The Eclipse Season saga continues into this month along with the Retrograde party. The month ahead continues to find us challenging what we've known as the truth as facades come crumbling down. This is a time in which we're encouraged to tune into our intuition instead of making decisions on what is presented to us. Sometimes the truth is a tough, but necessary, pill to swallow.
As sobering as this month can be, Venus comes through with the love assist to soothe us after experiencing some much-needed reality checks. Remember--we're all going through a lot of changes right now so be kind to yourself and others. Instead of feeding into the divisiveness, lean into our shared humanity.
Check out how your zodiac sign is affected in the month ahead!
Aries
AriesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month has you focused on home and family matters, Aries. However, duty calls as it pertains to your career challenging you to find that much-needed work-life balance. The New Moon Solar Eclipse invites you to assess your inner dialogue and the way you communicate with others. Mental limitations that restrict you from living and expressing your truth are dissolving with this lunation.
When Mars enters Leo, you've got the confidence to not only talk the talk but to walk the walk as well.
On the 14th, the Saturn-Uranus square could bring a reality check regarding your finances and long-term goals. The following week, the Sun enters Cancer, motivating you to do absolutely nothing but stay at home. On the 22nd, Mercury goes direct which helps you move a project into the next phase. The Full Moon on the 24th highlights an achievement of yours. June wraps up on a high note with Venus entering Leo, inspiring you to shine your light!
Taurus
TaurusLaci Jordan for xoNecole
June begins with Venus sweetening up your tongue. As the saying goes, "You'll catch more flies with honey." The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 10th invites you to dive deeper into your beliefs about your self-worth and finances. Creating wealth for yourself starts from within. On the 11th, Mars enters Leo encouraging you to rule with love, not an iron fist. Be mindful of how much energy you're exerting towards your career goals around the 14th.
Prioritize time to decompress and do something just for you.
When Jupiter Retrograde meets up with the Sun in Cancer on the 20th, spend some time nurturing your dreams. Speak life into your future and surround yourself with supportive friends. On the 22nd, Mercury goes direct which helps you get back on track financially. The Full Moon on the 24th gives you a chance to be recognized for your contributions to your community. During Neptune's six-month Retrograde, you're invited to gain more clarity about the greater impact you want to have on society and how your tribe can help you achieve your mission. When Venus enters Leo on the 27th, indulge your inner child with some much-needed play time.
Gemini
GeminiLaci Jordan for xoNecoleYour values, finances, and material assets could use some TLC when Venus enters Cancer at the top of the month, Gemini. The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 10th brings sweeping changes to at least one area of your life. Life as you know it may be moving in a completely different direction but it's exactly what your soul ordered to experience more growth. When Mars enters Leo on the 11th, your energy is bursting through the seams, making this the perfect time to get any busy work done--especially those tasks you've been putting off. Around the 14th, be mindful of others challenging your spiritual beliefs.
Your path isn't meant to be understood by everyone.
On the 20th, Jupiter goes Retrograde, inviting you to dive deeper into your career preparation. The Sun shifts into Cancer on the same day, encouraging you to nurture your hidden gifts and talents. When Mercury goes direct on the 22nd, you're feeling a lot more sociable than you have been this month. The Full Moon on the 24th exposes the truth about someone in a position of power or influence. Throughout Neptune Retrograde, you'll be able to see through illusions a lot more clearly. On the 27th, Venus enters Leo, motivating you to seize new opportunities that require you to be front and center stage.
Cancer
CancerLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with Venus pouring in the blessings once she enters your sign on the 2nd, Cancer. The New Moon Solar Eclipse invites you to shed the final layers of a fear that has held you back from expressing more of your true essence. When Mars enters Leo, you're motivated to get the bag in some ways that align more with your current value, making this a supportive time to renegotiate existing contracts and agreements. Be mindful of clashing egos within your friend group around the 14th.
Challenge yourself to hold space for differing perspectives and experiences to cultivate deeper intimacy within your connections.
On the 20th, Jupiter Retrograde meets up with the Sun in Cancer which is a good time to dive deeper into research, studying, and writing. When Mercury goes direct on the 22nd, your intuitive insights become more clear, granting you the confidence you need to move forward in a new direction. The Full Moon on the 24th could have you dissolving a contract or partnership that doesn't align with your long-term goals. During Neptune Retrograde, which kicks off on the 25th, you're invited to restore your connection with your Higher Self. The month ends with Venus entering Leo, making you a magnet for good fortune and expansive opportunities that give you the opportunity to shine!
