

It really is kind of wild for me to sit back and realize that I have a whopping 14 piercings. Although most of them are in my ear (the others are my nose and belly button) because I didn’t start getting pierced at all until I was well into my 20s…I guess that I just up and decided to make up for lost time.
For many of my later-in-life piercings, I’ve always gone to the same tattoo shop (it’s so much better than using a piercing gun at a place like Claire’s). Listen, when folks are putting holes into your body, it tends to be a pretty intimate experience, which is why, when the guy who hooked me up once asked me, “Have you ever thought about getting a nipple or below-the-belt piercing?”, it didn’t bother me in the least (he’s happily committed and very cool people). When I asked him why he wanted to know, he said that, for one thing, he knew that I wrote about sex a lot (he’s right); also, many of his clients have professed that getting one was well worth the few moments of pain that they had to go through; especially when it comes to feeling intense sexual pleasure.
Listen, the quality of orgasms that I have experienced over the years — I’m good on those. And so, for me personally, I am totally fine with leaving this life with no nipple or clit piercings to speak of. That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t curious about what he had to say, though; especially after checking out the Janet Jackson clip that you’re about to watch. So, I did a bit of digging around, along with some impromptu interviewing with a couple of people. If you keep reading, you’ll find out if clit piercings (specifically) are truly able to take your sex-related experiences up a few notches — or not.
The Clit. Briefly Revisited.
I’ve written on the clitoris for this platform on more than one occasion (check out “10 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Clitoris” and “7 Reasons You Should TOTALLY Be In Love With Your Clitoral Hood”). One of the main reasons why I find it to be so fascinating is it’s a little thing that can pack a truly powerful punch when it comes to women and sexual satisfaction. In fact, study after study has come to the conclusion thatthe sole purpose for us having a clitoris at all is so we will be able to experience sexual pleasure and orgasms — and shoot, that reason alone should make us want to know as much about our clitoris as possible, including how to properly care for it.
For instance,were you aware of the fact that the clitoris has around 8,000 nerve endings inside of it while the penis merely has 4,000? So yeah, if there is one part of your body that is hella sensitive to any type of stimuli, your clitoris would definitely be the one.
So, with that being the case, what role does piercing it actually play if you’re someone who wants to get as much out of your clit as absolutely possible? Good question.
Clit Piercing. Explored.
Okay, it’s not like I think that you don’t get the overall concept of what a clit piercing is — clearly, it’s when you pierce your clitoris with a piece of jewelry. However, believe it or not, it’s actually a bit more layered and involved than that.
For instance, did you know that there are multiple types of clit piercings that you can get? You can clickhere to read up on the specifics; for now, I’ll just say that some go directly through your clitoris (the glans piercing) while others go through the base (HCH) or underneath its shaft (triangle). Coming to the conclusion of which one you want has a lot to do with how you want your clit piercing to look and the type of stimulation that you are after.
Like if you want to get as much sexual stimulation as possible, the VCH, Princess Diana, or triangle piercings, reportedly, are gonna be your best bet. Mostly because the first two move up and down on the clitoris during sexual activity while the triangle piercing has the ability to stimulate your clitoris, vaginal opening, and even a part of your anus as well (hence the word “triangle”). At the same time, while you are “getting yours,” your partner is also able to benefit because clit piercings are able to pleasure him during penetration too.
As far asthe type of jewelry that is typically used for a clit piercing, a circular barbell (like the one in the feature pic for this article), a bead ring, or a curved barbell are the standards. Material-wise, you should always opt for surgical steel because it’s durable, super hygienic, really easy to clean, hypoallergenic, and doesn’t corrode over time. Now, for the record, titanium and 14K gold are options too; surgical steel is still gonna (probably) be what your piercer starts out with and, as an additional bonus, surgical steel is the most affordable of the three.
Aside from if a clit piercing is truly all that it is cracked up to be (we’ll get into that in just a moment), I’m pretty sure the next thing that you want to know is how painful is it to get one of those bad boys. I mean, let’s not go into denial mode, right? Piercing any part of your body is going to havesome level of discomfort. The main thing to keep in mind with this particular part of your body is, that if you pierce the part of your genitalia that has more fat and fewer nerves, it’s going to hurt much less than the reverse. You also need to keep in mind that if that part of your body has a whopping 8,000 nerve endings in it and you decide to pierce through some of them with a super sharp instrument — yeah…that part. However, it the piercing process is rather quick and the healing process is somewhere between 4-8 weeks.
Oh, and so long as there isn’t an allergic reaction or infection (and if you go to a reputable tattoo parlor and they open a fresh pack of piercing tools), you should be fine. Just make sure that while your clit piercing is healing — you keep it clean; apply saline solution; incorporate some water-based lube during sex, and that you use some form of barrier protection — meaning a condom — so that semen/sperm doesn’t irritate it and/or so that you can be fully protected in case your partner happens to have an STI/STD.
Okay, so now that I’ve given you a quickie review of what a clit piercing is all about, let’s circle back around to what you really want to know: are the brief moments of pure piercing pain worth it when it comes to the potential moments of pleasure that you can experience, for years to come, on the back end.
Three Women Tell Me How They Feel About Their Own Clit Piercings
You know, there used to be a time when folks (especially in our community) would’ve chalked clit piercings up to something that very few people would ever consider doing. These days? I thoughtit was very interesting that back before the shutdown, clit piercings were not in the top 10 of most popular and requested ones; after the shutdown, though? It has cracked into the top 10 (I guess all of that time at home gave people the opportunity to do some more-than-usual exploring, huh?).
Three of the Black women I spoke to about her own clit piercing — one has had it for years while the other two got one after we went “back outside.” I asked them, specifically, what they thought about them, sexually; here is what they had to say (middle names were used, so that folks won’t be all up in their business).
1. Stacee. 32. Clit has been pierced for seven years.
“I actually got my clit pierced on a bet. My bestie and I at the time were both going through a breakup and when I told her that nothing could be more painful, she said, ‘I bet a clit piercing would be’. We got hella drunk and I got what’s called a Venus piercing [which is actually right above the clitoris]. It wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t super painful either. As far as the sex goes, yeah — it helps out because the type of earring that’s in it, it hits on my clitoris during sex. I had solid orgasms before my piercing but getting that extra sensation, especially when I’m on top or he’s hitting from the back? It’s better than just about any sex toy that I own!”
2. Iris. 29. Clit has been pierced for two years.
“Let me put it to you this way: you couldn’t pay me to get my clit pierced again and you also couldn’t pay me to ever take mine out. The pain that I had? I ain’t gonna lie; it was a lot like when you get that shot to numb your mouth before a root canal. It’s quick but lawd is it mind-numbing. I have the triangle, though, and whether ‘he’s’ going down on me or it’s intercourse, my orgasms have never been the same; especially when I put my ring in the freezer right before sex. Whew-wheeee. Clit piercings aren’t for everyone but if you’re someone who wants to get the most out of orgasms, it’s a great investment.”
3. Lina. 40. Clit has been pierced for three years.
“I had never had an orgasm before getting my clitoris pierced. Since getting it, most of the time, I don’t have sex without having at least a couple of them! I think it’s a plus to have something extra that is always stimulating that part of your body while you’re having sex. It keeps me from focusing so much on having an orgasm and keeps my partner from having to worry so much about if it’s touching the exact spot. The pain of the piercing was worth it. It was short. Just smoke some weed first. That’s what I did.”
___
Between these three women raving about their clit piercings and Janet’s throwback of liking her nipple one — there must be something to piercing erogenous zones, no doubt. So, if a part of you has always been curious and you didn’t know who to ask, I hope this “scratched that itch.”
Is it painful to get? Yes.
Is the pleasure worth risking it all? Apparently so — and then some.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Swipe Right For Sisterhood: Reginae Carter Talks Teaming Up With BLK To Make Friendships Front & Center
You know the vibes: dating apps aren’t just for finding romance anymore—at least not for Gen Z! As young people continue to redefine connection, BLK, the leading dating app for Black singles, is shaking things up with the launch of Social Mode. The new feature allows users to toggle between dating and platonic connections. Yep, you read that right—friendship is now just as easy to find as love.
To kick off this game-changing launch, BLK teamed up with TV personality and socialite Reginae Carter for the ultimate Girls’ Night In, proving that sisterhood is just as important as romance. The exclusive event was a celebration of the new feature and the power of Black women coming together to uplift one another.
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage