Mother's Day is the perfect time to bring back the "for us by us" movement. Maybe I shouldn't say "bring back," because it never really left. Black women have been doing it for the culture for quite some time. So, what better way to salute the women who birthed us?
While we uplift the special women in our lives, why not support a female, black-owned company in the process? While you're out shopping for those last-minute Mother's Day gifts, check out unique gifts to purchase from businesses owned by other Black women.
Addie Rawr Stationery Line
Baby 2 Be Card
Addie Rawr
Addie Rawr recently released a brand new stationary line and IT. IS. EVERYTHING. It was just in time to clap it up for the women in our family from our moms to the expectant mothers who will be celebrating their very first Mother's Day. How thoughtful is that? The best part is that the stationary doesn't just look amazing, it looks super personalized. It can also be paired with other items like a Goal Getter Journal, a Be Your Own Boss planner, or a Growth Journal that will remind your mom that it's never too late to go after her goals. Get into it!
Domaine Curry Wine Set
After raising us, it's safe to say our moms deserve one, or two… or four bottles of wine on us. Ayesha Curry, celebrity chef and wife to Golden State Warriors star Steph Curry, paired up with his sister Sydel to launch the Domaine Curry wine line. The blend is described as, "blended wine that mirrors [Ayesha Curry's] joie de vivre and embodies the essence of balanced flavors and palatal pleasures." If you ask me, that sounds like quite an amazing Mother's Day for any hard-working mom.
#GirlCEO Gear
Girl CEO Apparel
If you haven't gotten into Girl CEO, Mother's Day is the right day to try it. It's no secret women of color are making their own money, launching their own brands, and being their own boss. Why not celebrate your mom for the boss she is with gear from Girl CEO? It also features the cutest line for kids, so the Mommy & Me cuteness can be on fleek even more for Mother's Day. Of course, it also offers t-shirt dresses, Dad Hats, and accessories. Go for it!
The Lip Bar Drip
The Lip Bar
If your mom is into makeup, beauty and likes a little pop, an item from The Lip Bar could be perfect for her. The founder, Melissa Butler, launched the line after being upset with all of the red tape in the beauty industry. She broke barriers and released a lipstick line with unique and fun colors, from purple to blue. But of course, there are classic colors in there too like nude, which is super necessary, and red, which is the ultimate classic.
Good Night Darling Co.
Body & Room Mini Fragrance Spray
Good Night Darling Co.
What mom doesn't need a good night's sleep? From sleepless nights when we were little to keeping up the grind into our adult years, offering products to help your mom sleep in Heavenly peace is a beautiful idea for Mother's Day. Good Night Darling Co., started by Aycee Brown, features nighttime products like pillow spray, deep detox bath soak, and some sleepwear that can make Mom feel even more comfortable (not to mention an adorable "real women nap" mug. Ultimately, this gift can help any mom feel better about getting some much-needed sleep.
Posh Candle Company
Mama Needs A Break Kit
Posh Candle Co.
It's safe to say candles have been a go-to Mother's Day gift since we were little. Whether it smells like cinnamon or vanilla, mothers around the world have gasped in excitement after opening their candles year after year. Whatever scent you decide on this year, each of the candles via Posh Candle Company is 100% soy and hand-poured. Basically, they're literally handmade with care. Plus, the jars are reusable. So along with making Mom smile once again, you can help save the world. Let us dust off your cape.
Effortless Composition
India Agate Decor On Stand
Effortless Composition
Help Mom step up her home décor! Whether it's your mother, grandmother, aunt, or sister, any woman in our lives can benefit from a little home retail therapy. And Effortless Composition is the move. Its founder, Brittiny Terry, started the adorable line thanks to the influence she received from her own childhood home's décor; from a Cleopatra statue to the iconic praying hands photo. As for what Effortless Composition has to offer, the Boho chic line and unique artwork help it live up to its name.
