Jada Pinkett Smith released a new series today (May 7) that she hopes will inspire families to be vulnerable and forthcoming with each other. Red Table Talk, which lives on Facebook Watch, features Sheree Fletcher (husband Will's ex-wife) as its first guest.
Through their conversation, Jada and Sheree reveal their personal struggles, with plans to encourage women to harmonize for the benefit of their children.
Last week, xoNecole had the chance to celebrate the launch of the new series at the Jeremy Hotel in West Hollywood with Jada and her mother, Adrienne.
Journalist Jaleesa Lashay pictured with Jada Pinkett Smith and Adrienne Banfield-JonesxoNecole
While the family has managed to build a healthy blended relationship, with Jada and Will serving as everyone's #relationshipgoals, Jada explained that it wasn't always that easy:
"Sheree and I started a blended family, before it was even a popular idea. We didn't have a blueprint and we had both come from broken families."
Jada was in her early 20s when she first met Sheree, who at the time was going through a divorce with Will and raising their son Trey, all while struggling with her own healing process.
"I remember when Jada came into the picture, and I was in the process of dealing with the breakup. It was a lot. In retrospect, we'd all probably make different choices."
Throughout their struggle, Jada and Sheree still managed to come together. A testimony that will hopefully resonate with women in similar situations. There's an abundance to be learned from these women and their maturity and ability to focus on the true priority - the children.
During our interview with Sheree, she mentioned that Jada loved Trey from the beginning. She even recalled the moment, when Trey and Jada first met:
"I remember Will said to me, 'I'm going to introduce him (Trey) to Jada this weekend.' When he came home, I asked him, 'So you met Ms. Jada? What did you think?' He said, 'Mommy. I really like her. I want to buy her a present.' And that didn't make me sad or jealous. That was music to my ears. So, we got her a gift. I wrapped it beautifully, and I put a card in there from myself. It simply said, 'Thank you for making a great impression on my son. Love, Sheree.' And that was our first interaction as blended. It was of gratitude."
It is that same gratitude and love that Jada desires for women throughout the world to unite and find. In fact, while the two have managed to maintain a healthy blended family for the past 22 years, Jada said their Red Table Talk conversation was necessary because it was the first time they both opened up to discuss the past.
"That conversation between us really brought deep healing, in regards to a lot of things that have transpired and brought us closer. We're hoping that people can feel like they can have their own red tables. The red table is a place where we can let it go and just be – our most vulnerable truthful selves."
Realistically, everyone's situation is different. However, as someone who comes from a blended family, I know that it is possible to build a healthy friendship when women are able to separate their ego from their purpose. I will never forget, at 16 years old, when my bonus mother and mom both joined me in the restroom at my sweet sixteen to help me change into my second dress. It was a moment of love and respect, that I understood even at sixteen.
In a 2013 post to social media, Jada alluded to just how difficult the beginning of their 22-year relationship was. Furthermore, she also emphasized that blended families are never easy and that take work, but for the sake of the well-being of the children involved, it's work that's always worth it. Always.
"Blended families are NEVER easy, but here's why I don't have a lot of sympathy for your situation because, we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package…Period! If I didn't want that, I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned if I am going to love Trey, I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him: his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other, but we have learned to LOVE each other."
"I can't support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. We can't say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT'S selfishness…NOT love. WOMAN UP… I've been there…I know. My blended family made me a giant. Taught me so much about love, commitment, and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It's time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are."
When women are able to put their differences aside, it makes a greater impact on children because it shows us what love is really about.
Love is not about ego. Love is not about insecurity.
It's about unconditional love and understanding. Jada and Sheree understand that. Sheree shared:
"It wasn't about me. It wasn't about her. She didn't need me to like her. That's ego and insecurity. I didn't need her to like me. I didn't need her to validate me. It wasn't about that, so we came in as women who kind of had a sense of self."
As we celebrated the launch in West Hollywood, I observed the undeniable way Jada and Sheree interacted with love. Jada walked in and acknowledged Sheree first, while gifting her with an early Mother's Day present – a Cartier necklace. Sheree showed her support, while expressing continuous gratitude for the relationship Jada has with her son.
And while many people would have their fear about releasing this episode, Jada and Sheree had no hesitation. Jada explained that she "wanted people to have an inside of our life, but with integrity," while Sheree felt comfortable because of their history:
"We have 22 years [of] history, so I trust this woman. I know her heart. I know what she's about. So, when she asks, I'm like, 'Let's do it.' We were two women, imperfect women who just were willing to try to make the situation work. And we love our kids and wanted to put them first. If we can do it, they can do it. Y'all can do it."
While we can't force women to put their feelings aside for their families and children, we can only hope that stories like ours of healthy blended families will inspire and spark new images of what families can be. 2018 is the year of women empowerment, and we hope that translates not only across friends and family, but also with ex-wives and baby mothers.
Red Table Talk, the weekly 10-episode series, is hosted by three generations of women at the Smith home. The show will feature several celebrity guests, including Tiffany Haddish and Gabrielle Union. Make sure to tune into the first episode featuring Sheree Fletcher on Facebook Watch now by clicking here or watching the episode down below.
Featured image via Red Table Talk still
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- Jada Pinkett Smith Talks New Red Table Talk Series | E! News ›
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- Jada Pinkett Smith Red Table Talk Show Trailer | POPSUGAR ... ›
- Why Jada Pinkett-Smith And Gabrielle Union Had Beef For 17 Years ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith's New Series with Willow and Her Mom ... ›
- Jada Pinkett Smith, Daughter Willow & Mom Adrienne Set Facebook ... ›
- Willow Smith - Red Table Talk Exclusive - YouTube ›
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Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
GiphyIf you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
GiphyThere is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
GiphySomething that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
GiphyEven if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
GiphyI saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
____
Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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