
Jesse Williams & Aryn Drake-Lee's Messy Divorce Proves Every Couple Needs A Prenup

For better or worse, through thick and thin, we make a commitment to stand by our partners from the day we meet at the altar until death. But sometimes, the story doesn't play out that way. If that happens to be the case, you and your partner have to decide what comes next. Whether it's the kids, the house, or any other material assets that you may have acquired over the course of your marriage, you two must decide how those things will be fairly allocated. Although the last thing on your mind when preparing to marry the love of your life is getting divorced, knowing where you stand if you ever happen to grow apart can be one of the healthiest things you ever do in your relationship.
For example, over the past few years, Jesse Williams and his ex-wife, Aryn Drake-Lee have been engaged in a very public divorce that hasn't quite come to an end. After being married for five years and having two children, Aryn and Jesse split in 2017 but are still having some very public financial disagreements. Recently, it was reported that the Grey's Anatomy actor denied his ex-wife's $200,000 request for attorney's fees, and the actor currently pays $100,000 a month in spousal support and child support (based on a reported monthly income of $521,000).
While their tumultuous divorce may have created some bad blood, there was a time where Aryn and Jesse were very much in love. The two had been together for a total of 13 years, and when they met, Jesse explained that she was a well-traveled go-getter who elevated and supported him in ways he didn't think were possible. In an interview with USA Today in 2010, the actor said:
"I was a teacher when I met her, so she's been with me through all different facets of my career. She's stuck with me through thick and thick and thick and thin. We know each other in and out."
Although Jesse and Aryn may have begun their union with unconditional love and empathy, their relationship is now one that is defined by court orders and tabloid rumors. Jesse and Aryn's messy divorce battle is a cautionary tale that proves every woman should sign a prenup before they get married.
John Shearer/Getty Images for GQ Magazine
While Jessie claims that Aryn is seeking a "free ride", the former real estate broker finally opened up about her side of the story in an interview withPeople. She explained that while initially, she was the sole breadwinner in her household, things changed once they had children and her former husband's career began to thrive.
"When the divorce process started I had two nursing babies, and I am the one that ran our household for the 14 and a half years that he and I were together in the same house. And for our children, and for the creation of the businesses that we built together when I left my career in New York for us to move to California to pursue his, and then, as a result, built it…I knew, as the one that was really holding it all together, that I didn't have a lot of room to fall, even though I was falling."
Aryn explained that during her marriage, she fell victim to the unrealistic idea that a woman should take care of everyone but herself, and it didn't take long for her to reach a breaking point. Now, she's using her own experiences to help other women fight this sterotype and heal themselves in her new podcast, BBSARETRASH (Babies Are Trash). She explained:
"I think a lot of women are still in the place where we're pretending like we can do everything, and it's not realistic, it's not holistic, and it's not sustainable. I want to empower women to find their voice, to take the mask off so that they can really find the connection and the community that they're seeking."
Aryn says that she decided to create the community because she felt so isolated during her divorce and knew that there were other women who had also had similar experiences.
"I was in a place where I needed the support that was going to help to ground me. Most everybody I had spent the eight years here in LA with all went with him. Hollywood and I bump heads. It was never my value system, and it was never something that I was striving for. t never felt comfortable for me because of how superficial it was. And then that all became abundantly clear when everybody went left."
Divorce is scary and sad, and although none of us ever truly want to experience that type of heartbreak, sh*t happens. When people don't grow together, they grow apart, and that's exactly why Aryn says that her split from Jesse was the wakeup call she didn't know she needed.
"It was a blessing in disguise because it was a real slap in the face to see who was around us and why, and at that point, it became very clear. And it cleared a pathway for me to make a shift and get back onto a path that was more in alignment with how I wanted to live my life."
This couple proves that love is great when it lasts, but you should also be prepared for the slim chance that it doesn't. Take a page out of Aryn's book ladies, and ask for an agreement that states exactly how you two will manage if you don't wind up with the fairytale future you'd previously imagined.
The "p word" may be intimidating, but you and your husband-to-be both deserve to have a feeling of stability and security when it comes to your finances in the future. By putting these types of arrangements in place, I'm sure Aryn and Jesse could have both saved themselves a headache and a few hundred thousand dollars in the process.
Read Aryn's full interview with Peoplehere.
Featured image courtesy of John Shearer/Getty Images for GQ Magazine
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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How Power Women Protect Their Finances With Smart Money Boundaries
No matter what it is, setting boundaries can be challenging, especially when those boundaries involve money. But if you want to sustain success and financial freedom, boundaries are important, both with yourself and with others.
Many wealthy successful women have mastered setting boundaries and prioritizing accountability so that they can ensure they remain that way. Let's face it: If you want a certain quality of life and you work hard to achieve that, you don't want to risk it by taking on habits that jeopardize your financial stability.
Be inspired to not only set money boundaries but keep them by taking heed to the common financial boundaries power women of today establish:
1. They pay themselves first.
Building consistent savings habits is important to wealth-building no matter how much you earn, and the practice is often one that continues even after you're well-booked and well-paid. Actress, producer, and philanthropist Queen Latifah has always been a proponent of this after learning from her mom to "save your money."
This is the epitome of the energy behind paying yourself first. You squirrel something away and take care of yourself by taking care of your future first, before paying any bills. You invest in yourself (within your means and with a budget in mind, of course).
2. They don't loan money without clear repayment rules and expectations are agreed upon.
It's awesome to be able to help people out by loaning them money, but when you don't communicate clearly about repayment (or what will happen if the money is not repaid) you set yourself up for a cycle of taking on other's debts and maybe even building more debt of your own.
Unless you're doing charity, set those boundaries early about when and how a loan will be repaid. And if you know you won't get the money back, rethink the loan altogether.
3. They create budgets that are realistic and reflect their current lifestyle.
In her book, What I Know for Sure, Oprah Winfrey wrote, “I hope the way you spend your money is in line with the truth of who you are and what you care about.” This is key for many successful women, especially when they're budgeting and investing.
Issa Rae told Money.com, "I don’t splurge just because. I will never have 17 cars. I will never have expensive jewelry. I don’t spend that much on my clothes, or shoes. I will spend money on a stylist, and a makeup artist, because those things feel necessary for work. But material things? No."
There's a clear indication that there are clear value systems sustained by what matters to them no matter how much they make, and budgeting is a huge part of that.
4. They consider the long-term effects of a rash purchase before proceeding.
It's totally okay to treat yourself, but if you find yourself impulsively buying things you don't really need or always living check to check because you've maxed out your credit card to take that sixth trip in one year, there's a problem that might put a damper on those financial freedom plans. (That is unless your trip is part of how you make your money, and it's a worthy investment into expanding your prospects.)
Successful women are conscious of the long- and short-term effects of purchases, small and large. They're always thinking about how one action can impact the bigger picture.
5. They are givers and believe in the reciprocity of that.
Many of us are familiar with the famous quote, "To whom much is given, must is required," and there's that undertone of service and charity that is a common thread for wealthy, successful women, especially those who run businesses or lead brands. Involving yourself in acts of service not only enriches your development and that of communities, but it increases your exposure, network, and credibility, often leading to more opportunities to make more money.
Most leading CEOs, entrepreneurs, and professionals are big on giving back, whether it is through resources, a nonprofit, money, or their time. "As you become more successful, it's important for you to give back. Even if you can't financially give back, kind words and sharing about other businesses on social media mean so much. Every little thing counts. Help out your friends and family with advice, encouragement, and support," said Angela Yee, award-winning radio host and entrepreneur.
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Originally published on August 16, 2024