Beyoncé must get being private from her mama because people hardly know anything about Tina Knowles' personal life other than the fact that she birthed two singers, owned a hair salon, and was Destiny's Child's personal designer.
That was until she recently delivered a speech where she opened up about her journey from being a 5-year-old warrior who was mistreated in school, to finding her passion as a hairstylist and later, clothing designer. She also dished on how her marriage became really bad after she got pregnant with Beyoncé, how she almost lost herself, and after pressing reset on her life in her 50s, she is finally the happiest she's been in a long time.
Tina has been through some mess in her 60+ years of living y'all!
Catch these 10 things you probably didn't know about her below.
1) She was treated horribly in Catholic school:
The nuns picked on us a lot, my family. I didn't understand at the time but my mom did the altar cloths. She did the altar boys' uniforms. She worked for the nuns. My dad chauffeured the nuns around. My brothers cleaned the school yard. And I often wondered why we were indentured servants to the church. And the nuns were very hard on me. They would always say, 'You really don't belong here. If you only knew, you'd be very grateful to be here. You've got a rebellious spirit. We need to take down that spirit and control it.'
It was always these things to kinda put me in my place. What I found out late was that my parents were bartering so I can go.
I became a warrior at five. I refused to let them take my spirit.
2) She used be a makeup artist and even modeled at one point.
I didn't know what I wanted to be [after school]. I just knew I wanted to get out of Galveston [Texas] and I wanted to do something related to beauty. Something about making women feel good about themselves. So I went to California and I actually got a job as a makeup artist for a Japanese company, which was really funny because everyone was Japanese but me. I went on to work at Worldwide Health Studio and I worked there for three years. I lived in Denver. I did a little modeling. I learned how to walk in heels.
3) She got married, lost her mother, nearly lost her father and became pregnant within the span of a year.
I met my husband [Mathew Knowles] and got married. I was so excited about my dad walking me down the aisle and he had a heart attack the day before we got married. He had a minor heart attack. So we all went to the hospital after the wedding and brought the wedding party and he was rushing us out and we left.
And the next day we're supposed to go to the honeymoon but we missed the flight. So I called back and they said, 'Oh your dad's in intensive care, he's had a massive heart attack.' My dad was really bad and I decided to stay so my ex-husband could go back to the house because his parents were in town. And he calls me crying and he says his grandfather has died.
By Wednesday, my daddy is stable enough so I can go to [my husband's grandfather's] funeral. So I go to the funeral on Thursday and when I got back on Friday, my mom was in intensive care. It was really a tough time. I have to say my ex-husband said, 'You know, you don't have to work. You can go and take care of your parents,' which I treasure to this day because within six months my mom had passed away. Then I was pregnant!
4) She opened her hair salon as a way to be independent, especially since her marriage had gotten bad and she promised to never give up on herself.
For four years I didn't work, I just kept my daughter. And then things just got really rocky and my marriage got very tumultuous and I was having all these problems and I was like, "'What have I done? I've been out of the job market for four years.' Self-esteem low, so what do I do now? During that time, I had started beauty school and I had maybe three months to last with that.
But after I got pregnant, my marriage just got really bad and I knew I had to do something. So I got very focused on going to school. And by the time I had the baby, I already had a clientele. I built a salon at my house and I'd do hair there.
Eight weeks after I had my baby, I took her to her paternal grandmother and I said, 'Listen, you gotta keep her 'cause I gotta open up a business,' because I would never be in this position again. I would never be totally dependent on someone. I would never give up on myself.
[Tweet "I would never be totally dependent on someone. I would never give up on myself."]
5) She caused Destiny's Child [then known as Destiny] to lose their first record deal.
The first deal that they [Destiny's Child] had, I was the first person to open my big mouth to the people that signed them. The guy told me, "'Well, this is going to change their lives and you should stop being so square. You should stop being so protective, and get with it.' Because they were actually exposing the girls to things that I just didn't feel were appropriate for them to be so young.
Well he ended up telling me to get out of his office, take the kids home and don't bring them back. So I'm devastated because I have to go and tell these kids I messed up their deal. So I end up doing that and God just showed up because in three months, they got a way bigger, better deal.
6) She suffered from low self-esteem after filing for divorce at age 58, after being married for 33 years.
I was very sad. When you look at someone else, you look at them and say, 'They're attractive. They have a lot of good stuff going on for them. They have no right to have low self-esteem. They have no right to feel sorry for themselves.' Well, it doesn't matter who you are, what you are, what you've done, what you have. You're a person; you're a human being. And when something strikes you like that, it takes the breath out of you. And my fight came back! After a while, I let myself feel sorry for myself for a minute and then I said, 'You know, I'm so blessed to have all the opportunities that I have. And I don't have the right to feel sorry.' I started telling myself this.
7) She took some much-needed time off for herself after the divorce to live and enjoy life.
I started reading my art books. I love art but I had never had the time. I started traveling. I would travel with my daughter [Beyoncé] but not to work! I would say, 'No I'm not working.' I had my girlfriend who would make me laugh. I sent for her and she would come on the road and we would go to museums, we would go to lunch and we would just laugh. And I just really had forgotten how to live.
I had just lost all of myself so I realize now that part of the low self-esteem was, yes, being 58 and having to start over again, and the other part is that I just lost myself. That I was so busy working and going and taking care of everybody else that I just forgot about Tina.
So I would tell my kids, 'You know what, you can call me and I'll be there if it's something important, but otherwise, I'm taking care of Tina. This is my selfish moment.' And before I knew it, I started liking me again! I started being important, not everybody else.
[Tweet "I started being important, not everybody else."]
8) She didn't think she could find love again at 59 years old.
The whole thing about dating was the scariest thing in the world! I would tell my friends, 'Where am I gonna find somebody at 59 years old? Where do you meet men? Where do you get them? And they're all gone.' It was really funny so I just focused on myself.
Finally, a girl that worked with me said, 'This guy I know wants to take you out. He just thinks you're hot!' And I'm like, 'Really?!' So she said, 'Yes!'
My kids got me ready, and I changed clothes five times. I didn't want to be too this and too that.
Well, I went out with the guy and he was a very, very nice man and thank God he wasn't my type because I wasn't as nervous once I met him. So I was like, 'You know what, this is just like friend time.' But it was so good for my self-esteem to have somebody to say, 'You look nice!' To give me a flower, to take me out. So I went out on a couple of dates with him but I knew he wasn't the one. But it got me past that [point in my life.]
9) Even though she didn't want Mathew Knowles back it still hurt her when he got remarried.
I hear that my ex-husband is getting married. Now this is my family. My ex-husband is my family. I don't want to get back into that at all, that's not what I want. But it still hurts a little bit, right? It's still a blow to your ego. So I call my crazy friend Monica to take care of me the week of the wedding.
[...] She comes to LA and she says, 'Tina, you gotta get out ..let's go out! Let's go see some men!' and I was like, 'I don't know where to find 'em!'
10) She was friends with her husband, actor Richard Lawson, for 33 years before they began dating.
I been knowing him for 33 years. His sister was one of my best friends, and she died of breast cancer 20 years ago. Some of you might remember him as the handsome guy who was on Dynasty, and he was an actor and he was on All My Children. I brought him down [to Texas] one time, and the women went crazy over him. He's an old friend, like family.
So Monica called him up and we went by his acting school and he took us out to eat afterwards and my friend says, 'Okay Richard! Do you know any men?!' And he's like, 'Well, what she looking for?' So I say, 'You know, I want somebody with integrity, that
believes in God, that likes to dance, likes to have fun and appreciates art.' And he's like, 'Oh! What about me?' And we both say, 'Hell no!' So he says, 'Okay, well, I'll see who I can think of.'
So the next night he took us out dancing and we just had a good time. The next night he came to the concert and he said, 'Can we just get away from Monica? 'Cause Monica just takes over the conversation.' So we went to lunch and he said, 'I want to support you during this time,' because Mathew -- he's friends with Mathew, too -- just got married yesterday. So he came to Houston, I went to LA afterwards. And I'm in my happiest I been in a long, long time.
She also added a very important lesson:
I just have to say that, most of the times in my life that things have been the toughest and the worst and I thought I would die and not get through them, they turned out to be the best times. If you are going through it, just know it's called 'going through it,' you're not going to get stuck there, you are not going to die, you are going to survive. My daughter wrote a song called 'Survivor' some years ago and it's my favorite song by them because it says, 'When the times get bad, I'm going to work harder. I'm going to keep pushing and I'm going to keep positive and make it happen because I'm a survivor.' That's been the story of my life.[Tweet "If you're going through it, it's called 'going through it,' you're not going to get stuck there"]
Watch the speech below:
RELATED
And why is it so rough during the spring season? The main reason is because the spring and fall seasons are when pollen likes to run amuck. And although there are medications that you can take to help to ease your allergy symptoms, there are also natural remedies that are proven to provide you with some much-needed relief as well.
Below, I have 12. Ones that are easy on your system, don’t have side effects, and can help you to enjoy spending time outdoors without all of the…allergy-related drama.
1. Consume Local Honey
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I can’t say enough how I think it’s amazing that we live in a country that will push all kinds of medications down our throats (billions of side effects and all) and yet when it comes to natural remedies, “experts” will go out of their way to disprove those. Take consuming local honey, for instance. Although I am fortunate to not have to deal with allergies (food, seasonal, etc.) at all, many people in my world do and, in spite of folks who say that using local honey in order to treat them minimizes their symptoms (because there is local pollen in local honey), some health folks think that is just a myth.
However, there are some studies that say there is some truth to this approach, especially since honey contains enzymes that help to boost your immunity and as well as reduce inflammation. My two cents: take a teaspoon of local honey every morning and see how you feel. If it works, awesome. If it doesn’t — well, with all of the other benefits that come from honey (its antioxidants, how it improves gut health, how it aids in sleep, etc.), you’re still doing your body a world of good by consuming it.
2. Use an Essential Oil Blend
I’m telling you — no matter what is going on in your life (that is health or beauty-related), there is going to be an essential oil, somewhere, that can improve it. When it comes to allergies, specifically, you should look into using a blend of sandalwood, frankincense, and Ravensara oils. Sandalwood is good for you because it helps to reduce inflammation, it has antimicrobial benefits and antioxidants and it helps to relax your system.
Frankincense has anti-inflammatory, expectorant, and antiseptic properties; it contains compounds that can bring relief to asthma-related symptoms, boost immunity, and reduce stress; frankincense makes it easier to sleep at night. And although you may not be familiar with Ravensara, it’s one that you want to get familiar with because it also strengthens your immune system and it helps to keep your lungs clear. You can put this blend into a diffuser or you can mix it with a carrier oil and rub it onto your chest before turning in for the evening.
3. Make Some Stinging Nettle Tea
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If you’ve never heard of stinging nettle before, it’s a plant that is used for a variety of health-related issues. Aside from the fact that it’s packed with vitamins A, C, magnesium, iron, calcium, amino acids, potassium, beta-carotene, and flavonoids (plant pigments that have antioxidants in them), stinging nettle also has anti-inflammatory and anti-infectious properties that help to lower your blood pressure, regulate your blood sugar and it can even help to treat prostate issues in men.
The reason why you should consider taking it as a supplement or drinking some stinging nettle tea during allergy season is it helps to reduce inflammation, and block histamine (the chemical in your immune system that causes your body to have allergy-related symptoms like sneezing, itching, and having a runny nose) receptors and reduce symptoms that are directly associated with hay fever.
4. Put a Cold Washcloth on Your Eyes
If one of the things that irks you to no end about allergy season is how itchy your eyes can get, it’s always a good idea to keep a cold washcloth close by. Not only will it help to soothe your irritated eyes as it reduces mild inflammation and puffiness, but this type of cool compress can also help to wipe away the pollen, dander, and whatever other allergens that are causing your eyes stress in the first place.
5. Eat Foods That Contain Quercetin
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There are certain foods that can help to get you through the allergy season. For instance, foods that are high in quercetin are good for you. And just what is quercetin? It’s a plant pigment that contains properties that help to lower your blood pressure, improve the quality of your workouts, and even slow down signs of aging. As far as allergies go, quercetin can help you out because it also has anti-inflammatory properties; plus, it helps to block the production of histamine. Foods that are high in quercetin include apples, kale, broccoli, red onions, and green tea.
6. Decrease Your Dairy Consumption
Something that allergies are prone to do is produce mucus. That’s because mucus is your body’s way of trying to keep allergens from going too deep into your system. And even though mucus is needed (whether we realize it or like it or not), dealing with thick mucus can oftentimes make you feel pretty miserable. That said, if you’ve heard somewhere before that consuming dairy will only produce more mucus and make it thicker too — here’s the deal. What science states is dairy doesn’t so much cause mucus to transpire so much as trigger additional production of mucus — meaning, most research says that there isn’t a direct correlation between dairy and mucus.
HOWEVER, since research also reveals that milk contains properties that are linked to diabetes and heart disease, a lot of it is full of hormones and pesticides and milk can increase inflammation in your system and inflammation is what happens when you have allergy symptoms (although yogurt is a dairy-based food that decreases inflammation) — sounds to me like it can actually work in your favor to decrease your dairy consumption during allergy season and go with some dairy alternatives (like coconut milk, almond milk, hemp milk, oat milk or cashew milk, etc.) instead.
7. Try Some Butterbur
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If you’re looking for some all-natural allergy relief, you definitely should give (the plant) butterbur a try. As I was doing some research on it, I noticed that it has a pretty solid reputation when it comes to treating migraines, hay fever, and asthma as well as bringing relief to symptoms like sneezing, itchy eyes, and nasal congestion. Although many people are fans of it, if you choose to take it in supplement form, make sure to run it by your doctor first.
For one thing, it could affect how other medications are processed in your system. Also, too much of it has the potential to stress your liver out. Oh, and if you are allergic to ragweed, it won’t help you much because it is actually a part of the ragweed plant family (sorry).
8. Enjoy Outdoors Before Noon
If you’re someone who enjoys the great outdoors yet wants to keep allergens from getting on your last nerve, it’s best to spend time outside between the hours of 4 a.m. and noon. Apparently, that is the time of the day when pollen is at its lowest. And when does it like to show out the most? That would be between 2 p.m. and 9 p.m., to be exact. So, if you like to meditate or exercise outdoors, doing it before lunchtime is going to be your best bet…as far as your allergies are concerned.
9. Change Your Clothes As Soon As You Get Home
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Some of us are old enough to remember having grandparents who hated the mere thought of us wearing “outside clothes” for too long after coming inside their house. Well, if you’re someone who deals with allergies, you should actually keep that tradition going because your clothes probably have pollen all over them. And, if you wearing those same articles while sitting on the couch or resting on your bed, you’ve just tracked all of that into your house…and your body will react similarly to how it did while you were outdoors.
10. Take Your Showers at Night
Just like it’s a good idea to change your clothes during allergy season, you should consider taking a shower before turning in at night as well. Not only does that significantly decrease your chances of ending up with allergens in your bedding, but showers before bedtime also help to reduce stress, lower your blood pressure, and clear up any nasal congestion that you might have. For tips on how to have a fabulous nighttime shower during the spring season, check out “How To Turn Your Showers Into A Tranquil DIY Spa.”
11. Close Your Windows. Turn on an Air Purifier.
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There is nothing like fresh air, I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Still, if you’ve got allergy issues, opening up your windows is going to bring some of what’s outdoors indoors. That’s why it’s best that you keep your windows closed as much as possible and that you turn on an air purifier. Air purifiers are bomb because they help to decrease allergens, contaminants, and dust particles and they can even reduce the spreading of certain viruses that may be in the air.
Just keep in mind that although air purifiers are effective, they can’t totally remove any of these things nor are they the best at getting rid of mold, nicotine, or animal dander. Just something to keep in mind.
12. Have Sex
I mean, you can check out articles like “10 Irrefutable Reasons To Have An Orgasm A Day” to see why it can never hurt to get some (safe) nookie in as much as possible; however, when it comes to your allergies, specifically, science says that engaging in sexual activity can help to strengthen your immune system.
Case in point: one study revealed that participants who had sex no less than three times a week ended up having more of the antibody immunoglobulin A in their saliva which helps to fight off viruses, bacteria, and health-related issues like bronchitis, asthma, sinusitis, eye and ear infections too. Hmph. As if you needed convincing to have more orgasms, right? I’m sayin’.
BONUS: See a Reputable Allergist
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And finally, definitely one of the reasons why allergy season is irritating for so many is because they aren’t able to find the proper relief — and that is because they are playing “Google expert” instead of actually making an appointment with an allergist. Why should you do that? Because they are professionally trained to test you in a way that will help you to get to the root of what you actually are allergic to.
So, if you do indeed have allergy symptoms yet you’ve never been officially diagnosed with what is causing them, it’s worth the investment to see a specialist in the field. The sooner you know what the issue is, the sooner you can find some much-needed relief. Zocdoc is one site that can help you find an allergist who is in your area and network. Go here for more info.
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