When I was little, I didn't own white barbie dolls, and I never saw movies like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Beauty and the Beast. My version of Aesop's fables had a Goldilocks story featuring a little Black girl with gold dreadlocks. It wasn't that parents didn't like white people, but they did want me to understand that a white woman with blonde hair and blue eyes wasn't the only depiction of "beauty".
My mom made me aware of my privilege as a high-yellow (that's what we call it in the South) Black woman but also made it a point to let me know that I was a Black woman nonetheless. But as I grew older, as the only Black girl in my grade school class, I tried to dismiss the idea that I was different just because of my skin tone. I was sadly mistaken.
We all know, kids can be mean; and as hard as I tried to fit in, I always felt like an outcast. Nobody called me a n*gger or blackie, but I know for a fact that I was treated differently.
In these subtle moments of indifference, I understood that the color of my skin wasn't the only thing that made me Black, it was my experience; and when I say experience, I don't just mean the bad ones.
Hold that thought, I'll circle back.
Recently, Jordyn Woods was placed dead in the middle of a scandal featuring the Kardashians and Tristan Thompson. After being excommunicated from the clan by her former best friend, Kylie Jenner, and sister, Khloe Kardashian, Jordyn did an interview on Red Table Talkwith extended family member, Jada Pinkett-Smith, where she was given the opportunity to shed light on her truth and deny the accusations against her.
Red Table Talk / Facebook Watch
Since then, Jordyn has been booked, busy, and tight-lipped. Last weekend at the Nigerian Homecoming Festival, the influencer spoke out once again, explaining how her family has gotten the brunt of her negative media attention. She explained:
"My little sister was bullied in school, and I wanted to show her that I was bullied by the world."
The statement that followed has gotten Jordyn in some serious hot water with Black Twitter:
"I understood for the first time what it's like being a black woman in a just society. How we can be so disrespected, and nobody can really understand to that extent until you have lived it."
Jordyn, girl. I'ma keep it real with you because I have love for you. But somebody taught you wrong about what it means to be a black woman. Although we sometimes feel defined by our experiences, struggle is not what makes us who we are.
To some extent, I feel where Jordyn is coming from. The most disrespected woman in America is the Black woman. The most disrespected person in America is the Black woman, the most unprotected person in America is the Black woman, the most neglected person in America is the Black woman. Word to Malcolm X, I feel you, sis; but in 2019, Black women in America have been given the privilege by our ancestors to have other experiences, good experiences that define us, too.
I decided to take it to the streets and ask 4 women what they had to say about what it really means to be a black woman:
Sheriden Chanel, Managing Editor
"I've had many reaffirming moments about my Black identity throughout my life. Whether it's being acknowledged by a fellow Black woman that I'm glowing or yesterday, when the lady in the lobby told me that I was giving her a melanin charge with the embrace I gave her. I think the first time I ever felt that way specifically was the constant my dad provided in repeatedly making me aware of my magic. My skin is beautiful, my hair is beautiful, I am beautiful. My dad instilled the power of being Black AF in me always. When I have my fro out and when someone acknowledges my crown or whenever I referred to as a Queen -- I feel Black AF daily but the little moments other people bear witness to my magic makes me feel that power even more."
Michelby Whitehead, PR Specialist
"Trust me; I too get annoyed when white people scrunch up their faces in confusion right before I speak, acting like it's automatically difficult for them to interpret what I'm about to say. But the way white people see us has never resonated with my actualization of what it is to be Black. Every time I hear a new song of any genre and my hips catch the beat in less than five seconds, it's a reminder I'm Black AF. When I'm ready to embark on a new venture and see melanin faces that have done it before me with little resources, I'm reminded of what Black Girl Magic is."
Pep Holman, Bridal Coach
"One moment that made me feel Black as hell was during Hurricane Katrina. At the time I was in the National Guard and we set up a distribution center where we gave out food and water to families who just lost everything. I remember handing a box of food to a Black woman who looked completely shaken up. When she made eye contact with me, she gave the slightest smile and whispered, 'Thank you!' On that particular day, I was the only Black female sergeant on duty. I can express how proud I felt. I just know one thing, when you're in a crisis, there's a certain level of comfort that Black women provide -- Black Girl Magic."
Shellie R. Warren, Life Coach & Writer
Cody Uhls
"Every time I wear a graphic tee that praises unapologetic Blackness---from my one that shouts out Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee to my A Different World throwback to the one with Nipsey Hussle on it, every time I get complimented on my 'fro, every time my goddaughter tells me that I'm pretty, every time I look at the cover of my first book and know that the cover art is me...every time a Black man I don't know approaches me and says things like 'Thanks for remembering what you look like' on the days when I'm totally au naturale (true story right there)...I could go on and on about what makes me feel good about being a Black woman."
"For me, the reality of being Black is far more of a privilege than it could ever be a struggle. It's dopeness personified and amplified. Daily. My self-love and ever-evolving Black awareness makes anyone's issues with how God made me totally irrelevant. To me, anyway."
Jordyn, I'm sorry if you've never had these experiences, and that the only way you know how to define Black feminity is through struggle. There's so much beauty in our experiences, as well as who we are as Black women, even if you don't see that reflected in the mainstream.
Featured image by Jordyn Woods/Instagram.
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert