If you haven't heard of Megan Thee Stallion, it's time to grab some stirrups and hop on the bandwagon before it's too late, because judging from the internet's reaction to her new album, Fever, it's gonna be a long ride and a hot summer for this sex-positive female rapper.
Megan Pete began writing raps at the age of 14 and ultimately went viral after participating in a cypher at her former HBCU, Prairie View A&M. Although at the time, Meagan was studying to earn a degree in Health Administration, God had other plans.
By 2016, the H-Tine hottie had expanded her fanbase and signed her first record deal, but it wasn't until 2019 when she re-released her slept-on hit 2018 single, "Big Ole Freak", that the world finally started to realize that the now 24-year-old lyricist would be a force to be reckoned with.
Since then, Megan has earned widespread acclaim from industry legends like Drake, Trina, and Juicy J., and her new album has now made it to the No. 3 spot on the iTunes hip/hop rap albums chart, and the top 10 in all genres. From the looks of it, this big ole freak isn't letting up on her hustle anytime soon and in honor of her first major debut album, here are a few fast facts you should know about Megan Thee Stallion.
Big Ole H-Tine Hottie
Houston, are y'all putting something in the water? Because with hotties like Beyoncé and Meagan coming out of the city and taking over the industry, I might just have to make a move.
Megan Thee Stallion was born and raised in Houston, Texas. Her alternate alias, Tina Snow, was derived from late Southern rap legend and fellow Houston native, Pimp C, who called himself Tony Snow, and she puts on for her city every chance she gets. Last night for her album release, she took Fever back to her hometown and set the city on fire. The rapper turned a local club into the "Hottie Ranch", complete with a white horse and a stallion on top.
She Get It From Her Mama
Megan's mom, Holly Thomas, died from a brain tumor only a month before her album release and was also a hardcore rapper who went by the name Holly-Wood. Instead of taking a young Megan to daycare, Holly would bring Megan to her recording sessions and the would-be rapper fell in love with the craft. She told ESSENCE:
"I knew I wanted to be a rapper when I was, like, 5. My mom was a rapper. I would go to the studio with her, and that definitely showed me I can do this, I wanna do this. I remember my first time ever listening to rappers like Pimp C and Biggie, and being like, 'All this would sound super cool if a girl was saying it,' so I gotta go do this."
Late and early mornings in the studio with her mom ultimately inspired Megan to start writing her own raps at 14. Although Holly initially felt that Megan's writing was a little too suggestive, she eventually saw that the young lyricist had genuine talent. When Megan launched own music career, her mom was by her side every step of the way, acting as both her manager and her BFF until she passed. The rapper told Billboard that she copes with her mom's death through prayer.
"I definitely have to pray and spend a lot of time by myself when I can. Sometimes, when you're doing too much, things get overwhelming. So I just have to calm myself down and think, 'What would my mama want me to do?'"
Schoolgirl Meg
Megan is adamant about the power of education in her raps and was actually discovered at an HBCU. After taking a break from school to pursue her music career, Megan returned to pursue her degree and is currently a junior at Texas Southern University where she's continuing her education in health administration. She toldRefinery29:
"I went through too much with school to just go ahead and forget it because I got this deal. No. It's been too long to just drop out now."
Inspired by her mother's untimely death as a result of brain cancer, Megan has plans to one day open up assisted-living facilities in her hometown. She explained:
"I really want to open up some assisted-living facilities in Houston. So when I get done with college and everything, I'll have… made so much money from my music, I will be able to pay for what I really wanna open up,"
A Stallion IRL
To every woman who has ever felt uncomfortable for being tall, thick, and eye-catching, Hot Girl Meg is here to remind the world that being a sexy Amazonian princess has always been a thing.
Standing 5'10'' with all curves and no breaks, Megan The Stallion is a big fine woman in real life who doesn't care if rocking a pair of heels intimidates you.
During a since-deleted video with DJ Smallz, Megan was asked if she's "always had this body" and the internet clapped back in a major way. Although many felt that his question was inappropriate and totally out of line, Megan doesn't sweat the small sh*t. She said:
"I'm a pretty open person, and very little can embarrass me. So him asking me about my body is not something that is a surprise. It's been happening all my life. I've been like this, like, forever."
"I didn't get offended. Like, if the whole interview was that, I would've been like, 'I'm getting out of here,' you know? But I wasn't offended. I don't let stuff like that get to me."
She's All About Sex (Positive) Talk
Thanks to social media, Megan has been able to use her platform to promote positivity. Whether it comes to your body, sexuality, or even how you react to others, the rapper has been intentional about changing the narrative when it comes to women's bodies and their sexualities. Hot Girl Meg is on a mission to grab the rap industry by the balls and remind men that, despite the misogynistic political overtones that exist in this country, women can be sex-positive and still have full agencies over their bodies.
Ultimately, Megan's goal is to encourage women to do whatever TF they want to do. Whether that comes to your body, sexuality, career, or lifestyle choices, Megan encourages every woman to fully realize the hottie inside of them and live their best lives.
"Like, [I'm] not gonna say, 'Get out here and do everything I'm talking about.' But you get the message of the songs: Be confident; don't let a man try to run your life. You run his life. Do you know what I'm saying? Just be free; that's just really what I like to support. Get your degree if you want to. I'm not saying you got to, but I'm just saying, like, it'd be a good idea to do that."
No Rap Beef
If you're ever waiting on some petty rap beef to emerge between Megan and another female rapper, keep waiting. It won't happen. In an interview, she explained that although women are competitive by nature, she wants to set an example for other women that there's room at the top for all of us.
"I feel like since, like, forever, it has only been, like, one female rapper at a time. And naturally, women are competitive. So I feel like, without beef, hip-hop probably wouldn't even be what it is, so it's good to have, like, a little friendly competition here and there. I feel like eventually, we'll all realize that we're not trying to cross into each other's lane. Just because we might be rapping about some of the same things, we're not doing it in the same way. There's enough room for all of us to eat. So as soon as we can get that together, then we'll be all right."
You can check out Megan's new album on Spotify and iTunes!
Featured image by Giphy
- Megan Thee Stallion - Wikipedia ›
- Megan Thee Stallion & the Art of Confidence - DJBooth ›
- Megan Thee Stallion Reveals Her Mother Died From A 'Brain Tumor ... ›
- The Thrill of Megan Thee Stallion's Real-Time Rise | Pitchfork ›
- Megan Thee Stallion's 'Fever': A Scintillating Debut - The Atlantic ›
- Megan Thee Stallion: Why The 'Tina Snow' Rapper Is Blowing Up ›
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
GiphyWhenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
GiphyAs I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
GiphyIt’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
GiphyDuring the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
____
Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
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Featured image by Giphy