How The Founder Of MOODEAUX Turned Self-Worth And Fragrance Into Tools For Empowerment
When Brianna Arps, founder of the indie fragrance label MOODEAUX, was laid off from her role at a women's media publication in 2018, the loss impacted her confidence and state of mind. “As someone who had always wanted to be a writer and to be in beauty, I thought I had reached such a pinnacle, and then my world came crashing down,” she recalls.
Unsure of how the next chapter of her life would unfold, Brianna turned to the accessory in her beauty ritual that faithfully pulled her out of even the darkest moment: perfume. “There's a connection between our sense of smell and its ability to make us feel things, whether that's empowered, motivated, inspired, or like ‘that girl,’ she tells xoNecole. “When you put on your favorite scent, you just feel something.”
Each day, her favorite fragrances would serve as a daily reminder that while things were tough at the moment, she was still worth betting on. “I'm still worth giving myself a shot, and I'm not going to just lay down and die. I'm gonna get up and fight for a new reality.”
After recognizing the lack of visible, Black-owned fragrance brands in the industry, Brianna decided to merge her love of beauty with her marketing and editorial savvy to create a clean, luxury perfume label herself — and in October 2021, MOODEAUX was officially launched.
Risa Dexter
Her signature scent "Worthy" has garnered a devout following for its unique and calming notes that adorn your senses in white tea, orange blossom, lavender, vanilla, amber, and rose, complete with the earthy, raw pairing of musk.
This cozy, yet inviting fragrance has been coined “a hug in a bottle” by its customers, a title that Brianna lovingly accepts. “'Worthy' is so special because all of the notes inside the fragrance have meaning,” she says. “I designed 'Worthy' to smell and feel like a big hug to yourself. It's warm and wraps your senses in a cozy blanket, but also gives off some sex appeal. It's a sexy, warm scent.”
MOODEAUX is disrupting the fragrance industry by putting the intention and meaning back into the space. With a message that encourages its customers to “Flaunt How You Feel,” Brianna shares that MOODEAUX has become the physical manifestation of walking in one’s full power, unapologetically. “It carries the sentiments of self-expression, individualism, and not being afraid to go against the status quo, regardless of what people may say or think,” she says.
In January, MOODEAUX released its highly anticipated IntenScenual™ Fine Fragrance Collection. Blending ‘intentionality’ and ‘sensuality,’ Worthy IntenScenual™ Eau de Parfum ($98 USD) is the same scent that you’re grown to know and love, only bigger, long-lasting, and pairs perfectly with the best-selling Worthy SuperCharged SkinScent™.
“Everyone deserves something different. A sophisticated signature scent that reminds us how powerful we truly are.”
xoNecole: When I think about the name of your perfume, ‘Worthy,’ it sounds like a daily affirmation when putting on your favorite fragrance. Could you share why you chose the name ‘Worthy’ for your product?
Brianna Arps: It's kind of twofold: When I lost my job, it was really tough. I was depressed for a really long time and struggled for a really long time. The notion was in reminding myself through a daily affirmation that I'm worthy of giving myself a shot, I'm worthy of picking myself back up, I'm worthy of creating the life of my dreams, regardless of what might happen out there.
"Worthy" started out personal but it’s the notion that you are worthy of clean, luxury beauty. You are worthy of all of these things that, in pockets of the beauty industry, we don't really see. We're all about helping people flaunt how they feel, and at the very least, people need to know their worth and that they are worthy of all they desire.
"'Worthy' started out personal but it’s the notion that you are worthy of clean, luxury beauty. You are worthy of all of these things that, in pockets of the beauty industry, we don't really see. We're all about helping people flaunt how they feel, and at the very least, people need to know their worth and that they are worthy of all they desire.
Risa Dexter
xoN: You’ve been the recipient of a number of awards like the Sephora Accelerant Program and others. With funding being one of the biggest hurdles for Black founders in particular, what advice you would give to new founders who may be looking to apply for grants in the future?
BA: I started MOODEAUX and the initial stages with my savings account, I didn't have a job anymore, but I was passionate and convinced that this was something special. I really exhausted a lot of my options to get this MOODEAUX off the ground.
There is a lot of opportunity out here; it sounds so cliche, but it's so true. But with so much opportunity comes increased competition to get your name out there and be seen. The biggest piece of advice that I have is to own your story and to really understand what makes you unique. Really understand how you're going to tell not only your founder story but your brand and product story too. How you convey them to the general public and to someone who is primed to give you a big check matters.
It's not enough to talk about the product because in reality, especially in the beauty industry, everything can be reverse-engineered. So instead of leaning on the product, these people want to know who you are, what your brand is about, and how you're changing lives and building community. If you can tell that story in a compelling and unique way, you are light years ahead of others who aren't thinking that way and you have a better shot of reaping the success that you wish to see.
"I started MOODEAUX and the initial stages with my savings account, I didn't have a job anymore, but I was passionate and convinced that this was something special. The biggest piece of advice that I have is to own your story and to really understand what makes you unique. Really understand how you're going to tell not only your founder story but your brand and product story too."
Ryan Stokes
xoN: What was one of the biggest challenges you experienced while building MOODEAUX and what did you learn from it?
BA: When I first started Moodeaux, it had a totally different name called Moode Beaute. In hindsight, it makes me laugh because I hate that name now, but I was gungho about it at the time. I consider myself to be a creative person and people who are creative often dive right in with visuals, colors, and fonts but get so consumed by the creative aspect, we completely neglected the legal aspect.
When I got down to the trademarking, my lawyer was like, "I am so sorry to tell you, but someone has filed for a very similar name, two weeks before us." I was devastated. We had spent thousands of dollars on marketing, branding, and content creation that will never see the light of day because we didn't have our legal house in order first. It's something that I learned from, so now every time I have an idea, I’m looking to see if it's trademarked. I'm always taking that initial lesson and keeping it at the forefront of my mind.
xoN: In many ways, your brand is a pioneer and among the “firsts” within the fragrance industry. How are you looking to use your platform and brand to leave the door open for others looking to enter the space?
BA: There's a lot of pressure to be a ‘first’ but, if I don't empower, inspire, or convince someone to take up this type of career path, then I failed. No matter how many bottles of perfume I sell or retailers I’m in, it doesn't matter if I don't show someone who never saw this as an opportunity that is possible.
We have a service component of our brand called, Black In Fragrance, where we provide, resources, education, and support to Black women in the fragrance space. We've even provided three grants last year to Black women who have fragrance labels to help kickstart their dreams. The presence of Black entrepreneurs within the fragrance industry is growing, but there's still not enough. If there's something that I’m going to do, it’s tell somebody to pick up this career. I'm going to tell them that it's possible that they can do it and I'm going to be there for them. You're not a good first if you're the last.
xoN: What do you hope your customers will experience when they pick up a bottle of perfume from MOODEAUX?
BA: I want them to feel seen, heard, and represented. Intentionality is something that’s at the core of everything we do. We want to remind you to take up space because so often. Black women shrink themselves to fit into boxes and molds that weren't even designed for us to fit into as a survival tactic, but in reality, we don't have to. There's so much value and uniqueness that we can bring to the world when we are simply ourselves; when we simply flaunt how we feel.
That's what I want people to feel when they come across us. I don't want it to feel like an ‘It Girls Only’ club or anything like that. Whatever you identify as I want you to feel as though you have the room to take up space here.
For more of Brianna, follow her on Instagram @Briannaarps.
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Featured image courtesy of Brianna Arps
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
1 In 4 Men And Women Are Faking It—Science Explains How To Change That
It’s no secret that I can’t stand fake orgasms. There are a billion reasons why — some of which I will get into in just a moment. For now, what I will say is, even if you can rationalize that faking orgasms will “get you out of” the sex that you may be having at the moment, when it comes to long-term satisfaction and benefits, how is faking it really going to get you anywhere? At least anywhere good — which is what you totally and absolutely deserve.
And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy