How Vice President Kamala Harris Is Revitalizing The 2024 Presidential Election
The night is Thursday, and the evening sky crumbles into a harmonious fusion of yellow and crimson. I and many others scurry out of a mansion on the West Side of Chicago, where we watched an intimate candlelight quartet performance, a tribute to Tracy Chapman.
I called a Lyft and smiled to myself as I thought about the wonderful birthday gift I had been given. Though, the thought was short-lived when I noticed the time. It was about to begin soon, and this bubbly feeling--this sense of relaxation--would inevitably dissipate in the presence of my "civic responsibility." My biggest annoyance.
I put on my headphones and climbed into the car that abruptly stopped in front of me. It's June 27. As I take a deep breath, I join the millions of viewers who are displeased, thwarted, and possibly haunted by what November holds and what the next four years could become. We don't want either candidate and after twenty minutes of listening to the first debate of this year's presidential election, I finally feel the sting of its doubled edge. It was a mess. Trump lied the entire time and claimed a yesteryear none of us ever saw. Biden couldn't complete a thought, which confirmed Robert Hur's assessment of him as an "elderly man with a poor memory."
We were--as the kids would say---"cooked."
From there on, every discussion on the election was more dreadful than the last. Every appearance Biden and Trump made was more debilitating than the other. Trump made fun of Biden's age. Biden called Ukraine's president "President Putin" and Trump his VP. Trump was almost assassinated and called it "divine intervention." The Republicans cheered for their "inevitable" win. The Democrats began infighting and called for a redo that many weren't sure they'd ever see. And in the midst of all of this, the American people--myself included--just grew... enervated.
A month had passed, and this indefatigable election barely had an ounce of life left to live, and it continuously asked for more with every news report. At this time, millions of Americans began considering their roles in the upcoming election. Many refused to give it any more energy, which included their vote. They hadn't been listening anyway.
That is, until they did. After years of being starved for another option, a candidate arose from the ashes of her predecessor. And although it wasn't (isn't) pretty, Vice President Kamala Harris' ascent has started looking like the green light at the end of the lake. Instead of enduring weeks of discord and egocentrism, Americans have been urged to come together and cooperate to obtain a shared common goal. Harris arrived on the presidential walkway with her hand held out and many were so broken and bent, it seemed the inevitable option.
Like a call to the chants of former President Barack Obama's 2008 "Yes We Can," Harris has encouraged Americans to find unity in the Divided States of America. This revival has many people displaying a more optimistic outlook towards the 2024 election.
Though the road in the final 100 days won't be easy, Harris has given many people cause for optimism over what the next four years can be. With the chances of her becoming the first female president who is Black and Asian, the country that once began embracing inclusion, diversity, and progression may return.
At an Indianapolis event in late July, Harris spoke to members of the historically Black sorority Zeta Phi Beta, saying, "In this moment, I believe we face a choice between two different visions for our nation: one focused on the past. And I am fighting for the future of our country with your support."
Here's how she plans to do that:
Inspiring the Young Voter
Democratic presidential candidate, U.S. Vice President Kamala Harris speaks onstage at her campaign rally at the Georgia State Convocation Center on July 30, 2024, in Atlanta, Georgia.
Julia Beverly/Getty Images
In 2020, the Biden-Harris campaign was known for inspiring young voters and voters of color. So much so, that young voters and Black voters were seen as the biggest contributors to Biden's presidential win. However, in 2024, this reality had quickly become inverted. Despite the fact that most of his policies catered to young voters, Biden found it difficult to connect with them, and this issue only persisted as the months continued to drag on. Instead of inspiring young voters to run to the polls, his campaign was thought to inspire young voters to "remain on the couch."
Nevertheless, since Harris has taken over the campaign, she has seen a spark in young voters that Biden and Trump have struggled to ignite since announcing their reelection bids. Voter registration has increased immensely since Harris entered the race, and according to the NYT/Siena College poll, Harris leads Trump by nearly 20 points among registered voters under 30.
In Harris' virtual address to the Voters of Tomorrow summit, Harris claimed, “In this election, we know young voters will be key, and we know your vote cannot be taken for granted. It must be earned, and that is exactly what we will do."
Using Meme and Gen Z Culture
Speaking of inspiring the young voter, Harris' campaign seems to focus on Generation Z, specifically. After Biden's withdrawal from the campaign, his TikTok account shifted to Harris, and upon announcing her candidacy, the number of followers rose from 440,000 to 2.7 million. As a result, many young voters have started engaging with the campaign in a more positive manner.
Starting with British pop star Charli XCX, Harris blew up on social media when the icon coined "Kamala IS brat," a reference to her music's carefree nature and being your own authentic self. As a result, the campaign embraced the title and created videos that leaned into a more insouciant, awkward, and exuberant Harris, which has bemused media commentators, yet reinvigorated young voters.
@kamalaharris Thought it was about time to join!
Groups like The Sunrise Movement and NextGen America have noted an increase in volunteers eager to assist with community outreach and an increase in community and campaign communications, respectively. Harris spent two weeks as a viral, internet sensation, showing up on multiple timelines and stories with her coconut tree memes and viral video edits set to Chappell Roan's "Femininomenon" or Beyoncé's "Freedom." Her social media accounts -- including her personal account, which gained 4 million followers--have received 70 million engagements, with nearly 55 million views on TikTok.
Not to mention, Harris has received several endorsements from celebrities and icons like Barack and Michelle Obama, Rosie O'Donnell, Shonda Rhimes, Cardi B, Megan Thee Stallion, Barbra Streisand, George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, Janelle Monáe, John Legend, Carol King, Kerry Washington, and more, gaining some of their follower support.
Looking Towards the Future
Since 2016, Donald Trump has gained popularity by calling on the grievances of others, who remember the yesteryears fondly. With his slogan "Make America Great Again," he denied the kinder more inclusive vision of the United States, established by Obama's presidential terms. Instead, he welcomed a more divisive and backward-looking motto that purposefully pushed aside the idea of diversity, civility, and progress.
As a result, the nation has regressed in legislation and inclusive thinking, creating more conflict and division among American citizens as the years continue. Nevertheless, Harris' presidential campaign calls for more unity and inclusion among the American people.
Unlike Trump's regressive slogan, Harris looks towards the future and its endless possibilities, should we work together. Claiming determinedly that "we are not going back," Harris challenges the American people to begin working together for the greater good.
In her more inclusive, unifying, and advancing slogan, "Together, we can win this!" Harris encourages us to see the future in a more positive, collaborative light. In focusing on abortion, the economy, consumer debt, health care, climate, police funding, and immigration, Harris challenges the American people to begin to work together to ensure we thrive as a community.
Representing the People
During her campaign rally in Atlanta, GA, U.S. Senator Raphael Warnock introduced Vice President Harris as a representative of the American and its infamous reputation of being a melting pot. "Her dad is of Jamaican descent; her mother is of South Asian descent; and then she went to the great Howard University," Warnock says. "Worked in California. Worked in the United States Senate. That is the American story, and she brings all of those strands together. She sees us because, in the real sense, she is all of us. So, we have to send her to the White House."
Since declaring her campaign, Harris' identity has compelled many to discuss the intersectionality and complexities of race and ethnicity in politics, which are sometimes disregarded or overlooked."
Look at my own life, where a daughter of a South Asian mother and a Jamaican father concluded her own interfaith wedding with her husband breaking a glass and everyone yelling, ‘Mazel tov,'" Harris said of her life in a March 2017 speech.As a representative of the people, Harris and her campaign believe that she understands the issues of the American people more than an "other"-especially Trump- because she has experienced many different backgrounds and cultures. In contrast, Trump attempts to place Harris in a box, by seeing her mixed race as duplicitous and deceitful. She continues to defy this perspective by seeing it for what it is: a tool of oppression.
Unlike Trump, "Kamala Harris represents -- demographically -- our current reality: mixed-race individuals, multiracial families, multiracial communities, multiracial friendship groups, multiracial workplaces. That is our current reality," said Ji-Yeon Yuh, an author and professor of history at Northwestern University.
Becoming Multidimensional
Vice President Kamala Harris speaks at the American Federation of Teachers' 88th National Convention on July 25, 2024 in Houston, Texas. The American Federation of Teachers was the first labor union to endorse Harris for president since announcing her campaign.
Montinique Monroe/Getty Images
"You think you just feel out of a coconut tree."
Upon hearing this quote, Republican opposition researchers believed this comment could damage the way many viewed Vice President Kamala Harris. However, instead of this quote appearing embarrassing, the comment won over many, making Harris appear likable for the first time in a long while.
In her previous presidential campaign, Harris' biggest weakness was her inability to connect to the American people. Though she had a moment here and there, she faded into the background because many voters were unsure of what she stood for and truly represented. She was hard to categorize.
This time around though, Harris uses this to her advantage. This time around, she is gradually presenting herself as multidimensional and can appeal to everyone. She can be a courtroom prosecutor who has seen "perpetrators of all kinds. Predators who abused women. Fraudsters who ripped off consumers, who broke the rules for their own gain."
Or she could be the 'little girl in California' who was part of the second class to integrate her public schools. And she was bused to school every day." The person who "loves Venn Diagrams."
Or as "Hard Fork" describes her, this quote makes her seem like one's relative. "It reminds you of your aunt who has had too many wine and starts giggling and saying random phrases. It had goofy aunt energy." Whatever she chooses to be, she wants the American people to know that she can't be put into the box that Trump and other Republicans so desperately want her to be.
Record-Breaking Millions
In recent months, the Democratic campaign saw its finances take a significant hit under Biden's leadership. After his terrible, alarming performance in the June debate, Biden's donors canceled fundraising events and withheld donations to show their disappointment in the Democratic nominee. However, since Harris has taken over the campaign, donations have increased substantially, surpassing Trump's record-breaking fundraising since May.
In July, Harris' campaign raised $310 million. Let me say that differently: Since July 21, major Democratic donors and small-dollar donors have pledged $150 million to Democratic presidential super PACs. Zoom fundraising coalition calls from HBCU organizations, Black sororities and fraternities, and groups like Black Women for Harris, Black Men for Harris, Latinas for Harris, and White Dudes for Harris, raised more than $20 million. First-time donors, the majority from Gen Z and millennial generations, contributed up to $200 each. With the help of other affiliated committees, the Harris campaign has totaled their funds to $377 million.
This amount is more than double the amount reported by the Trump Campaign after he saw an increase in donations since his assassination attempt. This record-breaking sum shows just how much the new presidential candidate has sparked the interest of voters, who originally believed the election to be a waste of time.
Using People-Powered Campaigns to Close Margins against Trump
According to the latest polls, Vice President Kamala Harris has now erased the lead Trump once held in the presidential race. Now in a deadlock, Harris has managed to revitalize the Democratic party with the assistance of women, young, and Black votes. In relation to the battleground states, Harris and Trump are tied, in most cases, though this outcome is the more optimistic one, considering Biden had been behind Trump in these states by five points.
Since Harris' announcement for the presidency, the proportion of Democrats claiming they will "definitely vote" has increased to an all-time high. In this number, a large portion of Black voters have said they plan to vote today, than they had in July when Biden was still running.
Harris leads in the women's vote at 54% to 45% and in two of the battleground states, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. Not only this, she has reduced the percentage of people planning to vote for a third party. Shortening the number from 12% to 5% with 4% of these voters choosing the Democratic party since her nomination.
Fight for Freedom
Democratic presidential candidate, U.S. Vice President Kamala Harris and Democratic vice presidential candidate Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz appear on stage together during a campaign event at Girard College on August 6, 2024 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Harris ended weeks of speculation about who her running mate would be, selecting the 60-year-old midwestern governor over other candidates.
Andrew Harnik/Getty Images
Since the year started, this election has been shaped as the "Fight for Democracy." With 34 convictions, Project 2025's regressive and oppressive ideals, Trump's desire to take Voting Rights, Women's Rights, individual rights, political revenge, and his vow to be a dictator starting on his "first day back in office," it is hard to disagree with the Democratic's existential rhetoric. Trump is a threat to democracy.
He tried to overturn the 2020 election and continues to assert lies that the election was rigged. He has mentioned his desire to change how we vote, marriage laws, and education, and has leaned more into authoritarian tendencies. If given the presidency again, he will permanently change the fabric of the country and negatively affect generations to come.
“Ours is a fight for the future — and it is a fight for freedom,” Vice President Kamala Harris said. “Do we wanna live in a country of freedom, compassion, and rule of law? Or a country of chaos, fear, and hate?” she asked.
In Harris' "Fight for Freedom," she challenges voters to choose the "freedom to not only get by, but get ahead. The freedom to be protected from gun violence, [and the] freedom to make decisions about your own body." She encourages voters to "choose a future where no child lives in poverty, where we can all afford health care, and no one is above the law." In Harris' "Fight for Freedom," she uplifts voters to come together, "fueled by love of country," and "fight for the best of who we are."
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Featured image by Andrew Harnik/Getty Images
Taysha Robinson is a writer and high school English teacher, based in metro-Atlanta. A self described philomath, you can find her reading books and articles of every genre, attending educational conferences, and hiking wherever the terrain will allow.
'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Years ago, I interviewed a Jewish woman who was married to a Christian man about how they make the holiday season work in their household. As someone who personally doesn’t observe holidays, a particular thing that she said has always stayed with me: “I don’t observe Christmas, but I can support the spirit of the season.”
Yeah, that resolve is something that I can get down with — and since sex is something that I write about, quite often, on this platform, I must admit that I do look forward to sharing some holiday-themed tips and hacks. For instance, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, check out “Here's How You And Your Partner Can Engage In Some 'Gratitude Sex'” from a few years back.
Or, if Christmas is your favorite time of the year, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?” may provide you with some holiday inspiration (speaking of Christmas, instead of rose petals, how about putting some poinsettia leaves on your bed? If you heard somewhere that they can be toxic, you’d have to eat like 500 of them for that to be the case, so no worries).
This year, along these same lines, I decided to share 12 creative things that you can do starting now through Christmastime. Each idea is festive, fun, and has its own aphrodisiac element to it that very well could turn this holiday season into some of the best sex that you’ve ever had. Ready?
Unsplash
1. Snowstorm Sound Effects
Charge it to my mother being a New Yorker and/or me being born in Nebraska, but whenever I think of a romantic getaway, being in a log cabin that’s surrounded by nothing but pine trees and tons of snow is my idea of a really good time. Hmph, meanwhile, I’m writing this while Nashville is currently in the 60s-70s during the day. SMDH.
If you can currently feel my pain and you wish that you had a bit of snow around to get into the holiday season spirit, there are plenty of ASMR videos on YouTube that mimic snowstorms (like these here, here, and here) for you and your bae to cuddle up and listen or, umm, do other stuff to.
I mean, since science says that fall and winter are the best times for sex anyway (check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”), why not do what you can to create as much of the ambiance as possible?
2. Paper Snowflakes (with Sexy Messages on Them)
Speaking of snow, when’s the last time that you’ve made some paper snowflakes? As a child, you may have created them for decoration. Now that you’re grown, though, put a bit of a twist to them by writing sexy messages on the back — you know, things like your favorite sex memory with your partner, a fantasy that you’d like to explore, or what you enjoy most about your man as far as intimacy goes.
You can put the snowflakes in your partner’s briefcase, underneath their pillow, or even hang them over your bed. If you’ve forgotten how to make them, no problem; click here for some instructions.
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3. Portable Fireplaces (or Flameless LED Candles)
Last year, I purchased something that I think is too cute for a friend of mine: tiny reusable bonfires. If you don’t happen to have a fireplace in your home, on some levels, they are the next best thing because they can create a romantic mood on a smaller level. I especially like tabletop firepits (like this one here) and even portable mid-century LED fireplaces (like this one here). Or, if you want something a bit larger, there are indoor tabletop fireplaces that are smokeless and odorless (like this one here).
Speaking of fires, if you and your partner plan on some R&B (meaning all night long) sex, I’d feel better if you went with some LED candles or something. You can put dozens of them all over your bedroom, have sex, fall asleep, and not have to worry about them one bit.
4. DIY Sex Gratitude Journal
How fitting is it that writer William Arthur Ward once said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it?" Since Thanksgiving is the holiday when all are encouraged to express thanks for what they are truly grateful for, purchase a fresh journal, decorate it, and then fill it with things about intimacy with your man that truly moves you.
Then, read some of the entries out loud to him. Learning how to incorporate all five senses (in this case, hearing) into sexual activity (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”) is how to make the experiences better than they’ve ever been.
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5. Homemade Candied Pecans
Pecan pie is pretty popular around this time of year. Well, did you know that pecans are considered to be aphrodisiacs? The main reason is that they are a fairly good source of zinc and zinc increases blood circulation, boosts your libido, and can even help with erectile dysfunction (if that’s something that your partner happens to deal with). So, why not curl up and snack on some homemade candied pecans (easy recipe here) while watching a movie or listening to some holiday music together? You never know how delicious the night may turn out to be because of it. Literally.
6. Cranberry (or Gingerbread) Syrup
A few years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious.” In it, I shouted out chocolate syrup; however, today, I’m gonna go with something that is a little less…predictable. Chile, we already know that cranberry sauce is gonna be sitting on somebody’s Thanksgiving table, and there’s a pretty good chance that a gingerbread house (or at least some gingersnaps) is going to be available over Christmas, so why not pick up some cranberry or gingerbread syrup?
Since cranberries and ginger are both considered to be aphrodisiacs, it can be a super sexy move to dab a bit of syrup on some of your favorite sex pressure points (and his).
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7. A Lil' “Sex Christmas Tree”
Whether you plan on putting a (real, right?) Christmas tree in your living room or not, again, in the spirit of the holiday, get a small artificial one for a nightstand or the top of your dresser in your bedroom. Then you can hang a few sex-related items like flavored condoms, Santa hat nipple pasties, sex position ornaments, edible penis wraps, and picture strips — and whatever else your freaky lil’ mind can think of!
8. Edible Bows
Red velvet lingerie is definitely a nice touch during the holiday season. And although whether men prefer lingerie or nudity is really up to which guy you ask, I can’t think of one who is gonna have a problem with you wrapping your birthday suit up in a bow — especially if it’s an edible one. Yep, I actually came across a YouTube video (here) that walks you through how to make one of those. And although it’s not something that you can do in 10 minutes or less, I do think the end result will make it far worth the time investment. Don’t you?
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9. Pumpkin-Flavored Whipped Cream
Another sex condiment that I shared in the article that I referred to earlier is whipped cream. Since pumpkins are currently in season, acknowledge them by bringing some pumpkin-flavored whipped cream into the mix. You can always purchase the kind that’s already made (like this brand here), or you can even make a batch of your own (via a recipe like this here). That way, you can customize how sweet and thick you want the cream to be in order to stand up to your…plans. #wink
10. Bourbon Eggnog
Eggnog is definitely a signature holiday drink, and a few years back, I shouted it out in the article “12 Traditional Christmas Items That Are Low-Key Aphrodisiacs Too.” Why? Well, the vanilla, honey, and nutmeg that’s in it are all considered to be aphrodisiacs. If you add a bit of bourbon (which is a type of whiskey) to it, that can help to calm your nerves, which can ultimately make climaxing so much easier to do. A recipe for homemade bourbon eggnog is right here.
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11. Peppermint Chocolate Bath Bombs
Peppermint and chocolate will also be in abundance around the holidays, and, as life would have it, they are considered to be aphrodisiacs,too. So, whether you plan on soaking in the bath to prepare for what the night has to offer or you and your boo thang are going to hang out in the tub together (even better!), why not throw a few DIY peppermint chocolate bath bombs (recipe here) in there? The scent alone will make you want to turn each other into your desserts after you get up outta there.
12. Sexy Homemade Holiday Lip Balm
Even though I am well aware of the fact that some people hate to kiss (check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”), I also know that science says that kissing can help you find your ideal partner, and it can definitely make your sexual experiences better (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”). And although things like shea butter and batana oil (a personal favorite of mine) can give you some super smooth lips (after exfoliating them, of course), kissing will be even more scrumptious if you’ve got some flavored lip balm on.
A peppermint lip balm recipe is here (add a bit of Stevia, honey, or date sugar for flavoring), a chocolate lip balm recipe is here, and a vanilla lip balm recipe is here. Your man won’t be able to get enough of you — all holiday season long! ‘Tis the season, chile.
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