Remember those midday naps we were called away from playtime for when we were kids? I hated them. It seemed like they lasted forever and we spent more time pretending to be asleep, waiting for the moment to be told we could get up - fake yawning and returning to play - than we did actually resting. Now incorporating a nap into my daily routine is essential. I even schedule naps into my Google Calendar when necessary. I take my lunch break and will walk my tail out to my car and close my eyes for 15 minutes.
With all the conversations about self-care, I recognize that we often leave out the simplest and most important forms of self-care in favor of the fancier, pop cultural fads. Getting the daily rest we need is one of the best self-care tenants we can live by. As women on the rise, we've got people to see, things to do, and places to be and we need to be at our brightest, quickest, and most alert to make the moves we're here for. We need to rejuvenate on the regular. Adequate naps help tremendously with that.
My girlfriends and I agree: We regret the naps we goofed our way through as kids and will dare anybody to disturb the few we get now. It's hard enough trying to adult and get enough rest but when you throw in the curveball of how to get adequate rest, it can all become a bit trickier.
You might think, "Well, don't you just close your eyes and drift to sleep?" Not necessarily. Consistent studies show that there are proven ways to ensure you're napping to the best of your ability and getting the most out of each nap you take. I've taken the liberty of pulling some of the best tips to getting the best abbreviated shut-eye:
Limit Naps To 30 Minutes Or Less.
According to sleep.org, napping for longer than 30 minutes can counteract the benefits of a nap, which include alertness, enhanced performance, and a better mood. A nap is not supposed to take the place of actual sleep. Think of it as a quick recharge to a smartphone battery halfway through the day. If you charged your phone the night before, halfway through the next day you're perhaps between 65% and 55%. All the phone needs is a little boost in battery power to ensure it isn't completely dead by the end of the day.
It's Not Weird To Feel Tired Halfway Through The Day.
We've all felt that midday slump. You know, the sudden lack of motivation and energy that many of us override with caffeine. That less-than-energetic feeling around say, 2 or 3 p.m. doesn't (necessarily) mean anything is wrong. It's just that our bodies are not machines running on an endless supply of electricity. Our bodies run on what we put into them, how much (and the quality of) rest we get, our physical activity, and our mental/emotional health. Needing a rest in the middle of the day is essentially the way our bodies are designed. Factoring in how to get that rest should be a daily practice for everyone.
You Need A Good Night's Rest
If you're only getting a couple of hours of sleep each night because you're burning the midnight oil or you're binge-watching Being Mary Jane for the fifth time, a nap won't really do you any good the next day. Your body will always be struggling to make up for what it lost during the night. Naps are supplementary to your nightly sleep. The number differs by an hour or two but between 7 and 9 hours of sleep are necessary for peak productivity and better day-to-day health.
Sleeping In The Dark Is Most Effective
Light activity keeps the brain moving, expecting, waiting for something. Darkness allows the brain to settle itself and the body to relax, not expecting anything but rest. When at work, try finding an unoccupied room, setting your phone alarm for a good 15 to 20 minutes, turning out the lights, and dozing off. If that isn't an option, try using your car as Nap Central! Lay the seat back and apply a sleep mask over your eyes.
Try Meditation Apps
Apps like Calm, Headspace, Mindfulness , and MINDBODY (all available for iOS and Android) help you to practice mindfulness, meditation and rest. So, even if you can't take a nap during the day, you can still use one of these apps to close your eyes and allow your body to find its calm and center itself.
What ways can you begin to be more mindful and proactive about getting more rest? Let us know in the comments!
Featured image by Getty Images.
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Ashley is a storybuilder and storyteller who writes and produces to inform, connect, encourage and evoke. Vibe with her on Twitter/Instagram: @ashleylatruly.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
There's something about snuggling up in your favorite blanket and watching a comfort show or movie on Netflix, and what better time to do just that than in December? As the weather outside gets cooler, staying in becomes more of the norm. Thus, Netflix and Chill is a go-to. Luckily, Netflix has released new Black films and series on their popular streaming platform.
From Tyler Perry's historical drama The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington, to the Will Packer-produced comedy starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae, Little, this season is looking up.
See the full list below.
Little (12/1)
Regina Hall's character is a bossy tech mogul who has everyone scared of her, including her assistant, played by Issa Rae. However, when she transforms into her younger self (Marsai Martin), she learns how to be more kind to others.
Daddy Day Care (12/1)
Eddie Murphy stars in this film as a father who decides to open a daycare after losing his job.
30 For 30 Collection (12/2)
30 For 30 is an ESPN docu-series highlighting some of sports' legendary figures and moments. Some of the episodes include Winning Time: Reggie Miller Vs. The New York Knicks and Celtics/ Lakers: The Best of Enemies.
Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was (12/10)
In this special, the multi-talented Jamie Foxx returns to stand-up to give an unforgettable performance.
Blood, Sweat & Heels S2 (12/13)
The short-lived Bravo reality TV series documented the lives of a group of girlfriends making it in NYC. The show starred model-turned-podcaster Melyssa Ford, author Demetria Lucas, and the late TV host Daisy Lewellyn.
The Equalizer S1-3 (12/16)
The hit CBS show starring Queen Latifah is now available on Netflix. Watch the beloved actress kick ass and take names in this popular drama.
The Six Triple Eight (12/20)
The new Tyler Perry film starring Kerry Washington is a true story about the first and only Women’s Army Corps unit of color during World War II.
Christmas Game Day Ravens Vs. Texans (12/25)
While many will tune in to watch the Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans game, others will tune in to watch Beyoncé perform during halftime.
Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind At Radio City Music Hall (12/31)
Comedian Michelle Buteau's comedy special will focus on her life with twins, going viral, and much more.
Evil S3 (12/31)
While Evil was unfortunately canceled by CBS, viewers can rewatch the series on Netflix, with season three premiering December 31st.
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Feature image screenshot/YouTube