June is a breath of fresh air for the collective. Mercury retrograde officially ends at the start of the month on June 3, and we get to enter June with a little less stress and delays flowing through the world. With Gemini season fully underway and a new vibe transpiring, the energy of the month is that of hope, inspiration, self-expression, and finding the courage to walk into new territory. With all the changes that have been flowing through the world already this year, June is coming in and wanting to regroup, gain the full picture, and create some space to breathe and allow the new to unfold.
The day after Mercury goes direct, Saturn goes retrograde. Saturn retrograde transits happen yearly, and this year Saturn will be going retrograde in the air sign, Aquarius. This Saturn retrograde brings attention to the collective, humanity, technology, and the systems of the world. Saturn wants to show us what systems need reworking, and what patterns and ways of being we can throw out altogether for the sake of love and for the sake of peace on Earth. As we move deeper into retrograde season this month, we are being reminded of the importance of doing this thing called life together, and to consider a helping hand when necessary.
The Moon cycles of the month are powerful, dynamic, and a little more light-hearted than what they have been now that we are officially out of eclipse season. The Full Strawberry Moon in Sagittarius on June 14 is a Supermoon, and this is a good Full Moon to release, renew, and take your healing and your happiness seriously. This Full Moon has a flair of adventure to it as well being in the sign of Sagittarius, and everything that has been going on within is making its showcase without. Cancer season begins on June 21 this year, and the energy moves from the head to the heart. Cancer season is the time to honor yourself, your home, and those that feel like family, and to nurture your world.
We have a New Moon in Cancer before the month ends on June 28, and this New Moon has a sweet disposition to it and is a time to believe in your new beginning. This Cancer New Moon will be highlighting the emotional world and is a time to set your intentions for what you want to become. Home is where the heart is during this time, and this New Moon is all about regrouping, finding your ground, and manifesting your heart's dreams. Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces the same day as the Cancer New Moon, and emotions are running high right now. You are being reminded as the month ends that your heart is the priority and that everything begins and ends here.
When you can find your balance between the head and the heart, you can live your truths and inspire others to do so as well. June is the time to believe in you, and believe in the magic that is becoming.
Aries Horoscope for June 2022
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleA new month is here, and you have been getting your energy right, Aries. With Jupiter, the planet of good luck, entering your sign last month, and with May, June, and July being the only full months of the year that Jupiter will be completely direct in your sign, you are in the midst of immense progress and opportunities in June. This month is all about nurturing your body, your world, your intentions, and what is becoming for you at this time. You are at a place in life where you are creating space and the right conditions for your intentions to bloom.
There is a Full Supermoon in fellow fire sign Sagittarius occurring mid-month on June 14, and this Full Moon will be highlighting your 9th house of adventure. June is a good month to take that vacation you’ve been wanting to move forward with, and you will see fewer obstacles on the way towards your goals now that Mercury is officially out of retrograde and moving direct again. Venus enters Gemini and moves into your house of communication on June 22, and you are moving out of June and into July feeling inspired by what has transpired, and like your voice is really being heard and well-received right now.
Taurus Horoscope for June 2022
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is all about finding your balance and your truth between past, present, and future, Taurus. You are bridging the gap in June from what was, to what is to be, and this is an exciting month of opportunities for you. The month begins with Mercury retrograde moving direct in your sign on June 3, and you can finally catch a breath right now. Breathe in, breathe out, Taurus. You are being given a helping hand this month, and are being lifted out of a place you don’t want to be anymore. This is soul replenishing for you.
With your ruling planet Venus in your sign until June 22, all the opportunities for love, nourishment, and grace are with you right now as you move through the month knowing that at the end of the day you are love and you are loved. June is all about looking at the positives in your world and creating more of them, rather than staying in a perspective that doesn’t serve your growth or your happiness. There is a Cancer New Moon on June 28 before the month ends, and you are receiving the messages and insights you have been looking for moving into July.
Gemini Horoscope for June 2022
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is a month of forward movement, progress, and inspiring action for you, Gemini. Your spirit is flying free, and this is an enlightening time for you. With your ruling planet, Mercury officially moving out of retrograde and going direct on June 3, and with Mercury moving back into your sign from June 13 to July 5, all of the communication changes and challenges you were facing that had to do with who you are and how you express that, are turning around for you this month. No more second-guessing yourself or your voice, and June is all about knowing that you deserve to take up space.
A Full Strawberry Moon is happening in your opposite sign on June 14 this month, and this Full Moon is highlighting your love life and relationships. This Sagittarius Full Moon is bringing clarity to what partnerships work and can run with you, and what dynamics are best to be let go of now. Venus makes its yearly transit into your sign on June 22 where it will remain until July 17, and love is especially exciting for you right now. Through any blurred lines that have been, you have sought your truth, and discovered your bliss.
Cancer Horoscope for June 2022
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe vision is clear, Cancer. June is a beautiful month of life unfolding to the dreams you have been setting for yourself and creating. There is a deep coming together within happening this month for you, and your wise soul is shining in your truth. Luck is on your side in June as you nurture the gifts of the present moment, and protect your energy. You have been on a journey of self-discovery as of late, and are experiencing a coming together of what you have been working on bringing to fruition this month.
Venus is currently in your house of friendships until June 22, and this is a good month to expand your network, meet new people, and connect with your hopes and dreams in life. A lot of things are changing for you this month, and they are moving in the direction of your dreams. Cancer season begins on June 21 this year, and it is your time to shine, beautiful. This Cancer season, remind yourself that you are a powerful creator of your reality. With a New Moon in Cancer on June 28 before the month ends as well, all things are possible, and they are coming together for you.
Leo Horoscope for June 2022
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is all about flipping the script, and defining what it is you want to see moving forward, Leo. Relationships and their dynamics have been a big theme for you this year, and in June you are figuring out what works for you and what may need some reworking. Your guidance for the month is to remember your connection to your higher self, and that all the answers you need to know will always be within you and within reach. You are not alone on your journey, Leo, remember this.
With Saturn going retrograde in your house of love on June 4, you are thinking a lot about love this summer. The relationships in your life are strongly coming into focus in June, and you are getting the opportunity to see what relationships ground and support, and which ones make you feel off the path. The Full Supermoon in Sagittarius on June 14 will be giving you all the clarity needed on navigating the different experiences in your life, and how to put your happiness at the forefront of it all. By the end of the month, there is a New Moon in your house of endings and culminations, and you are wrapping up a major chapter in life.
Virgo Horoscope for June 2022
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVirgo, this is an important month for planting the seeds and creating your reality. June is a time when you are getting the full picture, and are rewriting your story. This month is about reminding yourself of the power you hold in life and speaking of things you want to bring into existence. Your thoughts and words hold immense power, and this month is reminding you of the importance of a clear mind and heart. With your ruling planet, Mercury officially moving out of retrograde at the start of the month, the path ahead is clearing for you and new opportunities abound, Virgo.
With Venus moving through your 9th house until June 22, you are inspired by expansion, travel, adventure, and the new. There is so much to learn, know, and dive into this month, and you are inspired by the connections you are making right now. The New Moon on June 28 is moving through your 11th house of friendships, and you are seeing some new beginnings within your social world and network this month. June is all about redefining your goals, hopes, and dreams, and seeing the true gifts in them. You are worthy, and you always have been, Virgo.
Libra Horoscope for June 2022
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra, June is all about nurturing your world. This is the month to pay attention to the little moments of magic that are appearing for you right now and bring more of this beauty and contentment into your life. You have been allowing all to unfold, and have given your intentions the right space and conditions to continue to bloom for you. June is the month to practice opening up to receive, and knowing that you deserve the love you so often give. You have so much magic within you to share and shine in the world, and this month is reminding you how to maintain your balance through it all.
There is a strong focus with you right now when it comes to self-expression and speaking from the heart. Saturn goes retrograde in your 5th house of romance, creativity, and expression from the first week of June until October, and you are redefining ways to go about obtaining your happiness to where you feel this is something sustainable in your life and that you can continue to grow. With your ruling planet Venus moving into your house of adventure on June 22, this summer is all about having fun, feeling free, and making your happiness the priority.
Scorpio Horoscope for June 2022
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleConnect to the sweet moments of life, Scorpio. June is a month of rebirth and a month of remaining patient with the blessings that are unfolding for you at this time. You have reached an important moment on your journey where you know exactly what you want and what that looks like for you, and the Universe has your back while this all unfolds. Finding the balance between what’s been and what is to be isn’t for the faint heart; but you have the courage, strength, and conviction to live your truths and stand in your happiness through it all this month.
With eclipse season out of the way and less tension flowing through the lives of Scorpios right now, June is your month to regroup and gain new ground. The Supermoon on June 14 will be entering your house of income, values, and self-confidence, and this is a good time to go over finances, clean out your wallet, and release anything you have been putting more time and effort into and not seeing a return back. June is your month to bring more of those precious moments of understanding and contentment into your life and to listen to your heart.
Sagittarius Horoscope for June 2022
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is here, and you are experiencing some full-circle moments this month, Sagittarius. The month begins with Mercury officially moving out of Retrograde and going direct on June 3rd, and you have a clearer idea of what you see yourself doing daily, and what is going to ultimately benefit your health and lifestyle. This month is all about finding your flow and being your biggest cheerleader. You have shown yourself time and time again that if there is one person you can count on, it is you, and June is about moving through your experiences with this empowered perspective.
Mid-month a Full Strawberry Supermoon is occurring in your sign on June 14, and this is an empowering Full Moon for you. As life comes full circle during this time, make your self-love and self-care a priority and look in the mirror and say, “I love you” a few times. June is reminding you that you do not have to be a bystander to what is happening in your life and that this life is for you to create and consciously experience. With Venus moving into your opposite sign of Gemini before the month ends, you are entering a time of receptivity and grace.
Capricorn Horoscope for June 2022
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is all about clarity for you, Capricorn. Some important decisions are being made this month, and you are bridging the gap between your intentions to your reality. This month is a time to find your balance between the closures you are seeing right now and the new beginnings that are coming from it, and about moving at your own pace. You have been weathering the storm and have gotten yourself out of some shaky waters, and June is the time when you are putting your foot down and making decisions with a clear heart.
With retrograde season moving underway and your ruling planet Saturn going retrograde at the start of the month, you are moving into a time this summer of understanding more of the giving and receiving in your life. Finances, income streams, and your financial goals for the future come into focus right now, and this is a good time to review the books and get things in order that you feel have fallen to the wayside. Before the month ends there is a New Moon in your opposite sign Cancer, and you are moving out in June and into July with the love and balance on the brain.
Aquarius Horoscope for June 2022
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleLove is singing a new tune for you this month, Aquarius. June is a month of being the lover and allowing yourself to be loved as well and is a time where your emotional world is highlighting the thoughts that have been flowing within. You are ready to stretch your wings and fly this month and are looking at the open horizons ahead of you right now. One of your ruling planets, Saturn, makes its yearly retrograde transit this month on June 4 and will be retrograde in your sign until October. You are entering a journey of defining what self-love means to you, and are giving yourself breathing room to figure things out for yourself.
The Full Moon on June 14 is an inspiring one for you, and a one that is helping you redefine your goals, and vision of the future. You are getting the opportunity to see some past intentions come full circle right now, and there are real treasures in your world to grab ahold of in June. By the end of the month, Venus moves into your 5th house of romance where it will remain until July 17, and there are a lot of happy times ahead of you right now, Aquarius.
Pisces Horoscope for June 2022
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleJune is a month of big changes, and big power moves, Pisces. You are the one moving yourself forward right now, and you are getting yourself to a place where you feel there is more stable ground to walk on. You have been finding your balance between the need to heal and the need to be, and this is a month of renewed passion and inspiration. There is a lot of courage with you this month to clear space and make room for the new, and you are building your world right now with your heart in mind.
One of your ruling planets Neptune makes its yearly retrograde transit this month and will be retrograde in your sign from June 28 until December 3. This retrograde transit is reminding you of the importance of seeing things for what they are, and not allowing your powerful imagination to run too wild into territory that doesn’t serve your personal growth or idea of self. There is a New Moon in fellow water sign Cancer on the same day Neptune is going retrograde, and this is a good time to set your intentions for how you want to live out your dreams and happiness moving forward.
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At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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