We've all heard the tips, suggestions, and unofficial rules for when it's time to give up the goodies.
"You have to wait after three dates!"
"Girl, don't you drop them drawers until at least 90 days!"
"Wait until your wedding night or else you're nothing but a Jezebel!"
However, when to have sex isn't a one rule type thing that applies for all because everything isn't for everybody. There are some couples who did the deed on their first date and ended up in long-lasting marriages while some 90-day couples ended in breakups. And it's the same thing the other way around. A 90-day wait can lead to marriage and a one-night stand can stay a one-night stand.
So when is the right time to bless your beau with your "love below"? According to Jada Pinkett Smith, when he's already emotionally invested.
During a Howard Stern interview last year, the 43-year-old mom said she didn't drop the drawers until she and Will Smith were together for a month. Despite the fact that Will was already an A-list actor, Jada advised that women need to make sure their man is "emotionally invested" before giving up the goodies. Once the two were on the same page, Jada said they made love so wonderful that they became inseparable and have remained that way for almost 20 years.
"Listen, I tell people all the time, you got to invest! Emotionally, he's got to invest. Will was a little different because he been after me for a little while. He came to Winston-Salem to ask me again to be on [Fresh Prince], and I said no again. Basically [I was torturing him]. There was chemistry. Sometimes chemistry is automatic. It's just who he is. If I remember correctly, it was maybe about a month. A month [before we had sex]. It was wonderful. We were inseparable after that. That was it! It's done! I was 23, so really that was it. I've been with him since I was 23 years old."
Again, that is just one woman's experience and opinion, but it does seem like a pretty darn good one. A quick booty call or one-night stand is normally only good for physical stimulation. However, when you're in a relationship, there has to be something more to it than just what's in his pants or else he's no different from any other man. It's the emotional attachment and connection that turns sex from cute little sparklers on a birthday cake to the Macy's Forth of July fireworks show. Who wants candles when you can have fireworks?
While Jada waited a month, some other celebrity women waited longer before they felt it was time. In fact, TLC member Chilli is 100% against first-night sex. Writing for a Vibe blog a couple of years ago, Chilli said women who sleep on the first night have a personal issue they need to work on (example: the need to feel loved) She also advises that waiting allows a woman to know more about a man and what she can and can't deal with since having sex too soon can cloud her judgment. #dicktamized.
After sleeping with her three husbands on the first night, actress Stacey Dash says she's "holding the kitty hostage" until there's something more than just physical attraction. Check Page Two for her newfound philosophy on why she, Yandy, and R&B singers Keri Hilson & Alicia Keys prefer to wait.
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Ciara Talks Motherhood & Future Kids With Russell Wilson — Meet Her Growing Family
Ciara has been popping out babies, it seems like every year, and we love that for her. According to her latest chat with PEOPLE, she ain’t done yet. In an exclusive interview at the 2024 Baby2Baby Gala held on Saturday, November 9, in Beverly Hills, the popular singer opened up about motherhood and the hectic schedule she maintains due to her four children.
She admits that the Wilson house is all the way turned up. “I have a kid on every corner. Oh my Lord, pray for me sometimes," Ciara shared. The "Goodies" singer and Russell Wilson, the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, are parents to three children: Sienna, 7; Win, 4; and Amora, 10 months. Additionally, Ciara has a 10-year-old son, Future, from her previous relationship with rapper Future.
In the midst of the prevailing chaos, the Grammy-winning singer surprisingly expressed her openness to having a fifth child, albeit not immediately. "Russ keeps walking around going like this, like, 'Cinco.' And I'm like, 'High five, I love you too.' I mean, listen, I think we'll make it to five, but this mom needs a little time. Just a little bit."
In July, the couple, who wed in 2016, commemorated their eighth wedding anniversary. To honor the occasion, Wilson compiled a sentimental video showcasing some of the couple's most romantic moments, which she subsequently shared on Instagram.
During an episode of the I Am Athlete podcast, Wilson talked about how he sees fatherhood as a direct reflection of what God has done for them. He said, “Unconditional love, to be able to love us in the midst of it all, to be able to be there for us, to be able to provide, to be able to care for us, to be able to show up for us every day. Not just physically but also mentally and spiritually.”
An insider described Ciara as a mother with remarkable energy during her pregnancies. They noted that Ciara refers to her life as "organized chaos," but she takes it to a higher level. The bright and shiny couple has always desired a large family, and being a mother is something she loves and has always wanted. You can feel the love this family has for one another. Let’s learn more about the beautiful bunch.
Meet Ciara and Russell Wilson's 4 Kids:
Future Zahir, 10
Ciara and her ex-fiancé Future welcomed their son Future Zahir in May 2014. On Mother's Day 2020, the rapper expressed gratitude to Ciara in a heartfelt message, writing, "Baby Future is Life, Preciate u." Young Future currently resides with his mother, stepfather Russell Wilson, and his three younger siblings.
