Libra is the definition of love. They are ruled by Venus herself, the planet of love, and they put a lot of focus on this area of their life as well.
Libra in Love & Relationships
A Libra in a relationship is one of the best partners to have, as they put their relationships first in life. They provide a lot of value and care into their relationships, and love itself means everything to them. They love the feeling of being in a partnership with someone and mirroring each other and are the example of two becoming one. With Venus being the planetary ruler of both Libra and Taurus, Libra effortlessly matches Venusian energy.
Venus is all about love, beauty, harmony, sex, creativity, and attraction. The power of attraction for Libra is strong, and this is a flirty sign that doesn’t have a problem meeting someone or attracting love into their life.
There are two types of Libras when it comes to love. A Libra in a relationship and a Libra in a situationship. Some Libras do have a pattern of not committing and having a more flaky or laissez-faire attitude in their relationships.
That’s not to say they aren’t completely loving and romantic in the process, but they may not be the first ones to bring up making the relationship official, let's just say that. On the other side, there are also those Libras that have planned out their wedding day since they were a child and are serial daters. Let’s not forget that Libra rules the 7th house, which is the house of marriage. You will often always find a Libra in a relationship and they are that perfect spouse someone is looking for.
Either way, a Libra almost always has someone in their vicinity, and if they don’t, they won't feel like themselves. This doesn’t mean they are the most committed sign of the zodiac, as a Libra will run free and have its fun unless they are really at that place in their life to commit.
Libra Love Compatibility: Best & Worst Love Matches in the Zodiac
All in all, Libras are the type of partner to wow you. They will take note of everything you like, dislike, enjoy, love, and will make it their mission to provide that for you. They want to meet you where you are and will shower you with a type of love and affection that is truly unforgettable. They are genuine with the affection they show, and they will always consider their partners' thoughts, values, and interests.
Libras are one of the best romantic partners to have, however, read below to see what signs Libras are most compatible with.
Who Are Libras Most Compatible With?
Libra + Aries Love Compatibility
Libra and Aries are the definitions of opposites attract. They are sister signs of the zodiac and are on complete opposite sides of the zodiac wheel. They have a magnetic attraction toward each other and they often don’t know why or where it is coming from. Libra and Aries are very different from each other but they give and take where needed. This pairing is that of yin and yang, and when they are in balance with each other this is a very fulfilling partnership.
Libra gives Aries the love and attention they crave but don’t always necessarily express, and Aries helps Libra feel empowered and focused. Not to mention, they are both cardinal signs and will have a lot of fun and passion in the relationship, especially in the beginning.
Libra + Taurus Love Compatibility
Libra and Taurus is a match you wouldn’t expect right away, but they actually go together pretty well. Being both ruled by Venus, the planet of love, they both have expectations in a relationship that they can meet. They deeply align with their values in life and will bring a lot of care, dedication, and warmth into this relationship. This couple loves to do nothing together or spend their time in leisure activities which makes for a fun and relaxing partnership.
However, their differences arise when it comes to communication style, and Taurus can be too stubborn for Libra’s more easygoing demeanor. They may often question each other and think too much into things which can lead to the downfall of the partnership. All in all, this couple has Venus on their side and this relationship can definitely work and be filled with love.
Libra + Gemini Love Compatibility
Libra and Gemini are a match made in heaven. If anyone can handle a Gemini, it is a Libra, and they would do so happily. Libras see something in Gemini that most don’t, and they are often very intrigued by them. When these two come together, it’s easy for them to get on the same page and they flow through life with a type of unique synergy.
Being both air signs, they don’t take things too seriously so commitment within this pairing may be a little difficult, but if they both are at that place in life then it would definitely be a different story. Overall, this is one of Libra’s best matches in the zodiac, and this is a very exciting, thoughtful, and communicative pairing.
Libra + Cancer Love Compatibility
Libra and Cancer compatibility is hit or miss. Libra and Cancer have a lot in common, however, how they go about things is completely different. Libra and Cancer are both the type of partners to give. This energy is beneficial however, it can lead to some laziness in the relationship and not a lot of progress as they both don’t want to rock the boat. Libra needs love and affection which Cancer provides, but Cancer needs stability and emotional security, which may be too tight-knit for free spirit Libra. Cancer thinks with their emotions, Libra with their head, so they will often have to find the middle ground in the relationship in order to be on the same page.
Libra + Leo Love Compatibility
Libra and Leo are a notoriously good match in Astrology. They often tend to have an instant connection and attraction toward each other, and this pairing can go the distance. The compatibility of Libra and Leo together is that of a couple who are both best friends and lovers. Their energy and connection are unmatched, and they have a good rapport. With both of these individuals enamored by love, they love to have fun, be out and about, and this relationship tends to be more flashy than most. Public displays of affection are likely with this couple, not to mention they often just look good together and are a couple that people want to be around.
Libra + Virgo Love Compatibility
Libra and Virgo are a couple that you wouldn’t immediately think of going together, however, you do see this pairing often as well. What works in this connection is their mindset and modes of communication. Both signs are very logical which makes for great conversation and inspiring each other, however, this relationship can get stale or stagnant if there is nothing else being brought to the table other than good conversation. Virgo requires more stability than Libra, and Libra isn’t the easiest sign to get to settle down. Virgo loves a mission, however, after a while, these two may realize they have more that’s keeping them apart rather than together.
Libra + Libra Love Compatibility
Surprisingly, this is a very common duo. Now, most signs can not do the same sign relationship thing, as this energy can get competitive and to be honest, kind of boring sometimes. However, Libra is the exception here as a Libra and Libra duo is often a sexy surprise. The thing about Libra is that they mirror people. They see themselves in others and will match the energy of people. So it’s not hard to see why a Libra would be attracted to dating someone similar to themselves, as they already feel like they are one with the person they are in a relationship with. Although this relationship may get shaky in the long haul and they both will have to put in the work, there is something enticing about a Libra and Libra match and they are both drawn to each other.
Libra + Scorpio Love Compatibility
A Libra and a Scorpio relationship can be sexy or scary and there is really no in-between here. Libra and Scorpio, although next to each other on the zodiac wheel, have really nothing in common. They are both more relationship-oriented which is a plus, however, Scorpio’s power-focused mindset tends to make Libra’s balanced-focused mindset feel uneasy. Scorpio can be too abrasive for Libra as Libra likes things sweet and soft, whereas Scorpio is all about being bold and passionate. It’s hard to get these two on the same page, and although they will probably respect each other and admire each other in different ways, air and water energy aren't the easiest to come together and this compatibility isn’t the best.
Libra + Sagittarius Love Compatibility
A Libra and Sagittarius pairing is a power couple. Sagittarius broadens the mind of a Libra and takes them places they never thought they would be. Sagittarius and Libra both value their space and freedom, which is why this relationship is full of lightness, ease, laughter, and humility. They aren’t ones to take things too seriously, however, and this could be more of a fling than a long-term partnership. If they do see each other working out in the future and aligning with their life goals, then this will work, but they both need to check in often within this relationship to make sure they are still on the same page and have the same intentions for the relationship.
Libra + Capricorn Love Compatibility
The compatibility of a Libra and Capricorn is better than most air and earth sign duos. This is because both Libra and Capricorn enjoy the finer things in life, and have a refined nature of going about things and about their expectations in a relationship. Capricorn values tradition and Libra values things such as love, marriage, and partnership, which makes it easy for this couple to set goals within the relationship and evolve together. Capricorn may be too cold for Libra at times and Libra too up in the air for Capricorn, but they will find that their weaknesses are often each other's strengths and they can learn a lot from each other in this relationship.
Libra + Aquarius Love Compatibility
Libra and Aquarius give off soulmate energy. They both need a lot of the same things in a relationship and they don’t have to put that much energy into making it work since they already have such a good connection, to begin with. This couple has a lot of fun together and they are also the type of couple to still hang out with their friends; you can find them often hanging out with other couples as well. They are all about sharing the love and this relationship tends to be a progressive one. Libra definitely meets their match here when it comes to commitment in the relationship, however, and it can be hard to define this relationship. All in all, this is one of Libra's best matches for a partner.
Libra + Pisces Love Compatibility
A Libra and Pisces relationship can get messy. There is an attraction there, however, it’s often very hard for them to understand each other. Libra and Pisces both tend to be pacifists and this can make the relationship of a couple who are very nice and kind to each other, but they both might not be getting what they need to thrive and grow together. Kind gestures only go so far, and if the energy isn’t right or Pisces isn’t feeling that excitement or mystery in the relationship, then Pisces tends to lose interest and wander off. It can be hard to keep up with each other and this compatibility will only work if it is meant to.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images
- Libra Man Cancer Woman Love Compatibility - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- Libra Zodiac Sign Meaning Love Compatibility - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- The Sun Stars Are Aligned: The Most Compatible Zodiac Signs ›
- Best To Worst Zodiac Signs To Date - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- What's The Best Capricorn Love Match? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Pisces Woman Libra Man Love Compatibility - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, & Wellness ›
- Scorpio Woman Cancer Man Love Relationship Sex - xoNecole ›
RELATED
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
GiphyWhenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
GiphyAs I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
GiphyIt’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
GiphyDuring the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
____
Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy