The first season ofRed Table Talk was a tough act to follow, but Jada's squad just upped the ante with the release of their latest episode, which for the first time features her husband of 20 years, Will Smith, and promises to answer every question we've ever had about their previously private marriage life.
Will and Jada were joined by her two co-hosts, her mom, Adrienne, and daughter, Willow, and discussed how the two ultimately became "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". The couple dropped a ton of bombs during the discussion, including but not limited to how they met. She even revealed that she once went on a date with his Fresh Prince of Bel-Air co-star, Alfonso Ribeiro.
Will revealed that he was captivated by Jada after seeing her on A Different World and subsequently went on set to meet her. Upon his arrival, another beautiful woman caught his eye and would one day become his wife and the mother of his oldest son, Trey.
"The dude that was gone introduce me to Jada was with another girl and I was like who is that? And it was Sheree. I went to 'A Different World' to meet Jada and met Sheree and ended up marrying Sheree and having Trey."
It wasn't until years later when Jada and Will reconnected by way of a mutual friend that they would ever have a real one-on-one conversation, but at this point, Will was already married and did not believe in divorce. The night after he and Jada spoke, Will shared that he found himself crying in a bathroom stall because he knew that he had met the woman he was supposed to be with. Still, he remained faithful until Sheree until she filed for divorce.
"She hit me hard. Sheree filed for divorce on Valentine's Day. I was like ouch. And I still told her, no. You can't have a divorce. And she hit me with the, 'So you're gonna make somebody stay with you who doesn't love you?' And I was like nope, I'm not, I'm actually not. And I was like that was the one that got me. And I remember I was like, I'm going to sign the divorce papers."
That day, he walked to his car and called Jada, who had just bought a house in Baltimore, to come to L.A. for them to be together and she never spent a night in her new house. When she agreed, things moved quickly and they spent most of their time together. After two years of dating, Jada found out that she was pregnant.
Although the actress says that her children are her biggest blessings, at the time, those blessings were definitely disguised. In the episode, the couple said that the young mother knew she was pregnant almost immediately after conception and cried the entire night.
Jada revealed that when her mother found out that she was pregnant, marriage was mandatory and this was a concept that she fought until the end.
"I was like my life is never going to be the same. I was like what am I gonna do now? I really didn't want to get married... It was almost as if, Gammy was like you had to get married. Like, we have to talk about the wedding. I was under so much pressure being a young actress. I didn't know what I wanted to do. I just knew I never wanted to be married."
"I didn't want a wedding either. I just wanted it to be the two of us on a mountain like this is serious business."
On her wedding day, Jada was three months pregnant and sick to her stomach, both figuratively and literally. She even recalled walking down the aisle sobbing.
"I just never really agreed with the construct. I never have, I still don't. 'Til' death do us part is real for me', it's just all of the rules and all of the ideas. The accepted conventional definition of 'wife' in the paradigm, I'm not that."
Even today, Jada says that marriage is a social construct that she doesn't believe in but thinks that her mother made the right call and their 20-year marriage is nothing short of a miracle.
For anyone wondering how to build a relationship with longevity, Jada and Will say that the key is in communication. Early on in their relationship, they established that they would not raise their voices or use profanity in their communication with one another. Instead, they choose to walk away until they can respond with love. Will shared:
"I said Jada, this is the deal. I grew up in a household where I watched my father punch my mother in the face and I will not create a house, a space, an interaction with a person where there is profanity and violence. If you have to talk to me like that we won't be together. We're not gonna use any profanity in our interactions, we're not gonna raise our voice, we're not going to be violent. Because I can't do it."
"We never raised our voices, we took communication courses, all of that."
They explained that all things worth having are worth working for, and their miracle didn't come without healing some emotional wounds. This means being able to walk away when you're angry. The 47-year-old actress said:
"You really have to discipline yourself. For me, I had to discipline myself. And really handle that within myself and see, okay what are you angry about? And then come to peace and then go and talk to Will when I can actually have a commune conversation. Because really you're not communicating when you're talking to each other in anger. What I realize is like, you're beating up on someone you say you love, right? Versus, handle that with yourself. There have been plenty of times I've had to say, 'I can't deal with this right now'. Go through your thoughts, go cry, go curse, go kick a tree."
Jada and Will have been our #RelationshipGoals for nearly two decades, but they shared that grass is always greener, and celebrities aren't immune to marital issues.
Jada recalled one instance where she cried for 45 days straight, and Will didn't know or care to help. He shared that he even built her a house to feel better at one point, but later learned that he had only been building it for himself. Will said that although they were winning on the outside, they were losing as a family.
"As a couple, we are magical. We win in the material world. When we do it together, we win. 'The Karate Kid', 'Whip My Hair', 'Hawthorne', and the Nobel Peace Prize. Our family did that within a 6 month period."
"The only interview that Barack Obama did after winning the Nobel Peace Prize was me and [Jada]. Externally our family was winning. There was a period where [Jada] woke up and cried 45 days straight. It was every morning. I think that's the worst I've ever felt in our marriage. I was failing miserably, but on the outside, I was winning."
Despite their unique moments of crisis, it has been their common beliefs and intentions that have kept them together and are the reasons they will never divorce. One of the most important shared ideas they have is building and maintaining a successful family.
"Until this day, no matter what, family."
Check out the other secrets revealed during this week's Red Table Talk below!
- What Will Smith Taught Me About Setting Expectations - xoNecole ... ›
- Will Smith Talks Biggest Lesson Learned From 20 Year Marriage To ... ›
- THIS is the Reason Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith No Longer Say ... ›
- 6 Signs Your Partner Doesn't Love Himself - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith Thinks The Expectation Of Romance Ruins The Reality Of Marriage - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Signs A Man Doesn't Love Himself - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Make Your Marriage A Sanctuary - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Will Smith Made Jada Pinkett Smith Cry For '45 Days Straight ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith explains why she and Will Smith don't say they're ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith on Her 20 Year Marriage to Will Smith | Loose ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith reveals why she and Will Smith never got a ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith 'cried for 45 days straight,' husband Will Smith ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith on 'unconventional' Will Smith marriage | Daily ... ›
- Inside Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's 20-Year Marriage | PEOPLE.com ›
- Everything Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith Have Said About Marriage ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith Clarifies Open Marriage Statement: Will Smith ... ›
- Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith no longer say they are married ... ›
RELATED
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by stockbusters/Getty Images