Crying doesn't make you weak and smiling doesn't mean you're strong. I'll let that sink in for a minute.
I've always been considered a weak link in my family because I'm emotional. I cry when I'm happy, I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm angry, shit, sometimes I even cry when I'm hungry and I give no f*cks about how anyone feels about it because I know what happens when I don't.
Like a shaken-up bottle of my favorite carbonated drink, I explode all over everyone and everything around me, and I know I'm not alone in that feeling. It's my general opinion that people who don't cry are stressed TF out, and on the latest episode of Red Table Talk, Jada Pinkett Smith revealed that she can totally relate to the struggle.
As children, we are taught that big girls don't cry and quite frankly, neither do grown-ass women. While in theory, this mantra sounds good, it's unrealistic and problematic AF. On what Jada calls one of the most important episodes in RTT history, she explained that she only came to this realization after having an intimate encounter with her daughter.
"Willow had a moment not too long ago, when you had that upset and you were crying on the couch and I just came to you and held you and I said to myself, 'I wish I had done this more to her.' When you can just hold your little girl, have her tears, have her pain."
Jada explained that her lack of vulnerability as a mother could likely be attributed to her upbringing, which touted a strong belief in self-reliance and a false sense of strength:
"Back in the day if I would be crying or have an upset, the energy was always like, take that somewhere else and deal with it on your own. That's how I was treating myself, I didn't want to be with my own feelings."
The 48-year-old mother of three said that because she believed that a mother's first lesson to her child should be strength, after long, she developed a toxic cycle of avoidance that wound up damaging her relationship with her daughter in the long run. In an intimate moment, Jada took the opportunity to apologize to her daughter for her shortcomings:
"There's this wall, this armor and I was thinking about how it does a disservice to everybody we love, including ourselves. I want to just take a moment and say to you, I'm sorry."
Self-awareness is a superpower, one that can help you to mend even some of the most broken relationships in your life, and Jada agrees that this statement is big facts. Although in the past, Jada saw her daughter's tears as "offensive" she now recognizes that they were necessary.
"There was a time when her tears were so offensive to me, so offensive. I was like, 'Take that over there, we can't afford that here.' Not realizing, 'Bitch, you can afford that here. You're not in Baltimore anymore, okay? You absolutely can afford it here.'"
Check out the full episode below!
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
There's something about snuggling up in your favorite blanket and watching a comfort show or movie on Netflix, and what better time to do just that than in December? As the weather outside gets cooler, staying in becomes more of the norm. Thus, Netflix and Chill is a go-to. Luckily, Netflix has released new Black films and series on their popular streaming platform.
From Tyler Perry's historical drama The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington, to the Will Packer-produced comedy starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae, Little, this season is looking up.
See the full list below.
Little (12/1)
Regina Hall's character is a bossy tech mogul who has everyone scared of her, including her assistant, played by Issa Rae. However, when she transforms into her younger self (Marsai Martin), she learns how to be more kind to others.
Daddy Day Care (12/1)
Eddie Murphy stars in this film as a father who decides to open a daycare after losing his job.
30 For 30 Collection (12/2)
30 For 30 is an ESPN docu-series highlighting some of sports' legendary figures and moments. Some of the episodes include Winning Time: Reggie Miller Vs. The New York Knicks and Celtics/ Lakers: The Best of Enemies.
Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was (12/10)
In this special, the multi-talented Jamie Foxx returns to stand-up to give an unforgettable performance.
Blood, Sweat & Heels S2 (12/13)
The short-lived Bravo reality TV series documented the lives of a group of girlfriends making it in NYC. The show starred model-turned-podcaster Melyssa Ford, author Demetria Lucas, and the late TV host Daisy Lewellyn.
The Equalizer S1-3 (12/16)
The hit CBS show starring Queen Latifah is now available on Netflix. Watch the beloved actress kick ass and take names in this popular drama.
The Six Triple Eight (12/20)
The new Tyler Perry film starring Kerry Washington is a true story about the first and only Women’s Army Corps unit of color during World War II.
Christmas Game Day Ravens Vs. Texans (12/25)
While many will tune in to watch the Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans game, others will tune in to watch Beyoncé perform during halftime.
Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind At Radio City Music Hall (12/31)
Comedian Michelle Buteau's comedy special will focus on her life with twins, going viral, and much more.
Evil S3 (12/31)
While Evil was unfortunately canceled by CBS, viewers can rewatch the series on Netflix, with season three premiering December 31st.
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