Let's talk money.
I grew up in a single parent household and was lucky enough to not only have a supermom but also a business savvy mom. In school we are taught all that we need to pass exams, but these lessons don’t include personal finance. Most people get into the real world and have no concept of money management or where to even begin.
I have a thirst for knowledge in this area and a passion for sharing what I know to encourage others to take money management and personal finance seriously. When it comes to money management, there’s nothing better than knowing your bills are paid, your savings is growing, and you have some extra funds to “do you.” If you haven’t gotten started just yet or would like to add on to what you are currently doing, here are some tips to jump-start the process:
1) Visualize what you are working with!
Have you ever heard people say that they are visual learners? Well, I consider myself one. Keeping an excel sheet is a bit old school but I love the flexibility in changing numbers, using formulas, and the ease of sitting at my laptop and being able to see all my funds at once. Depending on your pay schedule, list out which bills you plan to pay with what check. After you add these things up, subtract from your net pay and what's left over, you can play with! Now if you are more tech savvy and prefer to have your budget at your fingertips, consider looking into apps such as Mint, which allows you to have convenient access through your smartphone. Remember, the key to budgeting is to track your spending! By doing so, you’ll know where to cut back and where you have room to wiggle.
2) Don't forget to pay yourself.
Although we can get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, there’s nothing like knowing you have some “tuck-away” funds. Before you do anything additional with your money, put away a set amount of funds into your savings account. Make saving a priority; don’t wait until you’ve spent most of your money and only save what’s left. “The goal of paying yourself first is to help make sure your future self’s key financial goals are covered, including building up an emergency fund, contributing to retirement and saving for any other long-term goals (Forbes).”
3) Have a savings account that is not tied to your primary bank account.
We all know the saying “robbing Peter to pay Paul.” This is exactly what happens when we co-mingle our funds, so to speak. You say to yourself you’re going to save $100 a check but once you start getting down to the last few dollars in your checking account, you start to slowly dip into your savings. How come? Because it's so easy. All you have to do is transfer the money and it’s immediately available. A solution for this would be to keep your "real" savings separate. I opened a savings account with a completely different bank and chose not to get a debit card for it. The best part of this account you ask? It takes three days to transfer money into your checking account. By the time you would receive the money, guess what? Those shoes or that bag isn’t so important.
There's also Digit. This free website and app studies your financial moves and automatically transfers money from your bank account to your Digit Account. They will send you daily, fun texts with updates of your balances and transfers. You can choose to save more, pause savings or withdrawal your money via text as well. Your money is FDIC insured and they have a no-overdraft guarantee.
4) Know Your Debt. Then, Knock It Off!
Make it your business to know what's out there in your name! Lots of people get duped for being uninformed. You can and most certainly will be penalized for not paying bills in your name, even if you knew nothing about them. Pull your credit report, everything you need to know will be included. Next, make a list of your debt from the smallest amount to the greatest and start knocking them off one by one. Each time you finish one, take the extra money and apply it toward the next debt. As you begin to see your debt decrease, you will feel motivated to keep going.
5) Did somebody say rainy day?
Now I'm sure we all know how it feels to get caught in the rain without an umbrella! The same applies to unforeseen circumstances that may leave you in a bind and needing some quick funds. Most financial advisors recommend having at least 3-6 months of living expenses saved. Yes, you heard me right, 3-6 months and that includes rent, monthly debt payments, and whatever other obligations you have to take care of. For some of us when we add that up, that number can scare us so I recommend starting small. According to financial author Dave Ramsey, an emergency fund of $1k is a good place to start. Set a plan, take your time and you'll get there. Once you reach that $1k goal, set small goals to get yourself to that 3-6 month cushion. “You cannot expect victory and plan for defeat” (Joel Osteen). Small victories are better than none!
6) It's never too early to start saving for retirement.
Unfortunately, by the time many of us retire, the social security program may be depleted. This is one less source of income a retiree will have to look forward to. Don’t let this discourage you, take advantage of the many options that are available to you. More often than not, we may approach situations with the “we have time” mind frame. Well honey, time flies and when it comes to investing, the earlier you contribute, the greater your return. Contact the HR rep for your employer and see what options are available to you (ex: 401(k) or pension). If your job doesn't provide you with options or you prefer to do your own thing, look into options such as a Roth or Traditional IRA. Doing your research is key; then go with the best option for your financial situation. There’s a huge misconception that you should wait until you make more money to save. This couldn’t be more inaccurate. As you get older, in most cases you have more responsibility (kids, spouse, mortgage, etc.) and these things will be just additional reasons for why you can’t save. Bottom line is it may never “feel” like the right time. Start saving now!
7) Your Credit Score…Know It!
The dreaded score that gets ruined before you realize its importance and why you need it. I got my first credit card in college. My mom warned me about how debt can easily add up but at that age I didn’t care. All I knew was that some bank was crazy enough to give me a credit card. Fast forward to now, I play no games when it comes to my credit and paying my bills on time. I’ve even gone as far as to not carry any credit cards in my wallet. Here and there I may carry one for emergencies but I hate to be tempted by that bag or those shoes! If you haven't already, pull your credit report on FreeCreditReport.com at least once a year. Go over it thoroughly, make a plan to pay outstanding balances, and dispute any charges that are erroneous or unwarranted. This report and your score speak to your credit worthiness; it could be the determining factor of whether you get that fabulous house or not.
8) Don’t be Pimped by Your Life!
Many times we get stuck being in situations we despise because we don’t see a way out. This goes for relationships, jobs, business ventures, etc. Having security, a cushion, or being stable could mean the difference between leaving that job you hate and following your dreams or staying at that 9-5 because you have no money saved up and need to make ends meet. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a 9-5, that’s what I do now. Let’s keep it real, many of you desire more or if given the opportunity would be doing something else. The only constant in life is change, so be prepared. Now when that unplanned event happens or you just wake up one day and want to jump ship; you will be ready! A lot of what I included in this article is just a snippet of how good money management can lead to financial freedom. As a result, financial freedom can lead to a greater quality lifestyle.
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Have your finances ever been in shambles? What are some steps that you took to get back on the right track?
Germeen is a NYC auditor pressing her way through the jungle gym known as corporate America. Her thirst for adventure has been proven by the stamps on her passport and her hunger for new experiences is demonstrated in her commitment to live life to the fullest. She is a self-proclaimed control freak and personal finance enthusiast somewhere overdosing on life.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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