Here's something that could quite possibly be your "something new" for the day. Were you aware that approximately 28 million people in the United States alone are currently in a long-distance relationship? Then, when you factor in the 2020 bomb of the year that is COVID-19 into that lil' statistic—unless you were already married or living with your partner before it happened, if you're currently seeing someone, there's a pretty good chance that you are in a long-distance situation, even if it's merely by circumstantial default. Between the call to social distance, possibly feeling leery about traveling, possibly not having enough coins to go anywhere (even if you wanted to) or maybe even only being a quick road trip away and yet still not feeling like now is the time to cuddle up—you might be tempted to think that this will be the worst Christmas…ever.
I'm not gonna lie to you. There really is no substitute for being boo'ed up underneath somebody's mistletoe on Christmas morning. Yet that doesn't mean that you still can't make your long-distance relationship extra sweet, sexy and memorable this year. You just need to put a plan together. I'm hoping that the following 10 tips can totally help you out.
1. Send Each Other a Care Package (on the Same Day)
I don't care how old someone is, if there's one thing virtually everyone likes to receive in the mail, it's a care package. So, let's start with that. If for, whatever the reason this year, you and yours cannot be together, make the mutual decision that you both will send each other a customized care package that will be mailed off on the same day (so that hopefully, you'll both receive it at the same time); then make the commitment to not open either one until Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. While I think that surprising each other will make this tip extra fun, if you're looking for some ideas of what should go in said packages, I've got a few.
- Homemade cookies
- New PJs
- A handwritten letter
- Soy-scented candles
- Favorite smell-good (yours or his)
- For him, beard care products (like the Black-owned company Fetti Says)
- Personalized jewelry
- A mug with a sweet message or inside joke on it
- Sexy undies
- New sheets (more on that in a sec)
- Some "Wow, I didn't see that coming" photo prints
2. Spray One’s Bedding with the Other’s “Signature Scent”
Speaking of perfumes and colognes, something that can make waking up and going to sleep a little bit easier right through here is to sprinkle some of your partner's favorite scent all over your bedding. If that's something you both are totally down to do, discuss what the scent is and then send each other an online gift card (or CashApp each other a few bucks), so that you can run into the closest department store and cop some. You'll love spending a few extra minutes in bed, each and every night, after you do. (Byrdie has a list of Black-owned fragrance brands here.)
3. Stuff Each Other’s Stocking…Differently
Another thing that can go inside your care package is a stocking with your partner's or pet's name on it. Companies like Personalization Mall or Etsy both offer ones that will be more than happy to make this happen for you. Then, once yours is ready to "stuff", put a sex toy in it; one that the two of you can enjoy together, the next time the two of you are together. As far as what's considered to be a great sex toy for you and your partner, earlier this year, Self published a piece entitled, "The Best Sex Toys for Couples, According to Sex Educators".
And what if he wishes that the two of you were together to test the toy out on December 25? Well, who doesn't know that men are stimulated visually? That said, perform a little fellatio tease for him with it. Or, make the request that he pick up something for you like the We-Melt Clitoral Stimulator ahead of time. What's so special about it? It comes with an app that your partner can use to control how the toy works; yes, even all the way from his house. (Girrrl…) Pretty sure it goes without saying that you'll need to Facetime or use an app like Google Hangout (if you're an Android kind of gal) so that he can take in the full visual effect.
4. Enjoy Breakfast in Bed (on Zoom)
I recently read an article about how the company of the year is Zoom. C'mon, is anyone even a little bit surprised by this? I mean, who wasn't on it this year, for some reason, at some point (my godchild and I would watch movies together that way). Anyway, something that you can do to make it work for you this coming Christmas Day is for you and your boo to enjoy breakfast in bed together on it. Again, you can talk on Facetime (or Google Hangout) while listening to Christmas music. Then, you can bring your laptop into each other's bedrooms and enjoy what you prepared together on a bigger screen with the help of the Zoom app. One way to feel extra close to one another is to discuss what your favorite Christmas breakfast was as a kid, so that each of you can prepare that "in honor" of the other (like, if his were chocolate chip pancakes, you eat that and if yours was French toast, he eats that). Or, you can go really bold with the calories and eat both at the same time. #whyTFnot
5. Have Each Other’s Favorite Meal Delivered
I don't know anyone who wants to spend their entire Christmas Day in the kitchen. So, beyond breakfast, do your best to stay outta there. When it comes to lunch and/or dinner, have each other's favorite meals (from each other's favorite restaurant) delivered instead. As far as what's open on December 25, Delish published a piece entitled, "26 Fast Food Chains And Restaurants Open On Christmas This Year". Or, if you'd prefer something that is a little more upscale, go to your favorite search engine and put "restaurants that will be open on Christmas near me" followed by "2020" to see what's up on the local tip. By the way, please make sure to give at least a 25 percent tip to your delivery person (because folks have to work on Christmas in order for you to pull this off). Oh, and if you're leery about getting takeout (you know, due to the pandemic 'n all), check out "10 Safety Practices For Ordering Takeout (During A Pandemic)" for some helpful hacks. They can help to put your mind at ease.
6. Watch a Christmas Movie Together with an App
Even though I personally don't observe holidays (and no, I am not a Jehovah's Witness), something that I do find to be…precious about this time of year is the syrupy sweet holiday films that incessantly come on the tube (for instance,Merry Liddle Christmas Wedding starring Kelly Rowland was cute and I don't know anyone who hasn't come to adoreJingle Jangle on Netflix).
If you and yours enjoy watching movies together, don't let a little distance keep that from happening. Apps like Together Tube make it easy for the two of you to rent a movie on YouTube (or listen to a playlist) together while sharing a screen. You can share a screen on Zoom as well. And, if you want to take a walk down memory lane, as far as classic Black Christmas movies go, you can get a few suggestions here, here and here.
7. Give Each Other a Friendship Bracelet. Or a Promise Ring.
If your relationship is new or it hasn't reached the "something super sparkly" portion of the program yet, that doesn't mean the two of you can't give each other a token of your affection that you can wear all of the time. At the beginning stages, friendship bracelets are adorably thoughtful presents. If the commitment is more serious than that, you and he can start rocking promise rings (if you're both on the same page, that is). Most jewelry stores carry his and her promise rings. Etsy has an affordable collection of them as well.
8. Plan a Vacation Together
Sure, you're physically apart right now, but sis, it won't be that way forever. At some point during the day, while that romantic Christmas music is playing the background, talk about planning a getaway in the upcoming year. As I was recently reading up on what the hot travel trends would be in 2021, some of them included renting upgraded cabins and taking road trips.
As you wait to do one of those things, you know what else is pretty cool? Going on a virtual trip together. Whether it's The Great Wall of China, The Great Pyramid of Giza, or someplace else, there are all kinds of online tours that you can view. And the real awesome thing about this is a ton of them are absolutely free. You can check out 60 of 'em right here.
9. Sext. Safely.
A perfect way to end your Christmas Day with your partner is to engage in some sexting—and erotic videoing. Whether it's talking about all of the things that the two of you would do to each other if you were in the same room or enticing one another with a "Santa Baby" strip tease, if you want to go all in, but you're nervous about what could possibly happen on Al Gore's internet, no worries; there are apps that can totally put your mind at ease. Dust is an app where you can post whatever, knowing that it will disappear in 24 hours. Wickr is an encrypted app that takes privacy to a whole 'nother level. Confide professes to be a totally "screenshot-free" app. So why not, "take it there"—in the spirit of being super sexy this Christmas?
10. Create a Love & Sex Bucket List for the New Year
Fail to plan, plan to fail. Even though 2020 absolutely did not go as most of us wanted it to, one of the best ways to let your partner know that your relationship is still a top priority is to be intentional about setting goals for the new year. While no one wants to feel like they are doing any mental heavy lifting on Christmas, taking out a little time to plan some dates, discuss each other's love languages (including sex love languages) and put a sex bucket list together can definitely keep the spark going until the two of you can be together again.
This holiday season has been "different" for us all. But don't let COVID-19's crazy ass keep you from celebrating your relationship this Christmas. Be creative. Be sexy. Have fun. It's easier to do than you think. Even from a distance.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Tracee Ellis Ross Is Still Living A 'Robust' Life Despite Sometimes Grieving Not Being Partnered
Tracee Ellis Ross sat down with former first lady Michelle Obama and her brother Craig Robinson for their IMO podcast to have a candid discussion about dating, marriage, and family. At 52, the beloved actress is single, but is still open to finding her person. However, she realizes that she has to navigate dating differently, describing herself as a "unicorn."
“I’m a very unique sort of unicorn of a woman, so it's gonna take a unique person,” she explained. "And in the meantime, I've really learned how to live my life and enjoy it and not sit around waiting."
Calling herself a "choiceful woman," she has had to push against culture norms and found that many of her experiences with men around her age were challenging due to the toxic masculinity they had been raised in. Many of their views about relationships conflicts with how she lives her life, so she tends to date younger.
“It's not just that I'm older. I’m also very embodied. I am a full, very whole person who knows myself, who is in charge of my life and who lives a very full, just robust life," she said.
Regardless if they're younger or older, Tracee has made it clear that she isn't settling and won't be in a relationship for the sake of having a partner. Even when loneliness creeps.
“As much as grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner, I still wouldn’t want the wrong partner. At all, I’m not interested in that. You have to make my life better, it can’t just be ‘I’m in a relationship just to be in a relationship,” she said.
Fans have watched pieces of Tracee's life played out on social media and TV. Just one look at her Instagram, you see that the black-ish star lives her life to fullest and it's filled with fashion, family, and all-round fabulousness.
"Even though the grief does emerge, and that comes, and I hold that, I think of what I’ve done. I think I woke up every morning trying to do my best. I didn’t wake up one morning and be like I’m gonna mess this day up. So I must be where I’m supposed to be.”
She added, “And sometimes I think of all of the things I’ve done—the courage that I’ve had to have, what I had to learn to how to navigate as a single person with no one to hide behind. It's built a really beautiful experience around me and I have incredible friends."
The Black Mirror actress has spoken about dating before and has always stated that she doesn't allow singleness stop her from living her best life.
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