Since the beginning of time, all the way to just this morning (for me), a childless woman has been asked when she will "finally" decide to bear children. Oftentimes, we can't even be out here happy, healthy, and celebrating the fact that we have none without the question slapping us in the face from granny (or the like), who probably had about 12 of them thangs by the time she was 30.
And what's wild is that the disrespect follows us around, where even legends like THE Tracee Ellis Ross, who lives her best rich auntie life regularly, isn't safe. She, a woman with a full career that comes from a legendary family and that lives as fiercely and positively out loud as she does, is surrounded by baby-making innuendos from interviewers who are inviting themselves--and society--to be all up in her uterus.
And listen, this has me mad, y'all. I mean, because let's be real: while Tracee is stigmatized for her choices, childless celebrity (Black) men are rarely publicly force-fed the kid requirement (or at least it isn't the topic of conversation in male spaces), yet, there are pages and pages for women who have been categorized as disappointments for deciding to be without (for now). I tested this theory and honestly couldn't find much evidence to support otherwise except an old 2021 interview with mega-athlete Kevin Durant, who was publicly asked why he doesn't have kids at the age of 34.
And somewhere in the midst of my hunt for evidence, I went from initially being pleasantly surprised by the fact that Durant was even asked about his offspring choices to becoming even more distracted by his response altogether.
It all took place on Bleacher Report's, Chips With Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors. In the segment, while chopping it up about life, Green went right in, asking the usually private Durant, "So, family. You have no kids. I got three kids, and I'm 31, so I, you know, took a little different route. But you have no kids. Why? Do you want kids ultimately, do you not want kids?"
After taking a nervous moment to listen to the question, Durant responded notably, saying:
"That's a big commitment. For one, I always felt like I was just really zoned in on my work and my alone time, and my free time. It's too much for me to lock in on something like that, you know. And eventually, I do want that, but the older I got, I think it's the better because I'm maturing more, knowing myself more, and knowing my situation a little bit more, so I think the longer I wait, is only going to be for the better."
He then goes on to reveal that time has been on his side in this way because he wouldn't even want his child to know what his profession is in order for them to "escape the pressures of being KD's son." And despite the fact that Durant was famously close to family life in 2013 when he became engaged to his high school sweetheart, former WNBA player, Monica Wright, they would eventually go their separate ways, which he was also refreshingly honest about, telling GQ:
“I had a fiancée, but…I really didn’t know how to, like, love her, you know what I’m saying? We just went our separate ways…We was just hanging out, chilling. And I felt the energy. I felt 'I need to do this right now.' And I just did it. I was like…We’re engaged right now? We’re about to get married? So I was just like, cool! I love this girl. But I didn’t love her the right way.”
So far, that's 2/2 mature, and accountable, responses regarding the life choices of Kevin Durant from Kevin Durant himself, I accept. But this conversation is seemingly one-of-one. Is it time to normalize this pressured conversation in predominantly male spaces too? Or should we stop asking altogether?
Watch the full interview below (Durant/Green begin speaking on family life at 20:00):
Draymond and KD Reveal What Really Happened with Warriors Fallout | FULL INTERVIEW (Chips)
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Featured image by Theo Wargo/Getty Images
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