Two years ago, I used to wake up flustered and in a panic.
"What did I miss while I was asleep," I'd wonder as I scrambled to get out of bed to get to my laptop, all while scrolling through emails on my phone.
Within minutes, I'd be responding to texts, shooting off emails, making phone calls, and updating social media before I even had the chance to hop in the shower and eat breakfast. Those minutes would turn into hours, and before I knew it, my entire day had passed by before I had an opportunity to eat, drink a few glasses of water, and find my center.
It was no wonder when I visited a holistic doctor, in 2014 after my monthly cycle went missing, that I found out I was extremely fatigued, dehydrated, malnourished, and my nervous system was on the brink of shutting down.
I knew in that moment that things had to change.
During a February 2015 text exchange I had with Sway In The Morning co-host Tracy G., we dived into the topic of morning rituals, which went something like this:
Tracy: What does a successful morning look like for you?
Me: A successful morning to me right now is waking up with a positive mindset and knowing I can do anything I put my mind to. It might sound small, but I've mentally abused myself over the past year more than any man or human ever could. A successful morning means eating two meals before noon. It's the small stuff.
My success definitely does not include giving my mornings to others and not myself first, even though I am very thankful for my job.
That was my morning for 8 years, giving it to others. Now I make sure I wake up, drink a glass of water, open my blinds, listen to an empowering podcast while cooking my breakfast, and really make sure I've found my center before I plug into what the rest of the world is doing.
I'm trying my best to have an hour to myself in the morning before having to prep for my show. Now that you've realized that it's a non-negotiable, that can help you with future decision-making. If something is going to disrupt your recharge time in the morning – is it worth it?
Absolutely not.
Two years later, I've remained pretty consistent about my morning recharge time and it has literally transformed my days and changed my life.
Here are 13 things I find myself doing upon waking up before I've even had the chance to check emails or log into my computer:
- Lay in silence for 15 minutes and visualize how I want my day to go.
- Write down my intentions for the day in my journal.
- Pray (and thank God for the many blessings He's bestowed upon me).
- Stretch (a lot of people do yoga or meditate, I'm not there yet)
- Make my bed (I've found that if I don't do this, I'll want to jump back in.)
- Drink a glass of water (you are super dehydrated upon waking up).
- Open my blinds and let the sun in. (This is actually my favorite part of my day.)
- Shower. (The steam from the shower helps get my ideas flowing.)
- Cook breakfast. (Normally, it's 3-4 eggs with a side of oatmeal and fruit.)
- Take my vitamins.
- Listen to an empowering podcast or audio book. (This can be done while making breakfast.)
- Put on feel-good music.
- Aromatherapy. (I find that when I put Peppermint oil in my diffuser, it helps energize me. Lemon awakens my senses.)
Depending on how I feel, I may do about 15 – 30 minutes of cardio to get my heart rate going in the AM.
Once I've completed most of my ritual, and fully immersed myself into my "Me" time, that's when I will log online and plug into what the world is doing.
I have noticed such a dramatic change in my life since putting these rituals in place and my friends have all pointed out the shift they've seen in my energy and overall attitude towards life since I've been doing this as well.
A lot of people may say, "Sorry, I don't have time," but making the choice to go to bed earlier, and wake up an hour or two earlier makes all of the difference.
If you put a good morning ritual that works for you in place versus the usual routine of scrambling out of bed, hopping in the shower, plugging into emails, and rushing out the door, you increase your chances of having a productive, well-balanced, and positive day.
Try it, and let me know what happens!
What's your current morning ritual?
Originally published on Necole Kane.com
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
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Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
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What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak