With the open-door policy of the internet, it's easy to bare all when it comes to the insides of our lives. Relationships and relationship endings included.
Keri Hilson has been involved in two high profile relationships over the years, both with baller beaus. And while she said her former relationship with Serge Ibaka was an exception to her rule of no ball players, she made another exception for her boyfriend Ricardo Lockette. And just like you post your #blacklove goals for all the world to see, sometimes people are quick to let us in on entirely too much - like breakups they haven't let their partner in on yet.
We see it often; couples post pictures of themselves in the midst of their honeymoon phase and then, weeks later, we taste the dust in the air when it all crumbles. Privacy is no longer a commodity. Baring it all for social media has become a trend - some intentionally, some unintentionally - but it's more than surprising when others take the high road and remain elusive to the counsel of Twitter and Instagram commenters.
Exposing your life on social media is like allowing a million eyes to watch through the window of your sacred space. For me personally, I keep the in's and out's of my dating life off of social media. In fact, my phone is face down during my interactions with others because I believe everything is not meant to be televised.
My first relationship in college was all over the internet, and it permeated the union between us. Subtweeting became normalized for how I went about communicating my feelings and it usually ended in an argument. Our break up went viral between our friends, and it took me months to bounce back. Looking back, I looked crazy in the Twitter streets. The way we handle relationships in this new era of publicity is a direct reflection of the way we respect others and ultimately, respect ourselves.
Keri Hilson has consistently been a woman of grace when it comes to how she handles herself and her relationships on social media. Although she only showed bits and pieces of her relationship with Lockette on Snapchat, it was reported a week ago that the ex-Seahawks player broke up with Keri via Instagram - and tagged multiple news publications in the post. Instead of taking to her Twitter fingers to respond and expose shortcomings of the relationship, she spoke her truth about the relationship in a subliminally blatant tweet.
Two days later, she posted another truth:
"The root of how we conduct ourselves in relationship is based on our own self-love."
Many of my relationships were mirrors to look into. The partners I attracted were people who tested the way I viewed myself, my self-worth, and the amount of respect I had for myself. How much toxicity, turmoil, or disrespect are we willing to tolerate before we completely remove ourselves from the situations that cause us the most pain? From the outside looking in, the way Keri Hilson articulated those two tweets was a complete representation of her own self-worth.
Unbeknownst to the story behind the scenes, it is still evident that she is moving forward with a realistic and clear-headed perspective on life and love. Our relationships are meant to nurture our inner being. We are not obligated to stay with someone who does not water us or promote the ascension to our highest self. Who we become intimately soul-tied to is a decision we make on our own, and it is one that we need to be able to make for the betterment of who we truly are.
In the era we live in, I think a lot of people are afraid to be vulnerable and truthful in love because they are worried about their perception on social media. Everyone is afraid of looking stupid. Everyone is afraid of looking like they bounce from relationship to relationship after one fails. Honestly, we may be afraid of being shown to opinions about who we are that might rock the boat of comfortability. It's almost as if we're all afraid of the very things that make us flawed and human.
Keri's simple tweets are extremely pertinent to introspection on how we conduct ourselves online during and after relationships. She shows us that it's important to keep your composure, maintain your class, and don't let anyone sweat you.
When you recognize your true worth, the self-love you possess will continue to keep you centered, even after a break-up Instagram post tries to get you off your game.
Featured image via Keri Hilson/Instagram
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
