

In 2018, The Center for American Progress reported that African-American women are three to four times more likely to die from childbirth than non-Hispanic white women, and socioeconomic status, education, and other factors do not protect against this disparity. Celebrities like Beyonce and Serena Williams have also helped to bring awareness to these claims, as they both shared the trauma surrounding their emergency C-sections in their respective documentaries Homecoming, and Being Serena.
Additionally, Black mothers' anxiety surrounding childbirth has increased significantly during COVID-19, due to hospitals limiting the number of people that can enter the delivery room, leaving many expectant moms feeling defenseless and unsupported. In tandem with that, a recent meta-analysis researching over 20 years of studies revealed Black patients were 22 percent less likely than white patients to receive any pain medication as they were perceived to have a higher tolerance for pain, have thicker skin, and less sensitive nerve endings.
On the other side of the statistics and fears, is holistic doula, and founder of Mama Glow, Latham Thomas. The Oprah Super Soul 100's Teacher established the first company to offer doula support at every stage along the childbearing continuum - including fertility doula service for women looking to conceive. Her company, which currently has over 400 doulas worldwide, has been at the helm of this resurgence of Black women reclaiming their birth experiences and seeking midwives and doulas to assist them in various stages of their pregnancy.
Here's what the author shared with us the state of home births during COVID-19, how we can show up for Black moms, and self-care:
The Current State Of Home Births
"They're a bunch of clients who were primed for a home birth, but systemically, midwives of color have been marginalized. Dating back to the 1600s, Black slaves acted as midwives and doulas until the mid to late 1700s. When obstetrics was introduced into America, white male physicians replaced midwives, and by the 1800s, legislation was created to ban midwives from practice altogether, and in some states, midwifery is still illegal. So, they are working at their fullest capacity and because there's not so many. Our county has created legislation that's undermined the sustainability of midwives and midwifery, so, unfortunately, it's not accessible to everyone."
How Expectant Mothers Can Stay Encouraged
"While there is a one support person rule that some hospitals have enacted, there are many things that a doula can assist you [with] via Zoom during childbirth. And if you're a single mom or single by choice, you can still bring your doula to act as your one support person.
"This is a challenging time, but it's also an exciting time in how you can prepare yourself in this process. It shouldn't be about being afraid but feeling empowered; I really want Black women to know that reclaim joy, I know tons of people who are having amazing births at this time. We can't allow fear to seep into our consciousness."
"It shouldn't be about being afraid but feeling empowered; I really want Black women to know that reclaim joy, I know tons of people who are having amazing births at this time. We can't allow fear to seep into our consciousness."
For Moms Who Can’t Afford A Doula
"There are doulas everywhere that do community-based work, and they will work with people regardless of the rate. This is a part of our scope of service at Mama Glow; it's my duty to put you in contact with someone who can help you even if I can't. We also have new doula trainees, and those doula services are much less expensive."
How We Can Support New Moms During This Time
"When thinking about Black mothers and how we are as a culture, we're with our people. We don't do this alone, we're a community that raises our children together, and not having that village surrounding us right now can impact new moms mentally. They're struggling; they don't have the support. There's no one cooking for you, holding the baby while you shower - we need to show up for them.
"I'd suggest sending them gift cards for groceries and having daily Zoom calls to check in on them so that the mom sees people every day, so if she has markers for postpartum depression, they're being seen. They should also consider reaching out to a licensed healthcare partner, as many therapists are offering that service online, with a sliding scale so they can work with you from home."
"For us, self-care is not just a frivolous thing, it's a necessity that allows us to combat things that can fry us emotionally."
What Self-Care Should Look Like For Black Moms
"I want us to figure out what self-care rituals that you can practice daily so that you can design a life you don't have to escape from. You might need to declare, 'I need a nap. I'm going to take my iPad in the bathtub and watch my favorite show, or I'm going to throw on some Beyonce and twerk.' We need to explore happiness. Recently, self-care for me has been putting together my 'stop doing list' where I proclaim what I won't take in. Black mothers accumulate so much.
"As I was thinking about the murder of Ahmaud Arbery, I couldn't help but appreciate that my 16-year-old child son is home with me during this time. I sleep at night soundly, because I know where he is. The spikes of anxiety Black mothers face when we think about the safety of our children can destroy our nervous system. We need to think about the stress level that exacerbates our mental health; for us, self-care is not just a frivolous thing, it's a necessity that allows us to combat things that can fry us emotionally. I want us to practice self-preservation and self-love and use it as a model for ourselves and our children."
For more of Latham, follow her and Mama Glow on Instagram.
Featured image via Latham Thomas/Instagram
Originally published on May 22, 2020
Dubbed one of the "21 Black Women Wellness Influencers You Should Follow" by Black + Well, Yasmine Jameelah continues to leave her digital footprint across platforms ranging from Forever 21 Plus, Vaseline, and R29 Unbothered discussing all things healing and body positivity. As a journalist, her writing can be found on sites such as Blavity, Blacklove.com, and xoNecole. Jameelah is also known for her work shattering unconventional stigmas surrounding wellness through her various mediums, including her company Transparent Black Girl. Find Yasmine @YasmineJameelah across all platforms.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Egypt Sherrod & Mike Jackson On Love, Business, And Financial Transparency On The First Date
Egypt Sherrod and Mike Jackson have captivated us on their HGTV show, Married to Real Estate, and podcast Marriage and Money.
