Imagine: It's Friday and you're just hours away from clocking out of work and crossing the finish line into your weekend. There's an after-work social that you've been looking forward to attending all week with your bestie, but as soon as you press "Send" to your last email of the day, your girlfriend texts you letting you know that she's no longer feeling up to going. Bummed out by the last-minute change of plans, you're now faced with a decision: stay in for the night and pass on the event or ride solo?
Has this ever happened to you? As much as we love our friends, sometimes they're just not down for the count to partake in spontaneous – or planned - escapades. There's joy and power in assembling your squad to take on the night together, but don't think you have to miss out on an evening of fun just because you don't have anyone to accompany you. Attending the function by yourself may come off as an intimidating task, but allow me to assure you that it's nothing to shy away from.
Take it from me, I've learned a thing or two from not being confined to the leesh of friend's failed commitments. I've gone to music festivals like Afropunk and Broccoli City Fest, as well as mixers in New York City all by my lonesome, and I'm proud to report that, I indeed, survived.
Maybe your palms get all clammy at the mere thought of attending a densely populated social gathering alone, or you just have attachment issues and find security in the presence of people you know. Whatever the case may be, if the desire to gain experiences exceeds the fear to flee to your bed, then here are a few pointers to get you through the night:
Set your intentions.
Now that you've mustered up the courage to go through with your plans to attend that party/mixer/social solo, ask yourself: What do I want out of this? Leaving the house with a goal in mind can lessen the anxieties that may creep up when you're trying to find your place in a room full of strangers. It's like your own little secret that acts as a compass to guide you through the night. Do you want to meet some new people in your industry? Is there someone you've been hoping to "run into" that's going to be in attendance? Make a mental note of what your goals for the evening are and once you feel like you've crossed off list, you'll feel more confident about your presence.
Feeling handsy?
A lot of the awkwardness that comes from attending an event by yourself is not knowing what to do with yourself, literally. It brings up the age-old quandary: What do I do with my hand? Start by grabbing a drink: a cocktail, water, cranberry juice, it's up to you. Not only will it help calm your nerves, but it will make you look apart of the room and ready to engage and have a good time. I know you may feel the urge to grab your phone but looking down at your feed can make you come off as unengaged and preoccupied, like you'd rather be somewhere else but here. That's not the signal you want to send if you're hoping to meet new people. Take a few sips while you work the room until you find someone to engage with.
Talk that talk.
Now that you've spotted who you'd like to spend the next 20-30 minutes chatting with, what are you going to talk about? It may be easy to fall into conversational traps about the weather, but your time is precious and you don't want to waste it on dead-end small talk. Try leading with a compliment to break the ice and be genuine about it. Once they've opened up a bit, follow up by asking what they do or what brings them here. People love talking about themselves and love it even more when they feel like there someone who actually wants to listen. Just be sure to avoid touchy about politics, religion, and relationship status, this is charted territory for the uncomfortable and intrusive feelings to emerge. Remember that a conversation takes two willing participants, so be an active listener, give eye contact, and share the conversation.
Time to leave or take a breather?
If it's your first time attending an event by yourself, it's natural to feel overwhelmed throughout the night. After you've gotten a drink, worked the room, and survived a breezy conversation or two, you are more than welcome to take a moment to recharge and regroup with yourself. In these moments, find a place like the bathroom or balcony to determine how much "party" you have left in you. Have you met your goals for the night? Have you gotten at least a few new connections? If you feel like you have a few more minutes of mixing and mingling left in you, freshen yourself up and get back on the floor. But if you've given it all you have and checked off the tasks on your personal list, then it's just fine to end the evening a high note and retire in your victory.
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Now, with more than 20 years of experience in professional aviation, starting with American Eagle Airlines and then on to becoming a captain at American Airlines, she has continued to pay it forward. In 2022, she made history as the first commercial airline captain to lead an all-Black, women-led flight crew. She has also written a biography on Bessie Coleman, the first African-American and Native-American woman to earn a pilot’s license, and produced and directed, Discovering Bessie Coleman, working alongside the family to get the project completed. Add to that her role as a founder of consulting firm LadyAv8rBeth, which offers a guide of pathways into aviation, and as a podcast host covering all things aviation.
For Women’s History Month, xoNecole caught up with the busy pilot, in between flights, to talk about her career journey, her role in a Bessie Coleman documentary and book, how she balances self-care and safety, and how other Black women can add to the aviation legacy:
xoNecole: You’ve built an successful career in aviation. And you were only 15 and already had your first flight. Were you afraid at all, or did it feel like second nature to you?
Beth Powell: It felt completely natural. There was no fear, just excitement and curiosity.
Now, it’s what they call STEM, and my teacher at the time thought that I was really good at numbers. He recommended three career paths, and I tried the first one.
I didn't understand why it made sense back then at 15, but as I grew up and met other pilots, I recognized that the reason I liked math and physics was that we were technical learners. So we like to break things apart and put them back together. We like to check procedures. We like to write manuals. We were technical artists.
xoN: That’s such an important message. Many young women and girls are often discouraged from pursuing careers in STEM or aviation, so it’s incredible to hear your story. Now, fast forward a bit—how did you transition into your corporate career with larger airlines?
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BP: After that first discovery flight, I quickly finished my high school classes and graduated at 16. By 17, I had earned my private pilot’s license, and by 18, my commercial license. Then, I moved to the U.S. to attend flight school in Florida. While working on my degree in professional aeronautics, I began working for American Eagle Airlines at just 21. Over the years, I’ve built my career and have now spent 25 years in the airline industry, including 14 years at American Eagle and 11 years at American Airlines. In terms of leadership, being a captain is key.
As a captain, I’m responsible for the aircraft, the crew, and the passengers. It’s a huge responsibility, and you learn a lot about leadership when you’re in charge of so much.
Being a captain definitely teaches you leadership. You’re in charge of every aspect of the flight from the moment you sign in to the moment you sign out. From overseeing the crew to managing the safety and well-being of passengers, you have to make quick decisions and take responsibility. Even when you’re starting out as a first officer, you’re learning vital leadership skills that prepare you for the captain role.
xoN: There's a lot going on with airlines right now that might make someone feel afraid in terms of some of the tragedies that have recently happened. How do you sustain your self-care balance and your resilience in the aviation industry when those sorts of things happen?
BP: I truly believe that aviation is still the safest and the No. 1 safest means of transportation. I say that proudly. For any airline, any pilot, any air traffic controller—anyone who works in the industry—safety is our number one priority. However, of course, we see things happening in the news, and it is concerning to passengers.
What I'm telling everybody to do right now, including myself, is that it's very important to have your source of strength. I'm a Christian, and one of my sources of strength is prayers. I go deep within my prayers every morning, and I pray to God, giving things that I can't control to him, and the rest— I can do my best to deal with.
No. 2 is meditation on the Deepak Chopra app. Ever since COVID happened, that was the first time I thought that I needed something more than just my prayers to help me go through to calm down the noise around me.
And last but not least, I'm really big on self-development. I read, I read, and I read. If your foundation is strong, you have something to build from. And so, when I read, I learn a lot about myself. I learn about what triggers me and when something triggers me. I literally hear the Kendrick Lamar song, "TV Off" in my head, because sometimes you need to shut the noise off.
xoN: That's amazing—the combination of faith and just being excellent at what you do. Now, how did you get involved with the Bessie Coleman project?
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BP: I sit on the board of advisers for an organization called Sisters of the Skies, and was at a gala celebrating with all our Black women of our achievements. At the end of the night, Dr. Sheila Chamberlain walked up to me. She was the first Black woman U.S. combat intelligence aviator in the Army. So, if she's walking up to me, it's very serious. She said, ‘I have a favor to ask.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ I did not hear what the favor was. I didn't know what she was going to ask me, but somebody like that walking up to you saying, ‘a favor’? The answer is yes.
She told me [the project involved] helping the Bessie Coleman family elevate the story. ‘I'd like you to ask your company if they will do a flight in honor of Bessie Coleman.’ I went to the different departments at American Airlines, and the rest was literally history. We did that flight on August 8, 2022, and it became a historical flight because everyone on that flight, from the ground up, was a Black woman.
Gigi Coleman, Bessie’s grand-niece, was also on that flight. We started chatting at the end of the flight. Another night, we were hanging out—Sheila, Gigi, and I—and she kept telling me she wanted to write a book, that she wished there was a movie, and that people approached her about it. Nothing had been done as yet. And I thought, sounds like another mission.
I literally took it on. We do have a documentary with the family sharing their perspective of who Bessie Coleman is. And we do have a book called Queen of the Skies.
xoN: For the young women who are looking for career paths in aviation, what are some skills they need to thrive?
BP: While you don't necessarily have to love math to be a pilot, technical knowledge is important. You’ll need to understand aircraft systems and aerodynamics. This includes weather patterns and instrument training. It might seem daunting at first, but the great thing about flight training is that it builds on itself. The more you learn, the more it all clicks. Also, aviation is constantly changing, and you need to be adaptable.
It’s a field where you need to be ready for anything, from unexpected weather to technical issues. Being open to learning new things and adjusting to change is crucial.
My daughter, who has her private pilot’s license, once said, “This journey is both challenging and rewarding. I feel like I’ve grown so much since starting.” It’s important to keep going, even when it gets tough.
To help others, I’m outlining how they can go from “zero to hero” as a pilot. I offer this information freely on my Instagram account, and it’s something I’m passionate about sharing. I want everyone to have access to the resources they need to follow their dreams.
For more information on Beth Powell, the Bessie Coleman documentary, and aviation career resources, visit LadyAv8rBeth.com.
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