I don't know who needs to hear this, but what's meant for you won't pass you by. Let that sink in for a minute. Another woman's bag doesn't make yours any less secure. While culture tells us that we have to grind our way into our destiny at any cost, in a recent interview on Netflix's Strong Black Lead podcast, Kyla Pratt reminded us that there's enough money out here for all of us, sis.
The actress, who jump-started her career in the entertainment industry at only 8 years old, told the host that she learned the importance of choosing collaboration over competition early on:
"It wasn't that bad, I think, because my life was still so normal. I was still in regular school, especially at that age. To me, the fun part was the auditions, and I wasn't really thinking, 'Are they gonna like me?' It was kinda like, well, I like myself and I think this is fun. Let me see if they like me for this. And then I had other little actress friends that I'd be like, 'Oh, maybe she'll get it.' And I think it just helped me growing up because now I look forward to seeing a lot of actresses work."
It was because of this childhood mentality that Kyla has been able to emotionally thrive (even in the face of rejection) as an adult.
"Sometimes, people will be like, 'Well, you didn't get that part. Are you mad?' I'm like, no! I have always looked at things like, it wasn't meant for me. It was meant for them. Everybody's on their own journey. And even if I go through times where I haven't been working, it's kind of like, OK, things are going to happen when they're supposed to."
I get it, sis. You're out here hustling for your piece of the pie—doing everything you can to bring home the bacon (and the bread and butter, too). One scroll on Kyla's Instagram feed will have you questioning all of your life decisions, but she wants women to know that there's room at the table for us all to eat.
"I feel like in this industry you have to think like that because we'll go crazy. You cannot hate every beautiful woman that walks past you, that enjoys what you like to do. Of course, I prefer the much nicer women to book things. So if I see someone who I know is a genuinely dope person book something, it's just like, no, you get excited for other people."
The con of comparison will have you out here looking crazy if you let it, and Kyla says that instead of feeling challenged by another woman's win, you should use the opportunity to champion your good sis.
"I think people will keep saying that to try to pin us against each other and make us feel like I have to feel challenged by this person, when that is not it at all."
Kyla added that while society may try to pin Black women against each other, she's here to dispel the myth that there isn't room for all of us at the top:
"I'm weird because I see people whose energy is off and I'd be like, 'Hi, how are you doing? What you doing? Oh, you reading? OK,' like just to loosen it up. So like, let's chill. Somebody gone book it. You gon' get yo' money here. I'll get my money there. We straight and then everybody eats."
Featured image by Instagram/@kylapratt.
RELATED
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak