It is a new month, meaning xoNecole has a new batch of monthly horoscopes for each sun sign. March starts off on a high note with Mars transitioning into Gemini which brings out the social butterfly in us all. A magical New Moon in Pisces inspires us to believe in the miracles and the unseen forces that are always conspiring in our favor. Towards the end of the month, the Sun and Venus shift into Aries with the change of the season. Spring has finally arrived and is breathing new life into us all. The month wraps up with a Full Moon restoring balance to our lives and rewarding us for our past efforts.
Check out the horoscopes below to see what's in store for your zodiac sign this month!
Aries
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The month kicks off with your ruling planet, Mars, entering Gemini which will have you busier than usual with your daily tasks. Take your time if you're signing any contracts over the next couple months since your mind is moving quicker than it already does. The New Moon on the 13th invites you to complete a chapter of your life that's been weighing you down. *Cues Erykah Badu's "Bag Lady"*. With Mars squaring off with this part of your chart, be mindful of emotional outbursts around this time. You can always save an important conversation for later if you're feeling overwhelmed.
On the 20th, the Sun shifts into your sign to reinvigorate your spirit for your birthday season. With Venus following behind the next day, the blessings finally start trickling in. People are attracted to your dynamic personality and willingness to take risks which is the attitude you need for the new opportunities coming your way. The month wraps up with a Full Moon encouraging you to reassess the dynamics of your closest relationships—both personal and professional. A severance of ties may be necessary if both parties can't get on the same page.
Taurus
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The month begins with Mars transitioning from your sign into Gemini which will have you exerting most of your energy towards finances and security. This is also a powerful time for overcoming any fears and insecurities that have been holding you back from living your best life. The New Moon on the 13th invites you to expand your social network, whether online or in real life. Your support system is an important part of your growth so lean into your community to secure your success!
The Sun shifts into Aries on the 20th, encouraging you to unplug from the daily grind to prioritize your self-care. You'll likely feel more tired when the Sun is in this part of your chart so give yourself the gift of rest by scheduling a nap into your daily routine. When Venus joins the Sun, you could find yourself on the receiving end of someone else's moodiness. See it for what it is and choose your battles wisely. In some cases, it's more satisfying to know why someone is acting out than to call them out on it. The month wraps up with a Full Moon, helping you kick a bad habit to the curb once and for all.
Gemini
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March begins with Mars leaving Taurus and entering your sign on the 3rd which will have you busier than usual over the next couple of months. You may have felt your energy lagging in January and February but you're in for a major shift with Mars transiting through Gemini. You're also more prone to accidents at this time, making it super important for you to be more present. On the 13th, the New Moon is ruffling your feathers when it comes to your career development. This challenging aspect can either make you or break you. Use this energy to fuel some much-needed change in this area of your life. Also consider ways in which you're giving your power to an authority figure and how you can reclaim your sovereignty.
On the 20th, the Sun shifts into Aries, highlighting your friends and social network. As the saying goes, "Teamwork makes the dream work." Gather together with some of your faves, especially if you have a lofty goal or idea that needs the support of others. When Venus joins the Sun, luck is on your side if you're looking for love on a dating app. People are captivated by your light-heartedness which will help you win over a romantic suitor or some new followers on the Gram. The month ends on a high note with a romantic Full Moon, encouraging you to enjoy a date night or some self-pleasure. Whatever you do—enjoy yourself!
Cancer
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The month begins with Mars entering Gemini on the 3rd, inviting you to disconnect from the daily grind to reconnect with your spiritual sustenance. Meditation and prayer will benefit you over the next couple of months along with an earlier bedtime. Your dreams will be extremely vivid so make sure to document them in a journal or your notes app to decipher the messages. On the 13th, a magical New Moon encourages you to take a different path when it comes to your spiritual beliefs. Be open to learning about new ideologies and practices that are in alignment with this more evolved version of yourself. Traveling can also provide you with a more expanded perspective about life.
On the 20th, the Sun enters Aries which has you feeling the pressure to make some changes in your career path. You have the power to be overcome any obstacles. Believe in yourself and trust that the Universe is always conspiring in your favor. When Venus enters this part of your chart, you could be attracting love and opportunities from someone in a position of influence. Hello, power couple! March wraps up with a Full Moon likely resulting in a relocation in the near future. This is also a supportive time for rectifying generational patterns so you can set your lineage up for success!
