Now that you're all caught up on the couples who proposed and left the Pods engaged from our recap of Love Is Blind Season 4, episodes 1-3 (if you haven't read that yet, find that here), it's time to enter episodes 4 and 5. The last two episodes of the first batch are usually reserved for the honeymoon phase of the couples' engagement, where the hard work of finding their person over the course of 10 days bears fruit in the form of an all-expense paid trip to Mexico, a step up from the previous season's "honeymoon" arc, let me tell you.
Not going to hold you, but similar to how we did the previous recap, there will be an intentional focus on the melanated cast members and their partners (sorry to these men, Paul, and Zack, and their respective love interests). They might come up here and there, though, because, as we also know, an important part of the "honeymoon" arc is the meet and greet with the other cast members, and since there were yet again love triangles present in this season, Micah might be name-dropped. Just sayin'.
Without further adieu, here's what you missed in episodes 4 and 5.
Spoilers most definitely are ahead!
After the Pods: Episodes 4-5 Recap
Kwame + Chelsea
We have made it to the honeymoon phase arc, where the couples touch down in Mexico after meeting one another in person for the first time and start to connect the dots between emotional and mental intimacy and physical intimacy. And physical intimacy doesn’t have to innately mean sexual, but for Kwame and Chelsea, whose conversations in the Pods weren’t shy about the physical aspects of the relationship, I am pretty sure that is what Mexico will mean for them.
I am relieved that Kwame admits early on that Chelsea is exactly what he needs. He just couldn’t see it in the Pods when he was so blinded by his “soulmate,” Micah. He honestly seems shook that the emotional connection they’ve established has made way for what has been such a fire physical connection.
(L to R) Chelsea, Kwame in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
The post-coitus glow the morning after told no lies. Chelsea confirmed that the next morning when she said Kwame exceeded all expectations when they made love for the first time, “setting the tone for the rest of our lives.”
What I will say about Chelsea is that she is a straight-shooter, and the energy she has was kept from day one, and there are receipts to prove it. Her confidence in herself, who she is, and what she wants are things I could never take from her. Though they aren’t my favorite pairing on the show, I do think they complement each other well, and I fuck with her sincerity. And then it all goes to hell…
(L to R) Kwame, Brett in episode 404 of 'Love Is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
Somewhat.
When it's finally time to mingle with the other couples for the first time, Micah enters the chat, and Kwame seems like he can't break out of her spell for whatever reason. Mind you, Micah turned him down, but somehow he is pulled into 20-minute "closure" conversations with her where she is laying it on THICK, and instead of shutting it down out of respect for his fiancée, that is also in orbit, he is indulging heavy, but that's what happens when your "soulmate" starts saying to you everything you wanted her to say to you in the first place.
(L to R) Kwame, Micah in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
Meanwhile, on the sidelines, Chelsea is externally unbothered by Kwame and Micah's back-to-back pool talks but internally seething, and understandably so. The intimacy, the flirtatious banter, the touching. A lot of it was inappropriate, but the touching took it up several notches in my mind, so I understood Chelsea's discomfort completely. Meanwhile, Micah assures Kwame, "I was all in with you." From what I saw, that was the furthest thing from the truth, but Kwame is wrapped around her finger and all the while jeopardizing the safety of his actual relationship with his fiancée in the process.
(L to R) Kwame, Chelsea in episode 405 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
But if you wanted Kwame to get checked, that won't come until much later in the episode when he and Chelsea have a private moment, and she makes it very clear that what happened between Kwame and Micah was inappropriate. Boundary set. Well done, Chelsea.
Marshall + Jackie
Right away, Jackie lets the cameras know that Marshall isn't really the type of man she usually goes for and would probably swipe away from in real life. She explains that "this experiment has really shown me that it's more than just what looks good." Jackie cleans it up when she proclaims her relationship with Marshall is deeper than that. Still, I gave a slight yikes at her statement, but I think I knew what she was trying to say. I won't go into full detail about Zack and Irina as a couple featured on the show, but when Irina first saw Zack, her energy was giving "immediately no," and she even told the dude he looked like a cartoon character. All I said was yikes.
I bring this up because sometimes Jackie's constant need to reassure the audience of how good Marshall is feels like she is reassuring herself of her physical attraction to Marshall. I think she is emotionally there, maybe even mentally there, but she is still warming up to the physical side, which... makes sense. While Marshall is all "hell yes" in regards to how attractive he finds her, Jackie is still playing catch up in that department. This couple may be a slow burn for that reason.
However, sis wasn't shy about saying she wanted to "test drive" the car before taking off the lot, if you catch my drift. I ain't mad!
