If you've never discovered your love language through The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, I highly recommend that you do – whether single or married. It provides a lot of great, useful, and quality insight when it comes to how we love, or show love, in different ways. By knowing your love language, as well as your partner's, you're more astutely aware of each other's wants and needs…which, ultimately, can help prevent someone from turning a "mountain into a molehill".
When Eric and I got married, I remember all too well some of our first Christmases and birthdays together. During the early years, unfortunately, my husband -- and he will tell you -- just couldn't seem to get it right when it came time to exchange gifts (based on my expectations). Eric would wait until the very last minute, only to present me with something that wasn't even remotely close to what I wanted, let alone, what I specifically told him to get. Let's just say, I was frustrated and annoyed and I had to use the return policy on more than one occasion.
I, on the other hand, would spend months planning the perfect gift or surprise for him, only to receive what I considered a mediocre response from him…compared to how I thought he would react. Hence, I used to feel as if he didn't appreciate what I did for him because his reaction wasn't exactly what I expected it to be.
Needless to say, we were both trying to communicate our love based on what we wanted for each other versus what the other person truly wanted or cared about. We quickly discovered that we spoke two different love languages. Obviously, my primary love language was gift giving, whereas Eric's was quality time and physical touch.
In an episode of Black Love, appropriately titled "Mountains and Molehills", the theme of love languages, amongst other topics, is discussed throughout, including with Ricky Bell (member of the legendary group, New Edition) and his wife Amy.
Kevin Fredericks (also known as "KevOnStage") also shares a similar experience to explain the differences between him and his wife, Melissa (Mrs. KevOnStage), and how they showcase their love towards each other.
"We [give] what we want people to have but not what they want, and then get mad when they don't like it. You have to love someone in a way that they understand as love, and what they feel like is love to them as opposed to doing things for them that you want."
Whether it's different love languages, backgrounds and experiences, or different communication styles, this episode of Black Love is sure to provide some perspective and insight on how couples have handled, and are still learning how to handle, their differences in order to make it work in their relationships.
Be sure to tune in to Black Love on OWN on Saturday at 9/8c.
Kevin Says "You Have to Love Someone in a Way They Understand" | Black Love | Oprah Winfrey Networkwww.youtube.com
Featured image courtesy of OWN.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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For the Foodies: Marriott Puerto Vallarta Resort & Spa
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There's no better way to bond than over a shared meal and Marriott Puerto Vallarta Resort & Spa offers an unparalleled dining experience for a mother-daughter trip. The resort boasts Jalisco style ceviche making classes, a Japanese teppanyaki house right on the beach, and it recently launched ‘Las Recetas de la Abuela’ (Grandma’s Recipes.)
Las Recetas de la Abuela is a private dining experience where guests can enjoy the Executive Chef's abuela’s recipes and the heartfelt stories behind them.
For The Music Lovers: Grand Universe Lucca / La Residenza
Music is known for bringing people together and that's why Grand Universe Lucca is a great stay for music-loving mother and daughter. Lucca, steeped in classical music and opera heritage, offers a unique experience for music enthusiasts. During your stay, immerse yourself in the hotel’s Symphony Lounge, where the resident composer creates a personalized musical prelude, drawing inspiration from your personalities and life stories.
Additionally, don’t miss the city’s renowned Lucca Summer Festival, where world-class artists grace the stage each year, showcasing their talents to the local community.
For the Wellness Enthusiasts: Ocean Edge Resort & Golf Club
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Wellness is crucial regardless of age, so why not bond over it? Ocean Edge Resort & Golf Club announced its Mother's Day Restorative Yoga Retreat, an exclusive opportunity for mothers and daughters to unwind and rejuvenate together. Immerse yourselves in the tranquility of vinyasa, restorative yoga, breathwork, sound baths, and soothing massages.
Located in Cape Cod, MA, this resort offers a serene escape, just a stone’s throw away from the breathtaking beach and conveniently located near bike trails. For the active duo, these trails provide perfect avenues for exhilarating bike rides and leisurely beach walks. Alternatively, if relaxation is your preference, indulge in a day of pampering at the resort’s renowned spa.
For the Cowgirls: The Rusty Parrot Lodge & Spa
Get your boots on the ground and visit Rusty Parrot Lodge & Spa in Jackson Hole, WY. This resort is situated near two national parks that give picturesque views of the mountains and offers a range of activities, including their critically acclaimed spa.
After you and your mom complete your hydrating facials and restorative massages, head to Wild Sage Restaurant, where you two can indulge in local and seasonal dishes. Lastly, to complete your cowgirl experience, end the night at the iconic Million Dollar Cowboy Bar.
For the Shopaholics: Bellevue, WA
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The girls love to shop and if you and your mom love to tear the mall down, then try planning a mother-daughter trip at the shopping capital of the Pacific Northwest. Bellevue, Washington has a variety of shopping experiences from luxury goods like Gucci and Hermès to local speciality boutiques.
While you’re on your shopping spree, don’t forget to take a break and admire the breathtaking views of the mountains. After a day of shopping, treat yourselves to a delicious meal at Ascend Prime Steak & Sushi and Oprah’s favorite chocolate store, Fran’s to indulge in some sweet treats.
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