

When was the last time you held a mirror and took a good look at your pussy? I mean a real hard look at it. What does she look like? Is your vagina normal? Several years ago, I received a DM from a young lady asking me this very question. She wanted to know if her vagina looked “normal.” She went on to explain that her pussy wasn’t as "pretty" as the ones she’d seen in porn and how insecure that made her feel. I can totally relate to her insecurities. I couldn’t begin to tell you how many jokes I’ve heard over the years from men about women and their vaginas. I would be lying if I said I’ve never pondered the same.
At one time or another, I think all vagina owners have been self-conscious about how things looked down there. Ultimately, no matter the gender of the person we’re engaging with sexually, we want them to look at our pussies and be in love. I want every lover of mine to see my pussy and be in awe of its beauty. My pussy is beautiful and you should love it because it’s mine! Vaginas are like snowflakes: They all may be anatomically similar but no two pussies are exactly the same. Also, I would soon learn that even though my pussy is unique to me, it had a few doppelgangers out there, too.
Two years ago during the pandemic lockdown, I participated in a "Virtual Pussy Show & Tell" workshop where I plastered my pussy on a Zoom camera for all to see. The intent of the workshop was for women to get an up-close-and-personal view of other people’s pussies. Up until that moment, I'd never intensely looked at someone else's before. There’s been the occasional changing of clothes in front of friends and shower room situations, but I'd never had pussy all up in my face until that workshop.
One by one, women of all races and backgrounds showed their pussies on a Zoom call to complete strangers. From this experience, I got to see all the beautifully different styles and shapes the vagina had to offer. I also noticed that even though everyone’s pussy was uniquely different, a lot of them looked very similar to one another.
Betty Dodson, sex education pioneer and the originator of the "Genital Show & Tell," started identifying the different styles of pussy back in the '70s. She categorized pussy into one of six styles: Classical, Gothic, Modern, Renaissance, Baroque, and Heart.
The Classical vulva has symmetrical inner and outer labia and a moderately sized clitoris.
The Gothic vulva has an elongated clitoral hood and the dramatic draping of the inner labia.
The Modern has a large clitoris, sleek lines of the labia, and vaginal opening.
The Renaissance vulva has ruffled inner labia that drape down from the clitoral hood like beautiful fabric.
The Baroque vulva has a labia with several scallops and turns and the unique hood folds over the clitoris.
The Heart vulva makes a heart shape when the labia is pulled to the sides.
Seeing all these similar yet uniquely different pussies taught me there is no such thing as a so-called "normal" vagina. All pussies look like pussies and no matter the shape or "style," there is someone else with a similar-looking one. So, the next time someone asks me whether their vagina is normal, I am going to say, 'Yep, it's normal for you!'
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Having a morning routine is a crucial aspect of adulting, often setting the foundation for the rest of the day. Slow mornings, especially have gained popularity for its mindful approach to starting the day versus waking up frantic and in a rush. It appears our beloved creative, Issa Rae, is team slow mornings and shared her morning routine with It Takes a Village podcast.
The Insecure creator revealed that she was a part of the 4 AM club. After waking up, she dedicates an hour or hour and a half to exercise. Next, she prepares coffee and engages in what she calls her version of meditation.
"Coffee listening to news, sitting in the dark on the couch, sometimes I'll light a candle and sometimes journaling," she said. Waking up early and adopting a slow morning routine offer numerous benefits. Below, we delve into some of these advantages and provide guidance on how to incorporate them into your daily routine.
Waking Up Early
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Waking up at 4 AM might be too early for some, but waking up early overall has many benefits. As per Healthline, some of these advantages include improved sleep quality, increased energy levels, better skin, and the most evident benefit, accomplishing more tasks. If you begin work at 8 AM, consider waking up at 5 or 6 AM to dedicate time to your mental well-being before diving into the day's demands.
Exercising
There’s no better way to boost endorphins than through exercise. Starting your day with exercise can have a positive impact on your mood, which can, in turn, influence the rest of your day.
One advantage of going to the gym early is fewer people, so you don't have to wait to use your favorite machine. If you prefer at-home workouts, you can turn on a 30 minute workout video from a fitness trainer on YouTube or finally use the walking pad that's been stashed away in the corner.
Meditation
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Meditating involves sitting in silence (unless you're listening to a guided meditation) and being one with yourself. While Issa mentioned enjoying her meditation with coffee and a candle, you can create your own peaceful atmosphere. This could involve lighting sage, sitting with crystals, or using essential oils.
Regardless of the time you have, whether it’s 30 minutes or just five, incorporating meditation into your morning routine can help you begin your day with a tranquil mindset.
Journaling
Journaling can be done anytime of the day, but starting your day with it in the morning can provide clarity. There are several types of journaling that can be beneficial morning practices.
Dream journaling involves writing about your dreams the night before to gain transparency about them. Gratitude journaling involves writing about things you’re grateful for, while mindful journaling allows you to express your thoughts and feelings.
All of these practices can contribute to a successful day. By consistently practicing them, you may notice positive changes in your attitude and overall well-being.
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