
Lupita Nyong'o Epitomizes The Beauty & Versatility Of Natural Hair

When Lupita Nyong'o spoke on her relationship with her beautiful, natural "kinky" hair for Allure magazine, it was seriously a moment unlike any other.
Up until a few years ago, the natural hair movement and celebration of natural hair textures was seriously an anomaly. Even then, seeing women with what is considered more kinky, coily-textured, 4C hair was few and far between.
From seeing her on red carpets to powerful movies that literally push #BlackMagic like Black Panther, it's nothing short of incredible to see a dark-skinned, 4C-textured hair woman speaking on the culture of hair. The African beauty recently told Allure:
"I like the term 'kinky.' Some people don't like that term, but when I think about my hair, I think of it as African kinky hair."
"But I'm not really in deep with the politics of it all and the language choice. I speak just from my own experience or my own preference. Curly hair differs so much."
Her stylist, Vernon Francois, also told the magazine, "Lupita and I wanted to show that coily or kinky hair has many strengths and can be worn in lots of different ways, celebrating its beauty and versatility."
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Seeing someone like Lupita, one of the most coveted and in-the-moment stars in the world right now speak on her love for her hair, validated many of us who may have very rarely felt seen before. Now, don't get me wrong - Lupita is not the only celebrity or person in media to shake up the hair conversation. All I'm saying is it's impactful AF to see one of the most sought-after actresses rocking and owning her hair texture that has previously been dismissed.
First of all, Lupita's natural hair and grace shows us all that simply being isn't always a political statement or act - black hair can be celebrated without us having an alternative agenda. When Melissa Harris Parry made commentary on FKA Twigs on the cover of Elle, she explicitly said, "If we allow our hair to simply grow out of our heads in its natural state, most people will assume that we are making a social and political statement."
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Of course, the first thing I want to know is, can we just live? Does everything, even down to our hair, have to be something to be picked and prodded at? Why can't this be normal? Have Lupita tell it, it can. The actress leads by example and shows us that we can simply "be" by continuing to be proud and unapologetically ourselves. And that the best way to normalize something is to continuously show it without always having to justify or explain. As women, we often feel the need to do that when really, we don't need to.
Lupita is infamously known for rocking a short 'do, however experimenting with braids and extensions shows us that when taken care of properly, 4C hair has the flexibility to do anything! Women like Lupita show us that nobody is left out in the possibility of exploring what makes you fierce and fabulous!
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Lupita's hair brings a call to action for more visibility and inclusivity in the natural hair community. Oftentimes, 4C textures are only shown when they are a TWA or a full-blown out afro. Many women in-between don't see themselves, and especially not when it comes to the big screen. To see someone rockin' her hair and you can see there hasn't been a huge push to alter her hair pattern, straighten anything, twist-out anything, or even slick edges down? THAT'S encouraging for all those that never see that before.
It challenges us to think of "beauty" and what it is for the Black community.
If you want to do something to your hair, cool! But knowing that if you don't, you're still amazing and beautiful, is equally encouraging. We're hoping that this conversation continues to happen and pushes more actresses of color with various hair textures to be represented on the screen.
No matter your hair texture or type, it can always be a bit challenging when imagining how others will view you. That's why it's important for us to continue to champion women like Lupita or Danai or Letitia on speaking out and showing all levels of Blackness and our beauty. That's why we have to applaud and push for more movies like Black Panther that will show unapologetic, unaltered, and unfiltered Blackness for all.
Marvel's Black Panther
And even when you're feeling trapped or self-conscious about your coils? Think of the fierce, badass women in your life who show you that the best love starts from within. That's a lesson we all can learn from.
Check out Lupita's full March cover story with Allure here.
Featured image by Giphy
Before getting married and becoming a mother, Danielle Brooks was just fine focusing on her career.
“I did not want children,” Brooks shared on the first episode of Pregnant Pause, a new podcast for Black women at the intersection of motherhood and ambition. “I was one of those women who believed I was not gonna be married and I was not gonna have kids, and I was ok with that.”
But after meeting her now husband Dennis Gelin, The Color Purple actress had second thoughts about building a family. And one moment in particular rocked her world and changed her mind.
While playing the role of Sophia in The Color Purple on Broadway and playing Tasha “Taystee” Jefferson on the Netflix series Orange is the New Black, Brooks shared she struggled with severe acne and decided to get on Accutane. However, because it is a potent teratogen, meaning it can cause significant harm to a developing fetus, experts warn the retinoid medication should never be taken during pregnancy due to the high risk of severe birth defects. When Brooks found out she was pregnant while taking the medication she realized she did, in fact, want a child.
“I will never forget, when I saw that pregnancy test, I broke down,” she said. “And it wasn’t out of fear. I broke down because I realized I wanted to be a mom, and that option was no longer on the table in this moment. And it shocked the hell out of me.”
Brooks eventually had her daughter Freeya in November 2019, and got married in 2022. Today she juggles her career with being a wife and mother and got real on how hard it can be but how necessary it is to pull back at times.
“There are moments in motherhood, in marriage, in life that you need stillness,” she said. “And I’m learning that that is ok and beautiful.”
Watch her full interview on the Pregnant Pause Podcast here, or listen to the episode on Apple, Spotify, iHeart or where you listen to podcasts.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
"I'm Not Your Therapist": David Banner Gets Real About Grown Folks & Loving Black Women Out Loud
David Banner didn't come to the xoMAN podcast to play.
With his salted goatee and signature Banner stare, he's got the internet in a bit of a chokehold, and rightfully so. In one of the most recent episodes of the xoMAN podcast, the rapper, producer, activist, and unapologetic truth-teller kept it all the way real with our host Kiara Walker. The 51-year-old got deep about ego, healing, and what it really means to love Black women out loud.
And another thing he makes clear? The fact that he's done trying to fix people who don't want to fix themselves.
"Sometimes we feel like we can change things with people. People are grown. That's why most of the things I do focus on kids. Cuz grown-ups, they talk stuff, but done made up their mind about the people that they want to be, you know. And I don't really have time to--I'm done with that, trying to change people and be people therapists," David shares matter-of-factly.
Adding, "This is something that is slightly rude, but I do it a lot. I'll tell people that I really care about, 'I'm not your therapist.'... I'm not your therapist. That one ain't for me. I am not trained for that, you know what I'm saying?"
Can the church say amen?
When Kiara slid in a question about what would make him happy in a partner right now, David didn't hesitate, sharing, "Somebody that wants me and doesn't need me. And that's financially, that's spiritually, that's mentally. Somebody that's doing the self-work. They got their own things going on. Somebody that I can miss sometimes... I would love that."
David, who's known for playing up the piercing intensity of his stare, can crack a megawatt smile that takes your breath away in an instant, and he did just that, radiating as he talked about his appreciation for the way Black women have been showing up for him lately.
"As hard as I play sometimes, I am really honored with the way that Black women are loving on me right now. I act like I'm unfazed but it's sweet. And they're very vocal about it... I do what I do to honor the Black woman and I'm glad that they're taking it the right way because I'm very serious about what I do."
Still, don't expect the Fight Night star to get comfortable with all the praise. To him, it's not something to be marveled, but to be expected. He's a man doing what he feels a man should do.
"The only thing about it I hate that people make it something special when it's just what a man is supposed to do... A man is supposed to look you directly in the eye. What is a man hiding that he can't? You know what I'm saying? If you are a woman, you're supposed to want to be around a man that's going to protect you... So it's like for me, I try not to marvel in the things that I am supposed to do as a man."
And we all collectively swoon.
Watch the full episode of xoMAN featuring David Banner on YouTube here and see why it is this conversation and his particular brand of salt and pepper still have the people talking.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by Erik Pendzich/Shutterstock