Leo
LeoLaci Jordan for xoNecole
Take it easy on yourself this month. With Venus entering Cancer, your energy may not be up to par. Get your rest and take lots of cat naps. On the 10th, the New Moon Solar Eclipse reveals how out of alignment some of your friendships are. Avoid getting caught up in gossip and handle this matter with maturity so you don't f*ck up your karma. When Mars enters Leo, you're feeling rejuvenated and ready to take on the world. On the 14th, be mindful of power struggles with an employer or someone in a position of authority.
Choose your battles wisely.
On the 20th, Jupiter begins its retrograde, giving you a chance to dive deeper within yourself for some much-needed soul-searching. On the same day, the Sun enters Cancer, inviting you back into your cozy cocoon to prepare for your birthday season. When Mercury goes direct on the 22nd, you're able to clear up confusion and misunderstandings amongst your tribe. The Full Moon in Capricorn reveals a habit of yours that is detrimental to your well-being. Work-life balance is the key to supporting your health. The month ends with Venus entering your sign bringing the birthday blessings in a little early.
Virgo
VirgoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month brings your attention to your friends, social network, and your hopes and dreams, Virgo. On the 10th, the New Moon Solar Eclipse invites you to free yourself from the expectations of others by defining what your truth is separate from those that you've placed on a pedestal. When Mars enters Leo, be mindful of repressed anger bubbling to the surface. You may think you're mad at one thing when in actuality there's something deeper to explore internally. The Saturn-Uranus square on the 14th has you feeling at odds with your responsibilities and your growing desire for freedom.
When Jupiter goes retrograde on the 20th, you're encouraged to get into some self-reflection to gain a better understanding of repetitive, and undesirable, relationship dynamics.
On the same day, the Sun enters Cancer, making this a good time to nurture your connections with like-minded people. Everything starts getting more clear when Mercury goes direct on the 22nd, giving you the momentum you need to move forward with your career goals. The Full Moon on the 24th illuminates the intentions of a casual romantic interest. This is a make it or break it moment to determine whether you should continue to invest your time. During Neptune Retrograde, the rose-colored glasses come off and you're seeing others for who they truly are, not who you want them to be. The month wraps up with Venus teaming up with Mars requiring you to keep your ego in check.
Libra
Libra
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The pressure is on in matters of career and reputation but if anyone can rise to the occasion it's you, Libra. The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 10th supports you in dissolving thought-patterns that don't support your greatness. Speak life into you and your dreams! On the 11th, Mars enters Leo which could bring out the competitive side amongst you and some friends.
Avoid the drama and channel that motivation towards accomplishing your goals.
A secret about a love interest can be revealed around the 14th which could either strengthen the relationship or end it. Jupiter goes retrograde on the 20th, inviting you to take better care of your physical health which could mean addressing some of your escapist or over-indulgent tendencies. On the same day, the Sun enters Cancer, motivating you to make some boss moves. When Mercury goes direct on the 22nd, any delayed travel plans are finally moving forward. The Full Moon on the 24th brings a home or family matter to the head for resolution. June wraps up with Venus entering Leo to soften the intensity and increase the playful energy amongst your tribe.
Scorpio
Scorpio
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The beginning of the month kicks off with Venus entering Cancer which has you attracting some loyal followers that want to soak up the gems of wisdom you have to share. On the 11th, the New Moon Solar Eclipse invites you to transform your mindset, which ultimately transforms your life. When Mars enters Leo, you're motivated to overcome any challenges standing between you and your career goals. Family and home matters can come to a head around the 14th--possibly leading you to consider a relocation if you're feeling too restricted.
On the 20th, Jupiter Retrograde meets up with the Sun in Cancer, making this a good time to dive deeper into your creative process through some extensive research and study.
Remember that practice makes perfect (or at least close enough to it). When Mercury goes direct on the 22nd, your vision becomes all the more clear now that you're no longer bogged down by past disappointments and heartaches. The Full Moon in Capricorn on the 24th supports you in resolving any discord with your siblings or other close relations. When Neptune goes Retrograde, be prepared to revisit your childhood and past dating experiences with a more grounded perspective. The month wraps up with Venus entering Leo, making you a magnet for opportunity and recognition.
