Happy New Year! The month and decade begin on a high note with Mars moving into free-spirited Sagittarius, giving us the push we need to shoot for the stars. As we ride the waves of eclipse season, energies may be a little chaotic. Lean into your faith in a higher plan and surrender with grace around the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse.
After spending the past five months retro, Uranus finally goes direct, requiring us to be flexible with the shifts taking place during this pivotal month. Matters of the heart get revived with a sense of magic as Venus begins her transit through Pisces on the 13th. Most of the action takes place in Aquarius for the rest of the month, inviting us to embrace our weird, connect with our tribe, and make a mark on the planet while we're here.
Check out what's in store for your zodiac sign in the month ahead!
Aries
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The fire gets lit beneath your ass as Mars begins its transit through Sagittarius on the 3rd, getting you hyper-focused on soaking up as much knowledge about your truth as possible—whether that's your spiritual beliefs, political views, or sense of morality. On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse crashes over you with some deep feels related to your home life and family matters, granting you clarity about which generational patterns you need to clear out. This could also indicate a time in which you change residences. Uranus goes direct on the same day and it's time to hit the ground running with all of those great money-making ideas you've been sitting on since August.
On the 13th, Venus moves into Pisces and love matters take on a more quiet, private approach with you likely spending more time tucked away in silky sheets with your lover. If you're single and looking, you could wind up meeting someone that shares similar spiritual beliefs and practices. Mercury moves into innovative Aquarius on the 16th with the Sun following behind on the 20th. It's time to reconnect with those like-minded individuals that make you feel like you're not "the crazy one". Keep in mind, that there are people just as weird as you are. The New Moon on the 24th could mark the beginning of a beautiful, new friendship that validates the visionary that you truly are.
Taurus
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The new year begins with fiery Mars moving into Sagittarius, heightening your sexual desires and encouraging you to explore any inhibitions that hold you back from embracing your prowess. If you've got any outstanding debt, now is a good time to conquer it (or at least strategize a plan for getting out of it). Eclipse season is ushered in by the Full Moon on the 10th may stir up some tension between you and your siblings. Strive to see beyond your projections of others and into their emotional wounds instead. Compassionate communication is your superpower around this time. On the same day, Uranus goes direct in your sign helping you feel more confident about marching to the beat of your own drum. You may even decide to revamp your appearance unexpectedly by dyeing your hair or splurging on a more eccentric wardrobe.
Around the middle of the month, Venus moves into sentimental Pisces to sweeten up your friendships and restore your faith in the bigger vision you're co-creating with the Universe. On the 16th, Mercury moves into Aquarius, enhancing your business acumen by gifting you with foresight to strategize your way to success. The Sun moves into this part of your chart on the 20th, helping you stand out amongst the competition, thanks to your leading-edge approach to your work. Recognition, or even a promotion, may be in store for your accomplishments around the New Moon on the 24th. Your influence is reaching new heights as well as your social media following. Use your power wisely.
Gemini
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
January kicks off with Mars moving into Sagittarius, heating up your significant relationships. The desire is strong and so are your opinions. Keep in mind that your truth isn't necessarily the truth. It's OK to share what you think without it turning into an argument (unless debating is a form of foreplay for you). Also, be mindful of pushy clients or business partners during this transit and do your best to temper your frustrations dealing with the constraints that others place on you. On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse brings your focus to money matters. Become more aware of your emotional states and how they affect the way that you spend money. Uranus goes direct on the same day, enhancing your psychic gifts. Pay attention to your dreams as they hold the key to some genius ideas and a peek into what's coming your way.
Venus moves into dreamy Pisces on the 13th, rekindling the sparks between you and your work. You may be on the receiving end of praises for the creative or spiritual works that you offer. When it comes to love, you may connect with someone in the same line of work as you. Around the middle of the month, Mercury moves into Aquarius with the Sun following behind on the 20th, enhancing your inquisitive mind with knowledge that you're soaking up on the internet. Going back to school is something worth considering as well with the New Moon giving you the push to submit those applications. This is also a good time to sign up for that online seminar, start writing that book, or prepare to teach others about one of the many areas of your expertise.
Cancer
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The beginning of the month brings your focus to your daily routines and with Mars moving into Sagittarius on the 3rd, you'll be itching to make some changes. Do your best to stay grounded while still inviting more variety into your schedule to make you feel more alive. Also be mindful of workplace drama and err on the side of caution when sharing your religious or political views during this transit. On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in your sign wipes the slate clean as you exhale the bullshit that's been lingering in your life, whether it's a mindset, habits, a job, or a relationship. Uranus goes direct on the same day, helping you feel more confident about the unique perspective that you bring to your social network or friend group. This is also a good time to explore some innovative ways to secure the bag via social media.
On the 13th, Venus moves into idealistic Pisces, inviting you to merge with your spiritual beliefs more deeply. Honor your truth—whatever that is for you. Fall in love with the process of learning more about yourself and your place in the world. Around the middle of the month, Mercury moves into Aquarius which has you spilling all of your feels on social media. The Sun moves into this same part of your chart on the 20th, reminding you of the importance of sharing your vulnerabilities and embracing your humanity. The New Moon on the 24th serves as a reset in your approach to nurturing more intimacy with your social network and friends. Allowing yourself to fully be seen can be scary but it's necessary to experience more fulfilling connections.
Leo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The new year begins with Mars moving into your sister sign, Sagittarius, on the 3rd. You're feeling sexy, adventurous, and ready to mingle. Spice up your life with romance and take that suitor up on that opportunity to get flewed out. If you haven't been feeling inspired, your creativity will flow a lot more easily during this transit. On the 10th, a Full Moon Lunar Eclipse helps you break through subconscious conditioning that inhibits you from embracing your emotions and receiving the nurturing you deserve. Pull out the Kleenex and schedule that therapy session to hash out those mommy issues. Rebellious Uranus goes direct on the same day and you could be on the receiving end of some surprise recognition for your work from a higher up.
The planet of love, and money, moves into sweet Pisces on the 13th, making you a magnet for financial support that seemingly falls from the heavens. When it comes to matters of the heart, you and bae are merging in mind, body, and spirit. If things have been rocky, couples therapy could be just what you both need to forgive each other and move forward. On the 16th, Mercury moves into Aquarius and you're focused on partnering up with more like-minded folks in love and business. As the Sun transitions into this same part of your chart, you're being recognized for your brilliant vision, making this an opportune time to whip out that proposal. The month winds down with a New Moon on the 24th inviting you to sign your name on the dotted line to solidify a new business relationship or to tie the knot.
Virgo
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The New Year kicks off with Mars moving into Sagittarius on the 3rd, making you restless for an adventure. If you're able to manage it, this is a good time to take a vacay to a new place that will stimulate your mind. Getting in touch with your ancestral roots is also favorable during this transit and you may feel pulled to visit the "Motherland" (wherever that is for you). On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse illuminates your creative and romantic blocks. What do you need to feel secure enough to express yourself and to experience more pleasure? Innovative Uranus goes direct on the same day inviting you to implement those genius ideas you've been sitting on since August. It's time to get in your bag!
The planet of love moves into ethereal Pisces on the 13th and your relationship gets all the more magical. You could find yourself feeling deeply connected to your partner through your shared spiritual beliefs and practices. If you work within the healing or spiritual arts, an influx of clients and partnerships are on the table. On the 16th, Mercury moves into Aquarius, making you a social butterfly amongst the workplace. Your curiosity about people is your superpower this month. The Sun moves into the same part of your chart on the 20th, encouraging you to get more organized especially if you create social media content for yourself or others. January winds down with an exciting New Moon on the 24th, inviting you to implement new habits and routines that can benefit your health.
Libra
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Happy New Year! The month gets going with Mars moving into fiery Sagittarius, giving you the extra oomph you need to get through those school assignments or make some progress with your business, thanks to social media. If you're feeling restless, a staycation could be just what you need to satisfy your wanderlust. On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse invites you to reassess whether your career goals are in alignment with what brings you a sense of security (both financially and emotionally). A big achievement of yours may finally be recognized around this time as well. Spontaneous Uranus goes direct the same day, helping you shift your money mindset from broke bitch to boss bitch.
Your ruling planet, Venus, moves into self-sacrificial Pisces, encouraging you to stand firm in those boundaries you've been developing. It's time to fall back in love with the work you do on a daily basis. Delegate those arduous tasks to the expert and stick to what you know (and enjoy). When it comes to love, you may get lucky meeting someone at the office or at the gym. Around the middle of the month, Mercury moves into Aquarius, flooding you with genius ideas for creative projects. This energy may have you feeling anxious, so do your best to stay grounded as you turn your vision into a reality. On the 20th, the Sun moves into the same part of your chart, inviting you to indulge in some adventure and romance. The New Moon on the 24th encourages you to let your inner child flourish by recommitting to those dreams you've swept under the rug.
Scorpio
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Money matters are your primary focus at the start of the year as Mars begins its transit through Sagittarius on the 3rd. The hustler spirit is bestowed upon you, so make the most out of this energy. Also spend some time figuring out what financial freedom means to you. This could involve you seeking employment opportunities that offer you the flexibility to work from anywhere in the world (as long as there's a wifi connection, of course). On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse marks the ending of a chapter within your spiritual development which could require you to ditch some old beliefs and practices that just ain't it for you anymore. Remember—there is no guru outside of you. Uranus, the great awakener, goes direct on the same day, encouraging you to join forces with people that value your weird.
On the 13th, Venus begins her transit through gentle Pisces to sweeten up your life with some much-needed romance. Are you ready to be swept off your feet? If not, channel your hopeless romantic vibes into a creative project that you can share just in time for V-Day next month. Halfway through the month, Mercury moves into Aquarius stirring up a bit of friction in the household or amongst your family. You all have the same goal but just different ways of reaching the destination. The Sun moving into this same part of your chart on the 20th reminds you to focus on the bigger picture. If you're searching the market for your dream home, this is a good time to connect with a professional who knows their stuff. The month winds down with a New Moon on the 24th, helping you restore the harmony for the greater good of everyone involved.
Sagittarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The new year takes off with Mars moving into your sign on the 3rd, giving you a pick-me-up after partying hard during your birthday season. Take advantage of this potent energy to knock out your to-do list and anything else that requires a lot of effort. You may feel a little more irritable than usual during this transit, so find some healthy ways to blow off the steam. On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse invites you to face your demons with a tender approach. In layman's terms, it's OK to cry, babe. Let yourself release those pent up feels related to issues with your mom or a lack of nurturing growing up. Uranus goes direct after a five-month retrograde on the same day. Time is money. Do what you must to create a more efficient schedule for yourself.
On the 13th, Venus moves into Pisces, encouraging you to beautify your home. When it comes to romance, you'll most likely want to lay low with bae in the comfort of your humble abode. Mercury moves into Aquarius on the 16th, gifting you with the gift of gab. It's time to make your debut on IG live to talk yo shit. A few days later, the Sun moves into the same part of your chart, making you super popular on social media. Use your power of influence for something bigger than yourself. The New Moon on the 24th inspires you to share your unconventional ideas, trusting that they'll resonate with the right people. Sometimes you have to ruffle some feathers to create some change. If anyone is down for the cause, it's you.
Capricorn
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
Happy New Year (and birthday for the January Cappies)! The month begins with energetic Mars moving into Sagittarius on the 3rd which has the potential to bring up some hidden frustrations to the surface. Triggered, much? Find some healthy outlets to express your anger to avoid unnecessary drama. Lean into whatever keeps you balanced spiritually to navigate this transit with more ease. On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse brings a huge revelation to the light, regarding a key relationship whether romantic or business. If the connection hasn't been working, it will likely dissolve around this time, granting you with a new perspective on how to approach your partnerships moving forward. Uranus, the great awakener, goes direct on the same day, encouraging you to think outside of the box when it comes to romance and creativity.
Venus, planet of love and money, moves into intuitive Pisces on the 13th and you could be getting lucky with online dating. Maybe it's time to respond to that message that's been hanging out in your DMs. When it comes to securing the bag, you could experience an increase in funds if you're promoting something for healing purposes. How can you connect with your audience on an emotional level that makes them want to invest in your brand? On the 16th, Mercury moves into Aquarius and you're talking business (but what's new?) that could bring you long-term security. With the Sun moving into the same part of your chart, you're advised to evaluate whether you're receiving a return on your investment. The New Moon on the 24th invites in a new opportunity that is more in alignment with your true value.
Aquarius
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
The new year has finally arrived (as well as your birthday if you were born in January). In the beginning of the month, you'll find much of your energy exerted towards reconnecting with friends and social networks. Be mindful of competition among your circle. Everyone has something unique and amazing to bring to the table. Utilize each other's strengths to strategize any group projects you're working on. The Full Moon Lunar Eclipse on the 10th helps you recognize which habits you need to ditch that ultimately drain you. How are you overextending yourself to the point that you're neglecting your own well-being? Give yourself the nurturing you deserve on a regular basis and notice how much your health improves. On the same day, Uranus goes direct helping you revolutionize your money mindset which ultimately has a ripple effect on your family as well. Call in the realizations needed to shift your lineage's energy from poverty to prosperity. Dare to take a risk and pave the way for a new relationship with your finances and family.
On the 13th, Venus moves into Pisces bringing in more money and more opportunities especially if you work in the healing/spiritual arts. This transit invites you to explore ways to increase your income that give you a deeper sense of purpose. And no, you don't have to sacrifice your earning potential by doing work that you love! Around the middle of the month, Mercury moves into your sign which will keep you busy and social in the weeks to come. Your birthday season officially begins on the 20th with a New Moon on the 24th reminding you to make a wish. Where do you see yourself a year from now? Dream big, babe. The world is yours.
Pisces
Laci Jordan/xoNecole
January kicks off with passionate Mars moving into free-spirited Sagittarius on the 3rd, getting you motivated for success. You've got what it takes to make your presence and contributions known in the professional world. On the 10th, the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse in Cancer illuminates how you need to nurture your inner child and creativity. Make more time for play and pleasure as these things are just as vital to your well-being as a good night's sleep. This energy could also reveal how you're sabotaging yourself in romance by consistently pursuing people that are unwilling to receive or give love. Stop rehashing your mommy issues with the people you date. As you learn how to nurture yourself more, the people in your life will reciprocate the energy. On the same day, Uranus goes direct helping you innovate the way you share your gifts and talents with the world.
You're receiving a lot of attention, and maybe some extra coin, when Venus moves into your sign on the 13th. This is a good time to revamp your appearance or wardrobe as well. Your confidence will be at an all-time high, making this the perfect energy for getting into some money magic. Around the middle of the month, Mercury moves into Aquarius, activating your dream world with reminders of your destiny. Take it easy as you spend time reflecting, and reconnecting, with a deeper sense of purpose. On the 20th, the Sun moves into Aquarius and your mind is buzzing with ideas, insights, and downloads. Ground yourself to process this information with more ease. Sleep is your best friend during this time. The month winds down with a New Moon on the 24th encouraging you to embrace the endings that must take place before you begin your new solar year.
Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
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Feature Photo by Laci Jordan/xoNecole
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The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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