We can always count on Monica for a Monday mood, and today is no different. The singer recently dropped by V-103's The Morning Culture with a word about life after loss and proved that true healing is all about perspective. While the After The Storm singer seems to be facing her share of storms this year, Monica says she brought rain boots.
Along with losing her uncle in July, the singer has been extremely candid about her highly publicized split from her ex-husband, Shannon Brown, and despite their on-going divorce, says things have been going relatively smoothly. Monica says that unlike most exes, she and her ex are able to live under the same roof because they have handled every aspect of their relationship with love, even when it came to their divorce:
"It's not messy because I didn't ask for anything. At all. Period. To each their own, no judgement for people who do. But a lot of times, when you see people fighting it out, that's what they're fighting over."
While prenups seem like an essential part of any marriage in the digital age, Monica told the hosts that she didn't need one. The mother-of-three shared that part of the reason she and her ex-husband's divorce is going over so smoothly is because money was never a motive in their marriage:
"Our relationship didn't start based upon money. He was coming off two championships, I'm coming off two number one records after 30 million records, this was not about money. This was strictly about love and life and wanting to experience a different level of love, that is the one thing we always had and have in common. Our relationship was never about stuff."
Contrary to popular belief, breakups don't always have to mean bad blood, and although Monica and her ex-husband no longer see eye-to-eye, they can still effectively co-parent because they have the same goal in mind:
"You gotta take a back seat to what your children need. School is starting. Things are happening, so who's more important here? Is it you or them? And typically, when you see people that constantly have problems, they're thinking about themselves and their own issues. I'm not saying that it's easy but I can tell you this, when it's not easy, it's not anybody's business either."
According to Monica, although this has been one of the most unexpected time periods in her life, it's also been one of the most eye opening. Along with dealing with the aftermath of filing for divorce, she also noticed that there was another relationship in her life that needed repair, and it was the one she had with herself.
"I just started doing things, like I got a massage for the first time. I've never taken time to do certain things so I'm learning that."
Monica shared that she only recognized the importance of leveling up her self-care game after experiencing the loss of her marriage and shortly after, her uncle. It was at this point Monica realized that she had been sleeping on taking time for far too long, packed up her things, and took a trip to Vegas:
"Even though you see [me on] vacations, my vacations are for my kids. So I'm planning, I'm orchestrating, I'm making sure nobody is doing anything they not supposed to be doing. So I said you know what? I'm going to do something different. I went to Vegas, I sat in the Four Seasons and did a bunch of nothing."
Monica said that although she's still never gotten a facial, after 38 years of living and 14 years in the music industry, she's finally gotten her first massage and she's looking forward to taking more time for herself in the future simply because she deserves it.
"I went to a magic show, I saw Criss Angel: Mindfreak, we went and we had massages. I just sat in a cabana for like five hours, and was like damn this is good, who knew? But you learn over time."
The Chapter 38 singer's chaotic year is proof that loss is only subjective. While she lost a close family member and a marriage, Monica also gained a new appreciation for herself. Just ask Mo, it shouldn't take divorce or death to convince you to choose you today.
Watch the full clip below!
New Monica! She's Back To Discuss Her Music, Love And Divorce With The Morning Culture!youtu.be
Featured image by Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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