Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.
When I was first introduced to Ariel Adams, it was in a small cafe in Brooklyn, New York when she was interviewing me for an intern position at The Lotus Agency, the entertainment management company she incorporated shortly after graduating from the University of Miami in 2016. Though she was no more than a year and a half my senior, I knew that Ariel was more than just her blonde hair and vivacious energy. Even working as her social media intern for her artists in the brief time that I did, I always knew that Ariel had an ambition and spirit that would catapult her into success.
Adams successfully navigated through the music industry as an artist manager for three artists and generated millions of streams on Spotify, Apple Music, and YouTube for her clients. Now as a Deputy Director at an engineering and technology company by day and entrepreneur after hours, the Maryland-bred bag securer is the dynamic 25-year-old social media guru who uses her online presence to encourage financial literacy. Known as 'The Money Realtor', this Virginia-based licensed real estate agent created "From Instagram to Instant Money", an e-book that outlines how to optimize Instagram and monetize your social media following to leverage any product or service.
Courtesy of Ariel Adams
In her e-book, Ariel treats readers to an in-depth explanation and breakdown of her tested strategies to build and monetize one's social media brand. In no more than 30 days, the 37-paged guidebook generated $40,000 in revenue through social media sales alone. Her business-related Instagram account, which focuses on real estate, investing, and personal finance tips, was the catalyst of success of "From Instagram to Instant Money".
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with Ariel about having a blessed financial support system, advocating for financial literacy and the importance of paying yourself first.
On how much she makes in a year and how much she saves:
"I make six figures at my 9-5 and supplemental income with my digital products business. I average $30,000 a month from my digital product sales alone. I save 25% of my income each month. I invest 15% of that into the stock market and 10% between a high-yield savings account and 401(k)."
Courtesy of Ariel Adams
"I average $30,000 a month from my digital product sales alone. I save 25% of my income each month. I invest 15% of that into the stock market and 10% between a high-yield savings account and 401(k)."
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"I define wealth as financial freedom. To me, when you are no longer stressed over money and are living comfortably, you are wealthy. You more than likely have multiple sources of income, you don't rely on one paycheck, and own cash flowing assets. Your money makes money.
"I define success as being proud of oneself. Are you happy with your career? Are you proud of your inner circle? Do you have a well-rounded life full of joy? Do you have time for yourself and do you get to do what you want? If you answered yes, you're successful. It's not about notoriety, it's about self-validation."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"There was a point I was completely dependent on my parents after my first business didn't make enough cash for me to have a living. I studied entrepreneurship in college, so the first thing I did upon graduation was incorporate a business. I was entrenched in the music industry where I managed three independent artists. It had its moments of success, but the pay was inconsistent. There was a point it couldn't run itself and therefore I had to reevaluate myself financially. I didn't feel low per se, but I felt like I failed. I decided to apply for a career that offered consistent pay. My current job is flexible, so I am still able to work on my own businesses while being employed. Now I have multiple sources of income; it was a great decision."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"I bought a BMW X6 for my birthday! I hit $45,000 in digital product sales and used some of that money for the down payment. I bought it because my other car was seven years old, it was time for something new and current. I also felt like I deserved it!"
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I am both. I make sure to follow the 50/30/20 rule. This rule says to allocate 50% of your income to needs (bills, food, rent, etc.), 30% to wants (dining out, clothes, entertainment, etc.), and 20% to savings. I tweaked it a bit as I allocate 25% of my income into savings and more than half of that gets invested. So, as I make sure to stack my stock market portfolio and 401(k), I also make sure to have fun and spend my money because I budget for it!"
Courtesy of Ariel Adams
"I make sure to follow the 50/30/20 rule. This rule says to allocate 50% of your income to needs (bills, food, rent, etc.), 30% to wants (dining out, clothes, entertainment, etc.), and 20% to savings. I tweaked it a bit as I allocate 25% of my income into savings and more than half of that gets invested."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"I'm currently saving up for my first home. I'm aiming to have a 10% down payment. I am also contributing to my retirement. I'd like to have an early retirement. Retirement to me looks like having the ability to travel whenever and wherever I please in luxury!"
On the importance of investing:
"Investing is extremely important to me. I advocate for financial literacy and investing is something I always preach. According to Forbes, only 36% of African-Americans participated in the stock market, and this includes retirement accounts. I think it's so important that we educate our community and learn how to multiply our money! I currently invest through Robinhood in blue-chip companies (Microsoft, Apple, Nike, etc.)."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"As mentioned, I follow the 50/30/20 rule. It's been a lifesaver. I budget my income accordingly and make sure I pay myself first. Paying myself first just means putting money into my savings and investing the instant I get a paycheck."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"I'm involved with multiple businesses, so I have multiple streams of income. I have my 9-5 salary, digital product sales, real estate commission, freelance income (graphic design, content creation, and consulting), affiliate marketing money (where I get a percentage of other people's products I sell), stock market dividends, and royalties (from musicians I still help out). I read somewhere that the average millionaire has 7 streams of income. At the beginning of 2020, I wrote down my goal of having more streams. I started off with just my job and royalties. I became a real estate agent to earn extra cash, invested more into the stock market, and launched my digital products."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"One unhealthy habit I had was not tracking where my money was. I didn't budget, I barely checked my bank account, I didn't have automatic deposits into my savings – I had to establish all of those things. Once I came up with a system and studied different financial rules of thumb, I calculated what I needed to do in order to multiply my money. I set up automatic transfers into my high yield savings account and Robinhood investment account. Making it automatic made it easy. My money grew tremendously. I've never been as financially responsible as I am now."
Courtesy of Ariel Adams
"I didn't budget, I barely checked my bank account, I didn't have automatic deposits into my savings – I had to establish all of those things. Once I came up with a system and studied different financial rules of thumb, I calculated what I needed to do in order to multiply my money. I set up automatic transfers into my high yield savings account and Robinhood investment account. Making it automatic made it easy."
On her money mantra:
"Pay yourself first. If you change your mindset from 'I can't afford this' to 'How can I afford this?', it'll motivate you to find the possibilities of earning and obtaining what you want. There is an abundance of money in this world and you can get your piece."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"When I was a music manager, I paid for an artists' opening slot for a tour. It was $10,000, everything I had. The headlining artist canceled the 23-city tour two days before the start. I never got my money back and I've been in the litigation process for the past two years since the incident. I learned to 1) only invest my own money into myself, 2) don't bank your entire net worth on one thing (that's just gambling), and 3) establish contracts that a lawyer should draft."
On her budget breakdown:
Courtesy of Ariel Adams
How much do you spend on rent? "$3,150."
Eating out/ordering in? "$70/week."
Gas/car note? "$1150 for my car note. I haven't filled up the tank yet since it's a new car! 23 MPG and it takes premium, so I'd estimate $50-$60. I work from home a lot so my gas doesn't need to be filled up so often."
Personal expenses? "Monthly massages, $80 per month. Nails, $70 every two to three weeks. $10 eyebrow threading every two weeks, and $50-$150 every so often for clothes shopping."
For more of Ariel, follow her on Instagram/@themoneyrealtor.
Featured image by Instagram/@themoneyrealtor.
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images