March is a turning point and is when massive changes begin to occur. This is the time of the year when there is an inner awakening for more, and the curiosity that blooms opens new doors. In the stars, March is the month that ushers in Eclipse Season, when two eclipses occur back-to-back, and the transformations that come with it are inevitable. However, you are the leader of your life and are the one who can guide and embrace these changes as they come. March is the month to turn a new page, gain clarity, and get inspired.
March 2024 Monthly Horoscopes: The Month Ahead
Pisces Season opens the month for us, and being in this water sign energy always brings more emotions to the surface than usual. With Saturn also being in Pisces right now, there is a balance needed between what we are flowing forward with and what needs to be taken more seriously and grounded in. Mercury enters Aries on March 9, directing our will, passions, and integrity to where our most powerful ideas are flowing right now. Mercury in Aries tends to speak before thinking, however, and communication should be handled with a little more tender love and care for the time being. Be careful with impulsion, and write down your ideas and insights as they come.
On March 10, there is a New Moon in Pisces, and this New Moon is beckoning us to move forward with our creative passions, interests, and spirituality. What have you been inspired to learn more about or dive deeper into? This New Moon is a good time to set your inventions for any creative projects and also for where you want to see the magic grow in your relationships and love life.
Venus enters Pisces the following day on Mar. 11, and this is bringing in some sweet, romantic, and dreamy energy into matters of the heart until Apr. 5.
Aries Season begins on Mar. 19 this year, and we enter a time of fire sign energy as we close out the month. Aries Season is when the changes and transformations begin to light up the sky, and when things get moving for the collective. Mars enters Pisces on Mar. 22, and Mars in this sign is motivated toward love, creativity, and closure. Mars in Pisces is healing energy and is a good time to let go of anything heavy that has been weighing you down. With the Sun in Aries and Mars in Pisces, this time is all about feeling things through, not letting change overwhelm you, and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
At the end of the month, we have the first eclipse of 2024. This eclipse will be a Penumbral Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Libra and will be on Mar. 25. This is the Worm Moon of the year and the time when powerful changes often take place. Remember, though, Eclipses tend to shake things up and make things unsettled for a bit before their permanence takes shape. Since this Full Moon is happening in Libra, the transformations now are typically ones to do with love, relationships, finances, and inner and outer harmony.
March is an awakening and opening to a new way of seeing the world, love, and the manifestations you want to occur.
Read for your sun and rising sign below.
1.ARIES
ARIESKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is your month to let go and rewrite your story, Aries. You are moving through culminations and new beginnings in March, and it’s best to go with the flow with the changes of the month. Emotions are high, and you are especially sensitive right now, so give yourself grace as you move through this time. Mercury enters your sign on Mar. 9, and this is helping you find the clarity and inspiration you have been looking for.
The New Moon on Mar. 10 is a chance to see the gifts of what has been let go from your life. You are processing your emotions this month and wiping away the pain of the past. Aries Season officially begins on Mar. 19, and you are ready to shine and create a new day. The end of the month is an enlightening time for you and once the eclipse occurs on Mar. 25, your heart is filled with gratitude for the love and new beginnings that are flowing in.
2.TAURUS
TAURUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is awakening your inner magic, Taurus. This is the time to stay open to the mysteries of life and to give yourself a second chance at a new beginning. It’s about looking at your life, where your happiness is, and where you want to continue to grow. Friendships and your community are playing a key role in your life this month, and the New Moon on Mar. 10 is when you are going to see some of your intentions here manifest for you.
Venus, your ruling planet and the planet of love, moves into your 11th house of friendships, hopes, and dreams on Mar. 11, and this is the energy that you need to be in right now. Your heart is feeling the magic that comes from opening up and believing in yourself this month. On Mar. 19, Aries Season begins, and the sun moves into the very bottom of your chart, a preparation phase before your season begins. As the month comes to a close, allow yourself a little more time to rest, get grounded, and enjoy where things are.
3.GEMINI
GEMINIKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour strength is needed this month as you overcome some mountains you have been climbing, Gemini. This is a month to turn the focus inward and to heal and regain your strength from there. Mercury, your ruling planet, moves into an area of your chart at the beginning of March that brings your dreams and inspirations into focus. You are thinking a lot about the future this month, and this energy is helping you move through the closures you are experiencing.
Once the Sun moves into Aries on Mar. 19, the energy is more favorable for you and you are no longer feeling stuck in your current circumstances. Obstacles move away, and you have more opportunities for happiness. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse happening at the end of the month is happening in a fellow air sign, Libra, and is bringing some love and romantic energy into your life, and you are growing flowers from the weeds as March ends.
4.CANCER
CANCERKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is about getting grounded, moving forward, and taking the lessons along with the blessings, Cancer. This is a month of growth, and also a time when you are finding your inner peace and settling more into the present moment. You flow well with the energy of the month with Pisces Season here, and the Sun is in your 9th house of adventure. This is a good month to think big picture, connect with nature, and honor the magic and wisdom within you.
The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse happening at the end of the month is shaking things up for you when it comes to the home, family, and foundations, and will be bringing things here into focus. Emotionally, you may be feeling some highs and lows this month, and this eclipse is helping you find a safe space to renew. Before the month ends, Vesta enters your sign, and this energy reminds you to tend to your emotions and the sacred fire within you. In March, you are breaking free.
5.LEO
LEOKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of honoring your free spirit, Leo. The pace is picking up for you in March, and there is a lot of happiness and opportunity surrounding you. You are feeling liberated in being your authentic self, and you are shining in the new spaces you are finding yourself in. The New Moon at the beginning of the month is awakening something within you emotionally, and you are moving through a rebirth in your life right now, one where you are seeing more of your inner power that has always been there.
Aries Season begins on Mar. 19, and the Sun moves into a fellow fire sign, further heightening the positive energy you are moving through this month. You are setting your intentions and seeing dreams coming true. Before the month ends, a Lunar Eclipse is happening in your 3rd house of communication, and you are allowing who you are to come to the surface as you express yourself. You are letting go of insecurities and allowing yourself to take up space this month.
6.VIRGO
VIRGOKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of reflection, setting your intentions, and focusing on the bigger picture, Virgo. You are remaining patient with what is coming to light for you, and seeking inspiration and empowerment in the present moment. Most of the energy in March is happening in your 7th house of love and partnerships, and you are finding your balance between your needs and those you are close to. The New Moon on Mar. 10 is a good time to set your intentions for love and to expect a blessing here.
Venus and Mars both enter your house of love this month as well, and there is something to say about loving yourself just as much as you yearn for the love of others. March is reminding you where it all starts, and showing you the beauty within and around you. The Lunar Eclipse happening on Mar. 23 is a time of closure for you financially, and you are ending a journey here as you prepare for another, more lucrative one.
7.LIBRA
LIBRAKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are one of the power players of the month, Libra, with a Lunar Eclipse happening in your sign at the end of March- the first one of the year. This is a month of moving from closures into a new door, and you are finding yourself in the middle of these transformations that are occurring. The Sun is in your 6th house of health, daily routine, and well-being for most of the month, and this is a good time to focus on what is going to be the healthiest path for you moving forward.
Aries Season begins on Mar. 19, and the Sun moves into your opposite sign. This energy brings in a time when the focus is more on your partnerships and the love you want to see grow here. On Mar. 25, there is a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign, and you end the month walking through a big change in your life. You may need some time to process and regroup at the end of March as old dreams are fulfilled and new ones are fueling you forward.
8.SCORPIO
SCORPIOKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is bringing romance into your life, Scorpio, and is a time when you are leading yourself forward and letting go of the past. You are the creator of your world, and you are creating from the heart right now. With the Sun in your 5th house and a New Moon here on the 10th, this is a month to express yourself, get creative with life, and believe in a miracle in love. You deserve to receive the love and dedication you give, and it’s time to open up to allow it in.
Mars, your ruling planet, moves into your 5th house on Mar. 22 as well, fueling even more of your passion and intentions into being more confident and expressing who you are to the world. This is the month to get out of your shell and shine your light. The eclipse happening at the end of March is a big time of closure for you as you let go of what hasn’t been working out, heal, and breathe a little easier in the process.
9.SAGITTARIUS
SAGITTARIUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of adventure, empowerment, and divine purpose, Sagittarius. You are feeling inspired by the new doors that are opening for you now, and you are walking into them diligently. With Mercury moving into a fellow fire sign at the beginning of the month, you are moving into March feeling inspired, loved, and full of hope. This is an exciting time for you, and one where adventure is calling.
On Mar. 25, a Lunar Eclipse is occurring in your 11th house of friendship, community, and manifestation, and you are coming full circle with matters here. You are seeing some changes in who you surround yourself with at the end of the month, but you are also opening up to more of what is possible for you here. Pallas goes retrograde in your sign on the 29th, and this energy is reminding you to trust your inner wisdom and to think things through thoroughly this month.
10.CAPRICORN
CAPRICORNKyra Jay for xoNecoleMarch is about making yourself proud, Capricorn. You are focused on the dreams you want to be fulfilled and the responsibilities you need to tend to, and your priorities are intact. The Sun is in your 3rd house of communication for most of the month, and this is a time filled with clarity, perspective, and hope. You are ready to take action on the things you have been pondering over, and you are in a good headspace to do so right now.
On Mar. 19, the energy moves from the mind and into the home, and the second half of March is more about tending to your needs at home, taking care of your emotional world, connecting with family or loved ones, and building your foundations. On Mar. 25, a Lunar Eclipse is occurring in your house of career and reputation, and you are seeing old projects come full circle, and congratulations are in order. The end of March is shaping things for you moving forward and setting the tone for the changes that will be happening within your career and professional ventures this year.
11.AQUARIUS
AQUARIUSKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is about acceptance and letting go, Aquarius. The year has just begun, but you have already been moving through more changes and opportunities at clarity than most, and March is no different. With the energy in a financial area of your chart this month, this is a good time to plan for the future financially, to let go of any unhealthy habits here, and to surrender to the good.
The New Moon on Mar. 10 is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions for abundance, and this month is about focusing on the fact that you are worthy of the things you seek in life. The Lunar Eclipse on Mar. 25 is happening in a fellow air sign, and you are feeling enlightened and hopeful as the month ends. This eclipse is closing a door of stagnation in your life and opening a new one of excitement and adventure. You’ll find that the gifts of your life come from acceptance this month.
12.PISCES
PISCESKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive, beautiful. With Pisces Season underway and the Sun in your 1st house of self, you are moving through March feeling empowered, loved, and divinely guided. A lot of the astrological transits of the month are happening in your sign, so emotions are also running high right now. The New Moon in Pisces on Mar. 10 is a time to set intentions for your future and to go where you feel guided towards.
Venus, the planet of love, enters your sign on Mar. 11, and relationship matters move through a time of healing this month. Love is flowing toward you, and you are feeling a positive transformation from it. Pisces Season ends on Mar. 19, but Mars enters your sign on Mar. 22, and you are still feeling motivated by your personal goals and dreams. This is a month to trust yourself and where things are moving and to be confident in the life you are leading right now. You deserve love and respect, and it’s coming your way right now, Pisces.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
RELATED
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Anchiy/Getty Images
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by PeopleImages/ Getty Images