Seven years ago, I was homeless, pregnant, and hopeless. At the top of 2012, I was gearing up to graduate from college, and at the end, I was figuring out where I was going to live and how I was going to take care of a baby. It was scary, to say the least.
Between extreme morning sickness and vertigo, I was unable to work the first few months of my pregnancy. Staying with family became a less than ideal situation, but there was no other choice. This wasn't supposed to be my life. I had envisioned late nights in the office and living out of a suitcase, as I traveled the country for work. Left with only my thoughts, I took the time to accept my reality and put the focus on what I could control. The first step was managing my emotions. I knew the women I wanted to be, but I wasn't sure of how to become her. So, I started with a vision board. I needed to visualize my happiness and take control of my life.
With paper and glue I bought from the dollar store, and old magazines left around the house, I created a collage of all my hopes, dreams, and wishes. In one corner, there were photos and words that represented home with a comfortable bed where I felt safe, in the bottom-right, it showcased health and fitness. The most important components of this board were family, seeing myself as a loving mother who could provide for her child and the strong fierce woman that was placed in the middle to empower me.
Every night, I would look at my visions and pray to God that my circumstances would change. I knew that I had to believe in the possibility of change, so I clung to it with every fiber in my body.
Journaling allowed me to let go of angst but what really moved the needle were affirmations. An affirmation is positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. While the vision board was broad, affirmations allowed me to be specific and focus on my intended goals. With these newfound tools, I was able to make space for change. I was less anxious, gaining confidence, and more vocal about my needs. I resisted the part of me that focused on lack because I knew I wouldn't cultivate abundance.
Every time I thought of an idea that seemed too big to obtain on my own, I wrote it down, signed and dated. It became clear that I needed the universe to convene my requests. In this case, it was getting a car, finding permanent housing, and going back to school for my master's. After aligning my goals with my actions, this part of my journey was called trusting the process. Within two years, I had manifested everything on my list. I was gainfully employed, in a loving relationship after leaving a toxic one, and happily raising my child in our new apartment. I graduated from my master's shortly thereafter.
When thoughts materialize in the real world, this is manifestation. It is the act of intentionally creating what you want.
Could this be an act of luck? Maybe, that's a plausible thought. But, I believe my thoughts and actions were aligned and I was very clear on what I wanted. Although I didn't have a solid plan of action, I knew the work was being done to receive blessings. I remember my first night's sleep on my bed, the feeling was indescribable, as I stared at the ceilings smiling from ear-to-ear. I had manifested my home and this bed and it was mine all mine.
Everyone has the ability to manifest anything they desire – wealth, optimum health, love, houses, cars, peace of mind. You just have to learn how to use it. Here are seven steps to manifest a life worth living:
Step 1: Get clear on what you want.
Step 2: Ask the universe.
Step 3: Work toward your goals.
Step 4: Trust the process.
Step 5: Receive and acknowledge what you get.
Step 6: Keep Your Vibration High.
Step 7: Clear your resistance.
The truth is we are responsible in some way for creating our world and our reality. Whatever your heart desires there's enough to go around. Manifesting starts with your thoughts and if you're open, the possibilities are endless.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How To Manifest The Life Of Your Dreams In 5 Steps
What's Blocking You From Manifesting Desires
Featured image by Shutterstock
- 4 Ways To Attract & Manifest More Abundance Into Your Life ... ›
- Positive Affirmations Helped Ciara Manifest The Man Of Her Dreams ... ›
- How To Manifest The Life Of Your Dreams In 5 Steps - xoNecole ... ›
- BOSS UP Interview: Devi Brown Manifested Dream Life - xoNecole ... ›
- How To Make A Vision Board That Works - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- You've Got A Ton Of Dreams. So, Why Aren't They Manifesting? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Influencers On Normalizing Black Luxury - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 14 Abundance Affirmations To Become A Magnet For Success - xoNecole ›
- How To Manifest Your Dream Life Using Astrology - xoNecole ›
Ayana Iman is a certified life coach, professional speaker, and mama of one based in New Jersey. She's also known for her love of big hair, travel, and cooking. Find her across social @AyanaIman.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
WNBA star Angel Reese stuns on and off the court, and now she’s spilling her beauty and skincare secrets with us. The 22-year-old gave some insight into her beauty and skincare routine while speaking to Vogue, including her game day routine.
“My grandma used to always put mascara on my eyes when I was younger, and I used to go on the basketball court; that’s how I got the name 'Bayou Barbie' ‘cause I always had my nails, lashes, hair done,” she explained.
Below, Angel shares the skincare products that make her skin glow and her go-to makeup looks.
Check out her routines below.
Skincare
Vogue/YouTube
Angel starts with La Roche-Posay Hydrating Gentle Cleanser. “I love skincare. Makes me feel good, makes me feel cleanse, especially after a long day because I’m always on the go,” she said. “I play sports, so my face is always drenched with sweat, and I always gotta keep it clean.”
Vogue/YouTube
Angel uses two moisturizers. She uses Fenty Skin Hydra Vizor Invisible Moisturizer SPF 30 first and follows it up with Cetaphil Soothing Gel Cream with Aloe.
"You have to use the thinnest layer and then the thickest layer," she said. "I learned these tips because one time I posted a skincare routine and they were like, you need to run that back. And they taught me you need to do thin then thick and then I could see the complete difference with my skin."
Vogue/YouTube
She keeps Laniege Lip Balm with her at all times, including during games.
Vogue/YouTube
One-Size Setting Spray is her go-to for keeping her makeup fresh on the court. “I usually spray my beauty blender with my setting spray,” she said. “People usually wet the beauty blender under the water, but why not set it with this.”
Vogue/YouTube
She rounds out her beauty routine with mascara, brows, and her lip combo using Rare Beauty Kind Words Lip Liner and Covergirl Clean Fresh Yummy Gloss. But before closing, she made sure to give flowers to the WNBA stars before her who were also known for getting glammed on and off the court.
“I gotta give kudos to the girls who were wearing makeup before. Lisa Leslie, Skylar Diggins, Candace Parker. Everybody already had their edges and their lashes, lipstick on," she said. "Tina Thompson; she used to wear a full red lip on her lips during the game, but that’s something I could probably never do.”
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Vogue/YouTube