Mary J. Blige’s Transparency Is Starting Conversation Around Preventive Care
Many people love October for the new fall fashion fits, changing weather, and never-ending horror movies. And while all of those are valid reasons, there's another one that should be added to the mix, the fact that it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Like many, cancer has impacted my family personally, and I'm well aware of the forever effect it can have on individuals, loved ones, and survivors. That's why I appreciate that this month serves as a personal reminder to donate, foster community, and volunteer toward a fight that affects so many of us.
Recently, actress and Grammy-award-winning singer Mary J. Blige appeared on a women's panel entitled, "Screening the System: A Dialogue on Bias and Breast Health'' and passionately shared her conviction for prevention and education around the disease. During the conversation, the Power Book II: Ghost actress admitted that she wasn't aware of the importance of mammograms until it was time for her to get screened.
"I found out about it at the GYN. They don't discuss this when we're children. They don't say, 'Go get a mammogram.' You learn about this as you get older. So they don't speak about it, and that's why they end up in the hospital with two weeks to live, and now you know about it."
While scrolling online I noticed a few people criticizing Mary J., saying she should've known to do this earlier. But to me, it's like, how? If it wasn't discussed, who would make that decision voluntarily? Nonetheless, the comments did make me think if we don't know the actions to take toward prevention, how can we work toward fixing the problem?
So, below I've listed a few diseases that disproportionately affect Black people and women and a measure we can take toward prevention. I challenge you to have a conversation with your homegirls, parents, or even a bae and ask if they've had all the necessary checks. Because, hey, if we know better, we do better, right?
Mammograms, Breast Cancer (40)
According to statistics, "About 1 in 8 women will develop breast cancer throughout her life." And Black women are 40% more likely than white women to die from breast cancer. One of the best preventive care methods is mammograms. Women should start getting them at the age of 40.
Mary J. Blige reflected on the importance of preventive care stating, "My health is my wealth. My health is my beauty. Beauty is healing from the inside out."
Pap Smears, Cervical Cancer (30)
Although cervical cancer rates in the US have decreased, in January 2021, the American Cancer Society estimated that over 4,000 deaths a year will come from the disease. One of the best preventive methods is to get regular pap smears. Although you can get tested earlier, at age 30, women must ask to also be tested for HPV.
Colonoscopy, Colon Cancer (45)
I know getting a colonoscopy isn't at the top of everyone's favorite thing to-do list. But according to the CDC, it is the second leading cause of cancer deaths, and screenings should start at age 45.
A1C Tests, Diabetes (45)
Now, these numbers surprised me. The American Diabetes Association states that almost one-third of the country's population is affected by diabetes. And the risk of diabetes is 77% higher among African-Americans than Caucasians. With these alarming rates, it's best to be safe and get a blood sugar test every three years starting at 45, even if you are non-symptomatic.
Featured image by Kevin Mazur/MG21/Getty Images For The Met Museum/Vogue
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
One of my goals for 2025 is to take better care of my body. Whether it’s making movement a daily practice, eating more vegetables and protein, or making rest a priority. Within that goal is to also reduce the toxic chemicals I put in and on my body.
A few weeks ago, I was perusing YouTube and stumbled across a video from the Diary of a CEO podcast titled “No.1 Toxicologist: These Products Were Making Me Infertile And Are Harming Your Future Kids!”
It stopped me dead in my tracks because I want kids, so of course, I would like to know if I were using any of these products and if there were solutions.
Now, before I continue, I’m not trying to be a fearmonger, but I do think it’s important to know if you’re unintentionally doing something that can have a negative impact on your health.
In the interview, toxicologist Dr. Yvonne Burkart talked about everything from plastics being harmful to avoiding fragrances and how a lot of products pose potential health risks like cancer and infertility.
Many of our everyday products, like plastic containers, makeup, and non-stick cookware, are laced with phthalates, bisphenol (BPA), and PFAS chemicals, which are endocrine disruptors.
“In the human body, we have eight endocrine glands. So they’re little centers in our bodies, and they secrete hormones, and these hormones regulate pretty much everything that you can think of,” Dr. Burkart explained. From sleep, wake, digestion to how well your brain works, cognition to metabolism, to how quickly you can burn calories.
“How much fat you deposit, how much fat you can lose, and also your fertility, if you’re able to have children, someday. So endocrine disruptors are coming in, and they’re basically disrupting just as the name indicates. They’re throwing the balance off. They’re messing up the signaling. They’re causing everything to go haywire in our bodies.”
Black women especially have a higher risk of endocrine disruptors. Harvard Health reported that haircare products sold in mostly Black, low-income neighborhoods have more toxic chemicals than in white, affluent neighborhoods.
“I think the vast majority of people are entirely unaware of this and studies show it because there are studies showing that the earlier you start using cosmetic products, the higher your chance of coming down with breast cancer,” she said.
“And the people who had the highest prevalence were African American females. So I think it’s a combination of the fact that there is some level of racism, environmental injustice, but also a cultural and societal preference for certain products.” She even suggested that some of the creators of Black-owned companies may not even be aware of the health risks. While the government is slow with updating regulations and clean beauty is still far and few between, it’s up to us to make these changes.
Below is a list of four common products with toxins and what you can do to lessen risks when using them.
Scented Candles
Anna Efetova/ Getty Images
It’s popular to use scented candles, air fresheners, and incense to make your home smell good, but it can also make your home toxic. According to the National Library of Medicine, scented candles (with paraffin wax), for example, have carcinogens such as formaldehyde that, when lit indoors release harmful gasses. These gasses can cause respiratory issues, headaches, throat irritation, and overall, indoor pollution.
Dr. Burkart suggested that it’s also best to avoid soy blend candles as it can also have paraffin wax.
What you can do: If you want to use scented candles, it’s best to use ones that are made from beeswax, essential oils, and have wooden or cotton wicks as regular wicks can contain lead.
Plastic Containers
Our society has become so dependent on plastics. We drink out of plastic bottles, we store food in plastic containers, and we even heat food with plastic on top.
The Geneva Environment Network reported that “the toxic chemical additives and pollutants found in plastics threaten human health on a global scale. Scientifically-proven health effects include causing cancer or changing hormone activity (known as endocrine disruption), which can lead to reproductive, growth, and cognitive impairment.”
Dr. Burkart took it step further by revealing that microwaving plastic containers are worse because the heat releases it into “billions of microplastic particles” that then gets released into the food. This also applies to restaurant to-go cups with hot coffee or tea. Microplastic doesn’t break down in the body and can even be found in newborn babies.
Even BPA-free plastic bottles/ containers aren’t technically safe, because at the end of the day, it’s still plastic.
“We’re becoming plastic. We’re actually known as the plasticine epic. Humankind is more plastic. Eventually we will become more plastic than we are humans if we continue at this rate,” she said.
What you can do: Use reusable glass and stainless steel bottles, silverware, and glass food storage containers. Dr. Burkart suggested that if you have a glass container with a plastic lid, keep the food from touching the lid. Also try to buy loose fruit and vegetables versus packaged ones.
Non-Stick Cookware
Rebeca Mello/ Getty Images
Many of us may have used a non-stick pan at some point. If not, then you’ve seen them in the cookware section at your local retailer. However, research shows that non-stick cookware isn’t safe.
“PTFE is the chemical name for teflon, so teflon is used to create the non-stick coating and it is believed because it’s so chemically stable that it wouldn’t come off the pan into your food, but that’s not true,” Dr. Burkart said.
“There’s evidence showing that there is transfer from the cookware in normal cooking conditions into the food. Not only that, when you heat the pan high enough, it will vaporize and get into the air and if you inhale it, you run the risk of experiencing what is known as teflon flu.” Dr. Burkart explained that teflon flu feels like getting the regular flu.
PFAS are also found in non-stick cookware, which are linked to kidney and testicular cancers and thyroid disorders. It also increases the risk of miscarriage, pre-term labor and pre-term birth, preeclampsia, PCOS, endometriosis, and obesity.
What you can do: Stainless steel and cast iron cookware are safer options.
Skincare Products
Unfortunately, most skincare products have phthalates, which is disguised as fragrances (parfums). “The reason why they’re (phthalates) in fragrances and manufactures love them so much is they’re what are known as film formers,” Dr. Burkart said.
“So it helps the fragrance to stick to surfaces like your skin, your clothing, and it helps to make it last longer and linger. So if you’ve ever sprayed something on yourself and are still able to smell it hours later, that’s a telltale sign that you’ve been exposed to phthalates.”
What you can do: While we love our perfumes, a solution can be to not wear it everyday. Another solution is to use essential oils instead.
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Feature image by Jacob Wackerhausen/ Getty Images