(L to R) Jackie, Marshall in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
The pair leave the resort to go out and about in town later in the episode, where they have lunch. "You're like a real man," she tells Marshall. "You're not a weirdo, and you're not one of these bozos out here in the streets." Not out here in these streets, chile…
Sometimes-cringy use of AAVE aside, I do like that Jackie continuously owns the fact that her reverting to old behaviors is a hurdle she has to overcome in her journey to love Marshall the way he deserves to be loved by someone. Butttt, I also say to myself, you knew what show you were signing up for, so why not come here correct versus having to guide yourself to a place of readiness to be the woman you think Marshall needs? Am I missing something about this show, or what?
"I just don't want to push you away," she warns Marshall. I love that Marshall constantly reassures her, but it feels like she is convincing herself a little and also having to remind herself constantly of who Marshall is and what that could mean for her, which I don't know how I feel about quite yet. However, as someone who has also navigated her fair share of romantic relationships, I can attest that there's a little self-sabotage in all of us. I just hope that Marshall always remembers his value because I think it's easy to get caught up in someone else's storm when you find your worth in saving people. And I'm getting that vibe from him.
(L to R) Jackie, Marshall in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
They have cute moments, but it's a feeling I can't shake with them. That whole crying session at the end of what both of them described as "a great day?" I understand having emotion, but it felt like testing and that Jackie was trying to get Marshall to feel for her and with her, but at the same time, keep him at a distance even though he is trying to be there for her. We all have our baggage, and we all have to put in work to unpack said baggage, but at the end of the day, you have to know what's yours to carry and what isn't.
All in all, I think they will either balance each other out or that Jackie will end up being a lot for him. Between the forced AAVE and the glimpses of immaturity from Jackie, iono about sis. It isn't all her, though. I also don't know about sir because sometimes he seems wise, but somehow the way he is navigating his relationship with Jackie feels like it's in direct opposition to that said wisdom. But as they say, all wisdom isn't wise.
Sidebar: Forget my Jesse Williams resemblance mentioned in the last recap. Tiffany says that Marshall reminds her of the Fresh Prince, and now I can't unsee it. I see Jabari Banks, though, more than I see Will Smith.
Brett + Tiffany
Finally, the couple I'm here for. I had no doubt that their time in Mexico would highlight to me, even more, why I agree with Brett in thinking they're each other's perfect match. And knowing the history of this show, I could very well end up eating my words, but ion care, ion care! I am in the moment, and I am enjoying the steps they are taking in their pursuit of true love and the fact that they seem to have found that in each other.
I must say, something that really stood out to me during episode 4 and their time in Mexico is that while many were talking about comparing their ideas of what their partners looked like physically versus the reality of what they looked like when they finally met, Brett made it a point to explain to Tiffany during their date that he had "a picture not of what she looks like in person," but "an idea of her energy in person" based on how she leaves the people she touches and encounters. He reveals to her when he saw her, he thought to himself, "'She's the person I thought she would be.'"
(L to R) Brett, Tiffany in episode 404 of 'Love is Blind.'
Courtesy of Netflix
Sir was fixated on attributes and her aura, and I was beaming at every word. What he expressed felt like such a welcomed departure from the typical "you don't look like what I thought you would" type conversations that are prevalent in a show format like this (and is currently an issue for another couple who just aren't couple-ing in Mexico like the others are, ahem Zack and Irina). Tiffany was no doubt speechless after his revelation, and I don't blame her. "You're perfect for me," she says eventually before he says back, "Thank you. And you're perfect for me."
There's a flow between that is undeniable, and that doesn't feel forced as some of the other connections on display.
Courtesy of Netflix
Later in the episode, it was such a wholesome moment when they exchanged some cocoa butter kisses during their morning after and talked about whether or not he snored before affirming each other.
Brett chops it up with his boys Kwame and Marshall later and confesses that there was no awkwardness with Tiffany at all, and it felt like they'd been together for years. That is how much they just melted into one another and fell into a rhythm with such ease. In episode 5, Brett confesses to the same group later (I love the guys' bond) that he is so happy. He has never been so open, so vulnerable, so feeling with someone before. The power of vulnerability, man.
What a beautiful thing to see someone who admittedly was so closed off initially be wide open in the name of love. Love a Black woman from infinity to infinity. If you know, you know.
Love Is Blind is now streaming on Netflix.
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Featured image courtesy of Netflix
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Apparently, there was a Thanksgiving episode that featured all of the friends having dinner together. And y’all, there was simply no way that I was going to mention the latter without shouting out the original (amen?).
Okay, so with that out of the way — Friendsgiving. Something that I appreciate about twists to holidays like this is that it’s a reminder that there is no one way to celebrate special occasions. And so, if, for whatever the reason, you will not or cannot be with family during the holiday season, there are certainly other alternatives at your disposal.
That being said, if the thought of spending time with friends this Thanksgiving is something that you’d like to do, yet you’re not sure how to host it in a way that will make Friendsgiving a fan favorite for your entire circle — I’ve got 10 suggestions that can make the planning process easy as pumpkin (or sweet potato) pie.
1. Position Chrysanthemums or Orchids for Your Table Décor
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Let’s start with décor first. Listen, aside from cleaning up your place, you don’t have to be over the top. If you put together a really nice centerpiece or put a flower at each table setting, honestly, you’re all good. And if you’re someone who is big on details and symbolism, my recommendation would be to go with some chrysanthemums and/or orchids.
When it comes to chrysanthemums, not only are they a peak fall flower, they represent things like friendship and happiness. And orchids? They tend to bloom during the fall and spring seasons and, not only are they about luxury, certain orchid colors also symbolize friendship (for the record, yellow roses symbolize friendship too). Perfect.
2. Incorporate Scents That Cultivate Gratitude
Speaking of cultivating a warm and inviting space, you can never go wrong with scented soy candles — or at least having an essential oil diffuser in a few spots. Some scents that actually help to bring in the spirit of gratitude include vanilla, jasmine, ginger, cedarwood and frankincense.
3. Use Upscale Paper Products to Dine With
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Let’s be real — a lot more of us would probably host events in our home if it wasn’t for the mess that is left behind in our kitchen once the festivities are over. Wanna avoid that? Use paper plates. No, I don’t mean the cheap Styrofoam ones. SMDH. These days, there are paper (and plastic) plate brands that will low-key blow your mind when it comes to how bougie they look. Some that are worth considering are located here, here and here.
4. Handwrite Thank-You Notes (Use Them As Place Settings)
If you’re like Tiffany (from the HBO series Insecure — what a time) was at that memorable dinner party when all hell broke loose between Lawrence and Issa and you’re pretty anal — I mean, particular — LOL — about place settings, it’s a nice touch to pick up some blank thank-you cards that you can write a personalized “I’m thankful for you because…” message in. Place each one where you’d like each friend to sit. They won’t see it coming and it’s a really nice touch.
5. Have Everyone Bring Their Favorite Homemade Dish
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Okay, and what if what has you on the fence about hosting is you don’t feel like doing a ton of cooking? Chile, this is where the concept of having a potluck comes in. Get everyone to bring the dish that they claim they cook the best and make sure to let them know how many individuals you plan on coming (so that they will make enough). You can even make a game out of it by having everyone anonymously vote for the first, second and third best dishes out of the bunch. Take it up a notch by having a prize for each winner.
6. Take a Warm Drink and Dessert Poll Beforehand
You know what isn’t discussed enough about dinner parties? Folks bringing desserts that other people don’t even like. SMDH. You can avoid this from becoming an issue at your Friendsgiving by sending an email (most people prefer that to group chats; let’s be real — and make sure to BCC everyone as well) asking everyone to share what their top three favorite desserts and warm drinks are. Then pick the top 2-3 out of the bunch. That way, you won’t have a ton of (for instance) coffee cake or apple cider lying around that no one even wanted in the first place.
7. Create a Signature Friendsgiving Mocktail and Cocktail
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Speaking of drinks, another way to make your Friendsgiving memorable is to come up with a signature mocktail (for those who don’t consume alcohol) and cocktail. For the mocktail, you can also poll your friends about their favorite mocktail or fruits and come up with a mixture of your own. For the cocktail — although National Friendship Day is actually in August, I did peep that there are certain drinks that have been created in its honor. Some of them are located here for you to do a bit of tweaking on (if you’d like).
8. Ask Everyone to Share Their “Favorite Friend Quality” of Another
You know how it’s customary for everyone to go around and share what they are truly thankful for before having dinner? Well, to continue along with the Friendsgiving theme, have each person share what their favorite friend quality is about the person to their right. If folks are just meeting each other for the first time, instead they can share what they value the most in friendship overall, along with a story of how it was displayed to them personally over the past 12 months.
9. Send Each of Your Guests Home with a Fresh Gratitude Journal
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Wanna send folks home with a nice parting gift? It would be so on-trend to give each of them a gratitude journal. Listen, we are in some crazy times right through here (at least in the States) and so, encouraging your friends to set some time aside, regularly, to think about and then outwardly express what they are grateful for? That helps to keep stress down, keep things in perspective and it reminds us all to maintain a positive mindset as much as possible.
10. Watch a Nostalgic Movie
While everyone is enjoying dessert and drinks, how about watching a movie that brings back fond memories? A list of some of the most popular movies to come out previous Thanksgiving weekends is located here and a list of some favorite Black holiday-themed films can be found here. It’s a way to wind down and share some laughs before everyone heads home.
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Friendsgiving. What a wonderful way to celebrate your friends while also observing Thanksgiving in a way that is totally on your terms. And now that you know how to put it together, what are you waiting for? Hit your friends up and let them know that, whether it’s on actual Thanksgiving Day or a few days before or after, you’ve got a special dinner in mind.
One that has a good time with amazing friends written ALL over it.
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