So, I'm About To Trip You Out With 8 Things That Happen When You Ovulate
Back when I was touring heavily and the topic of my abstinence journey would come up, it never failed that, during the Q&A portion, someone would ask me how they could effectively attempt, at least a few months of being "eggplant free". Something that I would share, consistently so, is "watch who you're around when you're ovulating" — you know, when it's that time of the month when an egg is released from one of your ovaries and it has about 48 hours to be fertilized by somebody's son's sperm (this typically happens around the 14th day if you're on a 28-day menstrual cycle or 4-5 days before or after the midpoint of your period). Why was that my advice?
Simple. I'm thinking that it's pretty common knowledge that, overall, we're the horniest when we're ovulating. So, if you're trying to avoid "giving it up", that would be the time to binge-watch some television, hang out with your platonic homies or take up a new hobby. Here's what's interesting, though. Aside from the fact that your ovulation time can make you more, umm, amorous than usual, there are some other things that can transpire during that semi-intense time of the month too; things that you may not have heard of or considered before.
Are you ready to learn what eight of them are? The answers just might surprise you — and help you to connect a few dots.
1. You’re More Productive
Actually, what inspired me to pen this piece is an article that I checked out on the Independent's website, not too long ago. The title was "Women do their best work when they're ovulating, according to a new study." The rationale is, one thing that happens when we ovulate, is our estrogen levels spike. This, in turn, can cause us to actually get into a better mood and, you already know — the better you feel, the more inclined you are to get more stuff done.
So, if you've got a big project coming up or there's something that you've been putting off for a while that you know needs to get done as soon as possible, waiting until you're ovulating (a period app can help you to figure that out, by the way) is definitely a scientifically-proven way to go.
2. Your Voice “Goes Up”
While I haven't exactly tested this one out (meaning, I haven't really noticed), I think I will next month (meaning, I will ask some of my male friends) because if ovulating really makes my voice higher, I'm super intrigued. The logic is this — since ovulation is when we can best conceive and we need a man to make that happen (the old-fashioned way, anyway), it seems that we will go up in our speaking voice as a way to appear more feminine which, in turn, makes us more appealing to men. Very interesting.
3. Your Sense of Smell Intensifies
Here's something that's kind of a trip. Did you know that when you're ovulating, your sense of smell intensifies too? A study that consisted of women who are both on and off of the pill and smelling things like lemon, peppermint, rose, musk and the male pheromones revealed that "naturally cycling women" were extremely sensitive to the smell of lemons and male pheromones. The belief is that our olfactory sensitivity is connected to our reproductive system. This makes sense when you think about the fact that a lot of pregnant women experience a heightened sense of smell too. By the way, word on the street is men can smell when we're ovulating as well; especially if they have a higher level of testosterone. Which, to me, also makes sense.
4. You Like the Colors Red and Pink More
Do you tend to not think about wearing red lipstick or that cute ass pink sweater until the middle of your period's cycle? While it might seem random, it actually isn't. There is also data to support the fact that a lot of women are prone to want to rock red and pink shades during their ovulation time. One, because both are hues that are sexy and feminine. Two, because we tend to want to draw more attention to ourselves, these are two colors that typically do it. I mean, with red symbolizing things like love, passion, and desire and pink being about love, femininity, and romance, this doesn't seem too off base either.
5. You Up Your Chances of Having Less Health-Related Issues
Something else that happens when we ovulate is we get an extra dose of the hormone estradiol and progesterone. Why is this such a good thing? Well, estradiol assists with the long-term health of our bones, brain, and heart while also promoting muscle gain as progesterone helps to reduce bodily inflammation, balance our immune system, and support our thyroid. In short, this means that something else that's cool during our ovulation time is our health tends to be in peak form as well.
6. You’re Meaner. Kind Of.
One study I read that tickled me comes out of the University of Texas. Apparently, something else that may transpire when we ovulate is we become meaner. "Meaner" in the sense that we're more competitive with women (including professionally) while also being nicer to men. I'm pretty sure you get why this would be the case. If you want to copulate, you want all prospective obstacles moved out of your way. Chile. CHILE.
7. You’re Willing to Take More Sexual Risks
Do you have more sex-related dreams around the middle of your cycle? Does your taste in clothing seem extra provocative/seductive around then too? Does almost every image that you see resemble something sexual in your mind? Do beards and deep voices make you wanna climb the walls more than ever? All of these things are also directly tied to ovulation.
And because we are more…sexually intense during this time of the month, it can be a lot easier to convince ourselves to take sexual risks or perhaps even do things that we never would consider doing otherwise. Y'all be careful out here. #wink
8. Your Processing of Men Is…Varied
And finally, another sign of ovulation is how we see men. For one thing, we're better at determining a man's sexual orientation. The pure physical attractiveness of a guy matters so much more. And something that's a real trip? It would appear that the mere thought of catching up with our dads — whether in person or even just hearing their voice — is one of the last things on our to-do list. Because, well, who wants to think about their father when they're also thinking about getting some?
The body is an amazing and very detailed machine. Nothing about it is happenstance — clearly. So, the next time your ovulation cycle rolls around, take note of if these eight things transpired and then think about how cool it is to be a woman. Even our period's seasons are pretty dope and entertaining. Hey, this article just proved it.
To learn more about all things vaginal health and wellness, check out the xoNecole Women's Health section here.
Featured image by Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert