Lizzo is the physical manifestation of the iconic African-American proverb: If you don't know, now you know, playa.
Although Lizzo initially emerged on the music scene in 2013 with her debut project, Lizzobanger, she is just starting to get the traction she deserves. By now, I'm sure you've seen this flute-playing, soul snatching goddess on the internet in one way or another, and after her recent collaborations with industry giants like Gucci Mane and Missy Elliott, Lizzo is making a statement that she's here to stay. Not only does she have the confidence of 12 Beyonces, but she has the soul and talent to back it up.
There's a lot of things we can learn from this body-positive soul sister, and in honor of her 3rd studio album release, Cuz I Love You, here are four things Lizzo taught me about self-love:
Be Quiet
Sometimes strength comes in the form of silence. Life can be noisy and things can get messy, but if you have the power to be still, you can ultimately weather the storm. Take it from Lizzo, who after losing her father spent three months without speaking. For nearly 90 days, Lizzo communicated through shrugs and only opened her mouth to sing songs from Beyonce's legendary B-Day album, and eat grapefruits and chocolate bars. During that time period, Lizzo explained that she went through a serious transformation that ultimately inspired her to take her career more seriously.
"Something happened... that just sent me over the edge. I dropped out, flew to Denver for summer vacation, went crazy and decided to become a singer."
This bold move ultimately paid off and proved to Lizzo that sometimes real power is having the ability to hold your tongue. She continued:
"My mom is still like - anytime I'm quiet she's like hey, Melissa! Don't go nowhere! [I went] crazy... in a good way though, because I got inspired. That was a summer of metamorphosis."
Lizzo reminds us that the key to maximizing your true potential could lie in shutting the hell up sometimes! Note taken.
Get Professional Help
Thanks to programs like Silence The Shame and Eustress, Inc., the stigma around therapy in the black community is changing. People of color are finally talking about mental health and taking steps toward seeking professional help. Artists including but not limited to Big Sean, Janelle Monae, and Keri Hilson have opened up about their struggles with depression and anxiety and proved that celebrities need therapy too, and Lizzo is no exception. She told Rolling Stone that initially, finding a therapist was difficult, but ultimately, getting help allowed her to become a better entertainer. The 30-year-old musician explained:
"That was really scary. But going on that journey of being vulnerable with someone who I didn't know, and then learning how to be vulnerable with people that I do know, gave me the courage to be vulnerable as a vocalist. I was so afraid of sounding like that for so long. It's a raw part of me that I didn't allow myself to celebrate."
Walk In Your Truth
As someone who is truly indecisive, decisions as small as what to eat for lunch have the power to throw my entire day into a state of chaos. #LizzoTaughtMe that no matter how big or small, if you make a choice based on your truth, you can't lose. As women, well, as humans in general, we spend so much time trying to convince others of what we have, that we forget who we are. The "Tempo" singer gave us the remedy to how to overcome that way of thinking.
"When I have to make decisions, I always choose honesty and I always stay true to myself, because I know at the end of the day that is what's going to remain. That is what's going to be the legend: That I was true to myself and that I honored every person by staying truthful to them."
Love Your Body, That’s What It’s Made For
No matter what your size or body shape, we're all guilty of "I'm too". I'm too short, I'm too tall, I'm too fat, I'm too small. I'm willing to bet that there is no one on this earth who is truly immune to the "I'm too" disease, but according to Lizzo, the cure is self-love. It doesn't matter how beautiful the product is if you aren't aware of its function and the same is true when it comes to our bodies. Our bodies weren't made for the enjoyment or speculation of others, they were made to be loved, and Lizzo reminds us that we all have a body worth loving. The entertainer told Teen Vogue:
"We should love ourselves first. We should look at our bodies as vehicles for success, and not a signifier of who you are, how good your p*ssy is, if dudes like you or not, or if you can fit certain clothes...that's not what your body's for."
Blame It On My Juice, Baby
As the first plus-size black woman to be on the cover of Playboy Magazine, Lizzo proved that her juice ain't nothing to play with. Although the body-positive maven is now an expert in self-love, her mindset wasn't always this way. In an interview with NPR in 2016, Lizzo explained that unlocking a positive self-image came with accepting her juice for all it was rather than getting caught up in sipping on someone else's.
"I remember one day being like, 'This is it.' Twenty-some-odd years of me believing that one day I can wake up and be some other girl. It's like, you're not gonna wake up and be bigger or smaller or lighter or darker; your hair's not gonna suddenly grow down past your knees. You're going to look this way for the rest of your life. And you have to be OK with that."
Lizzo taught me that it's okay to be quiet because stillness is strength. She reminds us all to walk in our truth at our own tempo and no matter what size or shape we are, to not be ashamed of the ferocity of the juice we possess.
Featured image by Gary Gershoff/Getty Images
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RELATED
Whether you're planning to meet a certain financial or fitness goal, or you're simply trying to maintain and build on the progress you made this year, having something to look forward to is always a good look. Setting actual goals, according to research, actually leads to more success than just playing things by ear. So here are a few to get you started, sis:
(Disclaimer: Not everything is for everyone, so do like my Granny always says: "Eat the meat. Spit out the bone." Take on five out of the 40 and focus on that for the remainder of the year, or do them all. Either way, this is just to get you started.)
40 Ways To End The Year Strong and Inspired
Money Moves
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1. Increase your retirement (or other savings/investment) contributions by 1%.
Experts have found that you could be leaving money on the table by not upping your contributions when you can.
2. Cancel two to five subscriptions.
You could be missing hundreds, even thousands, of dollars a year due to sneaky price hikes and "updates."
3. Create a "fun" in a high-yield savings account.
This is especially important if you struggle with the dreaded b-word (budget) and will make next year's efforts a lot less intimidating. Even if it's $10 a month, do it.
4. Put on your big-girl panties, and set up automatic transfers and payments for at least one bill.
It reduces the stress of managing bills, lessens the chance of a missed payment---and the fees that come with that---and there can be cost savings for doing so.
5. Invest in a cleaner or housekeeping service.
Bosses who value their time (and mental health) invest their dollars into areas where the time they'd spend doing those tasks themselves could be better used to focus on other money-making projects. (And yes, rest is part of that.) Get a housekeeper, sis, or drop off that laundry, even if it's once per month.
6. Donate to a charity.
Beyond the tax benefits, it's a win-win for the greater good of communities you care about.
7. Review your insurance policies and negotiate a better rate (or move on) before their end dates.
Experts often agree this is a small but mighty step to take each year, especially since insurance rates are competitive, you could be spending more money than you need to (or not enough) and your insurance rates can affect your mortgage payments.
8. Call your loan provider and refinance.
As interest rates fall, “millions of borrowers may be able to refinance and get more affordable payments. As interest rates eased down to 6.5%, about 2.5 million borrowers could already refinance and save at least 75 basis points (0.75%) on their interest rate,” the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau reports. You can also refinance student and other types of loans.
9. Stop buying individual items and stock up via going bulk.
Research has found that, among 30 common products, buying in bulk could save you 27% compared with buying in lower quantities. Water, paper products, and baby products like diapers, toiletries, and garbage bags are the top items where people see the most cost-effectiveness. (This has been a lifesaver for me—children, large family, or not—especially when it comes to toothpaste, deodorant, toilet paper, and feminine hygiene products, saving stress, time, and money.)
10. Go cash-only for the holidays.
If you set smart goals and stick to limits on things like gifts, going out to eat, or groceries, you'll see the benefits of this. Cash-stuffing is one method recommended, but something as simple as taking a $10 bill out for lunch, disabling that card for an hour, and leaving your card in a safe place at the office can give you that mindset jump start to see how far you can take your money without the need to splurge.
Love And Romance
11. Say "no."
There are clear mental and physical health benefits to saying no including the setting of healthy boundaries, creating time and energy for other self-care activities, and protecting yourself from physically harmful situations (i.e. unprotected sex or abuse). Just say it, clearly and simply, when you need to.
12. Set a fun, free, adults-only date night for once a week or twice a month with your spouse.
If busy, high-profile folk have touted the success of this, even you can make the time for quality time with your partner. And it's even better when it costs nothing. The best connections are made doing something chill, challenging, or outside the usual dinner-and-a-movie date. Play a game that allows you to reconnect, take a walk in your neighborhood to chat and laugh, or try a little erotic chocolate/edible liquid/paint episode a la Mea Culpa.
13. Go out with Mr. or Ms. "Not My Type."
I love my man, but if I were waiting out for my "type" at the time, we wouldn't be celebrating seven (going on eight) years together. Sometimes having strict, unrealistic expectations for a spouse (especially related to things like height, physical features, or career path) is what's keeping you alone and lonely.
Take the pressure off and explore all your options. I'm not telling you to stop popping the balloon on the guy who earns $20,000 less than you if that's a hard no that Jesus himself told you to skip. I'm asking you to explore other options and see what else God might have out there for your love journey.
14. Immediately apologize and pray together.
I've learned that always being "right" isn't always ideal when you truly care about someone and you're in a relationship for the long haul. Defaulting to an apology when necessary, even when things aren't 100% resolved, is a good way to prioritize peace and save your energy for more worthwhile battles. Research has even supported the benefits of apologies in relationships, and how couples married for five or more years do it often.
15. Get a Rose and discover true self-love.
Do I really have to explain this? You've gotta know what satisfies you, and how better to figure that out than to practice self-love in the bed by yourself? You can also try this with a partner, but as a woman who got on this train very much later in my sexual activity journey. I have a lot more learning to do on my own, and even in a satisfying relationship, I like to find out new things about myself, by myself.
Figure out what you're into, watch what you want to watch, and read what you want to read to define pleasure for yourself. There's a freedom and empowering element there especially if you're used to prioritizing pleasing your partner.
16. Be direct and have the "money talk" with bae.
Money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, so you need to have those conversations before you even think about marrying someone. And true, nobody can predict the future so you won't be able to avoid some challenges altogether, however, talking with your potential spouse about how they view money, their spending habits, and the pain points in terms of their approach to money management can at least give you a glimpse into what's in store if you do walk down the aisle, move in with them, or decide to share a bank account/business/child with them.
17. Invest in the "paid" version of that dating app.
I know plenty of successful, married folk who did this and met "the one" as a result. Let's be honest: The free version is for playing around. I had a lot of fun with my "free" profile back in the day, trust me. Upgrade that photo, profile, and package, and see if the quality of your dating adventures changes when you're serious about finding a true partner. Dating coaches and matchmakers cosign this.
18. Solo travel to meet that long-distance connection.
Sometimes, your perfect match isn't within 100 miles of you, and that's okay. Make it an adventure, enjoy the memories, and book that ticket. I met my man this way and it's been a whirlwind escape ever since. If you're not comfortable traveling solo, travel or (network to plan travel) with a group via Facebook.
Career And Business
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19. Schedule coffee or virtual meetups with smart people from your graduating class, previous employer, or current employer.
I have gotten many freelance opportunities by doing this. It's as simple as connecting and offering value (or simply learning how you can better equip yourself to do so.) It's also a great way to expand your network, spark new friendships, or find out about new job opportunities.
20. Invest in a well-made suit.
I don't care what industry you're in, a suit says "power," and it's not as old-school or out-of-style as you'd think. Plus the whole experience of looking for a new one (or getting one tailored) is fun and affirming. Try these options. I swear, anytime I wear a blazer, I'm treated like a celebrity or boss, especially when traveling. I was once upgraded to first-class wearing a yellow blazer outfit, and the airline professional literally said, "You look like somebody important. Here you go."
21. Volunteer for a worthwhile project or cause that's important to your company.
If you're overworked and underappreciated, skip this one, but if you truly have the time, love what you do, and want to advance, this move is clutch. Volunteering for extra projects got me where I am today in media because I had foresight, and knew that was the only way at the time to leverage relationships, and I was able to challenge myself to learn skills that 20 years later are still bankable. That VP you can't get a meeting with will be at that gala your company is planning, so join that committee, sis.
22. Write down why you deserve a raise and ask for it in your next one-on-one.
Gather those receipts (ie sales increase numbers, KPIs met, deals closed, people acquired via recruitment, the impact of systems updates, or other tangible success metrics) and ask for that raise before the first or second-quarter budgets are being finalized.
23. Instead of quitting, write down your exit plan.
While revenge quitting is set to be a thing next year (and maybe you're among those who will be leading the trend), try the better boss move and quit with a real plan.
24. Start automatically separating that estimated self-employed quarterly tax estimate.
If you have side hustles (or you're collecting 1099 income,) baby, you do not want to neglect those quarter tax payments. Talk to a professional, do your research, and set up automatic transfers to an account specifically for paying these at the appropriate due dates.
25. Sign up for a free one- to 11-week course related to your industry—or the industry you want to be in next year.
Institutions like Harvard University and platforms like Coursera offer free courses that can enhance your skills. You can also invest in certificate courses with accredited colleges as well as tech training.
26. Hit "Easy Apply" for 10 dream jobs listed on LinkedIn.
While you shouldn't solely rely on this when actively job-seeking, using this convenient LinkedIn option is a great way to get into the habit of applying for positions. And if you're already employed, you should still be "dating" other employers if you're looking to make a move in the next six months. Keep your interview skills sharp, practice toughening up for the "nos," and get a bit of an ego boost in the process.
Self-Care And Wellness
27. Pre-schedule three month's worth of massages.
Oftentimes this is cost-effective since some spas offer deals for multiple bookings. Also, it makes an act of self-care deliberate and important, not an option. When you get that reminder call, you'll know it's real.
28. Fire that therapist and try another one.
Cultural competency in mental health support is one major problem that can hinder Black women from even bothering with therapy. And who wants the added stress of spending multiple, paid sessions explaining why something is a microaggression? Cut the cord and move on to try someone else, either via a Black women therapists channel or recommendations from others.
29. Join a small group at church.
Bedside service ain't gonna cut it and neither is going to the usual Sunday service. Join a smaller group and upgrade your efforts to connect, network, and elevate spiritually. Even if virtually, take a step to dig a bit deeper with more targeted Bible study and discussions.
30. Say no, even to loved ones.
This is on here twice, for a reason. Saying no is the simplest, most powerful micro-action you can take today to make 2025 better. No explanations. No guilt. Say no.
31. Choose one "luxury" beauty product for skincare and stick to it.
This was trending big on social, especially for millennials hitting their 40s. There's just something so freeing about not giving in to every trend and sticking to the basics that work, especially when there are quality, healthy ingredients involved. Put those orders on auto-renew.
32. Sign up for a new sport or fitness class just for fun, not for results.
It's great to be on a weight-loss or weight-lifting journey, but try something just for the fun of it. Switch things up with a couple of these fitness activities.
33. Book a staycation.
Leave the passport at home and explore a nearby community or another town in your state. There's so much enrichment in your own backyard right here in the U.S., and you don't even have to break the bank.
34. Pre-schedule your mammograms, Pap smear, and peri-menopause checkups for next year.
Take control of your health by pre-scheduling essential appointments like mammograms, Pap smears, and peri-menopause check-ups for 2025. Prioritizing these screenings early ensures you stay on top of your wellness and make time for self-care in the new year.
35. Cut off support of beauty and wellness professionals whose customer service is below standard.
This is another one that many Black women have been vocal about—from unrealistic pre-appointment requirements, to booking fees, to long waits, to unsavory in-salon experiences. Spot the red flags early, and just stop accommodating foolishness. Support salons or experienced stylists who are kind, have proper systems in place and value your time.
36. Schedule five to 10-minute moments of silence on your calendar.
Again, wellness is not optional, and if it's not on my calendar, it's not official. Sit quietly. Pray. Meditate. Or do nothing. The benefits of silent moments are almost endless.
37. Download a meditation app.
If you've found that meditation is difficult to schedule or to even start, an app can help. Try this, this, or this one, and take that step to embrace something new to enhance your wellness routine. If you're tired of downloading apps, create a playlist for meditation via Amazon Music or Spotify and schedule a reminder to do it once a day or week.
38. Invest in a healthy meal prep or delivery service.
Time is emotionally expensive, so save as much of it as possible. Getting into meal prep to keep to your goals is a great way to save time, stress, and effort. The health benefits of meal prepping have also been proven via research.
39. Create a positive playlist on Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or other streaming platform.
It can be podcasts, music, affirmations, or somatic sounds. It's a game-changer. You can even set an alarm to wake you up to start your day with the positive playlist. Not into creating your own? There are plenty to choose from with a quick search.
40. Set up reminders for Alexa (Siri or other AI) to remind you, "You are loved," and "You are okay."
This simple effort can boost your endorphins and remind you that you're indeed, not alone, and you will be okay, regardless. To set mine up, I simply commanded, "Alexa, remind me everyday 'Jesus loves me,'" and like clockwork she does. She almost scared the ish out of me one day when I'd forgotten the reminder was active, but it was the reminder I needed when anxiety had gotten the best of me that week.
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In the VogueBeauty Secrets video, we find that the popular TikToker’s beauty routine is more than just products—it’s a testament to self-care, practicality, and embracing life’s imperfections. Her balance of natural beauty and thoughtful touches serves as an inspiring guide for anyone looking to elevate their routine.
Skincare First: A Simple but Powerful Routine
Screenshot/ Vogue YouTube
Nara’s approach to skincare starts with simplicity.
- Cleansing: She begins her day by splashing her face with water. "I usually just splash my face with water in the morning," she explains.
- Nourishment: Nara swears by the True Botanicals Oil, a product she’s been using since her first pregnancy. "This is my favorite thing. I started using it four years ago when I was pregnant with my first baby."
- Hydration: For her dry, eczema-prone skin, Nara relies on DLA Real, a German pharmacy moisturizer she’s used for a decade. “I have very dry skin and deal with a lot of eczema...I try to keep my skin as moisturized as possible.”
- Sunscreen: Despite occasionally forgetting it, sunscreen is a staple in her routine. "I made this sunscreen once for my husband...he didn’t get a sunburn that day, so I guess it works."
Skincare First: A Simple but Powerful RoutineScreenshot/ Vogue YouTube
Her DIY sensibilities extend to her lips, where she uses a homemade scrub crafted from brown sugar, coconut oil, honey, and peppermint essential oil. "My mom actually taught me how to make this."
Makeup: Natural, Fun and Versatile
Screenshot/ Vogue YouTube
When it comes to makeup, Nara’s philosophy is all about enhancing her natural beauty with a playful twist.
- Primer and Concealer: A matte primer sets the stage for her hydrating products. Nara mixes two shades of Hourglass Concealer, letting it sit for optimal coverage. “I apply my concealer and let it sit...it always helps with coverage.”
- Brows and Lashes: Her eyebrows, lightly plucked and filled for a wispy effect, have a story of their own. "I remember when I was 14, my modeling agency told me to never touch my eyebrows again. I didn’t, until a few months ago." For lashes, she relies on Ardell Individual Lashes, which "have carried me through very tough times."
- Blush and Contour: Nara admits to having “blush blindness” because of her love for the product. She layers cream blush with powder blush and contours lightly using the Fenty Matchstick in Mocha.
- Lips: A defined yet soft lip is her signature, using Mac Chestnut Lip Liner, a berry stain, and Mac Lip Glass. “I smudge the liner with my finger for a softer look.”
A Personal Touch to Haircare
@naraazizasmith well… #easyrecipe #hairtok #fypシ #homemade #hairgrowth
Nara’s hair journey reflects her resilience and adaptability. After struggling with severe scalp eczema, she transitioned from curly to straight hair to protect her scalp and hairline. "People always tell me to bring my curls back, but they don’t realize the struggle with scalp eczema."
She also shared on TikTok that she recently had a scissor-happy stylist who cut a little too much so of course the woman who also makes homemade PopTarts, Cola, and Cheez-Its, also made her own hair growth serum.
With rosemary sprigs and boiled water, she transforms the mixture into a spray bottle. Nara combines olive oil with clean rosemary sprigs, jojoba, sweet almond oil, vitamin E, peppermint oil and Argan oil for the rosemary hair oil. She sprays rosemary water onto her scalp and hair. Then, she will massage oil directly onto her scalp and leave it on before washing it out.
Finishing Touches
Screenshot/ Vogue YouTube
Nara’s final steps are all about adding a polished, dewy glow. She uses the Chanel Transparent Balm, describing it as a product that “makes you look dewy and sweaty, but in the best way.” A spritz of Fix Plus Spray sets her look, and her favorite fragrance, Maison Margiela Beach Walk, completes the routine.
Cooking, Kids and Confidence
Outside of beauty, the South African-born beauty finds joy in cooking from scratch—a necessity born from managing her autoimmune disease and eczema. "Cooking meals from scratch started when my eczema flared up so badly I couldn’t function." Her 4-year-old daughter, Rumble, also shares her love for makeup, often mimicking her routine. "She needs her blush on, and her eyebrows brushed up...the more glitter, the better."
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Feature image Screenshot/ Vogue YouTube