Now, they have teamed up with TurboTax to assist small business owners with tax and financial support. The couple met while working in radio, and now they own multiple businesses together. While working with your spouse can have its ups and downs, they wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Besides the fact that I get to work with the person I love doing what I love to do, right? There's the aspect of our daughters, seeing us work together as a unit and actually doing it successful,” Mike tells xoNecole in an exclusive interview
“So they get to grow up and experience what it is to be entrepreneurs from ground level, right? Because Mom and Dad did it, and they did it in such a way that I want to emulate, even if they don't decide to do exactly what we do, but they get to see it. That, to me, means a lot.”
But owning a business, whether separate or together, comes with a lot of responsibility and mistakes can often happen, especially for novice entrepreneurs. Egypt opens up about mistakes her and Mike experienced working in real estate.
“On our journey of entrepreneurship, we made a lot of mistakes. We spent money, we did things backwards, we learned the hard way through the school of hard knocks. There was no road map for us,” she says.
“So our goal by partnering with TurboTax is to really open the eyes of fellow entrepreneurs, to show them that, especially when it comes to your finances, your taxes, and getting that right, there is a faster, more cost effective, more accurate way of getting the support that you need.”
“On our journey of entrepreneurship, we made a lot of mistakes. We spent money, we did things backwards, we learned the hard way through the school of hard knocks. There was no road map for us."
Being tax compliant is among small business owners’ top concerns, but it's often time-consuming and research-intensive to figure out taxes on your own. TurboTax Business provides small business owners and solopreneurs access to unlimited live expert help to get your taxes prepared and filed.
When it comes to their marriage, the money conversation never goes away. The couple owns six businesses together, multiple properties, and are parents to three daughters. So when it comes down to finances, they believe in transparency, even dating back to their first date 21 years ago.
“Our first conversation about money was that, ‘hey, I don't have no money.’ Okay?,” Mike says. “Because there's been past relationships that are no longer existing. There's been things going on that I had to take care of and get through. So you're meeting a man that is pretty much starting from scratch again. How do you feel about it?”
At the time, Mike was newly divorced and had a small child. Egypt says she found his honesty “refreshing” and was looking for someone to build with, so his finances weren’t a problem for her. “If you're building anything, and that's like, first, second, third date, and you feel like, okay, this is someone I can be invested with, even beyond money, you have to just be honest about your circumstances,” Egypt shares.
“Our first conversation about money was that, ‘hey, I don't have no money.’ Okay?. Because there's been past relationships that are no longer existing. There's been things going on that I had to take care of and get through. So you're meeting a man that is pretty much starting from scratch again. How do you feel about it?”
“Otherwise you're building a house of cards that can fall at any minute, but I think money is one of the things. Finances are one of the things that even when people are in love, they still can't make it work and it breaks up marriages. It breaks up relationships because it's a stressor.
“So, yeah it is something that you want to ask about up front. What's your credit? How much do you earn? You don't have to be rich, but I just need to know if if the math is mathing.”
While they don’t believe you should have the money conversation on the first date, they do believe you should have it early to avoid any misunderstandings down the line.
To hear more about their story, check out their podcast, Marriage and Money and watch the new season of Married to Real Estate on HGTV.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
“So they get to grow up and experience what it is to be entrepreneurs from ground level, right? Because Mom and Dad did it, and they did it in such a way that I want to emulate, even if they don't decide to do exactly what we do, but they get to see it. That, to me, means a lot.”
But owning a business, whether separate or together, comes with a lot of responsibility and mistakes can often happen, especially for novice entrepreneurs. Egypt opens up about mistakes her and Mike experienced working in real estate.
“On our journey of entrepreneurship, we made a lot of mistakes. We spent money, we did things backwards, we learned the hard way through the school of hard knocks. There was no road map for us,” she says.
“So our goal by partnering with TurboTax is to really open the eyes of fellow entrepreneurs, to show them that, especially when it comes to your finances, your taxes, and getting that right, there is a faster, more cost effective, more accurate way of getting the support that you need.”
“On our journey of entrepreneurship, we made a lot of mistakes. We spent money, we did things backwards, we learned the hard way through the school of hard knocks. There was no road map for us."
Being tax compliant is among small business owners’ top concerns, but it's often time-consuming and research-intensive to figure out taxes on your own. TurboTax Business provides small business owners and solopreneurs access to unlimited live expert help to get your taxes prepared and filed.
When it comes to their marriage, the money conversation never goes away. The couple owns six businesses together, multiple properties, and are parents to three daughters. So when it comes down to finances, they believe in transparency, even dating back to their first date 21 years ago.
“Our first conversation about money was that, ‘hey, I don't have no money.’ Okay?,” Mike says. “Because there's been past relationships that are no longer existing. There's been things going on that I had to take care of and get through. So you're meeting a man that is pretty much starting from scratch again. How do you feel about it?”
At the time, Mike was newly divorced and had a small child. Egypt says she found his honesty “refreshing” and was looking for someone to build with, so his finances weren’t a problem for her. “If you're building anything, and that's like, first, second, third date, and you feel like, okay, this is someone I can be invested with, even beyond money, you have to just be honest about your circumstances,” Egypt shares.
“Our first conversation about money was that, ‘hey, I don't have no money.’ Okay?. Because there's been past relationships that are no longer existing. There's been things going on that I had to take care of and get through. So you're meeting a man that is pretty much starting from scratch again. How do you feel about it?”
“Otherwise you're building a house of cards that can fall at any minute, but I think money is one of the things. Finances are one of the things that even when people are in love, they still can't make it work and it breaks up marriages. It breaks up relationships because it's a stressor.
“So, yeah it is something that you want to ask about up front. What's your credit? How much do you earn? You don't have to be rich, but I just need to know if if the math is mathing.”
While they don’t believe you should have the money conversation on the first date, they do believe you should have it early to avoid any misunderstandings down the line.
To hear more about their story, check out their podcast, Marriage and Money and watch the new season of Married to Real Estate on HGTV.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy