The first part of the month invites us to be more intentional about our self-care practices. With Mercury transiting through the sensitive sign of Cancer, we are encouraged to sweeten up our dialogue with self and others. With Chiron going Retrograde on the 15th, some deep healing is under way related to how we define our identity. Once the Sun shifts into Leo, it's time to show the world what you're made of. The exchange between Venus and Mars this month reminds us to not take everything so seriously--especially matters of love and romance (at least for the time being). Check out how your zodiac sign is affected in the month ahead!
Aries
AriesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with a sweet New Moon on the 9th inviting you to plant the seeds for a new home, renovations, or a new addition to the family. When Mercury transitions into this part of your chart, be mindful of some minor inconveniences and challenges that push you to redefine what home and security means to you. On the 15th, Chiron begins its retrograde through your sign, giving you a chance to put into practice the lessons you've been learning in establishing more independence in your life.
The Sun shifts into Leo on the 22nd encouraging you to reconnect with your inner child, creativity, and pleasure.
The Full Moon on the 23rd could illuminate some misalignments within your tribe, which could result in you choosing to go separate ways. Once Mercury enters Leo, you're confidently expressing your truth regardless of whose feathers you ruffle. July wraps up with Venus meeting up with Mars on the 29th which could place you, or someone you work with, under some scrutiny. Get your inner critic in check so it's not wreaking havoc in your life and others.
Taurus
TaurusLaci Jordan for xoNecole
Life gets sweeter with the New Moon in Cancer on the 9th helping you take on a more gentle approach with communicating to yourself and others. When Mercury enters into this part of your chart, you're reminded that "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything." That also goes for the thoughts that you have about yourself and your worthiness to be nurtured. During Chiron Retrograde, you're invited into the depths of your subconscious to clear up old hurts and disappointments that trigger a sense of rejection or alienation within you.
On the 22nd, the Sun enters Leo which could kick up a little tension amongst family or in the home. Choose to lead with love, not your ego.
The Full Moon on the 23rd has you feeling pulled in various directions. Even through the discomfort, a sudden breakthrough can occur, shifting you in a more solution-oriented direction. When Mercury enters Leo, signing a lease or contract for a new home or investment property is supported. By the end of the month, Venus meets up with Mars in Virgo encouraging you to lighten up and let your inner child live.
Gemini
GeminiLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month kicks off with a New Moon on the 9th inviting you to set some intentions for your financial security. Seek out ways to align with money-making opportunities that support your personal values and fulfill you emotionally. When Mercury enters this part of your chart, contracts and negotiations are up for discussion. On the 15th, Chiron begins its retrograde, giving you a chance to put into practice the lessons you've learned about self-reliance. Your social network or friends could be triggering your need for space so kindly communicate your need to just do your own thing for a while.
The Sun shifts into vibrant Leo on the 22nd, making you the talk of the town. Don't be afraid to shine that brilliant light of yours no matter who it blinds.
The Full Moon on the 23rd has you in the spotlight sharing your gems of wisdom and experience with those that look up to you. Travel restrictions may also be released around this time. When Mercury enters Leo, your social media following and engagement can increase. The month wraps up with Venus teaming up with Mars in Virgo on the 29th. You're encouraged to be less critical and judgemental to experience the love that is available to you through the tribe you were born into.
Cancer
CancerLaci Jordan for xoNecoleJuly begins with a sweet New Moon in your sign inviting you to make a wish and blow out the metaphorical (or literal) birthday candles for what you'd like to manifest in the year ahead. On the 11th, Mercury enters this same part of your chart, making life a little busier. Stay on top of your emails, text messages, and phone calls during this transit. You never know who may be trying to connect with you. When Chiron goes retrograde on the 15th, you're on a mission to reclaim the power that is your authenticity.
The Sun shifts into Leo on the 22nd, bringing your focus to your values, self-esteem, and money.
