June is all about following your inner compass. Life is coming full circle, and both culminations and new beginnings are occurring. This month is a time of showing up for yourself, for others, and for your life- and about seeing things with more clarity. Gemini Season is underway in June, and Gemini is a wildcard. You never know what is going to happen when the Sun is in Gemini, and it's best to go with the flow right now. Check in to your inner compass for guidance on the path ahead of you, and feel the excitement of what is possible for you this month.
June 2023 Overview
There is a Full Moon in Sagittarius on June 3rd, and this is the Full Strawberry Moon of the year. Being that the Full Moon will be in a fire sign, this is overall a time of activation and empowerment. This is the time to overcome fears, gain the bigger picture, and experience a breakthrough in your life. A few days later, on June 5th, Venus moves into Leo, and even love is heating up. Venus in Leo loves loud. She loves being in this self-expressive and bold sign, and love takes on a more exciting, charming, creative, and dramatic tone over the next few months. Venus will be in Leo until October 8th, and there will be a lot happening when it comes to love, relationships, and finances over that time.
Saturn and Neptune are both in Pisces, and they both go retrograde this month. With Saturn going retrograde on the 17th and Neptune on the 30th, although there is a lot of growth taking place in June, there is also a need to take a step back and process. Saturn retrograde makes sure your plans are sustainable, and Neptune retrograde helps you take off the blinders. Both of these signs in retrograde motion facilitate a reality check, and as Retrograde Season begins, it’s better to learn lessons as they come rather than having to repeat them later.
Saturn will humble, and Neptune will inspire.
On June 18th, there is a New Moon in Gemini as Gemini Season comes to a close, and there are some surprises in store during this time. Since Gemini is all about the mind, some important revelations are happening now, and connecting with others on many different layers is what this time is facilitating. Look out for new opportunities that are appearing this month, and back your intentions with excitement. Cancer Season begins on June 21st, and after a mentally active month, the heart takes more focus again. Overall, June is a time of the skies clearing, perspective entering, and love leading you forward.
What's In Store for Each Zodiac Sign in June 2023
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleIn June, you are working on letting the past go, Aries. This is a month to choose your battles wisely, focus on more sustainability, and on putting your attention on what’s going to work for you in the long run. There is no easy fix to what is presenting itself to you this month, and it’s about standing your ground and not giving up on yourself in the meantime. You are more powerful than you know, and you will overcome any tests thrown your way this month.
Venus enters your 5th house of love on June 5th, and this is putting a positive tone on romance for you. You are attracted to confidence, emotional vulnerability, and joy in others more so than anything right now, and things are getting interesting for you in love this month. Saturn goes retrograde on the 17th, and with Saturn currently in your 12th house of endings and closure, you are preparing for some big transformations this summer, and they start appearing for you now.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about overcoming fears, Taurus. June is the time to take off the blindfold that has kept you safe and comfortable out of fear so that you can understand where true safety and power come from. You are releasing limitations from your life that have been self-imposed and are ready to let go of the people that keep you in this state of limbo as well. The Full Moon happening this month on the 3rd is when you gain the clarity and self-understanding needed to transform from these power struggles and reach your true potential in life.
Moving forward into June, your ruling planet, Venus, enters Leo and moves into an area of your birth chart having to do with home, family, inner well-being, and your foundations. You are getting some type of reality check in June, but it’s helping you build more solid and stable ground for yourself to thrive on. Home is where you feel the love, especially so this month, and you are creating some new safe spaces for yourself in June and sprucing up your surroundings.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleIn June, your patience and persistence are needed, Gemini. This is a month where you will see blessings bloom, but when you also need to put more effort into watering your intentions. This doesn’t always mean taking more action. Sometimes it means believing in yourself more and looking at your situation in a more positive and nurturing light. You have worked hard to plant your seeds and build a life that makes you happy, and the universe is nudging you to see that you are almost there.
The Sun is in Gemini until June 21st, and most of the month is about gaining self-confidence, being the leader of your life, and honoring your right to happiness. On June 11th, Mercury, your ruling planet, enters your sign, and your mind is thriving right now. Communication is your strength more so than ever in June, and this is an excellent month to connect, engage, and keep an open mind. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in your sign on the 18th, and it’s time to believe in a miracle.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleGather your strength, and find your ground this month, Cancer. The Sun is in the sign just before yours for most of the month, and you are tying up loose ends in June. You often keep space for the past, present, and future all to reside in your heart, but this month you are taking a good look at how much you can really carry and how much you really should be. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for support this month. You are always there for others, and sometimes it’s your turn for someone to be there for you.
Saturn goes retrograde this month on the 17th, and over the next few months will be helping you gain a new perspective. Saturn will be retrograde in an area of your chart having to do with travel as well, and extra patience and planning will be needed when it comes to travel plans this summer. On June 21st, Cancer Season officially begins, and you are feeling more freedom and excitement after somewhat of a heavy month. A few days later, on the 26th, Mercury enters Cancer, and the spotlight is really on you now.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is a month of emotional renewal for you, Leo. You are beginning anew in many ways this month, and you are feeling the love and support. There is something exciting about what is presenting itself to you in June, and you can’t help but feel passionate about it all. There is a Full Moon in Sagittarius happening on the 3rd at the beginning of the month, and this Full Moon is bringing things full circle when it comes to love. Your intentions have been heard, and you are seeing the benefit of going after what you want in life. You are protected and worthy, and it is safe for you to love, Leo.
Speaking of love, Venus, the planet of romance, love, and pleasure, enters your sign on June 5th and will remain here for an unusually long amount of time until October. When Venus is in your sign, love takes on a bold, proud, and more charismatic charm. Venus in Leo has a dramatic flair to her, so things will definitely be interesting for you over the next few months, but there won’t be a lack of love in your life, that is for sure. Overall, June is an emotionally exciting month for you.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour heart is free, Virgo. June is about feeling the love in your life from within to without and feeling like things are in synergy. You believe in the power of manifestation, and this month you are seeing some of your manifestations appear, especially regarding the relationships in your life. You have moved through a lot of growth this year, and you are ready to have some more fun and see what other exciting and heartfelt experiences are in store for you.
Neptune and Saturn both go retrograde this month, and they are going to be retrograde in your 7th house of one-on-one relationships, love, finances, and enemies. Thankfully, the love you have been giving yourself will triumph over any hater that may come your way, and the community of support you have built around you will facilitate that. These retrogrades for you are more about being a better advocate for yourself and learning more about certain patterning and emotional experiences in love that play out for you so that you can recharge and renew.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleCelebrations are in store for you this month, Libra. June is all about good times and good vibes. You have the support around you that you need to feel the emotional fulfillment you look for in life, and there are a lot of healing experiences to be had this month. It’s about letting go of what keeps you apart from others and focusing more on what keeps you together. You are finding your balance, having fun, and honoring your heart this month, Libra.
Your ruling planet, Venus, moves into your house of friendships at the beginning of the month on the 5th, and you are feeling new beginnings within your community, friendships, and your soulmates. Others are more willing to share the love right now, and you are feeling more seen and heard. With Saturn going retrograde before the month ends on the 17th, you will need to take a look at your current routine and see what benefits and what overwhelms you, however. Taking care of your health should be more of a priority over the next few months, but overall, June has a lot to offer you.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleTrust your intuition, Scorpio. This is a month of tuning into the universe and paying attention to the signs. You are inspiring those around you with your sound wisdom and advice, and you are stepping into your power this month. June is your time to get creative, tap into the divine, and create more beauty in your life. Venus moves into your 10th house of career on June 5th and will be shining the spotlight on you over the next few months. It’s all about showing up and allowing others to admire and appreciate who you are.
There is a New Moon in Gemini occurring on the 18th, and this New Moon is a transformative one for you. You are letting go of self-doubt and pain and moving forward into self-empowerment and healing. You are learning more about self-mastery right now and how to be the leader of your life rather than someone who’s the result of their circumstances. June is an empowering month for you overall, and this is a game-changing time.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is all about letting go, Sagittarius. It’s about honoring your health, letting go of control, and focusing on what aligns with your well-being rather than hindering it. You are learning some important lessons on allowing rather than forcing right now and are getting the opportunity to put yourself on a new path in life. There is a Full Moon happening at the beginning of the month on the 3rd, and this Full Moon is signaling to you where to let go and where to dive in.
You are closing some chapters in your life this month. With Venus moving into fellow fire sign Leo on the 5th and entering your house of adventure, you are not in the mood to be tied down to anything that feels forced or smothering. You are overcoming some addictions and mental hurdles to feel more freedom in your life right now. Saturn goes retrograde on the 17th and will be in retrograde in your 4th house of home and family until November, and you will be defining and refinding what family means to you right now.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is all about baby steps, Capricorn. You are putting one foot in front of the other and paving a new path for yourself this month. Your finances, income, and synergy here are in focus for most of the month, and you are looking for new ways to see growth in this area of your life. You are putting the feelers out there, taking on new opportunities and responsibilities, and you are seeing the results of your resourcefulness. With the Full Moon happening at the beginning of the month, you are letting go of what has been weighing you down from fulfilling your dreams.
Pluto has been in retrograde since May 1st, and on June 11th, it moves into your sign. Pluto will be retrograde in Capricorn until October, and during this time, you will be finding your power and owning your voice. You deserve to take up space, and you do make the great leader that you aspire to be. Your ruling planet Saturn goes retrograde a few days later on the 17th, and you will be experiencing growth when it comes to communication, neighbors, siblings, transportation, and connection.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou have the Midas Touch this month, Aquarius. This is an impactful and abundant month for you, and you are happy with the spaces you are finding yourself in right now. You have found the key to your success and are creating and living the life you dream of. With Venus moving into your house of love as the month begins, there is so much to be grateful for right now, and you have it all right beside you. Remember to appreciate the gifts of today and not get so lost in the details that you miss the moment.
Saturn goes retrograde on the 17th and will be retrograde in your house of income until November. Create a strategic plan for your financial world, and focus on stability here. You have made some essential gains here recently, and Saturn will be serving lessons on how to maintain that. Saturn is one of your ruling planets, and you especially feel its influence. Over the next few months, take an honest look at your financial world, and create a long-term plan here.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is a new beginning for you, Pisces. You are in high spirits this month and are feeling the hope that you align so well with in life. New communication is coming to the forefront, and you are getting the answers you have been looking for. You are seeing things clearly right now, and your heart is leading the way. The Full Moon on June 3rd will be happening in your house of success and achievements, and you are spending the beginning of the month honoring how far you have come and celebrating where you are now.
Saturn and Neptune are both in your sign right now, and they both go retrograde this month. Saturn first, on June 17th, and you may be feeling more restless than usual over the next few months. You could be feeling a little more anxious and pressured right now, and more compassion for yourself and your life path is needed. Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces on the 30th, and you are getting lost in the mystery of it all. Divine intervention will be at play for you over the next few months, and perspectives are shaking for you to see some new truths. Overall, this is a very creative and life-changing time for you.
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- The Personality & Love Compatibility Of A Cancer, Explained. ›
- Revamping Your Boundaries: What Saturn Retrograde Can Teach You ›
- 12 Mantras To Cultivate 2023 Energy For The Year Ahead ›
- Everything You Should Know About The Gemini Zodiac Sign ›
- Summer 2023 Horoscopes Predictions Every Zodiac Sign - xoNecole: Lifestyle, Culture, Love, & Wellness ›
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Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
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And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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