Ever wonder who is the brain behind the most epic Hollywood parties? Or who is the creative genius that comes up with such unique ideas and concepts for the most talked about events in town? Well, if you've ever attended a Kanye West, Mary J. Blige, or Common party, you might have experienced the work of these two trailblazing sisters.
Miatta David Johnson and Massah David are the founders of creative agency MVDInc. The agency is an innovative branding company that focuses on strategic marketing/planning for a number of Hollywood's biggest names. Founded in 2002, these sisters have been busy working with a roster of A-list celebrities and Fortune 500 companies to help manifest their vision and create memorable experiences for all who attend. While these ladies have created a number of impressive events within their career over the last 15 years, what's most impressive, is their journey to success.
Miatta and Massah are originally Liberian refugees.
In 1980, there was a coup in their home country, that changed the lives of these sisters as they knew it. Their father was elected mayor of Monrovia, Liberia and their great uncle was the President of Liberia. The coup overtook the government, resulting in the murder of their uncle and the imprisonment of their father. Their father was then placed in a camp for approximately 18 months, as their mother worked vigorously to have him released. Once he was finally released, the family sought political asylum in the U.S but the entire family would not be granted simultaneously. Miatta alongside her two brothers and father came first, while her mother and Massah would arrive a couple years later.
The family was eventually reunited and neither their struggles or hardships shook their desire to succeed. Once in the U.S, they resided in Maryland, and Miatta and Massah went on to obtain degrees from top universities, Howard University and NYU respectively.
The first of many successes, the sisters then took their talents to NYC where Miatta worked on Wall Street and Massah worked in music management. Both careers were short lived when the sisters realized their real passion for entertainment and marketing, and then birthed their vision of MVDInc. And the rest is history.
Miatta and Massah chatted with xoNecole about being refugees, creating MVD Inc, and the most important lessons they've learned about entrepreneurship.
I know you two are originally from Liberia, what was it like having to leave your country?
Miatta: Our life changed forever after the coup in Liberia. We left behind everything we had. Our parents had to start all over. It was disruptive to say the least.
"Our life changed forever. We left behind everything we had."
Massah: I was very young when we left, so I honestly don't remember much. I look forward to going back and spending some much needed time there.
How has that experience affected you today?
Miatta: Witnessing the sheer drive and resilience to provide a full life for a family of six is not lost on us. It helped to define and mold us into the people we are today.
Massah: Based off of the stories that I've heard growing up, it makes me grateful to be alive and reminds me that I'm not here by mistake. It drives me to walk in purpose and live my best life.
Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times
What led you two in creating MVD Inc? Take me back to where it all began and getting your very first client.
Miatta: MVD Inc was created to fill a void in how our stories are told. I wanted our firm to be known for tapping into the untold narrative and presenting it in a non-traditional way. Prior to MVD Inc, I worked as a financial reporter for Dow Jones. I began to lose my love for economic reporting and the emerging markets, my interest slowly shifted to my love of music. I was working for free as a publicist for a few friends in the music business while still at Dow Jones. After juggling both roles, I realized that I loved what I was doing for free more than my day job. Friends of ours encouraged me to pursue Music PR full-time. So I took a leap of faith, quit my job, and used my 401k to start the business. Those friends were Barkue Tubman and Blue Williams, who managed Outkast at the time. After watching me hustle to get them placements at no charge for a year, they decided to give us a shot and become our first client.
"MVD Inc was created to fill a void in how our stories are told."
Massah: I was working my way through the ranks in the music business, from intern to assistant to eventually an executive. So I would moonlight on the side with Miatta coming up with the vision for MVD Inc, the creative and marketing, etc while working at an independent label. Because I'm non-traditional in my approach to work, I yearned for the room to grow, be my own boss, and work on projects I was truly passionate about. So I left the label and dedicated all of [my] time to helping mold and grow MVD's event experiences.
What is the overall motive of MVD Inc?
Massah: The motive of MVD Inc is to make sure that we are represented in rooms and conversations we may typically not be invited to.
Miatta: We really want to change the view of what not just women but black women can accomplish.
What has being entrepreneurs taught you about yourself?
Massah: Being an entrepreneur has taught me that only you can place limits on what you can accomplish. It's reaffirmed for me that there is no one path to success, you pave your way as you see fit, and you don't have to conform to do so.
Miatta: Being an entrepreneur taught [me] that I'm stronger than I realize. I am not a fan of change but I've learned to become more open to pivoting and remaining laser focused on the bigger picture. The route may not be how you imagined but when your gut is your compass it never takes you off course.
How has it been working side by side with your sister on this journey?
Massah: Working side by side was challenging at first, because I wanted to make sure that my voice was heard and respected despite being the younger sibling. We both have our strengths. [For example] Miatta is left brain and I'm right, but you need to utilize both in order to function and thrive. So, it took a while for us to come to an understanding that at MVD we are sisters but partners first. It also helps that we truly have a love and respect for one another. That's rare to find in business.
Being black women in Hollywood with your own creative agency doesn't sound easy, what struggles did you two face or continue to face?
Miatta: It's not easy. Many of the struggles begin with the fact that we are in a male-dominated industry coupled with the fact that we are two black women. Often times people that may not be familiar with your work automatically have a preconceived notion of your capabilities and reach. So much of it is dispelling those notions and letting the work speak for itself.
For young women looking to step into this industry, what advice would you give them?
Miatta: Perfect your craft, learn and understand the business you are looking to pursue, and always trust your gut.
Massah: Remain true to who you are. Get hands-on experience because there is no better teacher.
You two are such a positive representation for women everywhere with all you have accomplished on your own, when it's all said and done, what do you want your legacy to be?
Massah: I would really want to continue our family's legacy of firsts. Our father was the first elected Mayor of Monrovia, our brother is the first black man and openly gay man to serve as chief counsel to the governor of New York. So needless to say we have very big shoes to fill (laughs).
Miatta: What she said (laughs)
To keep up with these trailblazing sisters, be sure to check out their website www.MVDinc.us and follow them at @Miattajohnson & @Massahdavid.
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And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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