The Full Moon on the 23rd helps you resolve a debt, but on a deeper level, this can be a powerful time of releasing old stories about you being too "weird". Dare to be different, boo! When Mercury enters Leo, don't be afraid to brag on yourself to get the most out of an opportunity. On the 29th, Venus meets up with Mars in Virgo which could have your inner critic going crazy. You're not faking this process of becoming the truest version of yourself. You're simply remembering who you've always been.
Leo
LeoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe first part of the month is a bit more quiet for you with the New Moon on the 9th. Rest and retreat into the sacred space of your bedroom. When Mercury enters this part of your chart, your dreams are more active than usual. Keep a journal to record the insights and decode the messages. On the 15th, Chiron begins its retrograde, inviting you to reestablish trust in your Higher Self, not anyone that you've deemed as some all-knowing guru.
The wisdom you seek is within yourself. On the 22nd, the Sun shifts into your sign which has you ready to celebrate your beautiful life and another year around the Sun.
The Full Moon on the 23rd could result in a severance of ties within a relationship (romantic or professional) if you don't think the connection is growing in the right direction. When Mercury enters your sign on the 27th, everyone wants to catch up, grab drinks, go to brunch, etc. You'll need a calendar to keep up with your busy socialite schedule. The month ends with Venus meeting up with Mars in Virgo which can help you in the art of financial negotiations.
Virgo
VirgoLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month begins with the New Moon inviting you to expand your social network. When Mercury enters this part of your chart, you're wanting to nurture the connections that mean the most to you. If your inner circle is just you, it's time to put yourself out there to connect with a tribe that wants to pour their love into you. When Chiron goes retrograde on the 15th, you're diving deep into a traumatic experience that stifled your independence and authenticity, making this an opportune time to address codependent patterns of relating and connecting to others.
The Sun shifts into Leo on the 22nd, inviting you to rest and prepare for your birthday season. The Full Moon on the 23rd empowers you to overcome a bad habit that's been affecting your physical and/or mental health.
On the 27th, Mercury enters Leo which has your dream life active. Also be mindful of repressed anger that wants to be expressed and processed. When Jupiter goes retrograde on the 28th, you're invited to do some soul-searching in regards to relationship patterns that you want to resolve and even some new ones that you want to establish. The month wraps up with Venus and Mars meeting up in your sign which makes you super sexy and magnetic. Do what you will with your magic.
Libra
LibraLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe month kicks off with a New Moon opening up opportunities for you that will help you climb up the ladder of success. When Mercury shifts into this part of your chart, you'll catch more flies with honey. Use your skillful art of negotiation to assure that any career moves are a win-win for everyone involved. When Chiron goes retrograde on the 15th, you're invited on a journey of reclaiming your independence. Healing childhood attachment wounds and addressing codependent relationship patterns is encouraged during this transit.
On the 22nd, the Sun shifts into Leo inviting you to connect with your tribe. Don't play it small and don't take it personally if you ruffle some feathers through your assertiveness.
The romantic Full Moon is a good time for a date night or girls' night out. Good vibes and conversation is all you need. On the 27th, Mercury enters Leo, reminding you to speak life into your dreams. Hold a positive vision in your mind to ensure epic results. At the end of the month, Venus meets up with Mars in Virgo. Keep your love matters discreet during this time. You can pop out with your boo in August.
Scorpio
ScorpioLaci Jordan for xoNecoleYour desire to expand beyond your comfort zone is at a high with the New Moon on the 9th. When Mercury enters this part of your chart, you'll be making arrangements to travel abroad. Opportunities to teach, guide, and nurture others can present themselves to you. When Chiron goes retrograde on the 15th, you're invited to journey inwards to address the psychological causes underlying any health concerns--especially recurring issues you've experienced since childhood.
On the 22nd, the Sun shifts into feisty Leo giving you the oomph you need to trailblaze your way to the top of the career ladder. The Full Moon liberates you from the expectations of your family.
Breakthroughs in generational healing are likely. A relocation may also be on the horizon as you re-establish what home means to you. On the 27th, Mercury enters Leo which has you feeling more assertive than usual. If you talk like a boss and act like a boss then you must be a boss. If all else fails, fake it til you make it. By the end of the month, Venus meets up with Mars in Virgo helping you overcome any friction so you can harmonize with your friends.
Sagittarius
SagittariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe first part of the month invites you to do some soul-searching. The New Moon supports you in exploring different healing modalities that can help you break through intimacy blockages developed in childhood. When Mercury shifts into this part of your chart, chatting with a therapist, tarot reader, or energy worker can guide you through some difficult emotions. When Chiron goes retrograde on the 15th, you'll be diving even deeper into the inner child wounds and the lack of support you received in helping you clearly define your identity separate from your parents and family.
The Sun shifts into Leo on the 22nd which has you ready for another passport stamp.
Where to next, thrill-seeker? The Full Moon is a supportive time for launching any new digital projects, products, or services. Who knows? You may just become the next overnight social media sensation. On the 27th, Mercury enters Leo encouraging you to share your wisdom and experience with others. Remember, "each one teach one". The month wraps up with Venus linking up with Mars in Virgo bringing the pressure in career matters but if there's anyone that thrives off of a challenge, it's you. Boss up, boo!
Capricorn
CapricornLaci Jordan for xoNecoleRelationship matters get a little more sensitive on the New Moon, inviting you to reconnect with your tender side. When Mercury enters this part of your chart on the 11th, contracts and negotiations are up for discussion. This is also a good time to re(establish) boundaries within your one-on-one connections. When Chiron goes retrograde, you're invited to examine your early childhood foundations. Were you given a chance to develop a healthy sense of autonomy or do you still find yourself constantly seeking advice from outside sources? 'Tis the season of learning to trust yourself.
On the 22nd, the Sun shifts into Leo, encouraging you to dive deeper into your psyche to explore blockages in your confidence and self-expression.
The Full Moon provides you with insight on how to break out of a financial rut. Rediscovering your hidden gifts and talents can be just what you need to get on top of money matters. On the 27th, Mercury enters Leo reminding you are more than what you're capable of giving to others. Being yourself is more than enough. By the end of the month, Venus meets up with Mars which could have you attracting people in your life that need guidance. Maybe it's time to offer some consulting services next time someone asks to pick your brain for free.
Aquarius
AquariusLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month kicks off with a New Moon inviting you to establish some new habits that will better support your emotional well-being. When Mercury enters this part of your chart, you may lack a little direction but just lean into the flow, trusting that you'll get back into your routine. When Chiron goes retrograde on the 15th, reconciling your self-dialogue so that it actually honors your individuality (instead of suppressing it) is recommended.
The Sun shifts into Leo on the 22nd, bringing your attention to partnerships, contracts, and boundaries. Make adjustments as needed and aim for a win-win scenario for both parties involved.
The Full Moon in your sign is the grand reveal for the upgraded version of yourself minus all of the baggage. On the 27th, Mercury enters Leo which has you feeling more assertive than usual. Remember, it's not what you say. It's how you say it. The month wraps up with Venus and Mars meeting up in Virgo to get your finances and debt under control.
Pisces
PiscesLaci Jordan for xoNecoleThe beginning of the month invites you to reconnect with your inner child and creativity. When Mercury enters this part of your chart, it's time to express yourself. You're an artist at heart and this may be a time in which you can create one of your greatest masterpieces. When Chiron goes retrograde on the 15th, you're invited into some deep soul retrieval work that will have you facing some traumatic experiences that negatively impacted your self-esteem. Your struggle was not in vain and the strength you gained from it will be able to inspire others to love on themselves that much harder.
On the 22nd, the Sun enters Leo which has you motivated to get yourself back into shape. As they say, "Health is wealth."
The Full Moon marks a time of cycles completing--particularly related to your feeling of belonging within a social group. Let go of that dead weight and allow yourself the gift of an authentic, supportive, and nurturing community. On the 27th, Mercury shifts into Leo helping you tackle the tasks on your to-do list that have been piling up the past couple of months. The month wraps up with Venus and Mars creating a little tension in your relationships but you've got the ability to weather these temporary energies.
Featured image by Laci Jordan for xoNecole
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At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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