Kamie Crawford is not only a TV host, model and former Miss Teen USA, she's also the stylish, cool, calm and collected homegirl bestie that everyone wishes they had in their day-to-day life.
Her positive personality and charming wit shines through in her new role as MTV's Catfish co-host alongside Nev Schulman. Coming from a background in content development for beauty, fashion and luxury lifestyle brands from Swarovski, Lancôme, Dove, and Rent the Runway, Kamie's Catfish debut in front of the camera was nothing shy of the perfect fit for her love of pop culture and investigative journalism. When I asked her what word or phrase she would use to describe her new career turn, she simply replied, "My dream job."
Courtesy of Kamie Crawford
"I truly feel as though I was made for this position, and it's not to sound cocky – I just really love what I do and I love helping people and giving them my honest opinion," Kamie gushes about her new gig.
Being the oldest of six girls, giving nurturing sisterly advice is ingrained in her DNA - though it may be brutally honest, it always comes from a place of love and compassion. For any young woman who has been afraid to chase her dream job or make a career switch, Kamie advises to put action behind your desires and push the fear aside. "My mom always says, 'fear cancels out faith,'" she begins anecdotally. "If you want something and it's more than just an idea – it's a gnawing need that speaks to you every day when you wake up and before you go to sleep, what the f*ck are you waiting on?! You don't need an invitation to follow your dreams. You need action. So go for it, because one of the worst feelings in life is regret."
I had the opportunity and honor to speak with Kamie about all things Catfish set life, shutting down anxiety during the quarantine, and positively practicing stillness. Here's what she had to say.
Being the Hostess With the Mostest
Courtesy of Kamie Crawford
As a fan of the show since the original documentary's premiere at Sundance Film Festival, Kamie Crawford has been a faithful fan of the eight-season series and knew that the opportunity felt right from the beginning. Kamie practiced the art of manifestation and hard work to achieve her results, which were also sought after by other auditioning contenders for the role of Nev's new catfish-busting buddy.
Though she knew she had the credentials and the talent, like any other human being, her doubts and nerves came and went, but did not allow herself to be defeated by situations that had not yet arisen. "I didn't want to get my hopes up though because there were great hosts in the running for the position and after working in hosting for 7 years before this opportunity came about, you kind of learn to not get your hopes up in entertainment," Kamie explains.
"But something told me that this was my opportunity and if I wanted it, I needed to manifest it and speak life into it."
The life of this body positive advocate on-set varies depending upon the episode, as one would expect, but she enjoys every moment of being in her manifested destiny, from chilling with Nev and the gang to reading emails from their newest hopeful. "Everything you see as you watch an episode is in the order as it happened and in 'real-time'. There are no reshoots," she explains. "We will film for 7 hours per day and if travel is necessary, we will spend a day doing that and pick back up with filming in our new destination. Each episode takes around 3-5 days to film, depending and it's never boring."
It's not all work and no play, though. Kamie goes onto talk about cherishing the bonding moments between herself, Nev and the rest of the team between takes. "We typically will start at our production offices and film as we hang out, eat breakfast, etcetera. We like to make time for crew dinners and fun activities during the evenings – if I'm not fast asleep post-filming, I'm with Nev and the crew hanging out!"
Embracing the Slow Life
Courtesy of Kamie Crawford
Unfortunately, due to the COVID-19 pandemic sweeping the nation and large crowds being forbidden, stay-at-home orders have greatly affected those in the entertainment industry requiring shoots, reunion filmings and audience gatherings. For Kamie, a woman who is constantly on-the-go between creating dope content and being one of MTV's newest faves to hit the screen, quarantine has been a hit or miss for her newly adjusted style of living. "It has been really hard. [It's] definitely getting better though, and there are good days and bad days! I'm a homebody as is so I try to take time off for myself in between all of my work responsibilities. While I have zero routine in my quarantine life, my normal life is actually very routine," Kamie describes.
Most of us, especially as creatives, are teetering between thankful thoughts of resting everyday and being ansty from developing stage one of stir crazy, Kamie is strategically utilizing her time indoors to practice stillness throughout the government issued stay-at-home orders. While a lot of us, myself included, are using this time to shove everything into this quarantine period that we never had time for prior to, Kamie believes that everyone should just do what's best for them and not fall victim to the pressures of social media. "Even outside of quarantine, social media will make you believe that everyone is busier, more fit, more beautiful and more motivated than you are. Everyone is perfect and they have the handbook for 'How to Deal with Quarantine During A Pandemic' that the rest of us just didn't get. Trust me - I checked my mailbox – twice. It ain't in there," Kamie facetiously adds.
"There is so much pressure right now to be your best self during quarantine and accomplish all of the big and little tasks you put off up until now. I'm a person who if it doesn't feel good to me, I'm not doing it. As a Scorpio - I'm either all in, or I'm out. That's how I feel about creating during this time. It just doesn't feel right. I've postponed campaigns because advertising anything right now that doesn't directly benefit those who are suffering or our essential workers gives me the ick. No shade to anyone who is – I know influencers still have to work and earn a living, but for me, that just isn't where my heart is right now."
Mastering the Art of Self-Care
Courtesy of Kamie Crawford
When she's not mastering her new craft in the kitchen, Kamie takes time to turn her attention to work obligations, but fortunately, none of which require immediate responses or assistance. Clearing out her inbox one email at a time is a small form of self-care that she integrates into her newly acclimated work from home routine. "[I've been] sending a lot of, 'Sorry for the delayed response, been taking time away for my mental health' replies – and I think people understand because everyone is dealing with the same thing right now. "
When it comes down to a 'routine' for working from home, I think we can all safely admit that none of us have the exact formula that works for us everyday. Kamie herself admits that taking everything day-by-day and taking care of her mental health is a priority during the quarantine, even if it means praying, crying, watching Netflix as soon as she wakes up or all of the above. "Each day is different and I try to go into each morning with a refreshed and positive outlook. I want to try staying away from the news updates, but I also feel that knowledge is power. It's just difficult because the news changes every hour it seems like," Kamie tells me.
"I've been giving myself permission to wake up naturally, which helps a lot during this chaotic time. Sometimes the body's best way of healing is through resting. I'm not going to lie – I've been getting out of bed when I feel like it and just taking it from there. If I want to work out or go for a walk, I'll do that. If I want to lay in bed and watch funny Tik Toks until 2pm, I'll do that. I haven't gotten into the habit of creating a 'routine' during this quarantine yet, and I'm perfectly fine with that as of now."
Her mental health takes precedence and priority as she combats the anxiety linked to the pressures of "staying on top" everyday, even with our limited resources. "My anxiety has been through the roof, but I notice that it worsens when I'm being told or made to feel like I'm not doing enough," Kamie confides in the interview, as are most of us being pressured into feeling, thanks to our dear friend Imposter Syndrome. "If you're going through something similar, I recommend unfollowing that account for now or telling that person, 'Hey, I know you mean well and appreciate your suggestion because that's what works for you. I'm going to focus on doing whatever works for me at this time.'"
For those of us who haven't necessarily put ourselves, including mind and spirit, on the forefront of our agenda, now is the time to monitor your mental health. "So much is happening in the world, and for people who have already been struggling with mental health issues, this time can be even more triggering. I've been waking up each morning and thanking God for letting me see another day, keeping my loved ones safe and healthy, thanking Him for my health and just acknowledging the fact that I am OK, and that's a blessing within itself," she praises.
For more of Kamie, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Kamie Crawford
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
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Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Geeze. Even as I’m typing this out, I’m embarrassed to admit that I have seen even more than one episode. What got me to check it out initially was hearing so many people talk about the Michael, Meagan, and Sarah nonsense from several years back. And you know what? I don’t care if it was way back then or when I will watch a few minutes while channel surfing now, if there’s one thing that I’m always saying (sometimes even out loud) is I get why a lot of people “fall” for inmates: when individuals are in a controlled environment, you can constantly account for their time, you can get most of their attention — they are willing to say and do almost whatever you wish.
And for a control freak, that is a relational wet dream. Unfortunately, then, once the inmate is released, they go from dealing with correctional officers in jail (or prison) to relationship wardens. What I mean by that is, instead of them being closely monitored while in custody, now the person who they “dated” while they were locked up seems to act as if it is their job to put themselves in the same position as the officers.
A great example of this? GOING THROUGH SOMEONE’S PHONE WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION. And although it’s so common that one survey reported that 56 percent of women and 44 percent of men do it (more women than men…hmm…), while another stated that a whopping 71 percent of folks said that they use their partner’s phone without them knowing (hell, 21 percent professed to doing it often too) — let me put it to you this way: I wonder how many people know that it’s a practice that the law actually frowns upon.
Don’t believe me? Take a few moments to scroll through this article a bit more. Please let it serve as a PSA that just because something is popular, that doesn’t make it legal or right. And honestly, when it comes to preserving your relationship, it’s not the wisest move in that department either. Not at all.
