10 Reasons ‘Love Jones’ Still Does It For Black Love & The Culture
I must admit that, when I saw thatLove Jones had finally—yes, finally—made it onto Netflix's viewing library, there was a part of me that smiled—a lot. Even though I've personally seen the movie so much at this point that I can almost recite the lines, verbatim, along with all of the characters, I think it's cool that a movie that is—wow—now over two decades old is something that still resonates so much with those of us who were in our 20s when it came out and with millennials and Generation Z even now.
I'm telling you, out of all of the Black movies that I'm a fan of, Love Jones continues to remain at the top of my list. It's so real. It's so relatable. It's so Black. And that is why, when I heard that it was a new Netflix feature, I asked my editor if I could pen a piece on why it's the kind of timeless classic that should warrant cozying up on the couch with your boo, having some of your girls over to watch it while sipping a little wine or introducing it to a college student who thinks it's too old to be personally relevant.
There are probably a billion reasons why I think Love Jones is an awesome tale of Black love and a great depiction of Black culture but, off of the top of my head, here are the 10 that resonate most.
1. The Love Story Is Unapologetically and Unbelievably Relatable
Darius (Larenz Tate) trying to play it cool in approaching Nina as he spills a drink at the bar. Nina (Nia Long) writing on Darius's hand but it being the word "love" and not her number. Darius semi-stalking Nina at the place where she was housesitting (yes, housesitting; she didn't have a job and that is some realism like a mug). Their first date starting off with hanging at some of his friends' house. Them experiencing a first kiss that was so intense that it led to sex—and Darius making an omelet. Darius trying to act like it was all good when she brought up seeing an ex, only to end up going off to Savon about it.
Nina showing up with Hollywood at Sheila's party, getting embarrassed while masking it as anger, Darius offering to walk her to her cab stop and saying one of my favorite lines of the film—"Stomping up and down like you lost your f—kin' bike." Nina taking Darius on a date and then trying to play coy when she was horny as well. Darius acting like he didn't care when Josie told him that Nina was leaving and then him trying to chase Nina down.
If you're a fan of the movie like I am, you know I could go on and on.
To me, one of the best things about Love Jones is it reminds us that relationships are euphoric…and messy…and wonderful…and frustrating. Darius and Nina weren't perfect or even really perfect for each other. But they loved each other, they desired each other, and that combo put the will in them to make their relationship work. Between that and the movie being set in Chicago, along with all of the Black culture nuances that ran throughout the entire film—y'all, if that ain't real and unapologetic, not just love but Black love, I don't know what is.
2. Darius and Nina Remind Us Great Sex Only Gets One So Far
I can't remember exactly where I saw or read it, but I do know that many women have praised the kissing skills of Larenz Tate (Vivica especially shouts his skills out on Sway right here). As far as the first kissing scene in Love Jones, it was so magnetic that it earned an honorable mention in The Atlantic's "Actually, Kissing Is Good" article. I get it too. Honestly, if I had to provide a list of some of the best sex scenes in a movie, Love Jones would go on that list. Nia and Larenz have some off-the-charts chemistry and, whenever I watch the movie, I must admit that it takes me back to some of my own experiences in real life (le sigh).
But about halfway into the movie, you know what else happens? I am reminded of why I thought it was important to pen articles like "Don't Mistake A Great Sex Partner For A Great Life Partner" and "Experts Believe Passion (Not Love) Makes Sex Better. You Agree?". If you pay really close attention to how everything played out, you'll notice that a lot of what Darius and Nina shared was passion. It was really after breaking up and experiencing some independent growth that they got to the healthy love portion of the program.
Oxytocin. Orgasms. Each is one hell of a drug. Just because someone puts the "Boon doon"—as Darius called it—on you, that doesn't automatically make them your soulmate. It takes a heck of a lot more than sexual chemistry to make a relationship work and last. Love Jones teaches this lesson oh so well.
3. They Also Teach Us That Game-Playing Gets People Absolutely Nowhere
I recently penned a piece on here entitled "Women Cheat More Than We Think. What To Do If That's You." As I was reading some of the comments across our socials, I was doing a mixture of laughing and shaking my head (side to side, not up and down) because it never fails—when men cheat on women, they are jerks, full stop. When women do it, there is always a justifiable explanation. It's not totally wrong just…"kinda wrong" (if y'all say so).
Nina, boy. Her homie Josie was her girl and everything, but that advice she gave Nina regarding telling Darius about seeing Marvin to see if Darius would get jealous is emotional manipulation 101. So was Nina going there, coming back and trying to jump bad about Darius hanging out with his something-to-do-sometimes "friend", Lisa. Then, once they worked through that, Nina picked another fight over Lisa calling Darius even though Darius never asked about her kicking it with her ex or her dating his homeboy Hollywood. The games we play, y'all.
Even though the blow-up that caused Darius and Nina to break-up was hard to watch, what I liked about it is everything got out in the open; they were able to take some time apart, process, and come ultimately back together in a much more real and honest space.
Remember in the movie Two Can Play That Game (Morris Chestnut and Vivica A. Fox) where the main female character said at the end that she realized you can't control a man with games and rules—especially ones that you may not be keeping yourself? Love Jones is a movie that echoes this sentiment. Very well. Any time you're tempted to play a game or two, watch the movie instead for a little bit of a reality check.
4. All of Us Know Each of the Main Characters in Real Life
You know acting is done well when you kind of forget that that's what's happening right in front of you. The cast of Love Jones had such good chemistry and dialogue with one another that sometimes I wonder if they went off script and ad-libbed a lot of their stuff. Either way, pretty much every character reminds me of someone who I personally know to this day.
Think about it. All of us have an always-horny-always-keep-it real friend like Josie (Lisa Nicole Carson). All of us have a Sheila (Bernadette L. Clarke) who has no screen saver on her face and is constantly throwing side-eyes. All of us have an Eddie (Leonard Roberts) who is the king of "It's not what you say, but how you say it." And, all of us have a hatin' ass "friend" like Hollywood (Bill Bellamy) who we tolerate because he's funny as hell.
If Living Single is an ode to Black friendship on the tube (and it is), Love Jones is definitely an ode to Black friendship on the big screen, which brings me to my next point.
5. The Friendships Are Loyal, Authentic and Healthy (Except for Wood)
When Nina broke up with (whew, he was fine) Marvin (Khalil Kain), Josie helped her pack. When Savon was cheating on his wife with a fellow teacher, Darius called him out on it. When Wood was the wackest and pulled a Lil' Fizz (some of y'all will catch that later), the entire team let him know how foul he was for doing so. Yeah, something else that I really like about Love Jones is it's not just a romantic love story; it's a platonic one was well. It beautifully depicts intimacy between men and men, women and women and women and men—single and married alike. It's a reminder that Black love has layers and each one is stunning in its own signature and purpose-filled way.
6. Isaiah Washington Was Still Woke Back Then
2019 has blown my mind on a few levels. And while what I'm about to say probably doesn't even scratch the Top 50, it is something that caught me off guard and is relevant to this list. As a fan of the art of acting, Isaiah Washington gets his props in my book. Crooklyn. Girl 6. Dancing in September. Soul Food (the series). Get on the Bus. His bumpy-yet-still-relevant ride on Grey's Anatomy. An indie flick where he was pure evil—The Undershepherd. And yes, as the—at least to me—sexy hubby who dished more wisdom than he could take but was still conscious and woke, Savon in Love Jones. And that doesn't even really scratch the surface of Isaiah's IDMB credits.
But after he caught a few of us way off guard by announcing to the world that he was (what in the world?!) a Trump supporter (le sigh again), I've actually watched Love Jones a couple of times this year, just to remind myself that Isaiah and Savon used to have a whole lot more in common than they seem to now. Savon, talk to your boy. Goodness.
7. Creatives Are Winning
Nina is a photographer. That's dope. As a fellow writer and author, Darius quitting his job to write a book is magnificent to me. Yes y'all, not only were these two lovers both creatives, they supported one another's craft; you've got to give that props on a whole 'nother level.
Plus, the movie offers another teachable moment when it came to their professions. While they were both living in Chicago, I think a part of why they couldn't make their relationship work was because they were still trying to manifest their purpose. But isn't it interesting that once Nina moved to New York to work for, I believe it was Vibe and she thrived for a year, Darius was able to complete his novel? Then, once they were able to scratch their professional itches, they could finally get their personal lives on track?
If you're someone who is a creative and is currently on the fence about stepping out, or if you are trying to figure out if you need to put a relationship on hold until you can figure out what you want to do and be, Love Jones definitely has some scenes that you'll totally be able to connect with; they might even offer you a bit of much-needed clarity too.
8. It’s One of the Greatest Shout Outs to the Art of Spoken Word
I got my start in writing as a spoken word artist. I used to be a house poet at a joint called The Spot here in Nashville. As life would have it, the very first standing ovation that I ever received was for a piece called I'm Single and That's All Right with Me (that's still the case, by the way). I penned and performed it in the fall of 1997. Spring of 1997 is the year that Love Jones was released. Looking back, I'm pretty sure that it provided some of the inspiration that I needed. Anyone who is a spoken word artist or poet (which are similar but not exactly the same; spoken word artists and poets know that), they probably have a soft spot where this movie is concerned, simply because it pays homage to the art form. Not to mention the fact that Darius's "Brother to the Night"/"A Blues for Nina" is a classic piece. It was back then. It still is—even now.
9. The Cinematography Is (Still) on Point
As a fan of film, I really dig cinematography and yes, there are scenes from Love Jones that are truly unforgettable. Scenes like when Nina is riding on the back of Darius's motorcycle or when they are playing Hide and Seek (I guess that is what they were doing) while running on a foggy day in the park. There's Darius as he was chasing Nina's train at Union Station. Oh, and don't even get me started on how Nina has a way of always keeping her make-up looking both timeless and flawless or how, when a lighting team knows what they're doing in the presence of greatness—that would be us—Black people shine on a whole 'nother level.
There are some Black films that are cool as far as the screenplay and/or acting goes that I still don't enjoy watching that much because the visuals are dated, corny or both. Yet although I am fully aware that Love Jones is 22-years-old, and it does have a bit of a vintage feel, it still looks good. The cinematography was well done. Very much so.
10. The Soundtrack Is One of the Best…Ever
I reference music a lot in the copy that I write because music is something that I adore on so many levels. And as if all of the other reasons that I just provided weren't enough of a reason to load up your Netflix tonight, another reason to remain a fan of Love Jones until the end of time is because of the soundtrack. Listen here. There's "Hopeless" (Dionne Farris). "I Like It" (The Brand New Heavies). "The Sweetest Thing" (Lauryn Hill). "Rush Over" (Marcus Miller and Meshell Ndegeocello). "In a Sentimental Mood" (John Coltrane and Duke Ellington). And the song that needs to be on everyone's sex playlist—Maxwell's "Sumthin' Sumthin': Mellosmoothe". And shoot, those are just my personal favorites.
Man. I can't believe that penning all of this has gassed me up, once again, to either watch the movie, listen to the soundtrack, or both. But that's the power of a good film. Especially a great Black one. Good move, Netflix. Good freakin' move.
Feature image on Giphy
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
____
Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images