One of the most bittersweet pains is losing a grip on love at an intersection between growth and complacency.
In some instances, the reason why we fall in love with a person for the comfort that they bring us is one of the factors for a relationship losing its last petal. When we grow inward, we tend to outgrow the things that surround us; a relationship is not omitted. Sometimes for our own evolution, we disconnect from the things that we knew for so long. For Juju, her recent accomplishments are a testament to her growth as a woman, a business person, a brand, and a student.
Finding our own way can come at the cost of losing things that are precious to us, but her recent reflections on her past relationship teach us that it is okay to seek more for yourself.
Juju, who was introduced to the world as Cam'ron's girlfriend, is turning into a mogul in front of the public eye. Currently on the show of Love and Hip Hop, the writer, model, and real estate owner also just received her Master's degree from Barry University. Prior to meeting Cam, Juju was working at an airport and working towards her real estate license in Florida. During their relationship, she was able to learn from Cam on the business side and began to find herself through creating herself. With her best friend by her side and her innate hustle, she was unstoppable. But it seems as though her success created a rift in the relationship between her and Cam.
In an interview with The Breakfast Club, Juju maturely expressed her point of view with the ending of the relationship.
"I would say that we were growing apart. I wouldn't blame Instagram or anything like that. I would just say that we're going in different directions. There were some things that I wasn't going to compromise and one of those things was I'm going to be respected. Because I show you that respect."
The two broke up more than six months ago but went public in November of 2017. For a year or so, there was a progressive decline taking place - Cam'ron stopped inviting Juju out to things that she was involved with since their friendship fifteen years prior. Juju's separate life of becoming the woman she wanted to be began to take a toll on the dynamic.
It isn't impossible that a woman's transition into her independence can become a threat to her partner, especially when the dynamic began with a partnership that was rooted in need. Juju's development in her career and her academia were not rooted in a need for someone else, but rather her choice to better herself and grow.
""I'm sorry I can't be the 2009 Juju. This thing called life is about elevating and growing and if that makes me not fun, I'm okay with that."
It's a beautiful thing to want more for yourself, to water the garden outside of the home you built inside someone else.
One of the most basic skills of survival is adaptability. When one can adapt to change quicker, it ensures an easier way of survival in a space of change. The same holds truth for relationships. As two humans begin to grow together against the inevitable flow of time, there is bound to be change. For a relationship to survive, it depends on the individual's ability to adapt to the changes that are occurring - especially when one is looking to pluck themselves at the roots and relocate to the greener side.
"I knew he had it in him to make our relationship work because I know what he was capable of doing. So when he stopped doing that, I felt like we were growing apart and going in different directions and that's okay."
When you grow inward, you tend to outgrow many things around you. Old wardrobes from our past lives no longer serve the new woman who desires to walk into different rooms. It's important that we maintain gentleness with ourselves and stay grateful for the time spent in love.
To outgrow a partner is nothing to be ashamed of, but to look at with eyes of thankfulness.
Juju is teaching us that the best type of love is a love that can be walked away from with peace, because that is the type of love that watered you from the inside out.
Watch Juju's full interview below.
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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