First Up: Going Through His Phone, Without His Permission, Is Actually Illegal
@feistyaquarius Here is a checklist to make sure you didn’t miss one inch of that 📱 - settings (passcode) -imessages ( groupchats, msgs with friends ( guy names too check them) - whatsapp -telegram -GPS - call logs -photos ( RECENTLY DELETEDS FOR ALL APPS -instagram -fb msgs -snapchat ! -DROPBOX -emails -cash app (apple pay transactions) #fyp #iphonetips #parentsoftiktok #relationships
That, umm, presentation is from feistyaquarius on TikTok. Although there were a few times when I was like, “Girl, what?” as I was watching it, I can’t really say that I was shocked overall because there are TONS (I’m not exaggerating either) of other social media posts that are very similar to it. It’s like people have made a science out of coming up with ways of going through someone’s phone without them knowing. And here’s the thing about that — it is actually illegal.
According to a law firm’s website that I checked out on the topic, “The Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA) is a federal law that makes it a crime to access someone else’s private communications without permission. It covers cell phones, computer use, email, social media accounts, and other types of electronic communications.”
The act itself, you can read more about here, here, and here; however, as it relates to the day-to-day things of everyday relationships, that act is relevant in the sense that it doesn’t matter if you are dating someone, engaged or even married to them, if you are going through their phone (or texts or emails) without their knowledge and consent, you are not only invading their privacy, you are breaking the law.
Adding to that, if you go through a device that is password protected without their permission, that is considered to be a form of illegal spying.
GiphyAnd here’s the thing: whether you’re keylogging (using software to track what someone is doing on their computer), using spyware to monitor someone’s phone activity, you’ve put a GPS tracking device on their phone or even downloaded an app that keeps up with what they are doing on social media, based on where you live and what you end up doing with the information after getting it, if you get reported or caught, the consequences could be anything from a fine to actual jail time. And what if you’re doing this to see if your spouse is cheating on you?
From what I’ve read and researched there, that’s not gonna be very helpful for you either because many judges will see you as being controlling and/or intrusive and/or problematic. Plus, since many divorces can be entered in as a “no-fault” one, proof of infidelity won’t benefit you much anyway.
So basically, while you’re out here listening to TikTok detectives and their literal phone hack tips, I don’t even know if they’re aware that they’re encouraging you to low-key break the law — and possibly ruin your relationship in the process.
Strictly from the relationship standpoint, here’s why I say that…
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Sign of Distrust (and Disrespect)
GiphyPersonally, I never have been the kind of person who likes to snoop around people’s things. One reason is because I lived with a parent who moved that way (reading my diary and journals and everything). Another is because…I just think it’s disrespectful as hell. I mean, even when a friend’s phone rings or a notification goes off, and I’m closer to their phone than they are, and so they ask me to pass it to them, I will turn the face of the phone down and hand it over. Whatever they’ve got going on on their phone is their business.
And when it comes to past relationships, I honestly feel the same way. Just because we are together, it doesn’t mean that my partner doesn’t have their own identity and right to privacy.
Besides, if I feel like I need to know your every move, that means that either I don’t trust you and/or I want to run you on some level —and both of those things are toxic ways to deal with a relationship. And before one of y’all says, “Oh, I trust him, I just don’t trust who may be trying to communicate with him,” — can we please retire that tired saying once and for all?
If you actually trust your partner, other people don’t matter. They have enough self-control and integrity to handle themselves and whatever is transpiring accordingly. In other words, trusting them is all that you need to be concerned about. Period.
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Sign of Control
GiphyJealousy is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. Constantly “making” someone earn your trust is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. Treating someone like they are guilty until they prove to you that they are innocent is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. Gaslighting someone into violating their own boundaries in order to please you is a sign of being controlling in a relationship.
Pulling accusations and presumptions out of thin air is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. Feeling like you should know any and everything “just because” is a sign of being controlling in a relationship. And when you go through your partner’s phone without them knowing about it, pretty much all of these signs are being manifested in that action — one way or another. And who wants to be around a controlling type of individual?
There is no real-time or space to get into all of the reasons why someone is a controlling person. For now, what I will say is many people move like that because A) it was modeled to them while growing up; B) they have very low self-esteem, so they are insecure, and/or C) they seem to think that they should parent their partner (which is also toxic as hell).
A mental health expert by the name of Robin Skynner once said, “If people can’t control their own emotions, they then have to try to start to control other people’s behavior.” This basically means that controlling people need to control themselves instead of trying to control others — and what that basically boils down to is they need to be alone…until/unless they do.
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Sign of Hypocrisy
GiphyOkay, please tell me that you noticed the part of the TikTok up top when she said that she is gonna go through her man’s phone regardless, “So long as he doesn’t go through my phone.” Umm, you know what that kind of mentality is defined as being, right? It’s sho ‘nuf a hypocrite because a hypocrite is someone who says one thing and then turns around and does something different.
And honestly, when it comes down to it, I’m with playwright Tennessee Williams when he once said, “The only thing worse than a liar is a liar that's also a hypocrite!” because a hypocrite is not only arrogant and delusional enough to hold you to a standard that they don’t hold their own selves to, they also tend to lie to themselves as much as they lie to you in order to justify being that way.
Think about it: how is it that you feel that you have the right to violate someone else’s privacy and yet if the shoe were on the other foot, now it’s a problem? It’s basically because you know that all of it is wrong, and yet you’re okay being a walking contradiction. And anyone who is alright with twisting the truth like that, they aren’t someone who anyone should think is long-term relationship material. I am absolutely not budging on that conclusion, either.
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Sign of Liking (Potential) Drama
GiphyI’ve shared before that a Black series that I heard about late in the game and then binge-watched and enjoyed isChef Julian. While preparing to pen this, I thought about one of the issues that Julian had with his first love, who he was constantly on and off with (Mo), was that she was a snooper (one example starts at the 7:40 mark of this episode here). She was sneaking around when he wasn’t looking, all the while trying to see what was transpiring via the smartphone that he pays the bill for.
And here’s the thing about that: the fact that she’s lurking like that proves that she knows that she’s totally out of pocket. Yet besides that, say that she does find that he’s liking pics on Instagram (some of y’all really need to relax on that), that he’s talking to women that she doesn’t know, or even that he’s seeing someone else. You snuck around to find out, so…now what? You’re going to go off on him for not being able to trust him, and your evidence of that comes from you doing something that shows that he really shouldn’t trust you, either?
Hmph. Sounds like nothing but the onset of a lot of drama to me — and as an article that I once read on CNBC about dramatic people, three clear signs of being full of drama are they always move with a sense of urgency and they like to focus on negative (or potentially negative) things — oh, and they always want to be in control. Yep, in their own “special” way, dramatic people are control freaks.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? That if I sense something is up that I go into denial mode? No. However, if you can’t simply talk to your partner and/or you’d prefer to be a bootleg Inspector Gadget, that either means that your relationship has a lot more issues than your suspicions OR that you like drama and you’re trying to feed your appetite. Which is it, sis?
Going Through Your Partner’s Phone Is a Relational Red Flag (on Your Part)
GiphyIn BetterUp’s article from earlier this year, “16 red flags in a relationship to look out for,” some signs that stood out to me included overly controlling behavior; lack of respect or trust; conflict avoidance; lack of emotional intelligence, and an inability to communicate openly. And y’all, if you think about people who sneak into other people’s phones — how are these things not ultimately evident in their actions?
Also, if you want to give me pushback on that, if someone did any of this to you, would you not wonder the same thing about them? Would you not say that they are clear relational red flags? And, if someone were to ignore these kinds of flags, how foolish would they be to 1) stick around and/or 2) act shocked if things didn’t ultimately escalate?
Listen, it really should be enough that going through your partner’s phone without their permission is breaking the law yet, after all of what I said, if you don’t respect or trust them or you would rather sneak around than have a real and frank conversation, one way or another, your relationship is far more unstable and unhealthy than you think — whether they have something going on in their phone or not.
Bottom line, before trying to press your partner’s finger onto their phone while they are sleeping or downloading an app that hacks into their intel, ask yourself how you would feel if they did the same thing to you (BE HONEST) and then really ponder why you think that is the right/wise/smart move in the first place.
Personally, I don’t think any type of violation is a form of love. And as I tried to display here, almost ad nauseam, going through someone’s phone without their permission is a solid example of that.
And what if after reading all of this, you couldn’t care less? I say this in love, but you’ve got more internal red flags going on than you might think — and as a wise person once said, “I think my problem is, I like to see how red the flag can get.”
You wanna know what’s going on? ASK.
You don’t believe them? SHIFT.
Hacking isn’t the answer, though. Legally or otherwise. Ever.
Respect you and them enough to accept that. Fully.
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Featured image by Peter Cade/Getty Images