Leo
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month kicks off with Mars entering Gemini on the 3rd which has you exerting your energy towards your friends and social networks. You've got the gift of gab during this transit so use it to your advantage. Just take your time when communicating as you'll have a tendency to spout out the first thing that comes to your mind. On the 13th, the New Moon could have you joining forces within a professional or personal relationship that will lend to greater financial security. This is the perfect time to apply for a loan or grant if you need some extra assistance.
The Sun shifts into your sister sign, Aries, on the 20th which has you feeling restless and ready for a new stamp in your passport. Now that Mercury Retrograde is over, you've got the go-ahead to plan your Spring Break vacation. When Venus meets up with the Sun, you could suddenly find yourself boo'd up with someone that you meet during your travels or who lives at a distance from you. Opportunities to share your expertise are also likely to arise during this transit, making this a good time to publish your e-book, launch that course, or host a Clubhouse room. March wraps up with a Full Moon on the 28th, placing you in the spotlight. Your ideas are next-level and people are eager to absorb anything you're willing to share. Social media is a powerful tool for you throughout the month so use it your advantage!
Virgo
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The month begins with Mars shifting into Gemini on the 3rd which has you hyper-focused on leveling up in your career path. Important conversations and meetings are bound to take place over the next couple months, assuring your long-term success and security. Just be mindful of butting heads with anyone in a position of power. Choose your battles wisely and play your cards right. The New Moon on the 13th invites you into a new partnership—whether personal or professional. Your excitement over this connection may take you by surprise which runs the risk of you getting carried away a little too soon. Pace yourself, boo! Long-lasting, solid connections take time to build.
On the 20th, the Sun shifts into Aries, illuminating some your deepest fears but also granting you the confidence to overcome any hurdles that inhibit you from living up to your fullest potential. This transit will challenge you to stop overthinking things and to act on your instincts instead. Trust your intuitive promptings! When Venus enters this part of your chart, you could find yourself on the receiving end of someone's projected anger. Keep your distance from this person to avoid any unnecessary drama and to not internalize the mess that they have going on. The month ends with a Full Moon, helping you resolve a financial matter that's been weighing heavy on you.
Libra
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March kicks off with Mars entering Gemini on the 3rd which has you feeling restless for a much-needed vacation. Now that Mercury Retrograde is over, this is the perfect time to plan a Spring Break getaway. Your desire to learn during this transit is heightened as well, making this a supportive time to go back to school, stock up on some new books, or get into some extensive online research. The New Moon on the 13th encourages you to start a new exercise routine. This is also a powerful time to kick bad habits rooted in escapism. Ultimately, it's time to create a healthier lifestyle for yourself.
On the 20th, the Sun shifts into Aries, highlighting your partnerships and contractual agreements. It's important that you assert your needs within any imbalanced relationships. Awareness of your boundaries and expectations is only half the battle. You also have to communicate them to others. When Venus meets up with the Sun, you could suddenly be attracting new work opportunities due to your assertiveness. This isn't the time to play modest, love. Hype yourself up and sell yourself—especially if you're interviewing for a job. Highlighting your leadership skills will bode exceptionally well. The month wraps up with a Full Moon in your sign releasing you from that bad feeling of putting yourself first. Everyone else does it, so why shouldn't you?
Scorpio
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with Mars shifting into Gemini on the 3rd, inviting you into a deeper dialogue with your anxiety. If you're a busy body, you probably find it difficult to sit down for extended periods of time. Sometimes that fidgety behavior can reflect an inability to be present with your emotions and thoughts. If you need some help getting to the root of things, schedule a session with a therapist or get into a regular practice of writing in a journal. On the 13th, a magical New Moon marks a fresh start in regards to your living environment which could be heralding a relocation or a new addition to your home.
The Sun shifts into Aries on the 20th, granting you the vitality you need to get back into a fitness routine. It's officially time to come out of your hibernation season! When Venus meets up with the Sun, a budding workplace romance may be in the works for some. Over the next couple of months, make the extra effort to look your best—even when you're out running errands or grocery shopping. You'll be surprised who you bump into! The month comes to a close with a Full Moon helping you close out a karmic cycle that's been holding you up for quite some time.
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleMarch kicks off with Mars entering Gemini on the 3rd which has you exerting most of your energy towards relationships and contractual agreements. Things can get a bit tense during this transit. Keep in mind, it's often not what you say but how you say it. Aim for an encouraging approach instead of a pushy one if you're trying to convince someone to get on the same page as you. On the 13th, the New Moon is stirring up a bit of tension in the home and family department which may be just the sign you need to remove yourself from an unhealthy environment. Relocating is supported during this time.
On the 20th, the Sun shifts into Aries, inviting you to indulge in romance and creativity in the next month. Your inner child needs more of your attention so make sure to nurture that aspect of yourself by doing the simple things that bring you pleasure. When Venus enters this part of your chart, love matters get heated, making this a sexy time for you and bae. You're always up for a bit of a challenge and whoever you're involved with over the next couple of months will be just what you need to stay on your toes. The month wraps up with a Full Moon helping you gain clarity on who is truly on #TeamSaggie.
Capricorn
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with Mars shifting into Gemini on the 3rd, giving you a much-needed boost of energy to get back into shape. This is also a good time to schedule annual health screenings to determine if there are any improvements you need to make to your lifestyle. On the 13th, the New Moon is a great time to pick up a new hobby or learn about a topic of interest—particularly anything that flexes your creative muscles, making this the perfect time to learn how to play an instrument or write that book you've been thinking about.
On the 20th, the Sun shifts into Aries which could bring up some tensions within the family unit or related to your home security. Any challenges that arise during this time are best faced head-on. You've got the confidence and drive to overcome any obstacles you're facing. When Venus meets up with the Sun, you have the chance to smooth over any conflict that you've had with family members or roommates. Although tempers will run a little short, growing frustrations can help you pinpoint what needs to change within the dynamic to create more harmony. March wraps up with a Full Moon highlighting a well-earned achievement in career. Make sure to celebrate before you're on to pursuing your next goal!
Aquarius
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleRomance and creativity takes center stage this month when Mars transitions into Gemini on the 3rd. Your inner child wants to play so do the things you enjoy the most to nurture this aspect of yourself. Prioritize more pleasure in your day-to-day experiences to reap the benefits of the medicine of joy. On the 13th, the New Moon marks a fresh start for a financial endeavor, making this a good time to start a business or get a new job. Believe it or not, you won't have to work hard for these opportunities as long as you're energetically aligned with your desired outcome. It's time to get those manifestation abilities poppin!
Towards the end of the month, the Sun shifts into Aries, enlivening your communication. Your enthusiasm is lighting the fire within others. Just be mindful of being too pushy or offering unsolicited advice. Allow others to come to you if they're seeking your input or guidance. When Venus enters this part of your chart, public speaking and writing opportunities can be extended to you. You could be attracting someone who is just as bold and passionate as you are when it comes to romance. On the 28th, the Full Moon grants you the chance to share your expertise with others on a larger platform, whether you're publishing educational content or teaching an online workshop. The people want to hear what you have to say!
Pisces
Laci Jordan for xoNecoleAre you ready for some Spring cleaning? Well, once Mars shifts into Gemini, you'll likely find yourself busy around your house getting rid of things you don't need. Family matters can also have you particularly busy over the next couple of months as well. On the 13th, the magical New Moon in your sign is the perfect time to get a makeover or "rebrand" yourself. Make sure to set some intentions for how you would like the year ahead to unfold. Be mindful of family tension that may be brewing around this time. You may ruffle some feathers in an attempt to establish more independence for yourself.
On the 20th, the Sun enters Aries to revitalize your finances. If money has been a little slow, things should start flowing more smoothly in the weeks to come. This is a good time to consider raising your rates or asking for a raise. Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself! When Venus enters this part of your chart, impulse spending is common. Put yourself on a budget to stay on track with your financial goals. Romantically, you could be attracting someone who is in a position of power and who also just so happens to be financially secure enough to spoil you. The month wraps up with a Full Moon freeing you up for a burdensome financial obligation! Try not to wind up right back in the hole that you just dug yourself out of.
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Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
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Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
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And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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