I don't know about y'all, but whenever Golden Globes and Oscar nominations come out, more times than not, I'm rolling my eyes. As a self-professed movie buff who fully enjoys the art of acting and filmmaking, sometimes I am utterly baffled by who gets a nod and, more importantly, who doesn't. But in order to stay focused on what this article is really about, I'll avoid the rabbit hole of getting into the politics of award shows and how, so very often, many artists get overlooked. Instead, let me first say "big ups" to Ms. Cynthia Erivo's Best Actress nomination for her portrayal of Harriet Tubman in Harriet, along with co-writing and performing the song "Stand Up" in the film (something that could gain her the much coveted EGOT title if she wins). That's dope. Truly. And then let me get to what made me smile, big time, as I scanned the nominations list. Matthew A. Cherry.
Just 48 hours ago, this is what he tweeted.
Then yesterday...this.
(Fun fact: Issa Rae plays Zuri's mom in the film. Ah, the circle of life!) Man, you would think this guy was my little brother (he's only 38), first cousin or somebody I sat at the lunch table with in grade school every day, if you went by how excited I was to hear the news of his Oscar nod! Honestly, I think a part of the reason is because, back when I used to run a friend of mine's business connect Twitter, I followed Matthew and engaged with him some. When it comes to pop culture and slick jabs, he's hilarious. He also comments back quite a bit. Although I'm getting ahead of myself, I've got some proof of that. A little over a month ago, my godchildren's mom wrote him about how much his now Oscar-nominated animated short film Hair Love resonated with her. And, true to fashion, he replied.
There's a Scripture that says, "By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life." (Proverbs 22:4—NKJV) Matthew's apparent display of humility alone is enough to make this nomination make total sense. But there are a few other reasons why I am absolutely thrilled to publicly acknowledge what he and his film have accomplished.
'Hair Love' Is Beyond Sweet—and Very Necessary
If, for some reason, you've never seen Hair Love before, take out a moment to check it out right now (right here). Even though it's an animated short, I still won't give the storyline away. What I will say is that, when I first checked it out, one of the first things that came to mind was the cute animated character on Sesame Street who used to say, on repeat, "A loaf of bread…a container of milk…and a stick of butter" while running an errand for her mother. Why does that little girl still stand out to me? She had a beautiful deep chocolate skin tone. She also had a natural. And she loved herself. Fast forward to all these years later and that's what immediately came to mind when I first looked at Zuri—also chocolate, also rockin' a natural and also loving herself. Not to mention her having two parents who loved her and each other too (yes!).
Being that Hair Love is animated, it's something that all ages can immediately connect with; that was a brilliant move on Matthew's part. Yet there are so many subtle messages that I really appreciate too.
Again, without giving too much away—there's a little girl who struggles to style her hair but never once complains about its amazing texture. There's a father who adores his daughter and has a natural style too. And, there's a mom who is attentive enough to know that both dad and daughter need help—not because natural hair is "difficult" but because mastering any art form requires knowledge, technique and patience.
Hair Love reminds us all that Black love comes in so many forms and is to be recognized, honored and celebrated. By us, most of all. That is what will make this film timeless. A classic well beyond this year and its well-deserved Oscar praise.
Matthew Is a True Creative. That Deserves Nothing but Respect.
The cool thing about filmmakers, writers and directors is, oftentimes, you "see" them without even really knowing it. If you've ever watched the movie The Last Fall (Lance Gross, Nicole Beharie), Matthew both wrote and directed that (if you haven't, it's pretty good, by the way). Michelle Williams's music video "Believe in Me" and "Say Yes" (featuring Beyoncé and Kelly Rowland), he directed those too. If Chloe X Halle's song "Warrior" is your jam, he also directed that video (you can check out more of what he's accomplished, thus far, via his website). But I really started checkin' for him right when he was ready to put Hair Love out into the Universe.
I remember back when Matthew was raising money for his animated short film. It was a Kickstarter campaign a few years ago. One of the things that stood out to me in his campaign's presentation, was this oh-so-very-relevant point that he wrote for it—"This story was born out of seeing a lack of representation in mainstream animated projects, and also wanting to promote hair love amongst young men and women of color. It is our hope that this project will inspire."
Inspire. That's the signature trait of a true creative; they are able to inspire others.
When someone is able to use their own creativity and ingenuity to influence and invigorate others to ultimately do the same for someone else, that's when you know, without a doubt, that they are operating in their gifts and soaring in their God-given lane.
Last I checked, Hair Love has gotten a whopping close-to-11 million views on YouTube alone. But again, if you haven't yet checked it out, devote seven minutes or so of your life. I'd be shocked if it didn't make you smile, reflect and, if like my godchildren's mom, you can personally relate, even shed a tear or two. I'd be floored if it didn't straight up inspire you.
Inspire you to either start or finish a project.
Inspire you to seek out someone who's willing to invest in your dream.
Inspire you to attempt something—even if you don't have all of the answers…or resources.
Inspire you to trust that your idea, your talent and your passion are enough.
Inspire you to take a risk, keeping in mind that, like Matthew has just proven…risks oftentimes come with great rewards.
Matthew A. Cherry, I've also noticed that you're an NFL alum. It really is amazing how paths can shift but all for the better, isn't it? Black king, please know that every member of the xoTribe salutes you today and couldn't be more proud. There is a profound respect that we have for you showin' us all some "hair love". Embrace all that is coming. You deserve it.
Now excuse me while I go and rub a little Chebe butter on my hair, pick it out and grin. Just like I'm sure little Zuri—and her parents—are doing right at this very moment. In Matthew's honor.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
This Is Why Your Natural Hair Ain't Growin'
10 Natural Hair Products To Add To Your Routine
One But Not Equal: Natural Hair Is Not The Same
Wake-Up Call: Here's How To Make Your Dreams A Reality
Feature image by Kickstarter
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Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
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TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
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GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
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CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
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LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
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VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
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LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
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ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
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SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
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CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
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AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
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PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
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You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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Have mercy. Now, I will give each of you a moment to read that over again because, I think that if you didn’t catch what she was conveying the first time, you will on the second go-around. Clearly, her husband could stand to take it up a few notches in the foreplay department (and/or she needed to get her hormone levels checked — I presented both options) because she wasn’t receiving enough arousal fluid during sex, although she did produce what seemed to be enough vaginal discharge and lubrication the rest of the time — and no, those aren’t the same things. What’s wild is a lot of people don’t know that.
Yep, believe it or not, although your vagina is a warm and wet place, what can cause it to have the moisture that it does is a variety of things. Today, let’s dive into what those are so that you can know what to pay close attention to, should there ever happen to be a…shift in hydration.
What Is Vaginal Discharge?
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If your mom or grandma ever told you that you don’t need to douche because your vagina is “self-cleaning,” what she was basically saying is you don’t need help to remove the old cells and unnecessary bacteria that’s down there because that’s what your vaginal discharge is naturally created to do. If you’re curious about where vaginal discharge originates from, it’s actually not just one spot; fluids that come from your uterus, cervix, and vagina all help to make up vaginal discharge which, when healthy, can range from being clear to being off-white in color.
When it comes to how much vaginal discharge you should be experiencing on a daily basis, a lot of what speaks to the time of the month that you are in (as it relates to your cycle). For instance, if you are ovulating or pregnant, it’s natural to see an uptick in how much discharge your body produces.
However, the times when you should have some sort of cause for concern is if your discharge is a different color (like yellow, gray, green, or brown) and/or the texture is different (like if it’s thick like cottage cheese) and/or it smells strong or fishy and/or you have some itchiness, irritation or burning as far as your discharge goes.
If any of these are the case, you are probably dealing with an increased level of discharge because your body is trying to fight off some type of infection. What that means is you should make an appointment with your doctor, so that they can give you a proper diagnosis. As far as how much discharge is considered to be “normal,” although that somewhat varies per individual, on average, you shouldn’t expect more than one-half to one full teaspoon of vaginal discharge on a daily basis.
What Is Arousal Fluid?
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Okay, so here’s the thing about your vagina being wet — even if you aren’t sexually aroused, it will have moisture in it. That is by design because your vaginal walls and cervix create a fluid that helps to keep that part of your body lubricated so that you can remain comfortable and your vagina doesn’t experience any tearing or injury. Keeping that in mind, when you do become sexually stimulated and blood flow increases to your genital region, something that transpires is your vagina walls will produce a particular type of wetness (via your Skene’s glands) — and that is oftentimes referred to as arousal fluid.
Something that’s worth noting about arousal fluid is it typically only shows up when you’re aroused and, as far as its texture goes, it’s usually clear, slippery, and kind of mucus-like. It should also go on record that the more “into the moment” you are, the more arousal fluid your body will probably produce. This is a good thing because it helps to make sex more pleasurable by reducing the amount of friction that you could potentially feel during intercourse.
While we’re on the topic of this one, you might be wondering if, when it comes to squirting, what women are releasing is an abundance of arousal fluid. Eh. Although this is probably going to be a debate until each and every cow comes home, what many science experts say is while there is some vaginal lubrication and arousal fluid that are present during squirting, an involuntary release of urine is transpiring too (check it out here, here and here). Do with that what you will, chile.
What Is Cervical Mucus?
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It was around this time last year that I penned a piece for the platform entitled, “Ladies, This Is How To Keep Your Cervix Super Healthy.” I thought it was a topic that should be addressed because, although the cervix doesn’t typically get discussed a lot (definitely not as much as the vagina does), that doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve its props. As the part of the body that is the base of your uterus, your cervix is what your menstrual blood flows out of, it’s the “exit sign” that babies follow when you’re giving birth — and it creates a type of mucus that makes it easier for you to get pregnant.
As far as your cervical mucus goes, it is a fluid that your cervix produces that does two main things. The first is to, yes, make it easier for sperm to travel in order to impregnate you during your time of ovulation. The rest of the month, though, cervical mucus serves as a protective barrier, so that unnecessary fluids do not enter into your cervix.
That said, something that’s important to keep in mind about cervical mucus is its texture changes throughout the month. For instance, right after your cycle ends, it might be a bit sticky; around day seven, it might become like thinned-out yogurt; as you’re ovulating, it will be stretchy and slippery (sort of like egg whites), and then, as your cycle approaches, your cervical mucus will probably be dry.
Aside from your cycle, other things that can shift the texture of your cervical mucus include certain medications, vaginal infections, stress, birth control, and breastfeeding. And how can you know that something is a bit “off” when it comes to your cervical mucus? It shouldn’t have an odor, or a dark color and it shouldn’t be itchy or irritating. If it is any of this, see your physician.
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This is one of those articles that I really wish that high school-level science class did a better job at breaking down because, the more that we know about our vaginas, the better we can be at taking care of them.
As for the wife who I mentioned in the intro — oh, we got that spit thing worked out. Chile, there are way too many fluids going on down there — CLEARLY — to have to rely on that. Just sayin’.
Anyway, the more you know. The more that you freakin’ know.
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