
- 11 Bikini Wax Tips - What to Do Before Getting a Brazilian Wax ›
- What to Expect During Your First Brazilian Bikini Wax ›
- Your First Bikini or Brazilian Wax | European Wax Center ›
- What Is a Brazilian Wax Like? What to Expect (in Excruciating Detail ... ›
- Questions about Brazilian Wax ›
- Brazilian Wax Tips, Tricks, and Facts - How to Prep for First Brazilian ... ›
RELATED
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak