Wine, cheese, and wisdom aren't the only things that get better with time. For Halle Berry, an ageless icon, time seems to be moving backward.
If someone asked me what I want to be when I grow up, my answer would probably be Halle Berry.
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Thanks to her Keto diet, consistent work out schedule and two small children that keep her young, Halle Berry is our forever style, beauty, and fitness goals. In honor of her birthday this year, xoNecole has compiled a list of valuable advice that we've gotten from this legend over the years and there is no shortage of gems.
Here are four mantras that Halle Berry gave us to live by:
1.“This is who I am; take me or leave me.”
After competing for years in the pageant industry, Halle made it a point to bring her most authentic self to the entertainment industry. Win or lose, Halle has always valued the importance of keeping it 1,000 and recommends that you do the same. You won't be everyone's cup of tea, but everyone doesn't have to drink it. In a 2009 interview with Harper's Bazaar, the actress said:
"I've always been honest, even when I haven't had good times in my life or my movie bombed or I've had great success. I've owned up to all of it. I've said, 'Hey, this is who I am; take me or leave me.'"
In a different interview, the icon kept that same energy, saying:
"I have to live for me. I have to do what I need to do for me, and I have stopped concerning myself with what people say."
2.“We have to own our worth and know our worth."
These boots are made for walking, and Halle says you better Mary J. Blige-step your way out of any situation that doesn't serve you.
"I think when you believe you're worth it, that's when you'll fight for it…When you know that the work you're providing is worth more than they're willing to pay you, then you'll ask for it. That's when you'll be willing to walk away from it if they say no. But you have to be willing to walk away…We have to own our worth and know our worth."
3.“Refuse to settle.”
Over the years, Halle has been part of a number of very public breakups that at one time left her heart in shambles. Ultimately, she decided that it was up to her to set the standard for the level of love she deserves:
"I'm not done with love, but I refuse to settle. I am a hopeless romantic. And I won't stop till I get it right."
4.“Beauty is not just physical."
As someone who has been heralded as one of the world's most beautiful people time and time again, the Oscar-winner doesn't sweat looking like a snack at 53. However, she knows that she is a whole garden, one that must be properly watered and fed in order to truly exude beauty.
"Beauty is not just physical. It's about what you stand for, how you live your life."
"As beautiful as Halle is on the outside, she's 10 times more beautiful on the inside
5."Find the lesson within the experience."
No matter how much your friends and family support you, you can't elevate to your highest potential without weathering through some storms. Despite her global successes, Halle is no different.
"I meditate and pray all the time. The faith and respect that I have in the power of God in my life is what I've used to keep myself grounded, and it has allowed me to move away from the storms that were in my life."
"I no longer scramble blindly through hardship. I no longer emerge from a bad time feeling relieved just to have survived. Instead of despairing, I try to find the lesson within the experience."
6."A small shift can guide you."
If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again with new intentions. According to Halle, the true key to success is being willing to modify your goals and align your purpose accordingly.
"If you set out to do something and you give it your all and it doesn't work out, be willing to modify your goal slightly. Have the ability to look in another direction. A small shift could guide you to the real purposes of your life."
Featured image by Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
RELATED
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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How to Reflect on Your Relationship Before the New Year
Knowing all of this is actually what inspired me to encourage those of you who are currently in a relationship to take some time aside to ask yourself (then your partner) some questions that can help you decide if you should go into a new year with your significant other — or if it really is time to do some emotional and relational shifting. Because if you are indeed someone who uses this time of year to reprioritize people and things, it’s important (and highly beneficial) to know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you’re not just “in a relationship”…but with the right person. Wouldn’t you agree?
Key Questions to Ask Yourself About Your Partner
1. Do We Truly Want the Same Things?
GiphyI definitely think that one of the biggest mistakes dating couples make is thinking that just because they deeply care for each other or even love one another, they believe that those feelings must mean that they are meant to be together. Listen, some of my male friends? I brag on them every chance I get. They’re attractive, spiritual, smart, and make really good money…hands down, some of my favorite folks — and yes, it never fails that I am asked why I don’t see them as options. One of the main reasons?
We are close enough for me to know that we ultimately don’t want the same things out of life — so, why try and “make us gel” when our life plans are different in so many ways…when I already know that, as friends, we support each other’s goals beautifully, yet what’s required as a partner? We would fail, semi-miserably, because we do not complement one another on that level.
So yes, the first question that you and your man need to ask each other — and please be prepared for the answer either way — is if you both indeed do want the same things out of life: Marriage? Yes or no. Kids? Yes or no. A traditional home? Yes or no? Are you on the same page spiritually and financially when it comes to how you prioritize family and friends? Are you sexually compatible (even if the two of you choose to wait to have sex, there are definitely things that you can find out in a conversation)? Do your relational needs “sync up”? Do you have similar interests when it comes to spending quality time, travel, and social activities?
I truly could go on and on, yet I think you get the gist. Again, loving someone is one thing — knowing that you want the same things? That is oftentimes another matter entirely different.
2. Is the Passion Strong?
GiphyRecently, while talking to a client of mine about why she and her now ex-husband did not go the distance, she brought up, yet again (because she is on-repeat when it comes to this topic), how lust was not really present in their dynamic — and how she needs it to be in her relationships moving forward. Even though she’s not a Christian, she was raised in that faith, and so I said, “Why do you think that the Bible is not fond of lust?” (and it’s not — I John 2:16). She didn’t have an answer, and so I said, “It’s because, by definition, something that lacks self-control and you never should desire something that you can’t bring balance to. That’s why I’m a bigger fan of the word ‘passion.'”
Even though passion can be associated with sex, when it comes to this question, I’m encouraging you to go beyond that. Past the bedroom, do you have a deep desire for each other (because I’ve been in situations where I convinced myself that I was into someone more than I actually was)?
Are you both enthusiastic about being in each other’s space and the potential of where the relationship is headed? Do you like each other…A LOT? Is there plenty of affection between the two of you? Do you bring each other joy (yep, joy is a synonym for passion)? Do you almost crave spending time together (not in a clingy or obsessive way; however, are you BOTH intentional about cultivating quality time)?
Look, is love important in a relationship? Sure, it is. However, if you and your partner are lacking passion, that love can turn into friendship real quick. Passion is something that takes a relationship to a whole ‘nother level, in every room of a home — and everyone deserves to be with someone who is truly passionate about them.
3. Do We “Trigger” Each Other or Bring Each Other Serenity?
GiphyI’ve got a male friend right now who is in quite the bind because he’s engaged to someone who he loves on a deep and profound level; the problem is, they trigger each other like nobody’s business. I mean to the point where, if I didn’t know their backstory, sometimes I would wonder if they were even friends, not just based on the things that they argue about but how they argue with one another. I know enough about both of their histories to get that a part of the issue is she speaks in a harsh tone and can be very dismissive, and because it’s like a lot of the women who raised my friend during his childhood, it really gets to him.
On her end, because she’s been a single mom all of her life, she can be very defensive about his insights because she’s never really known how to “loosen the reins” and allow a man to provide leadership in some areas. Yep, as one of my favorite sayings goes, “adulthood is surviving childhood” and sometimes, people come into our lives to show us where we are hurt/harmed, unhealed, and need therapy. Real talk.
Anyway, whenever he comes to me about how he should handle certain matters, one of the things that I share with him is you don’t want to sign up for a life where you are triggered in your own house on a constant basis. Y’all, if there is any place where you should be able to find and provide peace, tranquility, calm — it’s at home. Unfortunately, that is going to be hard to do if you and your partner know each other’s buttons and are constantly pushing on them.
That said, if you know that your partner triggers you and it’s not really about them but some stuff that you need to deal with internally, even if you don’t break up, I definitely advise “pushing pause” on moving forward in your relationship until you are able to get some professional help. However, if after reading all of this, you see that the source of a lot of your frustration is things that your significant other says and/or does, you need to bring it up, and be open to if they feel the same way about you — and then you both need to decide if there are compromises that can be made or if you simply are not each other’s source of peace — so that you can separate…peacefully.
4. Are We Evolving Together?
GiphyEvolving is about gradually growing — so, I already hope you caught that if you’re impatient or you’re with someone who is, that’s another reason to pump the brakes on your relationship because being with someone who is a constant source of stress and pressure, mostly because they want to see things happen in their way and timing, that ultimately isn’t going to be good for either one of you. At the same time, though, there will be plenty of times in life when you and your man will hit a fork in the road when it comes to decisions that need to be made, and going left or right, together or apart, will determine if you are truly evolving together…or not.
What do I mean? Say that you’ve been dating someone for about two years now, and you get a promotion that requires you to move to another city — that would be called a “fork in the road.” Long-distance relationships? Well, statistics say that the average shelf life of them is somewhere around five months, and the success rate hovers around something like almost 60 percent. So, do you and your partner want to attempt that? Or is it time to make some real decisions about where the two of you are headed? Is it time to get engaged? And if not, why not?
Because if marriage isn’t on the menu, does that mean that you both want to eternally date? If one of you does desire a spouse (and possibly children), staying together without a plan ultimately only wastes time. Why do I say that? Because if you’re just staying together without any real future and then you meet someone else who does want what you do, if they know their value (and they operate with a good amount of common sense), they aren’t going to want to try and start up something serious with an individual who still has emotionally “webs” with someone else.
And so yes, if there are some forks in the road right now between you and your man, you’ve got to figure out if you are going to evolve together or if it’s time to grow…apart.
5. Would We Be Better Off As Individuals…Apart?
GiphySpeaking of growing apart, this one really could be an article all on its own because, while people are out here looking for someone who will make them “happier,” I wish that they would focus on finding someone who will make them better — and yes, there is a difference.
An example that I constantly use to illustrate this point is although working out on a constant basis, without question, makes you BETTER — you may not always be HAPPY about doing it. Because this isn’t discussed enough, sadly, some people either ditch relationships faster than they should because they put being happy over being better, or they remain in a relationship well past its time and purpose, and it’s all because they don’t ask themselves if they are becoming a better individual as a direct result of being with their current “person.”
And what if you’re currently so emotionally attached to someone that you don’t know how to self-evaluate when it comes to this point?
How has your spiritual growth been since being in your relationship? Has it gotten better or worse? How have you been doing mentally and emotionally? Are you getting better or worse? Your purpose and its evolution? Since your relationship, have you seen progress or…not so much? Your self-awareness, maturity, and accountability levels? Are they elevating or nah? Are you more financially responsible? Are you professionally flourishing? Your physical (and sexual) health and well-being? Can you say that everything is thriving, or is it stagnating or on the decline?
If you get nothing else out of this article, I hope you truly hear me when I say that if you can’t clearly articulate how being with your partner has made you a better person — not just made you “feel good” but you have clear examples of how you have grown and developed — you really should do some soul-searching on whether it’s time to call it quits. Life is too short, and time is far too precious to share your world with someone who really isn’t helping you to be better…especially if, instead, they honestly are only making matters…worse.
6. Are We Trying Too Hard to Make This Thing Work?
GiphyRemember the engaged guy who I mentioned earlier?
Y’all, in my opinion, it truly can’t be said enough that we really need to stop “dating like we’re married” because it “programs” us into thinking that we owe a boyfriend the same kind of commitment level that we do a husband — and as controversial as it might be for some folks to hear these days, that simply IS NOT the case.
Dating is about seeing if someone “fits the bill” when it comes to becoming a spouse or long-term partner; however, while dating, no vows are taken, and no paperwork has been signed…in other words, until you are married, you don’t have to consider them in the way that you would if you were married to them.
When you are single in the way that the Bible and IRS state (there are no boyfriends and girlfriends in Scripture or on tax forms), YOU ARE YOUR TOP PRIORITY, which means that it’s okay to be unapologetic about choosing what really works best for you.
This isn’t about not being flexible or compromising — in any relationship, that is required. This is about, well, if there is always a problem, you are constantly feeling like you are toiling, if it always seems like there is some drama or trauma going on…at the end of the day, if it seems like it’s just too hard to make the relationship work, what’s the point in staying in it?
Sis, even if all of what I just said isn’t a bright red flag, it’s most definitely a dark yellow or deep orange one because “your fit” won’t consistently stretch out your bandwidth — he will pour into your cup more than drain it (as you do the very same thing for him…that is key!).
____
A wise person once said, “Be picky about who you invest your time in because wasted time is worse than wasted money,” and that’s because you can’t ever get time back (check out “Love Is Patient. But Is Your Relationship Just Wasting Your Time?” and “Are You Wasting Your Time With 'Expiration Dating'?”).
So, if you and your partner truly care about each other, before January 1 arrives, do some relational inventory to see if you’re ultimately helping or harming one another. Because hear me when I say that it’s ALWAYS best to let a relationship go so that you can get to who is actually best for you rather than to selfishly hold on to who you know is…not.
A harsh truth…a real one, though. TRULY.
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