Some of us aren't quite ready to take that overseas trip, while others have long given in to the travel bug and have been on flights since before the U.S. required negative COVID tests to return home. (Oh, I know I'm not the only one). If you're a travel lover like me, you might have been keeping a watchful eye on those coins in the past few months, looking for ways to save just to book the flight and luxe accommodations. Well, I'm also a discount lover with the I-got-it-but-I-ain't-spending-$5,000-on-nobody's-travel-package bougetto kind of traveler.
Whether you're among those waiting another six months or so before using those travel credits, or you're all set to go on your next adventure soon, check out a few tips that have helped me in planning luxury travel on a budget:
1. Venture beyond the usual third-party discount sites for booking trips.
Listen, we all know about the whole savings tip of traveling during off-peak times, and we know that Groupon is the go-to OG for booking discounted trips. (So are Expedia, Orbitz, Hopper, and Kayak.) However, sometimes I don't have the time or just don't want to fly out somewhere during some weird season where the vibes are nonexistent or just not festive. (Oh, and let's not forget the "revenge travel" that's going on now, making us all forget what a "peak" season even is with all the crowds and price surges.)
I've found great deals and discounts by going directly on a hotel's or airline's official website and signing up for their membership programs. Doing this allows you to avoid missing out on perks like having the ability to upgrade or have to deal with the sneaky third-party fine print that says the booking can't be changed or adjusted. For example, Hilton Honors offers some amazing perks for members to stay at their more than 5,900 properties around the world, their options are diverse and fabulous for staycations and overseas trips, and their customer service is everything.
I also love the Marriott Bonvoy program, where you can earn free nights and get updated on special member rates. (And don't think of Marriott as that budget hotel your family always stayed in for the annual reunion. They've got some pretty amazing luxury properties around the world including the W and the Ritz Carlton brands.)
2. Tap into rewards.
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It's also a good idea to check out your favorite airline's rewards programs and, for trips that take more than 8 hours or might be that one-time-a-year treat, book directly with them as a member. I absolutely love American Airlines Advantage, and they're my fave for my many trips to the Caribbean. The miles seem to rack up pretty quickly, the boarding process is typically seamless and stress-free, and miles can be used without a lot of annoying and inconveniencing stipulations.
Many credit card companies offer rewards on travel (NerdWallet has an excellent list of the best, by the way) and if you travel a lot, it's a good idea to look into the best ways you can make both your debit and credit cards work for you in terms of saving coins. Several banks offer cashback rewards on your purchases, so check out a few of those as well. (Here's a link to get you started, sis. You're welcome.)
3. Add luxury touches pre-trip.
You might have a coach ticket, but that doesn't mean you can't have a bit of luxury during your commute. I'm a huge fan of airport lounges, and if you're not into spending $600-$800 for access, try a day pass. American Airlines offers one for its Admiral's Club access where, for $59, you can get chef-inspired food and drinks, comfy seats to scroll the web via their free Wifi, and some even have shower suites. United, which has more than 45 lounge locations, also offers a $59 day pass that can be purchased via their app.
I also have no shame in bringing my own mini-bottles of top-shelf alcohol (if it's that kind of trip!), which can run you just $1.50 to $7.00 per bottle for brands like Johnnie Walker Black, Patron, Kettle One, or Ciroc. I simply pack my "nips" in my carry-on bag and add them to mixed drinks (virgin, of course) or juices for a pre-boarding cocktail.
You can also add luxury to the commute to and from the airport by spending a few extra dollars with Lyft Lux and ride in style via a high-end sudan or SUV. Only drivers who are highly rated and experienced are allowed to participate. And who wouldn't like getting picked up from the airport in a nice, clean BMW, Lexus, or Cadillac?
For the times when I can't swing hundreds of dollars a night for lodging, I pack luxury items to take with me to the budget digs. Items like a silk robe or lingerie, aromatherapy bath oils and gels, satin pillow cases, small scented candles or bottles of sparkling water (bought at the airport of course) all add that luxe touch to my stay.
4. Book a villa or home rental vs. the usual resort packages.
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I get that many people are just used to resorts and like the one-stop-shop vibes of just booking a weeklong stay for $2,500 or more and enjoying all-inclusive amenities the property offers. But I've found that traditional resorts just aren't my cup of tea. My idea of the "luxury" I should be getting for that price just never seems to match up with what many offer. (Either I don't like the food or the customer service as much as I should for the price, or the entertainment is just not within my tastes.)
Sometimes spending that same $2,500 to book a longer stay at a villa or home rental is a much better experience, and you get to really tailor or choose the version of "luxury" you prefer.
For example, in Negril, Jamaica you can get a private home with a pool, proximity to a private beach, and modern amenities for $250 to $300 per night, and simply hire someone to come in to cook custom meals for you. (Trust me, they're out there. If the host can't connect you, it's easy to find one by asking a taxi driver or restaurant host.) You can create your own fun, utilize the technology, and have privacy. To me, that's a more luxurious experience (and more bang for my buck) than being limited to cafeteria-style and chain-food-serving restaurants, sharing a resort pool with dozens of people (who apparently flew thousands of miles to hear Top 40 hits of the early 2000), or being underwhelmed by drunken tourists doing absurd versions of twerking.
5. Think outside the (location and type) box when it comes to lodging.
There are so many so-called hidden gems that have a luxury vibe but are not among the popular or well-advertised spots. For example, instead of staying on the popular Hip Strip of Montego Bay, sometimes I opt for Lucea, Jamaica, a small town located between Negril and Montego Bay. Try the Grand Palladium, which will run you about $250 to $321 per night vs. popular resorts in Negril that cost upwards of $400 per night for similar amenities. Or instead of staying in Tulum or Cancun, Mexico, where luxury hotels might run you upwards of $350 per night, try Playa del Carmen or San Jose del Cabo, where the average prices for luxury stays start around $200 per night.
Boutique hotels in popular vacay destinations also tend to offer good deals on room rates, and you'll still get the luxury feel of a resort. I like Villas Sur Mer which features the cutest cottages, a beautiful pool, cliff-side access, and amazing views for as low at $126 (during some seasons).
Also, luxury hostels are a thing. (Travel Binger has an awesome list of top spots around the world.) You get luxe touches like modern amenities (think: underground clubs, laundry services, private terraces, chic cafes, and travel shops), great views, and customized extras at super-affordable rates.
6. Research organizational affiliation and student deals or corporate discounts.
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I often overlooked this until I found out that as a grad student, I qualify for quite a few discounts or deals on everything from plane or train tickets, to transportation vouchers, to hotel stays. If you're part of a sorority or volunteer organization, you're a military veteran or active service member, or you're a church leader, you might be eligible for discounts. Also, memberships with orgs and companies like AAA, Costco, BJs, and credit unions can have the added benefit of travel deals. Your school's alumni association might even offer discounts.
I've also, in the past, worked for companies that had partnerships with other brands and offered discounts via those partnerships. Check your job's website or ask an HR rep about any sort of travel discounts you might be eligible for as an employee. (Oh, and check out these companies that offer competitive benefit packages that put vacation at the forefront.)
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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You know, sometimes, when I go back and look at some of the articles that I’ve penned for the platform before, I truly can’t believe how fast time flies. Take the piece, “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?” — now, how in the world did it turn five this year? I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it. And although the piece does address some key points — like the fact that there is somewhat of a difference between being spiritual and being religious (although more people should read James 1:27 in order to understand how the Bible defines religion to be…it just might surprise them) — I want to explore a deeper angle of our spirituality, along with what we should require of it.
Today, let’s look at spirituality from the perspective of “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things,” “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…” (Murray and Zentner) and, perhaps, more than anything else, “the relationship between ourselves and something larger."
You know, it’s a woman by the name of Dr. Maya Spencer who once said, “Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond a mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression. It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of Life in our universe.” Indeed.
And while keeping that in mind, if this is a time of your life when you would like to “clean or cleanse your spirituality” by doing things like removing negative energy, getting rid of old or counterproductive patterns and/or by stepping into an elevated space as far as your human spirit and soul are concerned, you might be pleasantly surprised by how easy and even fun that can be for you to do.
To effectively clean/cleanse your spirit, start by asking — and answering — the following five spirituality-focused questions:
What Inspires You?
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Remember how, in the intro, I shared that one definition of spirituality is “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…”? That is actually where I am pulling a lot of these questions from because, the reality is that focusing on things that inspire you, intentionally pondering your purpose, and also by encouraging yourself to become an overall better human being — these things definitely tie into your spiritual side whether you are “traditionally religious” or not.
And so, when it comes to cleansing your spirituality in this season, a great question to start off with is what actually inspires you? And listen, believe it or not, inspire is a pretty layered word. I say that because, while one definition is “to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.),” another is “to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence,” while synonyms of the word include excite, affect, cause, motivate, provoke, and instill. This means that if you truly want to say or do things from a place of inspiration, you need to produce things from a divine or supernatural space (interesting, right?).
The reason why it’s so important to “spring clean” in this department is, oftentimes you can be motivated or provoked by things that aren’t really all that good, healthy and/or beneficial for you (social media fast, anyone?) — things that take your mind off of what’s divine — sacred, godly and extremely good. As a result, you find yourself producing out of a mind and heart space that is compromised when it comes to your core standards, values, and even goals.
So yes, in the effort to cleanse your spirituality, begin by really reflecting on what you claim inspires you — then revisit what the word actually means…just to be sure that you are being honest with yourself about whether something or one is truly inspiring you…or not.
What Amplifies Your Purpose?
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Purpose is always something that is going to be a pretty big deal to me. That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose,” “The Conversation You Need To Have With Yourself Before The New Year Begins,” “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'” and “5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose.” It’s because really, if you’re not focused, most of all, on the reason why you exist in the first place, nothing else is going to be fully, truly, and authentically fulfilling for you.
So, when it comes to this part of your spirituality, first take some time to make sure that you know what your purpose is. If you have no clue and you’re ready to find out, as a wise person once said, wisdom comes in the questions, even more than the answers, and Rockwood Leadership Institute has a whopping 132 questions that you can ask yourself in order to get to the root of what your purpose is here. On the flip side, if you do know and you’re just not feeling completely satisfied in what you are currently doing as it relates to executing your purpose, it sounds to me like you are going through a bit of a “purpose growth spurt,” and yes, there is such a thing.
For instance, I am very clear on what my purpose in life is — I am here to teach what I study and research about when it comes to the topics of covenant marriage, sex, and the biblical Sabbath. All are covenant principles that have been unbelievably compromised in a thousand different ways. However, as I evolve, transform, and mature, my understanding of what I know does as well, and that “upgrades” how I approach and share my purpose with others. You see, purpose is never supposed to be stagnant…it is ever-shifting as far as how you accomplish things within it.
And that’s why, spiritually, it’s so important that you make sure that you are AMPLIFYING YOUR PURPOSE. To amplify is “to make larger, greater, or stronger; enlarge; extend.” If you are not putting forth the effort to do just this, there is some spiritual cleansing that must be done because, if there is one thing about a person’s purpose, it’s the fact that it’s HUGE which means that there will always be plenty to do within it until their time on this earth ends.
What Makes You Love Better…and More?
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I believe I’ve mentioned before that a show that I loathe with every fiber of my being (and there really is so much to choose from these days — SMDH) is TV One’s For My Man. Not only is it a program that discourages full-level accountability, but it irks me to no end every time that it says that a woman did some heinous crime in the name of love. According to Scripture, GOD IS LOVE (I John 4:8&16). Not only that, but the Love Chapter in Scripture has a very healthy, sane, and mature take on how we should love and require love in return (I’m going to share two translations of I Corinthians 13:4-8 for expanded context):
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.” (I Corinthians 13 — Message)
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” (I Corinthians 13 — AMPC)
Now, think about what you see displayed on television when it comes to relationships. Based on these verses, is it love? Is it really? Ponder all of the relationship content that’s on social media. Does it sound like this kind of love? Does it really? The times when you’ve done things that you know were purely rooted in selfishness, impatience, and/or refusing to do for others what you would want them to do for you — how can any of that be loving? If you do believe in God and you also believe that you were made in his image (Genesis 1:26-28), this means that a part of your own spiritual DNA is love. This also means that if you know that your love has been tainted by material or physical things (which, by definition, is the opposite of spirituality), it’s time to make some real adjustments.
That said, take some time, think about the people and things that you profess to love, and ask yourself if it’s really love or is it lust or entitlement or immaturity. Then ask yourself what you can do to love those individuals and items better.
Remember, since you are made from Love, it’s important that you love like you are.
How Effective Are You When It Comes to Compassion?
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Personally, I think that whenever someone does something reckless and then follows up with the Bible says not to judge, I find it to be a supreme level of gaslighting. The context of that verse is saying that in the way that you judge, you will be judged and that you should make sure that you are right in the area that you are judging before you judge someone else (Matthew 7:1-5); however, be clear that judgment is a form of accountability which is why there are also verses like “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24 — NKJV) that exist — not to mention the fact that discernment literally means “keen judgment” and the Good Book supremely promotes that: “Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; rebuke one who has understanding, and hewill discern knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:25 — NKJV)
And that’s why, any time the topic of “don’t judge” comes up, I am known for saying something along the lines of, “PUH-LEEZE. If I say ‘You’re cute,’ I just judged you. Humans don’t have a problem with judgment; they don’t like criticism or accountability.” And gee, is that unfortunate because it’s hard to grow without both of those things. However, the key that comes with being on the giving end of criticism or holding someone accountable is applying a quote by author Anne McCaffrey: “Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
This world has a lot of…stuff going on, stuff that needs to be addressed and stuff that needs compassion applied while it is. By definition, compassion is about having concern for others, especially if what you see them going through, they have either told you or you can discern is tied to some level of internal suffering. And that’s why, in the spirit of spiritual cleansing, something else to ask is if you are holding others and even yourself accountable while operating from a place of genuine care and concern or is your ego just wanting to elevate itself or prove that it’s right?
You know, we’re living in a time when, more and more, people are frowning on humility which is unfortunate because a definite quality that comes with being a compassionate person is absolutely that — “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 — NKJV)
It really is almost impossible to be profoundly spiritual without being a compassionate person. Is this an area that needs some “cleaning up”? If so, there is no time like the present.
What Encourages You to Be Wiser and Full of More Truth?
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Musician Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens.” Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Confucius once said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest." Thomas Jefferson once said, “The wisest men know their weakness.” Author Gift Gugu Mona once said, “A woman of peace is a wise woman who understands that peace is more powerful than trying to prove a point.”
And what does it mean to be wise?
People who can regulate their emotions are wise. People who actually learn from their experiences (and the experiences of others, so that they don’t have to experience everything) are wise. People who know how to tame their ego are wise. People who are flexible/adaptable, non-materialistic, are self-aware, can be relied upon for great perspectives and insights, and are teachable are wise. The self-disciplined are wise. The patient are wise. The non-entitled are wise. Those who prioritize well are wise.
Those who do not live above their means (across the board), they are also wise. And there is no way that you can be wise without being willing to be completely honest, yes truthful with yourself about where you could stand to gain more wisdom and what must be done — and sometimes sacrificed — in order to get it.
And so, as I close this piece out, when it comes to spring cleaning your spirituality, ask yourself who and what encourages and enables you to become a wiser individual — AND who and what hinders that from transpiring. Then be honest with yourself about what is challenging you for the better and what, frankly, is only dumbing you down. Indeed, in order to live out the full potential of your spirituality, wisdom must come into play. However, it’s important to keep in mind that, for wisdom to truly flourish, it is a conscious choice — a daily decision.
And it will never come so long as you are making up excuses, justifying poor behavior (check out “Accountability Time: Let's Stop Calling It A 'Mistake' When It Was A 'Choice'”) or lying to yourself about what needs to be done. Taking those approaches to life is literally the opposite of being wise.
A French priest by the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” I can only imagine how much the quality of our lives would improve if we took that in on a very serious level.
The good news is you can choose to do it — right here and right now.
See yourself as a spiritual being.
Clean/cleanse whatever hinders that reality.
And watch how you begin to soar, supernaturally, by design, because of it, sis.
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