Oye Shea Butter
Oye Shea Butter
Oye
Can you ever go wrong with skincare? Especially when it comes from a brand owned by another Black woman. In this case, it's one whose own mother influenced her to start Oye Shea Butter. Tolu Oye's mom often went to Nigeria to get nuts from shea trees. She'd use that to help treat Oye's eczema and burns. And it was a miracle worker in its own right. Now, Oye Shea Butter offers not just skincare products but also healing agents for skin, hair, and all things woman.
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Featured image by Getty Images
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Stepping Down But Not Out: Dorion Renaud On Growing Buttah And Moving On
When Dorion Renaud created Buttah in 2018, it was out of necessity. He had yet to learn that it would be as embraced by the culture as it has been.
The skincare company was created due to some of Renaud’s woes when caring for his skin. Ultimately, he wanted Black men to feel confident in their complexion after discovering that there were little to no products in the market that catered specifically to his problems of discoloration, breakouts, etc.
“I had no idea that people would even latch on to it or that it would take off,” Renaud tells xoNecole. “I didn’t know until I started hearing from people in the streets over the past couple of months when I announced that I was stepping down as CEO. So many people were telling me, ‘Thank you. We need you to keep going, and we got to do it again.’
"I understand my purpose in beauty even more now and realize that I must continue to evolve in the skincare space and keep learning what people are into. Just like clothes and other trends, I’m realizing that skincare has followed that because so many people have gotten to be here. Things are changing.”
When the former College Hill cast member kicked off Buttah in 2018, it was a passion project. Today, it is a heavy-hitter in the beauty world after securing spots on retailers' shelves, including Macy’s, HSN, Nordstrom, Ulta Beauty, and more. Now, just six years later, Renaud’s role within the company has shifted. No longer is he juggling being the founder, face of the products, day-to-day operator, and all that comes with being an entrepreneur.
“I will always be the founder of Buttah,” he explains. “I knew it was time. I’ll say the decision was probably more personal than professional, and it was the first decision in my life since I was 19 and doing television, I decided based on my personal life and not what I needed next in business. I learned so much quickly, and it was tough being the CEO of the company, the face of the company, and managing the ins and outs and day-to-day. I’ve grown so much and felt like I had done so much with Buttah, and it was just time.”
He adds, “I trust my gut. I trust God. Everything in my world started moving towards me, doing other things, expanding what I had learned with Buttah, and taking it to another place. This was an era. I also know when to walk away from the casino if you know what I’m saying, and that doesn’t necessarily just mean from a monetary standpoint.”
In the Black community, when the founder of a brand that we’ve grown to love and cherish changes ownership, terms like sellout are often used. Luckily, Renaud says that his experience has been positive. However, this does not mean that’s the norm for everyone else.
“I think it’s the lack of education around business, and that is what I aim to do in this next chapter,” Renaud explains when asked why he thinks the Black community is so skeptical of founders stepping down and selling their businesses.
“I started in a one-bedroom apartment and created Buttah in the middle of the night. I had to learn to detach emotionally from it and let it go when it was the right time for me. I think some people are in certain things for the long haul and want to go through the ups and downs with the companies. I am all for that, but it’s just a personal choice. Sometimes, when the climate changes and things change, your life changes. It’s time to step away.”
“I trust my gut. I trust God. Everything in my world started moving towards me, doing other things, expanding what I had learned with Buttah, and taking it to another place. This was an era. I also know when to walk away from the casino if you know what I’m saying, and that doesn’t necessarily just mean from a monetary standpoint.”
Renaud says he was inspired by Rihanna's resignation as CEO of her Savage X Fenty lingerie brand. As he looks ahead, Renaud’s dreams are more significant than ever. “I’m writing a book right now about rebranding yourself, starting your brand, and making money off of who you are in the right way,” he says.
“I am going to be diving back into acting. I will go back into the music and I will bring you all more innovative, amazing skincare for the rest of my life. I’ll bring products to the community as long as I'm here. I hope to be a major mogul one day and continue inspiring others, achieving all of my dreams, and living my purpose. I just want to manifest my purpose taking over for me and my community to be alright.”
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