Kandace Banks Talks Surviving The Toxic Side Of Fashion To Launching Her Own One-Woman Show
The internet has been a global platform for undiscovered artists and entertainers to freely share their talents without the backing of big-budget studios. Many creators have gained Hollywood success by artfully telling their lived experiences in a way that feels relatable to millions of viewers via social media and YouTube.
It wasn’t just creativity and charm that led to their cultural popularity, but their determination to express themselves when faced with life’s difficulties that would eventually unfold into multi-million dollar empires. Witnessing the glow-up for so many online creators, if there was a designated road to success Kandace Banks is forging her own path in real time.
"Thanks, Kandace Banks" is a captivating scripted series with a unique point of view of the fashion industry that many outsiders never get the opportunity to witness. Taking on the tropes of The Devil Wears Prada, fashion stylist turned writer, director, producer, and star of her viral social media-based scripted series, Banks provides viewers with a fashionable account of how she went from aspiring intern to eventually becoming blacklisted in the New York styling scene.
Moving to the city to pursue her dream as a celebrity stylist led to internships with various industry professionals with well-to-do clients; however, we soon find out that everything that glitters isn’t gold. Her boss, Miranda, was the first she introduced to her audience, and with each episode, we witness a whirlwind of emotions, challenges, and pivots that left millions of viewers wanting more.
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Making the decision to leave New York City for Los Angeles after a series of continuous setbacks, she had no idea where her ambitions would lead her but hard work, self-evaluation, and determination have proven that trusting the process is paying off more than she ever anticipated.
Now the star of her one-woman scripted show, Banks' story resonates with not only Black women struggling to find their footing in the fashion industry but also those feeling defeated when life seemingly intercepts their dreams for reality.
xoNecole: You experienced a real-life version of 'The Devil Wears Prada,' where did you find the courage to share your story as a Black woman in the fashion industry when it often feels taboo to speak up about negative experiences?
Kandace Banks: I was so scared, but my vision for it wouldn’t leave me alone. I told myself I couldn’t talk about it on the internet, I would get shunned or blacklisted, but I kept having visions and flashbacks of what I went through, so I was like, no, I have to do this. I was so scared to post the first episode, but I posted it, and it went viral and for me, back when “viral” meant 300,000 views.
My worst fear did happen. [The celebrity stylist] reached out to me saying, 'Take those episodes down. I have a lawyer, and they’ll be contacting you,' but I didn’t take the episodes down. She tried to say she never cursed me out or treated me badly when, literally, those episodes were taken directly from my journal. I would go home and write down word for word what those people said to me while it was fresh in my head.
So I have journal entries of fresh conversations. That’s where I got the name from, "Thanks, Kandace Banks." I would email my entries to myself, and since it was digital, I was able to access it from anywhere. I’d be on my phone writing myself and my email signature was "Thanks, Kandace Banks." So when the pandemic hit, I was going through all my journal entries and reading them, like, 'Oh my God, my life is a movie. I should turn it into a web series and call it 'Thanks, Kandace Banks.'"
xoN: As you’ve mentioned in episode one, you are no longer a fashion stylist because of being blacklisted, how did you know?
KB: One lady was literally like, I spoke with your references, and they said it wouldn’t be a good fit. So the girl I previously worked for was literally like, don’t hire her. I could never do that to another young Black girl trying to make it, so I don’t know how those women could do that to me. How can you not see yourself in me? I was very disappointed when that happened. I sat down and had a self-reflection, which is why I had an episode in the first season where I was playing the angel and the devil in my bedroom.
xoN: When did you decide to give up on your dream of being an NYC-based stylist to pursue another?
KB: Well [after being blacklisted], I got into a car accident, so I was forced to get a desk job because I couldn’t lift my arm. So while I was healing, I worked in corporate, and then I was waiting for my settlement check to come in from the accident. Guess when it came in, February of 2020. I finally got the check, my shoulder was healed, and I decided to quit my job and be a full-time stylist again. Nothing was going to stop me. 2020 was going to be my year! Who knew what was around the corner in March 2020, a worldwide pandemic? I was like, 'What the hell?' I just couldn’t catch a break. I was actually on set styling when I first heard about the shutdown.
We couldn't gather in groups of more than five, and there were tons of people on set. I was shooting with Shea Moisture, and it was a multiple-day photoshoot. They told us we couldn’t come back the next day and that production was permanently on pause. Little did we know the whole world shut down. I felt so defeated and I was questioning my styling career.
I had an identity crisis during the pandemic. That’s when I decided to move to Los Angeles. I thought, instead of chasing this styling career— because I’ve had so many setbacks— maybe that’s not what I’m meant to do with my life. Maybe I’m meant to go to Hollywood and make this into the first Black fashion television series. My web series incorporates all of it. It incorporates my eye for visuals, creativity, and I get to style myself.
xoN: You’ve been able to captivate your audience not only by your storytelling but the visuals are so creative, as well as your outfits. Can you share your creative process and if this was something you envisioned for yourself?
KB: I had no idea. I’ve always been a super creative person. I’ve always been a person who can figure out how to do something myself. That’s how my mom raised us, do everything yourself. So once I had the idea for a web series, I just naturally put the pieces together, figuring out how to make it work and how to make it happen as a one-woman show. I didn’t know I had this in me until I forced myself to do it, and I really surprised myself.
Setting up my tripod and filming was not easy at first, the locations were very public. I was at the Santa Monica Proper, which is a very well-known hotel, and people were staring at me like, “What’s this girl doing?” I was filming at the table and then I would run to the bathroom, put another outfit on, and do the other character. No one would be there with me. It would just be me, alone in front of all these people, filming at a restaurant.
xoN: That's very courageous.
KB: Yes! At first, I didn’t have locations, but then I got hired at HBO Max, and that’s where all the scenes in the office took place. The first time I went viral, that episode is at 6 million views now, and it was filmed at my office at HBO. They told me this office is open all year except on Christmas and New Year’s Day, but we’re open 24/7. It was such a blessing. I asked if I can come in on the weekends, and they said absolutely. So I would pack my suitcase, go in on the weekend, and have this huge entertainment company building all to myself.
Filming in all of the rooms and it felt like such a spiritual experience.
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xoN: Wow, that is perfect alignment.
KB: At first, being on camera silent-acting was really awkward for me. I’m acting things out, but I’m not talking to the camera. It's not like my voice is being recorded. I do the voice-over after the fact. So, being in those restaurants, moving my lips, and not saying anything was really weird and really awkward. I was even consulting my friends, asking if I should move my lips and match them with a voiceover, so it was a real process [of] seeing what worked the best. I finally found a groove, and it took off.
xoN: Do you use a script when filming?
KB: Well, I outline it. I write the whole season in advance, but for each episode, I’ll do an outline of one sheet with a synopsis of the episode at the top with a location and my intentions with the episode. I think it's good to set your intentions before you do something like this. I’ll also have the scene breakdown; I need a scene with this character doing this, and I need a scene with this character doing that. Then I’ll pick out my outfits while coordinating like, if Emily is wearing this color then my character will wear another color.
xoN: We’re all rooting for you as viewers; however, we see you taking accountability and reflecting on your actions as an intern in the fashion industry and how you could have done better. How important are those self-check-ins when things are not going as planned?
KB: I’ve always taken accountability, I’ve always been able to admit when I'm wrong, and I’ve always sat down and asked myself why a situation happened the way it did. What could I have done differently? How could I have made this person happier? That’s always been my style. Maybe it’s because I’m a little self-deprecating, I’m hard on myself, and I’m a people-pleaser. I’ve always taken time to self-reflect, and a lot of times, I was in the right for standing up for myself because you have to. You’ll be taken advantage of, and people will walk all over you.
You have to show people how they can treat you. In my 20’s I just didn’t know how to harness my power. I didn’t know how to stand up for myself. I had a ton of attitude, letting people know they can’t talk to me in any type of way.
When really, as an intern, you’re starting from the bottom, you haven't made a name for yourself, you have no projects behind you, no credibility, so I had to learn how to be humble and learn what I need to learn while taking all that knowledge and put it into my own career which is what I eventually ended up doing.
xoN: What do you envision for "Thanks Kandice Banks" in the future?
KB: I want to eventually have a whole team. I have ideas for branding and logos. I want to start doing more commercials and teasers for each episode. I want to market this as a real show. I look at Issa [Rae] as a blueprint, and that’s the No. 1 comment I get, “You’re the next Issa Rae!”
I think she and I do have similarities as far as using the internet to put out our content. I know someone is going to pick up my show, too, but fundamentally, we are completely different people. She’s not serving fashion. She’s a great storyteller. When I make it, I’m going to be serving y’all looks and editorials. I’m going to do it completely differently than she is doing it. I can’t wait to have my movies. Once I get to that point, I plan to be in my own lane.
xoN: I can see your creative growth from the first season to your current, even in the way you film. Now I see it more as she wants to be on TV! Where do you envision people watching Kandace Banks?
KB: Of course, you know I’ve really thought about this. I can see it being on a Netflix or HBO Max but Apple has phenomenal shows. I don’t know who’s running content at Apple, but they’re doing a great job. The shows there are so good. Apple, pick me up!
xoN: We see comedies, but we don’t see shows that are fashion-focused.
KB: And Black! Where's the Black version of The Devil Wears Prada? Where’s the BlackGossip Girl or Clueless for the people? Not just Black actors but really for us. I want to be the first.
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xoN: Why do you feel your story needed to be told?
KB: Nobody realizes how toxic the fashion industry is. They think it's all glitz and glam. They think it's all about putting people in beautiful gowns and dresses when really there’s politics within the fashion industry. There’s no pay. The fact that I was working a restaurant job on the side, knowing I shouldn’t have been taking any orders, delivering meals. I was the worst server ever. Restaurant life was not for me, but I had to do what I had to do to make money. They [fashion internships] didn’t even pay for my subway tickets, nothing.
I feel like my story needs to be told because it’s really cut-throat, really hard, and it hasn’t been told from a Black point of view. I have such a clear vision for it in my head. I just need the funding and a team.
xoN: What advice would you give someone pursuing a career in fashion or any other industry and not really seeing the results they anticipated?
KB: I would tell them, nothing ever goes as planned. God, laughs at plans. Keep your head down and expect the unexpected. There will be curve balls thrown constantly, but nothing worth having comes easily. Your career is worth the fight. When things get hard, you have to keep the bigger picture in mind and remember why you started, and just keep going. You also have to know when to be humble and take criticism, but you also have to know when to stand up for yourself. There's a time and place for both.
You have to expect to work really hard. I didn’t expect to work as hard as I had to. If you go in with the mentality of having to hustle and grind, unfortunately, that’s what you’re going to have to do. People are going to treat you terribly, but you have to be confident within yourself to know that you can't take anything personal. At the end of the day, you have to do your best work and give it all you got and know that you’ve tried your hardest.
xoN: What are your thoughts on knowing when to pivot if things aren't working out as planned and being pulled in another direction?
KB: I had no idea Hollywood would be calling my name. I had no idea I would decide to be an actress, director, and producer. This new endeavor that I am on encompasses everything that I’m good at. I believe that styling was just my introduction to one thing, and God said this is just a piece of the picture, a crumb of what’s in store for you. I was so sad when styling didn’t work out, but little did I know this would be my story that's going to make it to the big screen.
You can watch seasons 1-3 of "Thanks, Kandice Banks" on Instagram @_Kandace or Tiktok @Kandace.Banks.
Featured image courtesy
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images