
Underpaid And Unappreciated: Why More Millennials Have Less Loyalty To Their Employers

“I'm too fly for this s**t," a voice declared in the back of my head about two years ago as I sat across from a team of middle-aged managers who were debating about a tea party invitation I created. “I just feel like 'Keep Calm and Tea Party On' might be a trigger for these women in recovery. Why don't we just call it a 'Mother's Day Tea'?" one manager suggested as I felt the creativity being sucked from me one dry suggestion at a time.
The non-profit I worked for was hosting a tea party for the women in drug and alcohol recovery we served, and while management debated over Times New Roman font and the temptation of too good of a time (You didn't know? Tea parties do one thing: Pop…like Chris Brown's pelvis during a Michael Jackson tribute), other staff who worked directly with these women on a daily basis made failed attempts to remind everyone that we should focus on ways to highlight the progress these women had made rather than argue over whether a party invitation would send someone nosediving into a coke binge.
Seriously, the way these women were debating the invitation, you would've thought a million-dollar deal with Lipton was on the table, not a simple celebration honoring local women who were making steps to be better mothers.
For the next two years, I was employed as a Communications and Outreach Coordinator at a small parenting non-profit that consisted of more of the same. I spent my days defending any creative idea I dared to present and was always told that my ideas were “too edgy". Infographic? Too modern, let's stick with that pie chart from Microsoft Word 2003. A funny parenting meme on to lighten the mood every Friday on social media? Nope, parents don't need to laugh. Let's talk about the suicide epidemic instead. When crippling budget cuts hit this past year, staff went into a spiral of panic and management checked out of boosting morale and actually managing the organization because they were too busy battling anxiety about their own job security. Before long, it was common knowledge that management would die in their offices clinging to their Times New Roman while any remaining staff would be lucky to be employed there for longer than three years.
I never planned to stay at the organization for the rest of my career when I initially applied, but for the first few years there were opportunities to grow and I felt like I was in a position to be mentored by my superiors. But sometime before my last year I “peaked" and it seemed that although management wasn't receptive to change, they also didn't have fresh ideas of their own to offer. Once I learned that not only was I not growing, but that the organization as a whole was stagnant, what was once a three-year plan turned into a three-month plan. A recent study revealed that I am not alone in my lack of loyalty. In their fifth annual global millennial survey, Deloitte, a multi-national professional services firm found that two in three young professionals expect to quit their current jobs by 2020. The survey also found that women were slightly more likely than men to leave their job in the next five years.
When it comes to the millennial workforce, these pros ain't loyal (See what I did there?) but why exactly are they so quick to leave their entry-level opportunities behind? Turns out, many of them were once optimistic grads like me hoping that their education and passion would land them in a position to make a difference in the world. Unfortunately what many of us are learning is the cold, hard truth of the corporate ladder: As much as we want to make a difference, most people still just want to make money.
“This year's survey results also show Millennials are steered by strong values at all stages of their careers; it's apparent in the employers they choose, the assignments they're willing to accept, and the decisions they make as they take on more senior-level roles," writes David Croickshank, Deloitte Golbal Chairman, “They want to work for organizations that have a purpose beyond profit, and they want those organizations to provide opportunities to develop leadership skills."
When I realized that my organization had reached a level of complacency where creating new leaders wasn't as much of a priority as cutting management a paycheck, I knew it was time to make my exit. It was a sobering thought as I watched my mother retire after 30+ years working for the same company she had been at since I was born. As she picked out a 32" TV as a parting gift for her years of service, I thought about how my professional career would more than likely be littered with decades spent in different positions at different companies. And as terrifying as the lack of job stability can sometimes be, I must admit it's a bit liberating to feel like if you hate your job you can leave it and not necessarily end up begging for change on the train. Admittedly after repeatedly being shut down by management and figuratively “sent into a corner" to keep busy and not be threatening, I checked out and started looking for other opportunities.
At happy hour, there was always a common theme among friends and colleagues of the same age: We all were working more than one job at a time and no one had stayed at one job longer than five years. Many might say millennials are flighty or entitled and disregard “paying our dues" before landing our dream jobs, but I would argue that many of us are just frustrated from trying to bring new ideas to organizations and individuals who fear change. We all won't be Mark Zuckerberg, but you can't discount all of the thirty-somethings who are building blogs, designing apps and using their imagination to challenge tradition and find new ways of doing things that make the world better one “edgy" idea at a time. And the one thing I love about being a millennial is the mindset that you don't have to choose between being employed and happy.
[easy-tweet tweet="You don't have to choose between being employed and being happy." via="no" usehashtags="no"]
The survey also revealed key differences between men and women when it comes to job satisfaction. 48% of the women surveyed said they felt overlooked for potential leadership positions contributing to the idea that gender bias in the workplace is still a very real thing, even if it's only perceived. Women also were more likely to consider work/life balance and having a sense of meaning in their work while men solely focused on product and performance. While some might say women should get up out their feelings and focus on the work, I think there's something to be said about wanting what you do to make a difference in some way.
I wasn't the type of employee to stop being a team player every time management didn't give me the green light on an idea I thought was great. I felt that I had played my part in the first few years grabbing coffee, working after hours (sometimes for free), and being accessible at any time via cell phone. I took it all as the grunt labor that comes with an entry-level position. Despite budget cuts that created what was often a very bitter working environment, I tried to find fulfillment in the parts of my job I still could and go above and beyond to make sure I was doing my part.
Nonetheless, I saw my layoff coming a week before it happened. I had packed up my desk secretly days before and made my peace with the whole idea of being unemployed before approaching my boss with a talk she was hesitating to have, “I can't log into the company accounts, so is there something you want to discuss with me?" I asked, refusing to have my time wasted as she attempted to wait until the end of the work day to give me the news. Immediately she grabbed for tissues before grabbing my release papers before she uttered, “It's just this money situation."
There's no love lost and I refused to take the layoff personally, but one crucial lesson I learned about job loyalty is that it's not worth your time to invest in any company that isn't investing in you.
[easy-tweet tweet="It's not worth your time to invest into any company that isn't investing in you"]
True leaders don't shut down or dismiss ideas, but find ways to make them better. And most importantly, the best leaders put the value and morale of their team before their own fragile egos. Maybe I do sound like an entitled millennial, but one thing I remain confident in is that no one should have to spend eight hours of their day somewhere they hate for the rest of their life. Building a stable career is as much about how a company can benefit you as much as it about what you bring to the table, and sometimes a paycheck isn't always enough.
Writer, sexual health superhero, and #BlackGirlMagic and #BlackBoy curator regularly featured on @Madamenoire. Toya can usually be found in between her earbuds, listening to trap music and refreshing her browser for concert tickets. Tweet her @thetruetsharee.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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More Than A Meal: How Bryant & Daniella Found Love In The Kitchen
How We Metis a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
They say the best relationships start off as friendships, and Bryant aka Chef Baul, and Daniella Williams are living proof of that. The couple met on the job and from there, their relationship organically blossomed into something much more.
Now married for almost three years, the couple has grown their family and businesses, opening a brunch restaurant, Betty Sue’s, in Atlanta.
From the day they met, food has always played a role in their relationship, and working together in the food industry is what we call a full circle moment. Learn more about Bryant and Daniella’s story of finding love with one another.
How they met.
Bryant: We met at a mutual clients’ house. She was doing the lady hair, and I was cooking for the lady. The client sent her downstairs to record me while I was cooking to, I guess, see what I was cooking, and I caught her recording, but we didn't talk. I caught her recording, we laughed it off, and she went about her day.
So I guess that was the first thing that made us interact with each other. A few months down the line, I think she posted something [on social media]. I hopped in her DM and responded to it, and then we decided to just meet up and hang out. I looked at her as an entrepreneur. I'm an entrepreneur. She don’t need nothing. I don’t need nothing. It's good to hang with people who don't need nothing from you.
When we linked up, our chemistry was just so soft and just so nice. She is a great person, but after meeting up with her [for the] first time, she went back to Miami. She came back [to Atlanta], and we just kicked it off that next weekend, and ever since then, we've been locked in.
Daniella: That same client had flew me back in so I knew I had to come up here for work. But I told him that we'll meet up and [go] on a date and see each other again. When that happened, everything else was history. It just happened organically. It wasn’t forced or anything.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
First impressions.
Bryant: I knew for a fact for her to come downstairs and try to record me, I knew that she was brave, and that said a lot about her, because I barely even talk when I'm cooking for my clients. So you have to talk to somebody for them to feel comfortable to play with you, or do certain things. I feel like the client sent her downstairs because she knew that she's an outspoken, bubbly type of person who don't mind laughing it off if she gets caught doing it.
When she came back to Atlanta, she booked me to cook for her family. So while I was cooking for her in the kitchen, the whole time she was in there talking to me. It was like a date in the kitchen, and I cooked her food. Once the food was laid out, I just left. We had a great conversation when I was cooking for her, and also when she came downstairs and tried to record me.
Daniella: I was impressed how he was multitasking because I was asking him deep, interesting questions, and he was cooking the food, and he was still answering my questions. But I was in a relationship at that time, so I wasn't really in tune. It was no emotions. But when I came back and flew in to work, we met with each other.
He came and picked me up from the hotel and we drove around Atlanta, sightseeing. We went to the African club. So when he came downstairs, I was like okay, you not gonna hug me, you not gonna say nothing? He was shocked and we stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
We stayed together for like eight or nine hours, and he took me back to the hotel. I think he picked me up around nine at night. He took me back to the hotel around seven in the morning. Then he walked me to my hotel door. He gave me a hug and he gave me a kiss and said, 'I love you.' And I was like, what?
The one.
Daniella: When we first linked up, he took me around Atlanta. He was soft and gentle. He was a gentleman. He opened the door for me and I never had nobody open the door. He opened the door every single time I was going in and getting out the car, and when we went to that restaurant. I was like, [there’s] something about him, and he was just nice, calm and patient. So I knew he was a little different from what I'm used to.
Bryant: [I knew she was the one by] how she cared so much. She didn't really know me like that. She knew of me, but she cared so much about me. When we first met, she would lay on me and just relax. For someone who just wants to relax on you, that says a lot about them towards you. It wasn't like I had to prove myself and she didn’t have to prove herself with me either. It wasn't nothing like that. We were willing to take whatever came with it. But it just was really a break. It was like the best me meeting a woman because I didn't try.
Any other woman, I might be trying to dress up, take her to this place, I did not try at all. I picked her up and I actually thought that she wasn't gonna go on the date with me because of her status and my status. I'm such a laid back homey dude and she's from Miami. I thought she would be on the City Girls, you gotta do this, do that. But she wasn't. She was the total opposite. She was a homebody, chill, like me.
Bryant and Daniella Williams
Courtesy
Marriage advice for couples.
Bryant: Work together. Communication, put your mind together.
Daniella: And keep your family out your business.
Bryant: Keep it private please. Y'all work it out first. When y'all make sure it's solidified, then you tell them, or let them find out on their own. Privacy is the most valuable thing.
Daniella: And date each other because people get married and they stop doing the things that they did to get you, or stop doing the things that they did while they were in a relationship with you, before y'all got married. No, do the same thing. For me, I get bored easy, and I think he knows that. So just keep it spicy. Keep it interesting.
Bryant: We like spontaneous stuff like last-minute trips, trying different foods, going out the country just off a spur of a moment. You gotta make it fun. Don't just make it all business. And I think one person out of the relationship needs to take the initiative to make sure their partner is relaxing and at peace. A lot of people carry functional depression to where they’re functional, like we're doing this right now, but they can be going through something.
I don't think it's male or female. I think whichever one, the other partner should notice it and work with their partner to get through whatever they get through, like, for postpartum depression and stuff. That's something that most men don't even really know exist, but that's something when she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her.
She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much. So you got to be considerate of your mate's mental state and their mental well-being, because when it's gone, it's gone and it takes a lot to get it back, so I think that's important.
When she had our daughter, I had an anti-postpartum depression plan put in place for her. She didn't know about it, but I knew I was gonna be extra sweet to her. She won't have to think about doing nothing with the little baby. My little girl was watching the football game with me, when she was a few weeks old, because I was giving her that peace, so she can just relax, because her body has been through so much.
If you see something not right with your spouse, help them get help. It's okay for them to talk to a therapist by themselves, or it's okay for them to talk to somebody, but don't just sit there and let them go into this decline and self-destruction. I think that's the most important, because sometimes she be overwhelmed, and I have to be that person to hold her up. And then sometimes I'm overwhelmed. To her, baby, I don't want to do this no more. She's like, you gonna do this. We gonna do this. And she reminds me who I am. I remind her who she is, and we come back feeling more motivated.
Daniella: I think business owners should date business owners because they understand your hustle, your hunger. They understand when you can have a day where you make $0 and you have a day when you make $1,000. But I feel like if you dating someone who is in corporate America, and you a business owner, there's going to be a lot of friction, a lot of tension, and I just feel like I want to date someone that has the same drive as me.
Because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to build a bear, build a man, and I have to pull you and drag you, or just being with somebody who got they self together. For instance, my last relationship. I won't say I was the breadwinner, but I was kind of established, and I felt like I was sleeping with the enemy. I was growing fast and I wasn't stagnant. I was trying to get to the next level. He started to be jealous of me and I feel like a lot of women deal with men trying to be jealous of them. Men also have ego issues where they don't really want their woman making a certain amount of money or making more money than them.
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