Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Most relationships will fail on the surface level due to lack of intimacy, communication or trust, or even falling out of love with one another. However, thanks to Chanel Nicole Scott's relationship platform, CheMinistry, viewers are witnesses to candid conversations between guest speakers during live hosted events about the rise of healthy relationships.
Alongside unequal spiritual wellness and poor communication skills, financial dispositions can also play a factor in the success or failure of any relationship. "I love that my work has allowed me to educate others on the concept of financial literacy and the importance of this kind of discipline when you are engaging in a long-term relationship. Many relationships are about finding common ground, and much of the ground that you cover must include what your financial life and retirement plan will look like for you and your partner," Scott shared with xoNecole.
Courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott
As the founder and lead organizer behind a relationship platform that has been recognized by stars of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Black Love, and many award-winning singers and songwriters, CheMinistry has attracted a worldwide audience by providing perspective and preparing them for long-lasting, healthy relationships.
The North Carolina native organized CheMinistry to provoke intimate exchange and compelling conversation surrounding romantic relationships with the ultimate goal of bridging the gap between purpose-driven men and women who desire to progressively move their love life to the next level. CheMinistry has featured top influencers and celebrities in pop culture from R&B singer Fantasia and Destiny's Child founding member LaTavia to actresses Demetria McKinney and television personalities Erica Dixon, Drea Kelly, and Debra Antney.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the 45-year-old founder about how to better manage your money with your partner, why relationships fail due to financial instability and the importance of investing for the younger generation.
On the statistics of failed relationships due to financial instability:
"If you consider the most common disagreements in relationships, many of these disagreements are linked to money, egos, and expectations based on society's hierarchy of men versus women in the household. Financial instability creates disconnect, resentment, and even control issues between you and your partner. It is so important to be transparent about your finances AND your debts when you are pursuing a healthy relationship.
"More than 43% of marriages start off in debt. Imagine planning the wedding of your dreams, and then after you've invested all this money into a memory, you come home only to realize you're still in debt. Your issues will start that day!"
On how relationships can be saved through financial wellness and managing money with your partner:
"I would encourage individuals to educate themselves on financial literacy and position yourself to be financially independent before entering a marriage. The simplest of issues that can create a disconnect are the control mechanisms that are enforced when one partner feels they have more financial power––thus more power in the relationship. For couples who find themselves in this position, you can save your marriage simply with open communication."
Courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott
"Financial instability creates disconnect, resentment, and even control issues between you and your partner. It is so important to be transparent about your finances AND your debts when you are pursuing a healthy relationship. More than 43% of marriages start off in debt."
On how the pandemic has financially impacted couples and how to recover:
"Whew! COVID has challenged couples in so many ways, but definitely financially. Many couples usually have some small sort of disagreement about saving and spending habits, but now more than ever, couples are really having to confront some unhealthy spending habits that are overtly more unhealthy during this pandemic. Having to completely alter how your household is run or led to align with today's current economy is difficult, especially considering that so many people have lost jobs and are having to live off of one partner's income, if any income at all."
On how much she saves and if it’s in a high-yield savings account:
"I do invest money into the Money Market and CD account but with the current economic climate, the yield is very low. A CD account pretty much offers a savings account where you invest a specific amount of money with the bank and agree to let that amount sit over a specific period of time. In reward, banks will offer you a higher interest rate for your money. CD accounts are good because your money is insured by the bank and often has low-risk associations, however, if you do not have a substantial amount of money to get started with a CD account (usually an amount of money that you can afford to do without for a fixed period of time), then I would not suggest starting this account so soon."
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"I believe wealth is defined as the ability to leave a generational blessing for those who come after me. Success is the capacity to know and operate in my God-given purpose. A lot of people feel that wealth and success go hand-in-hand. I feel that success has a lot to do with personal gratification. When you have reached a space where you are generally satisfied with your place in life, most people feel successful. Wealth I feel is more of a tangible experience. It allows you to acquire certain luxuries that, usually, generations after you should be able to benefit from."
Courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott
"When you're faced with life challenges, you often find your peak of strength and creativity. You find yourself learning how to make something out of nothing, and at my lowest points, I've learned that being tested isn't a bad thing, but more so a transitional period."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"There was a point in my life where I lost everything chasing after what I believed to be my purpose, but in the midst of it all, I was able to tap into the gifts and talents that I didn't even know I possessed. I [co-wrote] a book about it Girl Powered Uncensored, a compilation of women stories [in the first chapter]. I had to reset. I literally started all over again and am re-building, but this time I have the wisdom to make better decisions about my purpose and what I was actually put here to do. When you're faced with life challenges, you often find your peak of strength and creativity. You find yourself learning how to make something out of nothing, and at my lowest points, I've learned that being tested isn't a bad thing, but more so a transitional period."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"I think my biggest splurge would be my car. I love cars, just like other people like bags and shoes, but I like those, too. My thought process behind all of my purchases is that if I work for it, then I can have it. Unlike some, I don't believe in buying anything that I don't want or settling for less, I'd rather wait until I can actually afford what I want."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I'm definitely a spender, but I save money by allocating portions of my income to be deposited into different accounts for monthly living expenses, spending accounts, and savings accounts."
On the importance of investing:
"If I could offer any advice to younger generations, it would be to start investing early or encourage your parents to set you up to invest. Ask questions early-on. Investing early makes the difference between a 15-year retirement plan and a 40-year retirement plan. When you reach your mid-20's you start wanting to really experience life, hence why you need money. By the time you're 30, you want to live for you and live unapologetically (hence you need money). By the time you are 40 plus, you want peace, stability, and financial freedom to move comfortably and take care of your family, hence you need money. Investing really prepares you for each level of desired stability."
Courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott
"Investing early makes the difference between a 15-year retirement plan and a 40-year retirement plan. When you reach your mid-20's you start wanting to really experience life, hence why you need money. By the time you're 30, you want to live for you and live unapologetically (hence you need money). By the time you are 40 plus, you want peace, stability, and financial freedom to move comfortably and take care of your family, hence you need money. Investing really prepares you for each level of desired stability."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"With the changing economy, my retirement plan is continuously evolving. Currently, I make contributions into a 401K in addition to an MMA and CD account. The current state of the economy has shown everyone, especially me, that having one plan is not enough. There are many people who were set to retire in 2020, thought they planned accordingly for retirement, and as soon as we entered this pandemic, many finance plans were challenged. Everyone's retirement plan is currently still evolving in order to prepare for the unthinkable future."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"I must have a food-spend budget. I'm a single woman with no children and I'm a foodie. Besides, I don't cook. I have a separate account that I deposit money into just for food expenses."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"In my business, we've created a stream of income through ticket sales and we also provide a vendor experience as a part of the live event. The event is fairly large so it can be quite lucrative. I've also created brand merchandise. However, with the recent changes in the economy due to COVID-19, we're still in the process of revamping 'how' we do business."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"Impulsive spending is definitely a bad habit of mine. If I see it and I want it, I buy it. Sometimes I have to talk myself off the ledge, but I think developing a clear financial picture of what your savings goals are and where you see yourself in a particular time frame helps with creating an effective financial plan. I'm still trying to make those changes, but I do spend less when I 'think' through my purchases!"
On her money mantra:
"'Give and it shall be given to you; good measure, press downed, shaken together, and running over.'"
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"I don't think it was crazy, but I did UberEats a few years back when I moved to Atlanta. I was still in the process of building my business and securing permanent employment and I needed the extra money. It did a 'doozy' to my car with the number of miles I racked up but hey you do what you've got to do."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"Spending too much money when you 'have it' or not being diligent enough in my decision-making. I would advise anyone in business when making financial decisions regarding your business to make decisions as if you had little-to-no money. Talk through all your purchases and ask as many questions as possible to make better decisions."
On her budget breakdown:
How much do you spend on rent? $1,600
Eating out/ordering in? $400
Gas/car note? $800
Personal expenses? $450
For more of Chanel, follow her on Twitter!
Featured image courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott.
RELATED
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
Courtesy
When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
Courtesy
When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
Courtesy
Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Feature image courtesy
Some folks are saying that October is now “uncuffing season” as partners won’t have to deal with the weight and expectations that come with this time of year. From matching Halloween costumes to voting to Thanksgiving and Christmas, it seems the new cuffing season has moved to January.
In August 2021, Zoë and Channing were first rumored to be romantically involved after being photographed riding together through the streets of New York City on a BMX bike. The following month, they were seen leaving the Met Gala together, and Tatum confirmed their relationship on Halloween by posting a picture of them wearing a couples costume from Martin Scorsese's iconic 1976 film Taxi Driver on Instagram.
Instagram/@channingtatum
After collaborating on Zoë's directorial debut, Blink Twice, where Channing played a starring role, their relationship blossomed into a full-out romance. Approximately a year later, the Step Up star popped the question.
Because the streets are always watching, PEOPLE reported that Channing joined Zoë in seeing a production of a play by Blink Twice costar Levon Hawke in New York City's Red Hook neighborhood on Oct. 6. Most recently, Kravitz has been seen in public without her engagement ring, notably during an outing with her Big Little Lies co-star Shailene Woodley.
So the news of the split kinda comes as a surprise as we were just oozing over the couple’s undeniable chemistry during their Blink Twice press run in August. Channing and Zoë openly discussed their relationship and collaborated on multiple videos that went viral.
Even proud papa Lenny Kravitz gave his approval. During an interview with BBC’s Radio 2, he said, "He was raised well. So, you know, he’s got manners. He’s charming. He’s a soulful human being. And so, he’s become part of the family quite quickly. He fits and they're in love. We’re going to have a wedding next year."
As we mourn this breakup, let’s run back some memorable moments from the possibly uncoupled pair.
"Art is our love language."
When asked about future collaborations with her boo during the premiere of Blink Twice on Aug. 23, Zoë shared, "I think it's what we love, and we love talking about it, and experiencing it, and supporting each other.” Channing chimed in saying, “This is what I'll say about creating with someone that you are with or love: I suggest it. If you are thinking about having a kid or if you're thinking about getting married, go find the hardest possible creative project with your partner.”
“I got you forever.”
Channing took to Instagram to share an adoring photo of him holding Zoë. He captioned the photo, “This little sweet. She So tired bro. Every time I wondered if she’d break…. She just kept going and going and going. Always on the dig for truth. She pour’d every single ounce of her into this film. I’m so proud to stand ten toes down for her, this film and everyone in it. forever. Knowing what it took to make it. No one will ever know.”
The last line took us out: “Thank you for finding me and seeing me. I got you forever. Me and you back to back against it all. I’ll never blink. Let’s go. #blinktwice”
GOAT Talk
On Complex’s GOAT Talk, a show where stars are prompted to reveal their favorites of all time, Channing and Zoë disclosed their go-to song for singing in the shower, their beloved ad-lib line from Blink Twice, and their stance on conspiracy theories and their favorite rapper. The moment Channing challenged Zoë’s answer that Catwoman is the best superhero of all time was just too cute.
“The Lie Detector determined…”
The cast of Blink Twice underwent Vanity Fair's well-known lie detector test, facing a barrage of probing questions. Among the inquiries were: Did Channing Tatum and Naomi Watts ever irritate Zoë Kravitz during the filming of Blink Twice? Did Naomi ever pilfer anything from the set? Did Channing's portrayal of Gambit in Deadpool & Wolverine surpass his personal expectations?
Best of all were the moments you saw Zoë and Channing look at each other adoringly and when they would finish each other sentences. “We are equally cool,” Zoë beamed.
Puppy Love
The pair hung out with BuzzFeed and a slew of adorable puppies while chatting about their favorite improvised moment on set, who has the best rizz — which is apparently Channing according to Zoë — and their first impressions of each other. Not only did they binge-watch Love Island together but they also boasted they would win Love Is Blind if they were on the show.
The Pressure
Zoë Kravitz recently sat down with Esquirefor an interview and got real about her thoughts on becoming a parent. She shared that she's always kinda thought motherhood might not be her thing. “For a long time, I felt like there was something wrong with me. I was waiting for this light to go off in my head, and it never did. When you’re younger, you’re like, ‘Well, I can’t have kids. I’m too young! It’d be crazy.’”
Her viewpoint on childbirth and parenthood has evolved as she has matured and witnessed the societal pressure placed on women to reproduce. While she recognizes the immense strength and courage required to carry and raise a child, Kravitz believes that women should not be made to feel obligated to do so.
Zoë continued, “For a lot of people that have children, it is this giant, life-changing event – and I do think there is a certain amount of focus and respect that they should get from their community. There’s a lot of pressure on women to have children, and there’s a feeling that if you don’t, you don’t have purpose here.” The director feels a special connection to her new movie akin to giving birth.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Dave Benett/WireImage