Sagittarius
Sagittarius
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June starts off on a quiet note with Venus entering Cancer inviting you to enjoy some privacy with the people you're closest to. In matters of love, things are getting deeper between you and bae. The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 10th supports you in wrapping up a karmic cycle in your relationships. The old way no longer works for you and you're ready to experience the kind of connections you really want. When Mars enters Leo, you're ready to get another stamp in your passport, making this a good time to plan a summer getaway.
You may be feeling at war within yourself around the 14th due to a growing need for more spontaneity and less structure.
On the 20th, Jupiter Retrograde begins encouraging you to connect with the wisdom of your ancestors. On the same day, the Sun enters Cancer, which has you feeling more lowkey than usual. When Mercury goes direct on the 22nd, you're more clear about where you stand within some of your most important relationships. Signing new contracts is now supported as well. The Full Moon in Capricorn on the 24th helps you resolve a financial blockage. On the 25th, Neptune goes Retrograde, helping you see through the disillusionment of your family. Some hard truths may have to be accepted during this transit. The month comes to a close with Venus in Leo, elevating your social platform.
Capricorn
Capricorn
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The month begins with your relationships taking up much of your attention while Venus transits through Cancer. The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 10th empowers you to kick a bad habit. Remember--it's mind over matter. On the 11th, Mars enters Leo, encouraging you to be mindful of your temper. Random outbursts are likely if you're not actively engaging in shadow work. Around the 14th, the Saturn-Uranus square has you feeling torn between indulging in pleasure and pursuing the bag.
On the 20th, Jupiter Retrograde and the Sun in Cancer meet up marking a pivotal time of transforming your relationships by improving your communication skills (which includes being a good listener as well).
On the 22nd, Mercury goes direct which could clear up any confusion and miscommunication regarding your health. This is also a good time to implement your new work strategy and daily routine into effect. The Full Moon on the 24th places the spotlight on you so make the most of the energy. When Neptune goes Retrograde on the 25th, you're getting to the truth within yourself and about the world around you. The month wraps up with Venus entering Leo which could have you attracting some extra support from a financial institution or a benefactor.
Aquarius
Aquarius
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June kicks off with you nurturing your physical vessel when Venus enters Cancer. The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 11th supports you in healing your inner child. When Mars enters Leo, your relationships get most of your energy. Just be mindful of being too bossy with your loved ones. On the 14th, the Saturn-Uranus square brings some family tension to the surface especially if you're feeling restricted in some way. On the 20th, Jupiter goes Retrograde, encouraging you to revisit your budget and spending habits over the past couple of months. The Sun enters Cancer on the same day, motivating you to tend to your physical health.
On the 22nd, Mercury goes direct, helping you get clear about matters of romance. This is also a good time to move forward with pursuing a new hobby or creative project.
The Full Moon on the 24th helps you break the shackles of disempowerment. You are strong, wise, and incredibly capable of accomplishing whatever you put your mind to. When Neptune goes Retrograde on the 25th, it's time to reel in any excessive spending habits. The month comes to a close with Venus in Leo, helping you attract some generous clients, business partners, and opportunities.
Pisces
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleJune begins with Venus entering Cancer inviting you to indulge in pleasure, creativity, and romance. The New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 10th is transforming the limiting beliefs that you inherited from your family which is a vital part of generational and ancestral healing. When Mars enters Leo, you're motivated to get your body into shape. On the 14th, the Saturn-Uranus square has you pulled between wanting some private time and needing to tend to your daily affairs. When Jupiter begins its Retrograde on the 20th you'll have plenty of time to enjoy your solitude and some soul-searching. On the same day, the Sun enters Cancer inviting you to explore a hobby or do something creative.
Self-expression is key throughout this transit.
On the 22nd, Mercury goes direct, making it a good time to move forward with any property investment, relocation or renovation plans. The Full Moon on the 24th has your social media presence poppin', making this a good time to launch that new product, website, etc. During Neptune Retrograde, you'll be getting more clear about yourself and how you may have been slightly disillusioned about something (or someone) in your life. The month wraps up with Venus in Leo, motivating you to streamline your efforts in work.
Featured image by Laci Jordan for xoNecole
- Your June 2021 Monthly Horoscope Is Here | InStyle ›
- Cancer Horoscope June 2021 — Love and Career Predictions | Allure ›
- June 2021 Horoscopes: Life During Mercury Retrograde | StyleCaster ›
- JUNE 2021 ASTROLOGY HOROSCOPE FOR YOUR ZODIAC SIGN ... ›
- June 2021 Horoscopes — Love and Career Predictions | Allure ›
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Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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I thought that it was important to address this term for a couple of different reasons. One is for the reason that is mentioned in the origin story of sobergasms that I will address in just a sec. Another is because…people who are in long-term committed relationships? I think it’s pretty safe to say that, unless they both have some sort of substance abuse situation going on, most of them have sex some, if not most of the time, without alcohol (and certainly without drunkenness) being involved. Those who engage in casual/recreational sex, though? Well, I’ve got some stats included in this piece that will show you how much alcohol and copulation go hand in hand in a lot of those instances.
And although some studies say that casual sex (i.e., hook-up culture) isn’t quite as rampant as it was, even just a few years ago, at the same time, let’s not act like it isn’t still happening. Hell, every time we hop on social media, we see evidence (and sometimes fallout) of that. Plus, while many people are out here declaring that they don’t want or need marriage anymore (chile) — do you hear them saying that they feel the same way about sex?Yeah…exactly.
With all of this being said, let’s take a moment to look into what sobergasms are really all about and why, if you are sexually active and are not in anything serious, you should strongly consider having (more of) them.
The Origin Story of Sobergasms Is…
GiphyAight, so here’s the backstory of sobergasms. Last year, right around the holiday season, the sexual wellness brand Lovehoney decided to partner up with an alcohol-free drink company (CleanCo) to create a mocktail (I will share the recipe in just a sec) — you know, a cocktail that doesn’t have any alcohol in it. They did it because their UK (where they are based) research revealed that people tend to drink almost 40 percent more during the holidays (in the US, Americans reportedly drink twice as much as they usually do around that time).
If you add to that the fact that Lovehoney conducted their own study which cited that 64 percent of participants have admitted to having sex while being intoxicated and yet only 20 percent said that they actually enjoyed it.
And that was the main motivation for why Lovehoney came up with sobergasms: it’s a way to encourage people to be more intentional about going without drinking (so much) so that they can engage in the kind of sex that they will actually find to be pleasurable; especially since their findings also discovered that only 29 percent of men and 11 percent of women have consistent orgasms when they are drunk compared to 45 percent of men and 15 percent of women who do when they are sober.
As I thought about all of this, I decided to go on my own fact-finding mission about alcohol and its relationship to sex. It helped me to come up with even more reasons to cosign on sobergasms — and I’m hoping that it will do the same thing for you.
Before I share 10 interesting stats, first, the recipe for the mocktail that Lovehoney and CleanCo came up with:
Sobergasm Clean Drink
25ml fresh lime juice
50ml CleanCo Clean T
1 tbsp fresh orange juice
1 tbsp hot honey
Sea salt, chili flakes, and lime for garnish
You can click here for thorough instructions on how to make it. Over on this side of the pond, we’re pretty big on mocktails ourselves and so, if you'd like to test out some other recipes, check out “10 Spring/Summer Cocktails (& Mocktails) That Your Vagina Will Truly Enjoy” and “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too.”
And while you’re pondering which mocktail you would actually like to try first, let’s get into some other reasons why oftentimes “less is best” when it comes to mixing sexual activity with alcohol consumption.
10 Stats to Keep in Mind When It Comes to Mixing Sex with Alcohol
GiphyWhen it comes to how many people partake in alcoholic beverages, Gallup cites that 65 percent of Americans who are over the age of 21 claim to do so. Out of those, the average amount of drinks that they consume on a weekly basis is around four. The preferred drink of choice? Wine (31-35 percent) with liquor being a close second (30 percent). Now factor all of this into your mind as you read the following information about alcohol and its relationship to sex:
1. One study revealed that almost 30 percent of participants were less safe when it came to their sexual decisions due to them having alcohol in their system.
2. About half of the sexual assaults that happen on college campuses involve alcohol whether it’s the perpetrator, the victim, or both.
3. Among college-aged women, when they are having sex while in a relationship, alcohol is involved 20 percent of the time. When it’s casual sex? Alcohol is involved 53 percent of the time (heavy drinking happened a whopping 36 percent of the time).
4. 42 percent of college students binge drink and 400,000 of them have sex without using a condom while consuming alcohol.
5.One study revealed that almost 72 percent of college students regretted their sexual decisions at least once. Out of the ones surveyed, almost 32 percent said that alcohol was involved when they did.
6.Of people aged 18-25, more individuals regretted having sex while having alcohol in their system than they did when it came to weed or ecstasy.
7. Women tend to participate in “non-traditional” sexual acts and masturbate more when they are intoxicated than when they are sober.
8. Although a small amount of alcohol in a woman’s system can arouse them sexually, high amounts will decrease it and can even make it harder for them to become naturally lubricated.
9. Alcohol increases the probability of having more sex partners for women.
10. Alcohol can make it more challenging for women to climax.
When you take all of this in, although I certainly appreciate how Lovehoney has brought to our attention that too much alcohol can make sex less physically pleasurable, as you can see, it can also make coitus more risky, potentially more dangerous and it can cause us to make some pretty unwise decisions, if we’re not careful as well.
And so honestly, this additional intel should further solidify why you should be uber cautious and super careful if you are going to bring alcohol into the picture when it comes to having sex with another person — again, especially if it’s recreational sex. Because even though intercourse, on average, lasts between 3-7 minutes (Google is right there), that small window of time can result in a lifetime of consequences that you may not wish to experience.
Besides, it’s not like sober sex doesn’t have its own benefits…
5 Benefits of Having Sex While You’re Completely Sober
GiphyYou know what’s interesting about the word “sober”? It doesn’t just mean that you aren’t drunk; it also means that you are “rational,” “self-controlled” and “level-headed” — and yes, when you are about to have sex with someone who you aren’t in a serious, long-term or exclusive sexual relationship with, it’s best that you are all of these things. Because while alcohol can initially make you feel like sexual activity will be more fun, sober sex has the following five proven things to offer.
1. You can better trust your decisions. Recently, I watched a video of four women who taped and posted themselves driving drunk. Moments later, all of them were ejected from the vehicle that they were in and only one survived (and she is in critical condition). Imagine if they could go back in time and go without having alcohol in their system before getting in that vehicle. SMDH.
When it comes to today’s topic, no matter what pop culture tries to tell you, any act that can potentially result in you conceiving or contracting something that doesn’t have a cure is serious as all get out. That’s why, especially when it comes to casual sex, you want to make sure that you go into the act as level-headed as possible — and you can only really do that if/when you are sober.
2. You can clearly articulate your needs and expectations. We’ve all seen a movie (or personally know someone) where a woman got tipsy and wanted to do certain sexual things; however, as alcohol began to affect her system even more, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go further or not. When you’re sober, it’s so much easier to articulate what you want/don’t want and what your expectations are. T
hat said, there are so many people who have sex-related regrets and a big part of the reason is because alcohol totally clouded their judgment and sometimes altered their thoughts and words. Definitely something to (always) keep in mind when it comes to consuming alcohol in the presence of others.
3. You’re more present. I also want to make sure that I touch on some of the things that prompted Lovehoney to come up with sobergasms in the first place. As far as the purely pleasurable side of sex goes, ask anyone who has a satisfying situation in their bedroom and I’m willing to bet that one thing that they will advise is to not overthink the experience and to remain in the moment.
When you’re intoxicated, your mind tends to be all over the place. When you’re sober-minded, it’s easier to remain focused.
4. Sex definitely tends to be more pleasurable. I’ve already shared with you that you are wetter and it’s easier for you to climax when you don’t have a lot of alcohol in your system. A part of the reason is that, since your brain is your biggest sex organ, it’s important to keep in mind that alcohol has a way of negatively affecting the communication pathways of your brain; when that happens, it can cause your moods to become erratic and you tend to become less coordinated too.
Not well-lubricated. Not climaxing. In a bad mood. Do those that sound like the keys to an awesome sexual experience? Right…absolutely not.
5. There is a lot less regret. Once you have sex with someone, you can’t take it back. That’s why it’s so important that you go into the act feeling like this is something that you really want to do (the person and the acts included); you significantly decrease the chances of you having this type of certainty when you’re not sober. And sexual regret can sometimes be one of the hardest things to get past.
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Sobergasms. Although there seem to be new terms that come up daily, one that I can definitely get behind is that. Because it encourages everyone to be sober-minded and sexually responsible in order to ultimately have a more fulfilling sexual experience.
And I will certainly raise a mocktail to that.
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