In 2022, Ciara gushed over her “loving” son, telling PEOPLE, “Future is just like the kid with the wisdom who's probably the calmest but also is like, ‘Hey, I'm the biggest one, so keep that in perspective.’” In addition to showcasing his dance moves with his mother on the red carpet, Future Zahir has been receiving top-notch football guidance from his stepfather, who can be a demanding coach. Ciara remarked about Wilson in 2022, "He disciplines with love." Future Zahir has also inherited his parents' musical talent, having collaborated with his mother and sister on the song "Treat," a partnership with Kellogg's.
Future’s relationship with Russell is one of fairytales. The proud father reminisced about meeting his stepson for the first time as an infant on the I Am Athlete podcast. "He crawled into my lap, and I just knew, this is going to be my responsibility," he shared. "I remember leaving that night, and God spoke to me, saying, 'Raising this child is your calling.' I prayed, asking, 'Are you sure this is what you want me to do?' And He replied, 'Yes, this is meant for you.'"
For Wilson, becoming a stepdad was a special "opportunity," especially once he realized that Ciara was "the one" for him. He embraced the role wholeheartedly.
Sienna Princess, 7
On April 29, 2017, in Los Angeles, Ciara and Russell celebrated the birth of their first child together, a baby girl named Sienna Princess Wilson. The couple drew inspiration for their daughter's middle name from Ciara's own middle name, Princess. In a sweet post announcing her birth, the couple shared a photo of Ciara sitting on the beach, writing a note to their daughter that said, "No matter how big the wave, we will always be your calm in the storm."
As a toddler, Sienna, whom Ciara affectionately refers to as "SiSi," truly started to display her unique personality. Ciara shared on Instagram that beyond Sienna's adorable sassiness, they shared an unanticipated bond that has become undeniable, evident in their adorable matching photos.
Sienna quickly assumed the role of a devoted guardian to her younger brother, Win, once she was no longer the baby. "She thinks that he's her baby sometimes, especially when he was smaller, so that's really cute." The loving mother is eager to emphasize that her daughter, who resembles her in many ways, is not hesitant to express her fierce and independent nature as the only female among the children.
This year, when the mommy mogul asked SiSi who she wanted to be for Halloween, baby girl proudly said CiCi. "I can’t tell you how much this means. My baby girl went on tour with me and by the end she had every detail locked!" she continued in her caption. "Lil SiSi as Big CiCi. My sweet Sienna Princess Wilson 🥰🖤🎤"
Win Harrison, 4
Born on July 23, 2020, Ciara and Wilson welcomed their youngest son, Win Harrison Wilson, into the world. The name Win was Wilson's top choice, while the middle name served as a tribute to Wilson's father, Harrison. Shortly after Win's birth, a heartwarming video emerged of Ciara serenading her newborn with "Happy Birthday" in their hospital room.
Dr. Katz, Ciara's trusted doctor, who had delivered all her children, suggested that they sing "Happy Birthday" to the new baby. The act of singing brought great joy to Ciara, who mustered the energy to complete the song despite her postpartum state. Ciara recalled a similar experience with her daughter, Sienna, when she was born.
Win was warmly embraced by his older siblings, who eagerly showered him with love and attention. Thanks to their guidance, Win's development accelerated, and he soon reached a significant milestone by taking his first steps on the sidelines of Wilson's football practice.
According to Ciara, in an interview with PEOPLE, she attributes Win’s rapid development to his desire to keep up with his siblings, especially his older sister, from whom he has inherited a sense of fearlessness. Win also appears to have inherited his father's energetic nature, as previously shared by Ciara on Jimmy Fallon's show when he was only eight months old.
Win continues to impress with his sweet, energetic, and humorous personality. His presence brings joy to every room he enters, as described by Ciara in a heartfelt tribute on his second birthday.
Amora Princess, 10 months
The last Wilson baby is sweet Amora, who was born on December 11, 2023.
On Instagram, the couple expressed their immense love for their newborn in a post accompanied by an adorable photo of the little one. Ciara announced her fourth pregnancy in August 2023 through a heartwarming video shared on her Instagram. In the video, she is seen dancing by a pool, flaunting her baby bump. The caption read, "If you look at me like that again, we'll have another kid... You are my heart, and I am your rib."
According to a source who spoke to PEOPLE, Ciara remained active throughout her pregnancy with Amora, both working and traveling.
She even shot the music video for "How We Roll" while pregnant, showcasing her energy by dancing on set for an entire day. They also mentioned that she shot another music video when she was nine months pregnant with Win.
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Featured image by Eric Charbonneau/Getty Images for WME